Engagement rings are supposed to go back to whoever bought it. They're purchased in expectation of getting married.

@bonzombiekitty: Indeed. If it's an engagement ring, it's not a gift, it's a down payment on a cook, housemaid, and prostitute.

@bonzombiekitty: just about to post that. anyone who sells an engagement ring will be open to a lawsuit.

@bonzombiekitty: They should be viewed as a promise (from both the giver and the recipient) of future marriage. If the engagement is broken because of infidelity, the ring should go to the one who was faithful.

@bonzombiekitty: I should note that I'm stating my opinion here. Some state laws will back me up, but others do differ.

What type of necklace, Alex?

@speedwell, avatar of snark: Hmmm. Then I'd better not propose to my girlfriend. I'm the cook and cleaner of the relationship. I mean, yeah I'd get the prostitute, but it's not worth it to get one out of three.

It must be sitting around wanting to go home on a Friday but the 1st line of this story sounded lets say, less than family friendly, if one's mind were to skew a certain direction...

@logicalnoise: I don't think so. Although there are social expectations attached to accepting an engagement ring, there's nothing legally binding about it.

I don't understand how anyone could feel justified to keep, or especially cash in on an expensive piece of jewelry that represents a relationship that fell apart. If your ex bought it, the right thing to do is give it back.

@VotaIdiota: Beat me to it, DAMN IT.

I wonder if it'd be smarter just to sell it to your local jeweler, considering how crappy Cash4Gold is with their mail-order service.

I remember reading a while back that DuBeers wanted to prevent a secondhand jewelery market to keep up their monopoly on diamonds, so they spread rumors like "a used ring is bad luck" and started their "A Diamond is Forever" campaign. I wonder if they're going to try to smear this business somehow?

I personally think it's great, if it's for a wedding ring from a divorce. Keeping the engagement ring is a bit weird, but I think it differs between situations.

@youbastid: Yes there are laws about it. It varies state to state.

Depending on how one receives an engagement ring it can be considered a gift and there for nobody can legally force you to return it.

That said, why not just hock it at a pawn shop for quick cash?

@youbastid: Its been discussed in other consumerist threads that an engagement ring is legally considered a "conditional gift." If the gift receiver voluntarily breaks off the relationship they need to return it.

This doesn't apply if the ring was given at a time when gifts are typically expected (Christmas, Birthday).

@VotaIdiota: I was wondering the same thing.

I don't think that means what you think it means!

@bonzombiekitty: Oh, propose all you want, but don't have the attitude that you bought her with a fancy ring, and that if she doesn't provide good "service" she has to refund your "money."

@bonzombiekitty: There was a "Miss Manners" or similar column about this. Her advice was just that - the ring is a "conditional gift" and should be returned if the wedding is called off.

I believe courts have found on more than one occassion that the the ring goes back to the guy if the wedding is called off.

I'm sure many people feel differently, especially if there was cheating or lies in the breakup. I guess those people can hash it out according to circumstances.

@BWoodle: Oh, I think Alex was well aware of what it could mean.

That's why I only buy Diamonique engagement rings. I don't have to ask all my ex-fiancees for the rings back. I'm only out 3 easy payments of $39.95. (Course they never know the difference until it's too late.)

@castlecraver: Well, technically a lady shouldn't be accepting jewelry from a man to whom she isn't engaged (save her male relatives, of course). So really we're just talking about engagement rings, because of course none of us would dream of being anything other than perfect ladies.

I had a lot of old jewelry from a past boyfriend. Birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. When I married, I gave the jewelry to the director of a local animal shelter. She sold them on ebay and gave the profits to their veterinary emergency fund. When a dog came in needing surgery and they used the funds to save him, she sent the nicest thank you card with a photo of the dog, now healthy and getting adopted.

@missi1226: That's not how the law works, though.

@johnva: Or rather, not how it works everywhere.

My girlfriend sent in a couple old pieces of Jewelery to this company and she got $22. She was hoping for around $150. I told her getting $40 was more likely and they even undercut me and I was being pessimistic.

After they send you a check they tell you any small stones in the piece of worthless, even if they are diamonds. Whoops.

@castlecraver: If I was breaking up with him, I would probably give it back. If he was a jerk or dumped me, I would probably keep it. If he was dumping me, but did it in a respectable, mature fashion, I would probably give it back as well.

@Skankingmike:

Yes, and depending on the jurisdiction (New York State is one example) and the circumstances of the receipt of the engagement ring, courts have indeed held engagement rings to be the property of the buyer at the termination of the engagment.
As to the pawn shop--terrible idea, because pawn shops give loans with the item as collateral, you will recieve much less than if you sell it at the outset.

@castlecraver: So i take it you have bought a decent amount of jewelery and then been dumped AND the women kept it huh?

If you give someone a gift its theirs. The only exception in my book would be an engagement ring.

Whoever keeps what, just please don't re-gift. You are asking for trouble.

It's a shame that people will sell items to be melted down and parted out without realizing or even checking if it may have aesthetic or historic value. Sure the diamonds and gold by themselves might be worth a few bucks, but an artfully constructed object from certain periods or makers may be worth much more than its components. It's worth getting an idea of what you have before you sell, although I'm sure that is not the target market of these buyers.

@johnva: The way it works in British Columbia (not sure if elsewhere in Canada) is that if the giver of the ring is the one to break the engagement, the receiver may keep it. If the receiver breaks it off, then the ring must be returned.

@bonzombiekitty: A lot of people I know have come up with the rule that if the giver is the reason for the breakup, the receiver gets to keep the ring. Like if John proposes to Jane and then cheats on her, Jane gets the ring. If it's mutual, or if Jane is the cause of the breakup, John gets the ring back.

Obviously some states' laws may disagree with that, but I think it's a pretty darn good rule.

@castlecraver: If your ex cheated on you, I could see keeping the ring.

@calquist: I've never really thought about it, but this is exactly what I've done. I gave back a nice non-engagement ring to a guy I dumped, but kept earrings from someone who turned out to be a jerk (and who dumped me in a jerk way). It never occurred to me that I might return the earrings to him. Just as I never expected him to return the gifts I got him.

@Julia789: Ok, that's just a really cool idea.

@full.tang.halo:
my dear Tang, I think that was the idea.

@cmdrsass:
indeed- I have a simple 14k band. It looks very bland and unassuming, until you turn it.
It has the inscriptions of my Maternal great-grandparents and the date of their marriage in 1922.
He was a carnie, so that ring is worth so much more than the gold it took to make.

@logicalnoise: Even if that's true, good luck finding an attorney to take the case. The amount of money you'd spend getting your dignity ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H engagement ring back would probably make it not worth it.

@Julia789: I think you mean if the recipient calls off the wedding. If the giver calls off the wedding, on his/her own head...

@Skankingmike: Just because the law doesn't require it doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do. And just because a relationship ended doesn't mean you have to be a jerk..

Can you turn in a kidney?

@TVarmy: Short of a pawn shop you won't find much of a market for your ring. The second part of your post is correct. There is very little liquidity in precious. Possibly due to DeBeers, possibly just due to the native culture, maybe even the fact the gems had no real value to start with.

The site is run by Goldkit.com. They're trying to put some lipstip on the tip by using a theme and hoping to get people to do something stupid while they're all emotional.

This is why there are pawn shops. Instant gratification and good chances of doing better than sending it into a black box and hoping you don't get screwed.

@floraposte: Well, you can get cash for that, but usually it has to be donated directly to the facility.

I prefer exboyfriendjewelry.com. It's like ebay stores, but sometimes with an entertaining story.

@bonzombiekitty: Hmmm. Then I'd better not propose to my girlfriend. I'm the cook and cleaner of the relationship. I mean, yeah I'd get the prostitute, but it's not worth it to get one out of three.

Hah! You think that you are going to get any after you lock yourself into a marriage?!?! Maby once a month and on valentines day... You are thinking "Thats just somthing people say - it won't happen to us." Thats what I thought. People say it because it is true. Unless your lady is the one bringing home the bacon it sounds like you got a crappy deal. Then again, if you do marry her atleast your expectations will already be low...

@bagumpity: Dunno, I've heard about some pretty extravagent engagement rings.

@bombhand:
The way it works in British Columbia (not sure if elsewhere in Canada) is that if the giver of the ring is the one to break the engagement, the receiver may keep it. If the receiver breaks it off, then the ring must be returned.

A lot of people I know have come up with the rule that if the giver is the reason for the breakup, the receiver gets to keep the ring. Like if John proposes to Jane and then cheats on her, Jane gets the ring. If it's mutual, or if Jane is the cause of the breakup, John gets the ring back.

Obviously some states' laws may disagree with that, but I think it's a pretty darn good rule.

In the limited court cases I have heard about engangment rings it was always stated the above is the rule. I would interested if anyone could name a state wear the law is different than above. I believe this is probably the standard with few to any invdividual state exceptions.

I saw this on TV the other day and my first thought was, "where in the world is this chick finding so many rich boyfriends?". Seriously.....where???