Quick, What Is This Woman Doing?
She has some form of pump attached to her face. She's moving her head up and down rhythmically... What the....??
She's using a Neckline Slimmer, of course!! Part neck brace, part tracheotomy, part pogostick, it is a special "system" (actually it's a coil with a chin rest) that promises to "tighten the muscles that keep your face and neck looking young and beautiful."
Invented by a former PE teacher (wow!), the Neckline Slimmer can be yours for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling. And you need never be without it, for it comes with a luxury carrying pouch. But seriously, where would you take it? We can only imagine the discussion at customs.... "It's not what you're thinking! It's a pump to eliminate my turkey neck..."
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She got bored using it as the "sexual enchantment" device it was built for.
I looked at it. It is a piece of plastic with a spring in it and a threadbare carry bag. That is it! You can get this junk for 19.99 PLUS 7.95 shipping. BUT WAIT, THERE's MORE! You can also get a little jar of cold creme to put on your neck for just 7.95 more in "processing" fees. What a deal! It is by Paul Inane!
Buyyyyit go the sheep....
Wow... a phys ed teacher? Those are some serious credentials.
>.>
<.<
I can't believe I missed it with my first post, but as it hasn't been done yet, I would like to post the obligitory "I've got a neck exercise for you" post.
Thank you, that is all.
Hmmm...last time I took kinesiology the only muscles under the chin (digastric muscles) aren't actually under the chin - they run along the outer portion of the jaw bone. When you clench your jaw those and the masseter muscle are tensed - along with some glands. So basically this thing is crap because that fat that forms a second or third chin isn't being worked by this POS - if anything the trapezius muscles are.
@WiglyWorm: Probably better than 99% of 'personal trainers', but still not what I'd consider inventor creds...
@HiPwr: The tend to nod when talking to their female friends, which also has a negative effect. Maintain steady tension!
@Audiyoda: So, I respectfully ask that you make a device to exercise whatever muscles need to be worked to eliminate the extra chins. Because it's not just women that get the double (and triple) chins. So, in case I get one later on, I need to have a piece of gym equipment to tone the necessary muscles.
TIA.
Women are so complex. I thought those things were more cucumber shaped, and that the erogenous zone was a bit... Lower.
The pictures make the device look effective, but what they don't show you is the binder clip under their right ear holding back their neck fat.
I am reminded of Austin Powers' Swedish penis pump. "REallly baby! That's not mine!"
I saw this infommercial a week or so ago. I thought the inventor was a physical therapist, not a gym teacher (I'm an occupational therapist so I usually pay attention to such)? He should be professionally disciplined if he is, the gizmo defies anatomy with regard to its claimed purpose.
@nybiker: HaHaHaHa!!!!!
I hate to break it to you but those second and third chins are fatty deposits - one way to get rid or fat like that...use more calories than you take in.
@lmarconi: I think he made the comment in jest. Everyone knows that guys can have double chins too ;)
This is such bullcrap (though I'm sure you've already realized that if you read this site). None of those neck toners or other muscle exercisers work. The only way you get great looking toned facial area skin is to /not use it/ (or lose some weight, porky, and hope you're one of the people who has the gene for skin shrinking).
If you have someone who has an early stroke that paralyzes one side of the face the frozen side often looks decades younger. Botox also works very well assuming it doesn't travel up your nerves and into your brain or other minor complications. But in any case, exercising it is the last thing you want to do.
@Shoelace: 'Inventor Creds'? What the heck is that? Let me point out how silly it is to even think, let alone type that; the Spread Spectrum concept which enabled reliable wireless communications in noisy channels (i.e. why your cellphone works) was 'invented' by a piano player and hollywood pinup girl (George Antheil and Hedy Lamarr). Now those are serious 'inventor creds' for high technology.
Inventors are a strange bunch, but rarely do they ever have serious training in the field they invent within (otherwise they would do things the same way everyone else does, the way they were taught to do it).
I saw this on TV last night. Laughed for ten minutes.
My brother has been trying to market his patented mold remediation product for fourteen years. Granted, it's not as sexy as the Neckline Slimmer, but it has practical purposes ... so why is it so difficult to get this on the market.
@SgtMajorFragg:
Mold remediation for your second and third chins does not make for a sexay infocommercial.
@WiglyWorm: No, a former gym teacher. As in one who probably got fired for advocating exactly this sort of silliness.
My first thought was that she was using an inhaler designed for people who had tracheotomies.
@savdavid: Billy Mays sold crap, but it was crap that had SOME truth to it. That mighty putty won't hold stuff up like he says it does, but it does handle broken tile nicely. (I got it for $8 at the local walgreens.
Reminds me of that Terry Gilliam movie "Brazil" where Katherine Helmond's character kept smacking the underside of her jaw with a ping pong paddle to avoid getting extra chins.
@Ben Popken: It kind of looks like one of those face buffer things in the photo of the device where it's not being used.
She accidentally used superglue instead of lip gloss, and so she had a portal installed in her neck to enable use of her inhaler when she suffers an asthma attack.
@BZMedia:
So did I. I can remember my Grandma using a Tennis Ball under her chin to keep it tone. Always did it behind closed doors, too- lol!
Obviously, it's because your brother never taught phys ed.
If women would spend less of their time shaking their heads NO, they wouldn't have this problem.