Usually, to follow someone on Twitter, you click “Follow.” So why does Walmart have a 3,379-word terms of use specifically for their Twitter accounts posted on the company Web site? Seriously, we’re asking, because no one has any idea. [BoingBoing]

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  1. Vanilla5 says:

    Well, I think it’s pretty clear that they’re saying what they will and will not answer via Twitter, what they will and will not be held to, and what they won’t agree to.

    It appears to be a pretty standard (and rather short) piece of legalese (as far as legalese goes). They don’t want somebody coming to a customer service counter and saying, “Hey, Walmart’s Twitter page said they would fix my issue and that they woud do x, y, and z.” It’s not like they posted it ON Twitter. Are you just trying to highlight the irony regarding the length?

    I imagine their “what we will and will not do/accept/agree to via Twitter” stance would change if something REALLY hit the fan.

  2. Trai_Dep says:

    Legal notices of all kinds would be dramatically shorter if lawyers had to tap them out manually at 140 characters per page.

    • TheSpatulaOfLove says:

      @Trai_Dep:

      No, because they they would hire a paralegal to do the typing, then bill the client for the extra time and wear & tear on the device…

      Gotta think like a shyster in order to understand a shyster…

  3. gman863 says:

    Offer void where prohibited. Substantial penalty for early withdrawl. Participants have been renumerated and results are atypical. Some users of the Wal-Mart Twitter Page have experienced rare but serious side effects including nausea, vomiting, blurred vision and, in rare cases, even death. If depression or thoughts of suicide occur, discontinue use of the Wal-Mart Twitter Page immediately and seek medical help. Do not visit the Wal-Mart Twitter Page if you are pregnant, think you might be pregnant or are nursing. Do not mix the Wal-Mart Twitter Page with other Twitter Pages including Target, K-Mart, Lowe’s or Home Depot. For further details, consult your information technology professional.

  4. Telekinesis123 says:

    Corporate makes me…shiver.

  5. zimmi88 says:

    Wait… umm… what? What service is Wal-Mart binding this TOU to? Their TOU starts out with:

    Thank you for visiting http://www.walmartstores.com/twitter (the “Site”). The Site includes a networking service operated by Wal-Mart-Stores, Inc. (“Wal-Mart”) to allow users to share experiences and communicate their thoughts and opinions.

    But… huh? Wal-Mart doesn’t run Twitter. Does this even work?

    I especially love this line they bury in there…

    PLEASE BE SURE NOT TO SUBMIT ANY WAL-MART CONTENT, SUCH AS DESIGNS, QUOTES FROM WAL-MART EMPLOYEES, IMAGES OF EVENTS OR ACTIVITIES AT WAL-MART, ADVERTISEMENTS, DOCUMENTS, ETC., UNLESS YOU HAVE SPECIFIC, WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM APPROPRIATE WAL-MART MANAGEMENT PERSONNEL.

    Pff, just sounds like Wal-Mart wants to silence the recently growing trend of consumer success via Twitter.

    Mehhh, now my head hurts….

  6. zandar says:

    Why the hell would you follow WalMart, anyway?

  7. Vanessa Miyazato says:

    Has anyone read the accompanying “Terms of Discussion Policy”?

    They specify what you can and cannot say to them via your Twitter account. They even try to use some internet lingo (see the FAIL and WIN.)

    ———————
    # We won’t reply to off topic @replies. Personal attacks and foul language = FAIL. Adding to the discussion = WIN.
    # @replies should contribute to the dialogue. Please support any claims with links to sources whenever possible. We love opinions. We love it even more when you back them up.

  8. macaddct1984 says:

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