Bad News: New Scientology Commercials Better Than The Old
Until recently, Scientology ads had a built-in safety valve to protect sane but impressionable people. They had the overabundance of numinous sky and sunset shots, fake gold lettering with clumsily Photoshopped twinkly glints, and too much of everything, slathered on with fists of ham. The ads gave that subtle sense of unease that comes from being part of a well-funded cult.
But a new crop of ads has the right mix of talent, lack of morality, and extreme vagueness to closely resemble mainstream TV commercials. The message is, essentially: You're a human, and you are alive. These ads, slickly produced as they are, have one very big Achilles' heel: Scientology.
The commercials say, "We all feel it. That unexplainable emptiness, that can only be filled by one thing: the truth." Then the tagline: Scientology.
Better to leave off there, of course, because "...the truth that king alien Xenu buried other aliens in volcanoes and now many of them are living inside you" isn't going to speak to the masses.
But if the bad news is these ads look slick enough to rope in poor chumps. The good news is that the tagline "Know yourself. Know life." is very easy to change on billboards to "no self. no life." (not that we'd ever, ever encourage that sort of thing).
Scientology will repair your awful life [Adfreak]
Carrie McLaren & Jason Torchinsky are coeditors of Ad Nauseam: A Survivor's Guide to American Consumer Culture. In previous lives, they worked together on the hopelessly obscure and now defunct Stay Free! magazine .
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Comments:
@SeniorPonzologist_GitEmSteveDave: Not really.. they use the poor chumps as slave labor.
Seriously. Either that, or they make them take out huge loans from family or a 3rd mortgage..
Scientology is freaky in so many ways (the aliens being chief) but I've always seen it as a cult. This is from my study of cults. Also, Tom Cruise is a terrifying little man who kind of got branded the posterchild of the "organization" and that doesn't help them.
@SeniorPonzologist_GitEmSteveDave: But rich chumps get their money from poor chumps, so it's all the same in the end.
Doesn't the new commercial look like a Veridian Dynamics spoof from Better off Ted?
@SeniorPonzologist_GitEmSteveDave: Yeah, but the only ones with that delicious mix of too much money and not enough intelligence happen to work in Hollywood. Being forever associated with John Travolta and Tom Cruise isn't exactly good for one's image.
If Scientology focused on science and dropped all of the religious/spiritual crap, they might actually get somewhere.
I love how that second ad is a blatant grab at the 18-35-year old market. Just what we need, more young loonies.
The new commercials still seem all manner of creepy to me.
I don't think they could ever put out a commercial that is truly uncreepy, even if they left out their name.
@pecan 3.14159265: Yeah.. the more you learn about it.. the more freakish it becomes..
It gives me a giant case of the heebies.. and I'm sure they could throw in some jeebies if I paid a small nominal fee.
So THAT'S what a commercial made entirely of stock footage looks like.
It just seems a little odd to have the Consumerist speaking in this tone regarding a recognized religion (at least as a tax-exempt religion in the US). I'm not religious in any fashion, but doesn't this article seem more like a condemnation of the religion than a commentary on the commercial itself?
Seconded. These creeps are serious bad news, and the more people get wise the better.
I think the economy is hitting Scientology in the pocketbook so they're now actively recruiting bodies and bucks.
Would love to see what would happen if a handful of Scientology followers were put to debate with the same number of LaRouche followers.
King Xenu and volcanos, cats & dogs living together, Santa flying around dropping toys through every chimney in the world.... utter madness. But a burning bush and walking on water, virgin births, and God listening to everyone whisper all the time.... makes perfect sense.
The rest are no better than the Scientology nuts. They just have a tighter grip.
Achilles' heel. The mythical Greek hero was Achilles, not Achille.
there is nothing better about this country than the freedoms of expression, association, innovation that we enjoy -- BUT we as a society should recognize that there must be limits.
Why? Because Scientology is fundamentally evil. Yes, evil in most visceral connotation of the word -- they are a group of people that seeks to destroy our society from within. They take unsuspecting people, brainwash them, extort their money, and use tactics of litigation, harrassment, slander/libel, extortion, fear, to silence anyone who criticizes them. This is fundamentally evil, and we must recognize that if it were allowed to spread, it would be counter to everything that we cherish about our freedoms. They are a danger because of the scale and growth of their operation.
Scientology is not a religion -- it is a financial operation, a Ponzi scheme if you will, that seeks to change our world for the worse, in everything they do. At least the other recognized religions give you a choice about various things, and seek to contribute to society. I'll repeat it, Scientology seeks only to grow itself and control more people.
It is a little sad that people hard on their luck, in dire straits, have to reach out to Scientology, because they're so readily available on the street corner (and using deceptive practices too). We should offer people better/more productive ways to connect to others and feel like they are not alone.
And in the face of such a terrible organization, you must realize that they are the enemy of society. And take action to prevent such an organization from spreading. Our laws do not address something like this, but they should, because Scientology truly is the enemy of the public good.
Bah. It's too generic. You can cut it off at 1:02 and stick any company's logo and tagline there...
Seems to me that Scientology is no less credible than Christianity. I mean, they're both based on completely ridiculous mythologies, and Christian churches want your money too, so wtf?! I think that if you're going to have a problem with one, you've got to be equally pissed at the other. So what if Scientology is newer-- being a screwball is being a screwball. At least Scientology hasn't carried out crusades against heathens in the name of righteousness... yet.
I think if Churches had to pay taxes, like every other organization on earth, those in it for profit might find the pastures of legitimate business much greener. Fix the tax code and you'll fix the cults. World problems solved, you're welcome.
@Venkman: Agreed. I think the Greeks had it right. Thunder? That means Zeus is mad and/or he's having sex with a mortal woman. I mean, what else could it be?
What's the one Madonna was into? Kabala or something? Where you have to wear a string around your wrist to show how unique you are.
@pecan 3.14159265: It's no more of a cult than the Catholic church, or really any religion. It uses the exact same methods of getting people to believe. Scientology is just a little more upfront with the extortion.
Also, your study of cults?
I am hope!
I am also happy to see that weird old commercial with the awesome scientist. It's kind of funny what scientology does, it tricks you by showing you something that you want, and then switching it really fast with something you would never ever ever want. Go away scientology! No one wants your parasitic engrams or your programmable thetans or your judgmental SP name dropping.
As far as the ad itself goes, I think it's fairly on par with the Mormon ads.
@pecan 3.14159265: PS - Tom Cruise doesn't help them? Have you scene what their enrollment was prior to his involvement vs. now?
@Mike Gerow:
Normally I would agree with you, but Scientology exists as a scam to separate people from their money, and this is a consumer advocacy website.
No other religion in the world demands tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars to participate. Religion is free; Scientology is expensive.
I live by a popular flea market called Trader's World near Dayton, OH. About a month ago I was scoping out mullets and skullets when I saw a big Scientology booth with a small line of people waiting to use the e-meter. I felt bad because most of them did not look terribly educated and I could see them being easily scammed.
I thought this was Consumerist, not Religionist.
The second one reminds me of Amway ads.
@Mike Gerow: You could look at it as a consumer issue because being involved with them costs people a LOT of money. Whether it's a good thing or bad in itself, informing consumers of it helps them. It's not a condemnation of any religion, but reminding consumers of the practice of expecting an ever-increasing amount of money in that particular organization.
@SeniorPonzologist_GitEmSteveDave: i believe that's why the commercial started out with a car that costs more than $500k.
@The_Gas_Man: "Religion is free"
wait.... what? Since when?
The religions I've had the unpleasant experience of running into (because they come knocking on my door) all expect money from you sooner or later. And you will be SHAMED and brow-beaten into giving it up. God needs money! He always needs more money! That McMansion the preacher is living in is expensive you know. (and he needs another Jag)
@angelzero: You make it sound like they do science at some level. They don't. They just have some similar letters in their name.
@SeniorPonzologist_GitEmSteveDave: I live just a few blocks from the Scientology hive over in Los Feliz (an east hollywood hipster enclave), and I can assure you that they want everybody regardless of how broke you are-- they even have special flyers they'd leave at my apartment building enticing aspiring actors to come to their workshops (most with a headliner celeb like Juliette Lewis)... They prey on the broke-- they might even help you find work-- all so they can charge you for it later.
@BZMedia: That seems like a logical argument until you really see what Scientology is.
It's not just their 'beliefs' that people take issue with, but their actions.
As far as their beliefs, though, if you look at the tenets of most major religions, you can see the value and purpose of (most of) their messages, even if you take the stories themselves as metaphors.
Not so much with Scientology. It's not just fantastical, but it's usually either pointless or just plain evil. The goals of getting through the OT levels include things like gaining the ability to kill people just by looking at them.
And probably most illustrative is the fact that most major mainstream religions encourage people to learn more about their beliefs. Scientology threatens people who try.
@floraposte: Exactly. It's like how the Christian Science Monitor was started by a member of that church but it was not intended to be a religious publication and in fact has very little religious content (aside from one religious piece every edition).
waaaaaaaaaaaaay tooooooooooooo looooooooooooong.
@BZMedia: THANK YOU for that. There is a heck of a lot of pot and kettling going on here. To me Christianity is actually scarier because the brainwashing is deep rooted and widespread. At least my money doesn't say "In Xenu we trust".
@colorisnteverything: I haven't watched the commercial yet, but I like the fact that you watch Better Off Ted too. And, yeah, their spoof commercials are a hoot.
If I understand Scientology correctly, won't they avoid the "poor" chumps, and instead e-meter the "rich" chumps?