Our wedding only cost $8k. It included the service in the chapel at my alma mater, a three-hour reception including a catered dinner for 80 at a country club, two live DJs and a photographer for the entire thing.

You can save a lot of money on a wedding, as long as you're willing to shop around!

I've said it once, I'll say it again.

Do not skimp on photography. You got one chance to get it right.

Some of those tips are something really true. Guests don't care about favors and most people can give cash. However, cash, at least at the Catholic weddings I usually go to, is not something you want to ask for. If someone provides, great! If not, you can't ask. Generally, a registry is a nice way to not look cheap. I know this to be the way with my German Catholic family. However, my boyfriend's Iranian family sees no point in a registry - it is ALL about giving money, usually in the form of coins.

So, it depends on the cultural context. Also, if you don't invite your parents to the ceremony and you are a person from a traditional German American family, you will probably be in trouble with your relatives. My parents WILL kill us if we ever get hitched at city hall and no one can see it. My bf's parents don't really care because they realize that men cannot be at the ceremony anyhow, so that cuts back on 2 people (traditional Iranian ceremony). Besides, all you do is say yes three times and you are married. WAY different than with most of my family members who are Catholic (I am not).

Those are pretty extreme!

However, I was in a wedding party where they had the rehearsal dinner at this dinky, cheap Chinese restaraunt, and it was one of the best meals of my life!

I later asked the Groom how much it cost and he told me about $600 (there was about 35 of us so less than $20 a person--including beer and wine!)

We all still talk about that experience. So sometimes saving money can make you original.

My wedding cost ~$1500, for everything: dress, reception (we did a breakfast brunch, the wedding was at 10 AM), church fees, etc. And you know what? I'm just as married as if I'd spent $30K, except without the ridiculous amount of debt.

Something that worked for my wife and I - see if the reception hall has a Saturday afternoon time block for the reception instead of an evening block. We ended up spending about 30% less to have the wedding from 11:00am - 5:00pm instead of 6:00pm - midnight. The added benefit was that we were able to go back to my parents house and have a relaxed after party for people who weren't able to interact with us as much as they would have liked during the reception.

Also, if you're not dead set on a church ceremony, see if the reception hall will allow you to do the ceremony there for a small fee. You save money by not having to get transportation and you also get the convenience of having your guests walk about 30 yards to the cocktail hour after the ceremony is over instead of having to pack up and drive to another location.

We had a wedding with about 50 guests in my inlaws backyard. My dad brought lasagnes and grilled chicken, we made lots of platters of veggies and other appetizers, i had my dress made for $250 (incl embroidery), hired a celebrant for $100, bought bulk flowers (about $350) and made them into our own bouquets and arrangements, two amazing cakes that didn't look wedding-y, rented chairs, bought a nice suit for fairly cheap and a pony keg of beer and sodas on ice. A friend gifted us the photography.

WONDERFUL party with memories that last forever.

1) Rings don't have to be expensive
2) Ok
3) Ok
4) Some people (especially older) have a problem with this
5) Doesn't have to be expensive, ours was 200$
6) Wife did that
7) We browbeat them about the price and got it down easy
8) We went on a very long vacation

I spent $850 on my wedding. My Wife's dress was a bargan prom dress at a store. We went to florida for a destination wedding and had a Great Time!

We had our family and close friends come down and spend a few days with us down there. (I live in Iowa btw) We had flowers, the license, the officiant, and a photographer for $850. Got 2 hours worth of pictures on CD with full rights to print.

I have been in several weddings over the last few years of friends and I can say without a doubt, my wedding was the most stress free one I have ever and probably will ever be at. We came home and had a gathering at a local restaurant that rents out their back room for free as long as you use them for food. Brought in our own cake and had apps for 5 hours and people watched a slideshow of our honeymoon and wedding pics on the big screen they had.

Best.
Wedding.
Ever.

@missdona: exactly true. I discounted everything but the photography. The groom couldn't get his head around the cost, but with some encouraging from peers, came to realize, this is the one thing that if it's screwed up, you WILL kick yourself. I still take out the pictures from our wedding 10 years later.

My wedding cost $110. Plus gas. We're still together after five years. My wife's sister's wedding cost literally a thousand times that previous figure. Her husband left her high and dry with two kids. Maybe I'm just a superstitious Irishman, but it seems that the more public fuss and hullabaloo you make about something, the more likely that thing is to fail. Seriously guys - most of us are not royalty or high-ranking members of the military...we don't need all the pomp and circumstance. This is one area wherein our materialistic and shallow culture really does us no favors.

My sister's wedding last summer was about $5500. Her dress came from David's Bridal ($600) and was beautiful, the ceremony and reception were held at the same venue (gorgeous view on the river) and the meal was buffet (and delicious), the DJ great fun. We made simple, beautiful centerpieces and the favors were simply chocolates in the cute little place cards we got on clearance at Micheal's.

My sister-in-law's wedding reception alone was $15,000, not to mention the cocktail party right before, the house reception before that, and the probably $5000 dress. There was a five-course meal, huge floral centerpieces on each table, and a live band.

They are both legally married, only my sister's husband is not an asshole like my sister-in-law's. Who got the better deal all-around?

Wedding for us was 10k, including the cost of the honeymoon (went to Italy for 10 days, stayed on a vineyard in Tuscany).

We had a buffet-style lunch (morning wedding) for 200, including soup, salad, and sandwiches.

We DIY'd the centerpieces and flowers, got the floor sample clearance dress, had an outdoor wedding on a golf course, and the reception was inside the country club.

It was beautiful and amazing.

@missdona: That's the only area that we made sure to spend money on in the wedding... but we simply ordered the coverage for the day and a DVD along with a letter giving us copyright to the photos (to show when we print them out... very important).

We ordered a 12x12 leather-bound photo book from shutterfly.com (anywhere else works too), and with about 58 pages it cost only $130 for the book (20 pages with the photographer would cost about $1000... but with much nicer prints probably)

@missdona: The biggest chunk of change for our wedding was for the photography, which was beautiful (tip: buy the proofs!). But I also got a fun wedding video for cheap by putting a video camera in my film-happy friend's hands and letting her go nuts with it. She had a blast and the video is priceless. :)

Skimp on the wedding and spend the money on the marriage.

No one will remember your wedding. I don't remember my own. But I still got the marriage.

@winstonthorne: Before the insecurities start flying, I would like to point out that I do not recommend that everyone elope as I did; I'm merely pointing out that there is no corollary between a lavish wedding and a successful marriage. You can definitely have a small, tasteful, reasonable wedding and still live up to society's expectations (if that's your cup of tea).

My wedding (which was only 3 weeks ago today) ended up only costing about 10k total including honeymoon. It was on a Friday. We had an outdoor service, went to a local park with our photographer and then had a buffet reception for about 140 people. We had free beer all night, a DJ and a 4 tier cake that we spent about $700 on. We splurged on the photography and the cake, as those were important to us. We spent 5 nights at an all inclusive sandals resort in Jamaica for our honeymoon. We shopped around quite a bit and did a lot of things ourselves and still were able to have a full blown wedding for around 10k. Its not that difficult to have a fun, laidback and inexpensive wedding if you try.

Maybe I'm just a superstitious Irishman, but it seems that the more public fuss and hullabaloo you make about something, the more likely that thing is to fail.

@winstonthorne: But then shouldn't the wedding day have have fallen apart as opposed to the marriage ending?

@Rectilinear Propagation: Not necessarily. Having your wedding day be the "best day of your life" is a great way to ensure that none of the days thereafter (i.e. your actual marriage) can possibly live up to that standard.

My wife of 13 years and I got married for $20. That was the cost of going to the justice of the peace. The size and expense of a wedding has no bearing on the most important aspects of a marriage. To this day we do not regret foregoing a big ceremony.

If the wedding event is important to you or your soon-to-be spouse, I'd spend the dough.

I'm so glad my wife let us do something really simple - wedding at her church, reception at the church afterwards - we did the wedding around 1-2 PM (so after Lunch & before dinner), so we just had snakes & stuff like that for the guest.

We still got a good cake, good dress, good photographer - along with setting out many disposable cameras on the tables for guest to take pictures during the reception (kids loved it.) - got some really good pictures from those.

We did take a nice cruise which was probable the most expensive part of the whole deal, and it was great.

It's a matter of context and perspective, your own beliefs and priorities. Many women (and some men) dream about their wedding day their entire lives, they have a very specific idea of how it should be. More power to them, especially if they are lucky enough to have parents or someone else footing the bill.

Today I think it's perhaps a bit more common to find people paying for their own weddings. Doing it on the cheap doesn't mean it has to be bland or low-rent. We tried to stay focused on the idea that we wanted it to be a fun event for everyone, and since we were paying, we tried not to get hung up on what various relatives thought we should do.

Look into facilities where the wedding is to take place such as museums and historic homes. Many of them can be rented at very reasonable rates, making for a much more unique and inviting setting than a windowless hotel meeting room, and often they provide the chairs and tables and all the other stuff you'll need.

There are many ways to save money while being creative and making the event fun. Remember, it's YOUR big day.

@Brian James Schend: Some people will remember it. I actually still have some relatives (on hubby's side) that talk to me about what a great time they had at our wedding, and that was 9 years ago. So if it's fun, they'll remember it. Our reception was in a museum, though, with a great DJ who actually looked to see what kind of music people were dancing to and PLAYED MORE OF IT (just like I told him to!) So we had a great evening of 40's swing, 70's disco, and 80's dance music.

I definitely think my wedding was expensive, but the people paying for everything (both sets of parents pitched in and we paid for parts ourselves) were comfortable with the expenses. My parents wanted to offer an open bar and didn't have a problem paying for it, her parents wanted more expensive food and accepted the cost for it and my wife really wanted a videographer and thought the cost was worth it.

While a lot of the things seemed wasteful to me, different people wanted different things. I think the only time money is an issue with a wedding is when the person making the decisions can't agree with the person paying for them.

Some of the suggests are absolutely ludicrous, yes. You can get a really nice, simple wedding band for $100. This is not an area in which you have to just give it up entirely because you need to save money. I actually don't know any married people who chose not give rings at all. Women who have slimmer fingers will save money because they knock down the price of the ring based on how much gold they don't have to use. Also..most people can't tell the difference between white gold (rhodium plating) and platinum. If you need to save money, just get the white gold. Or, if you aren't particularly rough with your hands, sterling silver works as well. I take my ring off when I'm at home because it has a very detailed design and beveling on it, so if I wear it when I cook, it increases the likelihood it'll get scratched. Take care of your rings, things will be fine. Don't skip it entirely.

There's nothing wrong with borrowing wedding jewelry. Or, if you're on a budget but can't bear to walk down the aisle in $5 craptastic Claire's jewelry, visit Swarovski instead of the diamond store. Crystal looks like diamond to the common eye and is a ton cheaper.

You can save a ton of money on the cake if you're reasonable. If you must have gold foil on your cake, make it a small detail, rather than a whole design. If you need to feed 300 people, make a small cake and have sheet cake in the back. Just make sure it tastes good. That's what people really remember.

If you have to have a big cake for looks sake, ask about a false layer that's just a plastic mold covered in buttercream or fondant and one "slice" area that you can use for the cake cutting ceremony.

I think the best advice is: be reasonable and realistic.

The City Hall idea won't fly with me or anyone in my family. I'm getting married at a (hopefully my) church and that's that. Since I'm a member there I also don't need to pay a ton to rent it out. I don't even think I have to pay at all. And I know a ton of crafty people who could work on favors or decorations and whatnot.

Skipping the music is also something I wouldn't do. I think almost everyone knows someone (or knows someone who knows someone) who's a DJ who will give a friend discount. Heck, if it's a really close friend or family member, they might do it for free.

And no engagement ring I can see happening, but wedding rings are a must for me. Ditching the engagement ring seems like something that'll only work if you're one of those couples that discusses marriage instead of making the proposal a complete surprise. I'd rather be completely surprised (discussing it, to me, makes it less romantic), so what would I do? Say, "Take it back, let's save some money!"? He might interpret that as "I don't like the ring" and get offended, and heck, I really do want an engagement ring lol.

On the registry: if you can't ask for cash, register at Bed Bath & Beyond. Their return policies are as liberal as I've ever seen (returns are good for up to 2 years out from the event, there's no need for a receipt if the item is from the registry, and they'll allow returns for cash). When my fiancee and I went there to register, we were told by the wedding coordinator that it's not uncommon for people to return several thousand dollars worth of gifts to them -- as she said "if you want a $400 set of knives, cool. If you'd rather have $400, well, just think of us as a bank that also sells housewares."

As for our wedding:

1) Engagement ring and wedding ring as a set (purchased as estate jewelery) FTW!
2) David's Bridal -- we spent less than $600 for a custom-fitted dress.
3) Flip-flops indeed, but then again we're getting married on the beach.
4) See above.
5) Getting married at a public beachside park by a friend who's a notary. $60 to rent the park for 2 hours.
6) We're DIY'ing it (everyone's getting wine that I sell, custom-labeled courtesy of a friend who's a graphic designer)
7) We're getting a DJ, as the bride wants to dance. Ceremony music is coming courtesy of a cousin who's a professional musician.
8) We're splurging here -- $55 a head for a brunch reception including 2 entrees, a carving station, a waffle/omlette station, an hour of passed drinks at the Hilton -- but they're getting the cake (a $400+ savings!).
9) We live in Florida, and will be taking a cruise from Miami, so no flight expenses.

Other money-saving tips:

Forgo the open bar -- opt for a cash bar, but give everyone two drinks or somesuch (you can attach tickets to the seating card, or give the bartender $x and say when it runs out, cash only). If you DO go for an open bar, opt to pay for what people actually drink, rather than a flat fee per hour (people generally drink less than you think they will, overall. Yeah, you'll subsidize your cousin Steve who drinks jack-and-coke like a fish, but you won't be paying for Aunt Micki who doesn't drink).

Some venues let you bring your own wine, for a fee ("corkage" -- this also applies to restaurants). Ask; you'll have a greater variety at the local wine store than the venue can offer, and you can find offbeat stuff for a lot less (eg, our venue charges $15 a bottle for corkage. Kendal-Jackson chard is $30 a bottle from them. It's $10.50 at my local wine store.). Just note that you often can't bring wine that they sell (so in my case, we're NOT serving KJ).

Print your own invites and save-the-dates; $40 for 50 invites and envelopes, and some time, to get nearly the same quality as you would get while paying $300+ (the only difference? It's not raised print. Whoopee.).

Shop around for vendors -- we've gotten radically different price quotes for the same service (eg, our photographer is costing us less than 1/3 of what the highest quote we've gotten).

Get married on an "off" day, time, or season -- Saturday is expensive, generally. Brunch receptions are a lot less expensive than dinner. And some places are seasonal (getting married in Florida, you'll pay a lot less for June than you will for November). Be flexible!

I think when I got married, the total cost was about $450

I'd just moved to the US from the UK (my wife had tried 6 months in the UK and didn't like it) and most of our money was tied up in immigration crap.

One of the wife's friends organised it.

Her father (county probate judge) did the ceremony.
We used his 'fishing land' (had a perfect little creek bridge, with a 3ft jetty sticking out into the flint river for the ceremony)

Rings were $50 each, from a local jewler

One friend had his video camera, and we'd called in a favour from the photographer for the newspaper my wife worked at to take pics.

Dress she'd bought 2 years earlier, for the event we met at, but which she never ended up wearing

Catering, well was only a dozen people there, some home baked cake and fruit punch (judges land means no alcohol, apparently - gotta love Georgia) and a few other things.

Honeymoon, went and spent the night in Atlanta (could only get a babysitter for one night). DVD of the event was done the next day, also had all the photos everyone took on it (those that used film got them developed that evening and emailed them)

I was very happy. Less so when after getting home, and while getting changed, they covered our car in shaving cream (not so bad) and black liquid shoe polish (which is still on the edges of windows, 6.5 years later)

Worst part of the whole thing? The blood test that Ga required at the time (I HATE needles), a requirement they dropped 2 months later. The $450 includes the costs of the tests, and licenses, and the dress for my 6yo flower-girl step-daughter.

@missdona: Buy disposable cameras and pass them out to guests that didn't bring cameras. Have then take pictures and then give them back at the end of the festivities. Once developed you'll get pictures of the bride and groom but also guests and kids and almost everything that a single photographer will never get.

Also get everyone with their own camera to give you a copy of everything they take.

We spent $75 on disp cameras and had several other with their own and we got pictures from almost every angle of the ceremony and receptions.

@Brian James Schend: That's not true, I remember my good friends' wedding (the only one I've been to as an adult without my parents--it was for my friends, not a family friend or a relative). I'm not saying go hog wild, but don't go get married at City Hall and skip a reception because you think people don't care.

Our wedding was about ~$1400...depending on how you count everything out.

We wend to Orlando for the wedding, and invited immediate family to come, and naturally if someone else *really* wanted to come, they could pony up the money to fly to and stay at Orlando themselves. That got us one cousin and a girlfriend to boot. The trip was also essentially vacation/honeymoon, so I'm not counting those costs into the "wedding" FYI.

We used a local wedding coordinator to do the cheapest thing possible - which was to rent a small, but very nice, outdoor area to have the ceremony at a swanky resort (not the one we stayed at, which was much less expensive). $500 for the ceremony included rental/use of that property, the officiant who conducted the cermony (we did a civil ceremony, naturally they can do any religion you want too), a small wedding cake and a bottle of champagne. I tipped the coordinator and officianet $50 each. Then we had a meal for everyone at the swanky steakhouse at the swanky resort, which we paid for, and that meal was more than the ceremony cost us.

So there you go...very nice "destination" wedding for ~$1,400.

@stang: Some people like this, some people don't. I got married at a really beautiful country club, with its rolling hills and gardens, and I really didn't want or need the umpteenth diagonal faux-artsy shot of a flower. No thanks. We spent the money, got a great photographer, and got some gorgeous shots of us and the landscape. Also, our price came with two photographers who carried two cameras each. No space uncovered there!

And also, in this day and age, almost everyone has a digital camera. If you have a lot of friends who use facebook or other social networking sites, you can guarantee those photos will be up by the end of the day anyway. Save the money and let your friends do what they'll do anyway.

@YouDidWhatNow?:

Oh, and I should mention that my wife bought an ensemble for the "wedding dress" that looked very nice from discount racks, but was stuff she could re-use. I splurged $300 for a new Calvin Klien suit, few extra bucks for a new shirt and tie to go with it, that could also be re-used, as I frequently wear suits for work anyway. Because those are easily re-usable items, in my little world they weren't "wedding costs" either.

@Brian James Schend: People still remember my wedding. I made sure the food was good, the music was enjoyable, and that people had fun. More than being a day about me, I wanted it to be a reason to party. :)

Getting married next March, we're doing a destination wedding in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. Wedding and Honeymoon in one. Costing us under $8K and all invited guests are on their own to get there and pay for rooms. All-inclusive resort, so no extras except if we schedule an off-resort excursion.

@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: Who rents and buys apparel for weddings has always been odd to me.

Many men rent tuxedos once every few years (so they might benefit by just buying one) and women typically buy their wedding dress which they can only wear once. Meanwhile, many tuxedos are cheaper to buy than wedding dresses. The renting/buying is backwards and the only one that benefits are the manufacturers and stores who maximize profits.

@missdona: Well, one chance each wedding. ;P

@winstonthorne: I think it is more likely that the type of people who demand thousands and thousands of dollars to be spent on their wedding are more likely to be picky and high maintenance and no one wants to put up with that forever ;)

@EdnaLegume: I had a friend who asked a family friend to do photography at his wedding (on the account that she was a semi-professional photographer for his church), and I could tell right away that it was a mistake. I saw some of their photos they posted. Kind of reminded me of prom. Red eyes, everyone was just too bright, no color correction. Shadows. Ugh.

@stang: That never works. People are having too much fun to take pictures. Every camera will have 2 or 3 shots of goofy faces and table centerpieces.

@stang: Unfortunately, you also get a lot of extreme closeup shots that little kids take of themselves, or running down the hallways of the church, or just underexposed because the hall is dark and someone doesn't know how to use the flash. That was pretty much my sister's experience with putting a disposable camera on each table. She spent $200 on cameras and processing for about 15 usable amateur shots.

@winstonthorne: Agreed. The wedding should be the first day of the rest of your life together, not the best day and everything's downhill from here...

@Brian James Schend:

"No one will remember your wedding. I don't remember my own. But I still got the marriage."

Vegas, much?

@italianscallion33: See, we discussed it at length, because it wasn't just a romantic or lovey dovey decision. It affected both of our lives permanently, and it was something that had a financial stake as well. We had to make sure our finances were entirely in the clear first, and that we were on the same page when it came to what we wanted out of a wedding. It seems like we were being extremely calculating (perhaps too calculating) because we wanted to avoid fighting about it later. We never did really fight about anything regarding the wedding, mostly because we have a simple, clean style that was a mix of tradition (minister) and modern (rock music!).

@pecan 3.14159265: Actually, in the article it refers chiefly to giving up the engagement ring. I'm all for that. I think it's more of a status thing, to show off the rock, and that's not - in my mind - the best way to start off your life together.

After my husband lost the gold ring we bought, we switched to sterling silver bands, and they were so cheap we could afford "backup" bands in case one got lost!

@gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: Well, I suppose that proves that she married wrongly, and you chose well. The wedding isn't a yardstick for how successful the marriage will be. It's the people who determine success, not the wedding.

Our wedding (back in 2001 mind you) cost us less then $1000, and thats with the dresses, tux rentals and the like ... There really isnt any reason to have such an expensive wedding unless you like to waste money ..

The honeymoon, however, was a different story.

@calquist: I think you put it quite nicely.

Also, @winstonthorne: you should check out Indian weddings and divorce rates :P

(Though its a lot easier to keep a wife if your parents threaten to immolate her if she so much as thinks about leaving.)