Heck, thats what I did years ago. I didn't even tell my parents, my fiancee and I went to the town justice with a few witnesses, then out for chinese. My parents wanted to pay for the big wedding, and I wasn't having that.

Saved us a TON of dough!

That list is all well and good but when the typical American girl has been primed from the age of 4 for her "magical evening" it becomes a little tougher to deviate from the plan.

We ditched most of the wedding nonsense and I couldn't have been happier that we did.

We took our immediate family out to dinner and got married there (12 ppl). We got married at 4 right before the restaurant opened and they let us do it on the cheap.

Then we had a huge party the next afternoon for our friends and family. Our biggest expense was renting a tent and buying food (NO catering). We had a fun luau theme an had bought the decorations at the party stores last fall when it all went on clearance. We had a roasted pig, booze galore all kinds of food and over 100 people there that all had a great time in hawaiian shirts. Total price for everything? about $3500 not to mention just about no stress going into it.

Our wedding/party was more memorable and we still have people telling us what a good time they had, which is more than I can say for the normal/typical/cliche wedding and reception.

We came in really low on our wedding.

We won the wedding cake at one of the wedding expos we went to.

We used a historic town property and they even put up a tent for us (for a fee of course)

We got a justice of the peace

Because we were on town property, we couldn't do alcohol. So the only alcohol we had was for the champagne toast, other than that we had water, iced tea, and sodas.

We were going to set up music and run it off of a disc changer, but someone who was supposed to remember forgot to bring the extension cord.

My uncle's a florist and did the bouquet and center pieces as his wedding gift.

The two most expensive pieces were the food and the dress. My mother-in-law was nice and bought my wife's dress, and my father chipped in half for the food in exchange for not footing the bill for a rehearsal dinner.

Weddings have gotten out of control. The last one I was at everyone (350 guests) got a gift bag filled with Godiva chocolates, gift certificates, Fiji water, etc. I had to laugh when I was informed the couple had to take out a huge loan to cover the costs of the wedding.

Some of the suggestions are more than a bit self-serving. Using in-house vendors may be less expensive than finding your own, or they could be a whole lot more expensive. Depends on how you do your homework. Most supermarkets have surprisingly good floral shops in them that cost a tiny fraction of the in-house florists. Also, limiting alcohol to wine and beer is way cheaper than reducing the open bar to 4 hours instead of 5 - and you dont have to worry as much about people remembering your wedding with a DUI.

How about just going to City Hall and getting married there?

My wife and I wanted to go the Justice of the Peace route but neither of our families were going for that. We didn't wanted help with our wedding (so we could control it no question), so we did a cheap outdoor wedding that was "catered" by a deli for some meat/cheese trays, throw in a couple fruit/veggie trays and a bunch of sweet tea and everyone was happy.

Granted there isn't much you can do if the bride wants a big wedding, but I swear there is a connection between the price of the wedding and the divorce rate. Higher the price tag, higher divorce rate sounds right to me.

@MichClay: I went to one with all sorts of customized souvenirs. Can coozies with their names, cloth gift bags, someone hand rolling cigars with the couples names on personalized cigar bands and plenty of other stuff I forgot. Lots and lots of stuff.

Had to have cost a ton.

My wife got her dress on eBay. $1200 at David's Bridal...$150 on eBay.

I haven't read the list, but I can bet (and I hope) one of the criteria is only invite people you really want there. I've been to weddings before with friends that weren't even close friends with the couple, and we ended up going to the reception afterwards and getting smashed for free.

I recently got married (church wedding), and it was very expensive (and we tried to do it on a budget.) #1 cost: food and alcohol. #2 cost: photography.
Now, to put this in proper perspective, my wife is a photo enthusiast, and we could have saved a lot on photography, but the adage that you get what you pay for holds true, and she has a very discerning eye. That said, a good part of the photography cost included digital rights to the photos.

A couple of the cost-cutting measures we employed:
1. We weren't afraid to ask for price matches, and we weren't afraid to walk. We got a *fantastic* value on the catering and a good value on the DJ this way.
2. We did the hall decorations ourselves, taking advantage of good sales and coupons at hobby and arts and crafts stores.
3. We held the reception in a church hall rather than at a hotel. There are a lot of reception sites that don't advertise, are much less expensive than hotels, and are very, very nice. Word of mouth and feedback from friends and colleagues can pay dividends! (And not every church hall looks like a high school gym...)
4. If you want an open bar and you want to cut costs, look into beer and wine only.

One major point I disagree with is the recommendation to limit to close adult family. Inviting families with lots of kids was probably one of the best moves we made, because it was the kids who really got the dancing going and got the adults involved.

The main way to save money is to keep the guest list small, but that was nearly impossible to do without alienating our family and friends. Originally we made a list of less than 50 and told people "we're keeping it small" and then came the hissy fits - by the time we'd finished with the "just one more" requests we were over 100 people (and of course none of the family members lobbying for extra invites were willing to pay for anything). So, we got rid of open bar, shortened the party, worked out a different meal with the caterer, got rid of the planner (which sucked because the wedding was 2500 miles away from where we lived), trimmed the caterer's staff, got rid of the church and moved the whole venue to a botanical garden so we wouldn't have to decorate. Came in just barely over budget, but the parents took pity because we were trying so hard to accommodate everyone, and helped us out.

In the end, the party was a lot of fun, but we sort of wished we'd just gone to Vegas.

Well, I am getting married in about a year. And yep - we've already deployed the brunch strategy, but not to save money (we've got lots of friends with kids, not great at an evening wedding). Some of the ideas in the release have merit, but not for penny-pinching.

Since this isn't a first marriage for either of us, we thought about the whole Justice o' the Peace thing, but decided to go ahead and have a small, casual shindig with family and friends (and tons of kids). As such, we'll be severely limiting the open bar, if we have one at all, going with not steak or chicken, but brunch items (pop-tarts, anyone? I kid, I kid). No garter toss, no bouquet toss. Fun, casual, etc.

I know every girl dreams of a princess day - heck, I had one with the first wedding - but it's a shame that they think they have to spend $40K to get it. It becomes more about the party than the reason behind the party. This time around, I'm doing it right.

When I got married the entire ceremony, reception AND rings cost $800. I got married at my mother-in-law's house by a Justice Of The Peace, had pizza, subs, a keg of soda and one of beer and a karaoke DJ for the entertainment. Maybe 60 people were there, mostly close friends and family members. And ten years later people still mention what a good time they had.

A wedding isn't about tons of money. It should be about celebrating your marriage in whatever what makes sense to you.

Heck, I catered my own wedding making all of the food myself and my father-in-law and brother-in-law took care of setting the food while I was doing groom-stuff. We got married in an outdoor park, my wife's mom made her dress and a matching vest for me. A friend's mother who is an amazing photographer took pictures as her gift. The whole things cost us under $1200 and it was a great wedding.

@Josh_G: You may be on to something, Josh. My ex is the one who wanted the huge, traditional wedding--that should have been a huge red flag for me about what an idiot he was.

My wife and I went with a small company that provides everything for your wedding. For $1800, we had a videotaped service with pictures, wedding cake, cider, seating for our close family (about 18 people), bed and breakfast for 2 days, 2 full body massages, $100 dinner at local steakhouse.

I'm getting married this Saturday and have learned quite a bit about how to save money on a wedding.

The most important thing my bride and I did was make a rule for ourselves at the very beginning: WE WILL NOT BORROW MONEY, no matter what. There are too many important things to worry about after the wedding (house, work, children) to have to carry around huge piles of debt centered around just one day.

The thing I wish we had done differently: I wish we had sat down at the very beginning and worked out a budget. Because neither family could foot the entire bill for the reception (though they were both very generous), we should have done all of the budget work up front and then asked for money.

I also wish we had finalized the guest list very early on. Of 310 guests invited, we'll probably have about 180. We were biting our nails worrying we were going to have 250 show up.

Lastly, work with your vendors. If you can be flexible and can give up having everything exactly as you want it, your vendors can usually offer you a much better deal. We got a full dinner for the price of appetizers because we went with chicken, potatoes, and green beans instead of deviled eggs and other time-consuming food choices. We saved on wedding cake by ordering a small cake and then a large sheet cake to be cut behind the scenes.

@wgrune: Hey, I'm all for the "magical evening" part of it, but does the ceremony and reception have to be so damned expensive?!

@ryan89: I bought my dress on Ebay. It was $200 and didn't even need to be altered.

My husband & I got married on a beach in Hawaii - just the 2 of us. We got 8 days & 7 nights in Hawaii plus our ceremony with pictures & video for only about $4000, which we had been saving up for ourselves. I bought a dress off the rack at Macy's for $90.

I could not imagine a more beautiful and totally stress-free wedding than the one we had. Plus we were completely focused on each other & the commitment we were making rather than trying to make sure all of our divorced parents weren't fighting with each other or something.

Keeping the guest list small is a dumb idea - instead, keep the refreshments list small. As Miss Manners says, it's better to have everyone you care about celebrate your midafternoon wedding with cake and punch than to have a teeny guest list, piss everybody off and serve your few remaining friends a sit-down steak dinner.

I have my wedding planned out already. Anyone can use these ideas, but credit me please!
#1 My wedding will be held on SuperBowl Sunday, one of the least book days of the year traditionally(don't worry, this factors in later), so booking fees will be low.
#2 Instead of a straight reception, it will be a SuperBowl Party themed reception. So instead of a DJ, there will be Plasma's set up around the hall so people can watch the game.
#3 In the SuperBowl theme, there will be a pool-50/50 so the bride/groom can get a little something, and everyone can join in.
#4 Instead of a big wedding cake, I want each table to have an individual ice cream cake. Because, let's face it, Ice Cream cakes rock, Cookie Puss is romantic, and you don't have to hire a bakery for it.
#5 The part people like about the recpetion is usually the Horse Du-ver part, so instead of prime rib/chicken/fish, I'm going with a nice buffet style deal. This encourages people to get up and move around and mingle more, rather than chaining them to their tables.

That's just a basic overview, but what do you think?

@wgrune: It goes the other way around too. My boyfriend wants the big fancy wedding, but I'd be happy with a trip to the courthouse. I can't fathom the idea of throwing 10k away on one day when it could go towards a house, or savings.

@reimero:

There are a lot of reception sites that don't advertise, are much less expensive than hotels, and are very, very nice.

Our reception was at the Science Museum of Minnesota. The upper floor was blocked off for us, there were terrific views of the river from the large balcony, the house caterer is fantastic (no plastic chicken -- Hot Zone buffet, featuring food from the tropics), and every guest got passes to the museum. We contemplated the zoo as well, but the Science Museum better fit my nerdy nature.

@wchamilton: Exactly... I always felt a marriage was to celebrate, not show off. If you need a big, $20K wedding to make your nuptials feel IMPORTANT... then I would seriously reconsider who you are marrying.

@SetDipSwitchesTo_GitEmSteveDave: Can I come?

@SetDipSwitchesTo_GitEmSteveDave: We did the buffet deal at our reception, and the caterers did a great job. As you suggested, the crowd did mingle and chatted.

Ice cream cakes sounded nice, but leave them out too long and they will melt...get them out too early and they get hard as a rock.

I actually love the cakes from Costco. If our town had one, we would have bought our cake from there.

I had a very strange dream the other night that my ex- and I were married in North Korea by Kim Jong-Il...I have to think that's going to run us some dough...

I can't even believe the suggestions of getting rid of the open bar, making people pay for their own drinks, or not even having alcohol. unless you are in AA, i think it's a severe no-no to do that to your guests. i don't even care if the bride and groom don't drink. if you're vegetarian, will you force all your guests to eat tofu and salad also? save money by not getting the top shelf stuff but open bar should be a requirement at any wedding

also, if your family and friends have any class then their gift will cover the price per head and then some. i know i wouldn't give close to my standard gift if the event probably only cost a couple hundred to put together

We cleaned up at our wedding, and it was a hell of a nice wedding too.

1.) Reception: Used beautiful (city-owned) historic beachhouse for reception. The only downside was that we couldn't have liquor onsite (but we did anyway! bwhaha) - cost $400 for the night.

2.) Photos: Friend of the wife was professional photo journalist - cost $300 for hotel room and gas to get into town

3.) Video: Friend of mine was professional cameraman - cost $0

4.) Food: Local catering company which did an awesome job with apps & dinner - cost $3500 or so

5.) DJ: Laptop + ITunes. We had one of the ushers "DJ" the wedding. I didn't want some douche on stage playing the hokey pokey and costing me $$$

6.) Lighting: DIY + rentals for dancefloor lighting - cost $100

7.) Invitations, Menus, Etc: wife is a professional graphic designer, only cost was the paper - cost $200

6.) Flowers: Sister is a professional florist - cost $1000

7.) Band: Hired an awesome jazz band from Chicago off of craigslist. They were amazing. Cost: $2000 and worth every penny.

There were other expenses here and there but we were just lucky enough to have talented friends & family who were willing to help out with the wedding for cost of materials or free.

@jmujeff: when all was said and done we spent about $9000

1. Consider a formal gown, instead of a bridal gown. Bought a gorgeous white formal for under $200 (including tailoring). Wore it again to the formal dinner on my honeymoon cruise. Bonus!

2. Early evening (post-dinner) wedding. Say, 8 p.m. You can get by on heavy appetizers. No meal at all!

3. Look for package deals. My ex-hubby got his tux for free from the tux rental place the groomsmen used. The place also threw in free wedding invitations!

4. Don't serve hard liquor. Wine, champagne and beer are infinitely cheaper.

5. You don't need a band. Heck, DJ iPod on "mix" may be all you need!

6. Non-traditional venu. I rented the clubhouse at my apartment complex for the evening. Rented folding chairs for the ceremony, which were cleared after for the reception. NO driving for the folks in attendance! They milled by the pool with munchies which were set out while we cleared the room. We also hired the caterer who typically did the apartment complex parties. They were already familiar with the layout (most clubhouses have kitchens). We were also offered the model apartment (right next to the clubhouse) for a place for the wedding party to dress and primp pre-wedding at no extra charge!

@SetDipSwitchesTo_GitEmSteveDave: If you've got a ton of sports fans on your guest list, sounds like a blast!

@SetDipSwitchesTo_GitEmSteveDave: You forgot the strippers. Will the buffet include hot wings, chips/dip, and peanuts? I think a nice touch would be recliners for the wedding party...

Otherwise... top notch!

yeah i dunno.... Mexican weddings are a bit different. Main thing is the Tequila. there must be 2 or more options (i.e. Patron and Jose Cuervo). then there's the flood of kids. flowers. dresses. the cousins (12+), and of course, per each family that is invited, add +2 to the list, since we come in pairs and bring guests. food isn't that big of an issue. Video/photos a must. DJ and or live music must. doesn't have to be "fancy", but a large venue, with all of the above. limo isn't required, but a rental car will do.

my advice: save money on the photos/video!

shop around!

-dave

@KyleOrton: Some of those are cheap. I got married in Vegas and gave everyone a pack of playing cards - they were only about two bucks each.

@Moosehawk: The g/f and I are thinking of doing a destination wedding in Florida (we're from Chicago) for that very reason: so that only the select few people we really want there, and who really want to be there, are part of it. We might even end up saving money by only catering to fewer guests, plus everyone gets a nice little vacation out of it!

Tell that bridezilla whether her priority is the wedding or the marriage. Going into debt for a wedding is like spitting in your marriage's face. Also, no one will remember your wedding, no matter how fancy or opulent. But that marriage will be around a long time (unless you blow your nest egg on the wedding)

@Moosehawk: i'm sure it also helps to not come from a huge family, there are 82 people on my sister's guest list for her wedding, and like 40-50 of them are from my mom's side alone

@PinkBox: I've been amazed to find out what's really important to my fiancé. He was the one who absolutely insisted on the fancy gown, the tux, and the epic cake. (I'd been thinking cupcakes, myself.)

He grew up in a much more traditional family and place than I did, though, so I suppose we're both products of our upbringing. And the wedding (in just about three months), like so many other aspects of a relationship, is all about compromise...

My wife and I booked our reception at a place where we could bring in our own alcohol. I purchased 4 kegs from the local microbrew and many boxes of wine ("Bota Box") from the local store, and requested 2 bartenders from the catering service we hired. All told, the open bar cost me roughly $600 for ~200 people. Granted, not all of them drank. The bartenders made out like bandits!

@reimero: I have heard that a good source of inexpensive photography is photography students who are nearing graduation or just graduated and looking for jobs to build their portfolio.

@MichClay: God dang I will never understand going into debt for a wedding. Getting thousands of dollars into debt is a great way to start a marriage, right?

I'm getting married in September and I keep reading about how ungodly expensive your typical wedding is. it is such a ridiculous scam, the lot of it.

@ryan89: My mother is making my dress. We got all the fabric for it for around 70 bucks.

@ryan89: I'm a tomboy and never wanted a fancy wedding dress to begin with.

Simple white dress. Clearance rack, JCPenney. $11. 'Nuff said.

@reimero: My sister had all her friends take photos during her wedding, and I'm buying disposable cameras for mine. I'm operating under the "1000 monkeys in a room can write Shakespeare" theory, hoping if everyone is taking photos we will get a handful of great ones out of it.

@ossavir: Yes exactly! I simply do not understand the idea of going into debt for a wedding. There are plenty of other things you can blow thousands of dollars on that last longer than one day. You have plenty of time to get into ungodly debt with your new spouse, you don't have to start things off with a bank loan.