Lender Makes Borrowers Pledge Their Souls
A lender in Riga, Latvia, has borrowers sign away their souls as collateral on small, high-interest loans.
Mirosiichenko said his company would not employ debt collectors to get its money back if people refused to repay, and promised no physical violence. Signatories only have to give their first name and do not show any documents. "If they don't give it back, what can you do? They won't have a soul, that's all."
"Would you pledge your soul as loan collateral?" [Reuters] (Photo: goldberg)
Post a comment
Comments:
Mirosiichenko might have your soul, but your rear belongs to Wachovia!
*joke*
This has to be a prank of some kind.. there is no way at all this is legit? I mean.. c'mon.. Whats the scam here? Are people really that afraid that they have sold their souls?
He'd better hope that atheists never discover his business.
(To preempt the inevitable: yes, I know that technically being an atheist has nothing to do with not believing in souls. In practice, though, most don't.)
Time for me to get a new car loan! ;-)
"If they don't give it back, what can you do? They won't have a soul, that's all," he told Reuters in a basement office, with one desk, a computer and three chairs."
I'm guessing it was a very DEEP basement, the air conditioning really sucked, and there were fire hazards all over the place.
@diasdiem: Sign here, and here, initial here, here and here. Oh, and if you would just sign this fiddle contest waiver, that'd be great.
Do you think my credit report will show if I already have a lien on my soul?
(I was in desperate need of some red devil hot sauce - guess who made gave me the deal "of a lifetime"?)
@diasdiem: It's not that he plays fiddle that well, it's that the winner is determined through binding arbitration.
Does he have a metal mask by any chance? maybe with a green cape/suit combo. Does he hate Dr. Reed?
either way, i'd get that loan. he can have my soul, it doesn't have any money either.
For obvious reasons, investment bankers, lawyers, cable and telecommunication company executives, talentless yet successful movie stars and singers, and Rush Limbaugh are not eligible for these loans.
@johnva: While Satanists, seeing the entertainment value of watching a rousing fight over his cashiered soul between Beelzebub and Mirosiichenko when he dies, might sign up for two.
But how does he know he'll be able to collect? What if someone has already pledged their soul to someone else, and it's no longer theirs to give? Hasn't this guy ever seen The Simpsons?
so his forms read :
I, the Damned, Sign my Soul.....
@wheresmymind: Well obviously he does a credit check to see how much you've already leveraged your soul.
This guy probably employs Dementors as collection agents.
@johnva: This will all work fine until he catches the Buddhists and Hindus trying to put the same souls up for collateral over and over again.
@diasdiem: Damn, I was trying to parse that one thru my funnybox but you beat me to it. Well played, sir!
I can imagine that in addition to the spartan office equipment there was likely a table of shabby former soviets playing an angry game of cards in the corner.
@diasdiem: Actually, it's more biblical. They just cut your immortal soul into however many necessary pieces. As we all should know, these things can be cut as many times as necessary, and each cut all the more excruciating. Any inconvenience to the lenders is more than made up for with the agonized screams.
@diasdiem: I was told Hindus have only one soul but many lives... wouldnt they have to be reborn to do that kind of thing?
I should check the Latvian airline I was supposed to fly with and see if they're planning to take possession of my soul for filing a chargeback against them
Well if you enjoy having automatic doors not working, this deal is for you.
The only person to ever make money at this, is the Devil
I wish there were lenders like this in the US.
Note to self : If you're ever in Latvia, you win a free ipod!
Many can't even honor the loan contracts they sign and wind up settling or declaring bankruptcy . The thing that loves contracts like this is numerically identified with 3 6s . This might be one contract you not break .
"They won't have a soul, that's all."
Sounds fair to me. Wonder how much I could get for my family's dog's soul?
/I hate that dog.
@MostlyHarmless: Question is, do people with multiple personality disorders have more than one soul?
I've offered to sell my soul to the devil many times. He never shows up.
Maybe I don't have one?
@Rectilinear Propagation: Not at all. I heard it described as being like a series of full-body paper cuts, each one worse than the last. The first one a sting that throbs - they generally wait for it to subside the first time before making the next cut, assuming the individual bartered away their soul to more than two interests.
Not.. not that I actually know, or anything. I'm just guessing.
Does he hold a flashlight under his face when he goes over the loan terms with new clients?