Credit Card Companies Return To Soliciting Children, Household Pets For Cards
I'm pleased to announce that the credit crunch is officially over. I'm basing this on a credit card solicitation sent to a Mr. Lazarus H. of Iowa. Lazarus, pictured at left, is seven years old.
His father, John, wrote to Consumerist:
My 7 year old son got mail from American Express and Northwest Airlines today. They want him to have his own credit card card it seems. He's already been scavenging our home for things that look like gold to send off to CashforGold.com to fund the ant farm he wants, so luckily I got to this before he could fill it out in crayon and send it back in. This isn't as funny as when my dog got a credit card offer about 10 years ago, but its still pretty funny.
We can only hope that he wouldn't be approved, but I am slightly disturbed at this insight into how Cash4Gold commercials are affecting our nation's youth.
Post a comment
Comments:
I love the Lederhosen! :-)
Both of my kids (ages 5 & 3) just received the same offer from Northwest/Amex. They are extremely excited at the prospect of being able to go to Disney World "any time" they want! Both offers also came with the cardboard mockup of the credit card so they think that's all they need for their future travel needs.
No offence to the OP, but that is one creepy kid.
And the fact that his name is Lazarus does not help at all.
Seriously, that's almost as bad as Damien. You're just ASKING for your child to grow up to become the Anti-Christ.
They are getting unscrupulous of what is on those mail lists they are buying.
Reminds me of Macaulay Culkin.
Out of all the pictures their kid they probably could have sent, they sent this one.
Really? That's the best picture you have?
So, unless the Simpsons has lied to me, I should be able to get a line of credit in the name of my pet - zany consequence-free hijinks will ensue, no ?
I also am interested in the Cash4Gold effect. As a child I always was looking for things to sell to make money for silly toys my folks wouldn't buy me.
What was the dog's name?
That picture was sent because it was funny, and he despised the lederhosen.
I dunno, that kid looks like an older version of my little brother (who is 4). Yeah, he is pretty damienish. I think it is the hyper white blonde hair, causing him to look like he has no eyebrows.
@Sheogorath: Yes, his hair turns white in the summer. And the blue eyes turn demonic. This is one of those things you do to scar your kids for life. ;) Actually, he will be ecstatic that he's on the internet.
@John Henschen: They're just adorable. Which is probably why he hates them.
Tell him good luck on his quest for ant farm funding!
@Raekwon: Same here, when I was 9 I got a medal detector for Christmas which I begged and begged and begged for. I think it only fueled my current addiction pf selling all my possessions on ebay.
@Blueskylaw: His name was Gary. Not nearly as good as if it had been something like Sparky or Noodles McBarksalot.
@John Henschen: Never, ever, pass up a chance to embarrass your children. Our parents did it to us, and we get to pass along the favor.
Just in case, though, you might want to fully fund your health savings account for the inevitable counseling.
@Sheogorath: Talk about blaming the victim! The CC companies are trying to goad him into life-destroying spending, John up here's making him wear lederhosen and you go and pick on the kid?
At least give him a beer if you're going to dress him like that.
@socialSTD: Yeah, he should have appealed to the Consumerist audience and took a picture of his kid holding a cat. Or better: two cats!
@John Henschen: You're destined for an old folks' home where the staff shaves your head and sells your hair to make wigs.
John, one point of honest confusion ... what's the point of obscuring your child's name in the post, but replying here under your real name?
Imagine this kid Lazarus coolly whipping out his AmEx. I want to see that lederhosen paired with $300 Oakleys, and a Segway!!
Try having a brother that LOOKED like Damien... when the movie first came out.
@John Henschen: The pic is perfection! He makes me want to nosh on some struesal kuchen while whistling Edelweiss.
@socialSTD: My mother will surely tell you that it's not about sending the best picture... perhaps they sent it for entertainment value? I'm mean enough to do that to my kids someday.
@John Henschen: So much for redacting your kid's last name, you just gave it away w/ your username here :)
Lazarus is an AWESOME name. I don't see how people don't agree. The only cooler name is Magnus, or possibly Thor. It's just unique and ultra powerful; heck, he at 7-years-old could have gotten SkyMiles for simply having such a badass name.
This family has bigger fish to fry than that credit card offer.
@Sheogorath: Anytime anyone starts a sentence with "no offense, but..." it means someone's about to say something offensive.
This isn't news. When you sign up for a frequent flyer number, you get tons of junk mail, particularly from the accompanying credit cards. My son has gotten these offers for years.
@kexline: I (author of the post) obscured the name, since I didn't know John commented here using his Facebook account.
Which is the bigger crime?
The credit card company sending an application to the child.
Or
The parent who named their kid Lazarrus and also posted a picture of him in Lederhosen on the internet.
Here's another photo of Lazarus, taken at a local park:
I know it's going to cause a shitstorm, but...
Wont someone think of the children?
He's just a little boy. Some of these posts are like they are talking about the clerk at the returns desk at WalMart.
@Harry Pothead: Yeah,that's one cool kid. And pretty good parents that they'd raise a young 'en like that.
My mom's son, on the other hand, would have maxed out the cards, flown to the Bahamas for a quick knighthood, then bought Disneyworld and ruled it forever as my private kingdom.
But in a sarong. Because even as a child, I'd have worried about the leather chafing.
@TurboWagon00: Buck Bundy!
My fraternity got a Citibank Chicago Bears credit card back in the 1990s - in the name of the moosehead in the TV room. (The moosehead - "Moritmer Moose" - actually had a credit rating because the utilities were hooked up in its name...)
@Trai_Dep: Or Tarzan loincloth. Depending on the age when Emperor Trai took over Southern Florida.
Well, to be more precise, Boy.
(Leopard skin doesn't chafe, btw)
@John Henschen: Your kid is aces. And you've done an awesome job.
Get him to think bigger though. Instead of ant farms, I was weighing whether I'd be a more fit King of Atlantis (always liked to swim, so it seemed a perfect fit at the time) or Southern Florida (Disneyword. [Season pass * infinity]. Enough said).
Luckily for Florida (let alone Atlantis), my cagey parents got me a frog & terrarium, which distracted me from my despotic phase.
And while lederhosen are outstanding, have mom contemplate something from Where The Wild Things Are the next time she's cooling her heels.
There aren't enough kids with floppy tails, glow-in-the-dark fangs and felt horns roaming the streets these days.
Really awesome!
See, he dresses for success and the banks take notice.