Hey dumb crooks, if you’re going to rob a place be sure not to wear a uniform with your company’s name on it and drive a van plastered with a nationally recognized logo. It makes it really easy for the police to catch you. On second thought, do just that, please.
According to KPTV in Oregon,
At about 10:45 a.m. Wednesday, the man walked into the Ace Checks Cashed on Southeast 73rd Avenue and Powell Street, where he attacked and robbed a woman who works in the store, police said. Officers have identified the employee as 37-year-old Nicole Loundree, of Portland.
Workers at a nearby business said they noticed something suspicious at the check-cashing store and then saw a man in a Comcast uniform rush out and leave in a Comcast van.
The police stopped two nearby Comcast vans and arrested one of the drivers, 25-year-old Michael Clarence Hagen, and charged him with attempted aggravated murder, assault, and robbery.
Hilariously, at least one local Comcast customer has decided this spells doom for her future Comcast dealings:
That frightens me because Comcast was just at our house this morning just at 9 o’clock fixing our wireless Internet, because our modems were broken, and you don’t know who you’re letting in your home,” [Michelle] Gardner said.
We know we like to cover bad things that Comcast does, but we’re pretty sure they don’t hire criminals at any higher a rate than other companies.
“Comcast Worker Jailed; Robbery Victim Recovering” [KPTV] (Thanks to Kevin!)
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Even when they attempt to rob some place, Comcast can’t get it right.
@AlteredBeast: +1 for making me laugh even though I feel like I have the swine flu.
@LadySiren: STAY AWAY! Don’t you DARE infect this city any more than it already is!
@Con Seannery: Pish-posh, Guilford County only has 27 cases confirmed. Wake County has a whopping 51 cases. Then again, Guilford did have the only 2 H1N1 deaths in the state…
[www.epi.state.nc.us]
@AlteredBeast: lmao. thanks for a good laugh.
@AlteredBeast: I heard that he was supposed to rob the check store at 9 but another appointment ran long so he was late.
I knew of one that used to hoard company supplies. His garage was jammed FULL of spools of cable, cable connectors, splitters, etc…. boxes upon boxes of stuff. I’m sure he had enough to start his own cable company. No idea what he was gonna do with all that crap.
@BZMedia: if he has no issue stealing from the company, im sure he has no issue “selling” service on the side.
@BZMedia:
Probably sell it on Ebay. A close friend of mine who works for a large electronics company (that shall remain nameless for my friends sake) told me of a rule made after a former employee set up a “Company Outlet Store” on Ebay.
The company saw the store, traced it back to an employee who was taking merchandise from the warehouse and making a tidy profit off of it on Ebay.
@socalrob: Or he had his own installation business on the side.
“Yeah, I’ll hook up yer cable for a case of beer.”
@socalrob: place I worked at for a bit use these particular circuit printing machines.
One day the main tech was out sick and some parts were needed. so the company Secretary went online to find somewhere to order them. She found a lovely site to order the parts from, run by the Tech that was off sick.
yup he was taking the parts home and selling them online…
@BZMedia: We once noticed our not-yet-released hardware product up on eBay. We traced it back to someone who worked at the board manufacturer swiping assembled components and selling them on eBay. Unfortunately, I never found out what happened to that person…
@BZMedia: One place I worked for, a new employee, freshly hired, sent out an email to the entire company, even the CEO (maybe 500 people in three states), hawking ripped DVD’s of movies that hadn’t even hit theaters yet. First email he sent, man, DVD’s, $10. That dude was fired in less than twenty minutes.
@Nakko:
What a DUMBASS.
Although a smart criminal would get their hands on a uniform and truck for a company they didn’t work for.
@I Love New Jersey: Not that smart. Look for the getaway vehicle with COMCAST emblazened on the side. This wasn’t “The Italian Job” here, just some nitwit assaulting a woman and scurrying away with probably less than $100.
@I Love New Jersey: If you’re intelligent and apply for a job at Comcast, they will tell you you’re overqualified.
Hey, I drive past that place, lol. That’s random Powell Blvd (Portland) crime for you…
@Powered by Tofu: I’m in PDX, I didn’t even bother to forward this to the Consumerist tip line; with “Comcast” “Robbed” “Attempted aggravated murder” I had a feeling it would be picked up.
This makes total sense: Comcast is already stealing from its customers by excessive cable rates, poor customer service, charging/billing for service not delivered. Not allowing you to close your account, capping bandwidth, selling below par services, wrecking your property and the list goes no. Now they’re stepping things up by having their service people rob without the pretense of any service at all. Natural progression. Bad times encourage desperate measures.
@vastrightwing: Actually I just assumed they robbed her since she wasn’t a customer. So they have to steal from everyone equally…
Wonder if he was on his lunch break from an installation.
@nato0519: Nah, he would’ve fallen asleep in the middle of the robbery.
I think he was trying a little too hard to show that he’s management material for Comcast.
@dosdelon:
Nice.
@dosdelon: COTD!
Ah well… atleast comcast hires criminals at much lower rates than wall street.
(is exec bashing still in, or is it like “sooo last season”?)
@MostlyHarmless: Never gets old, my friend.
@MostlyHarmless: At least Comcast has less criminals than the US Congress…
@Con Seannery: That…THAT SHOULDN’T BE DOWN HERE!
@Con Seannery: Oh, okay. It DID go to the right place…
I few days we’ll see a post “Concast sending bill to check cashing store that was robbed”
Oh, that’s just Crimetastic! Comcast should hire Baghdad Bob as their PR spokesperson, at least we could have a good laugh while he explains how good they are.
@Bruce: Now, for the one intended for you before my former comment so rudely interrupted.
No, no, no…Not “crimetastic,” crimeCASTic!
@Con Seannery: Yup! You’re absolutely correct, crimeCASTic! is a better description of Comcast. If they’re not falling asleep on your couch, they’re ramming their trucks into your cars. Now, it’s attempted aggravated murder. Who runs the place, Tony Soprano?
Ironically, the thief wore his uniform to gain access to “fix” the phone lines he cut – but the shop has Qwest, not Comcast, and that raised a red flag with a neighboring shop owner who called police…
So a customer robs a check cashing store. How’s that for role reversal?
@TheBursar: Now see, other folks nominated less worthy posts for COTD and left yours out of the running entirely. This is the true comment of the day, chiefly because it’s so damned true…:P
Unfortunately the check robbing store was caught off guard because they were told to expect the robbery between Noon & 4pm on the next day.
@Bluth_Cornballer: make that *check cashing* store… stupid fat fingers.
@Bluth_Cornballer: I think “check robbing store” works JUST fine.
@Crabby Cakes: @MostlyHarmless: Hey, in their defense, usury isn’t technically robbery.
@Bluth_Cornballer: Yeah, “check robbing store” is fairly accurate too.
@Bluth_Cornballer: Beat me to it.
I need to refresh the page before posting.
@Bluth_Cornballer: well done, freudian slip and all
he wasnt tipped enough
Looks like the turntables have… … …
Comcast Corporate has been robbing people for years, about time the little guy got a piece of the action.
The worst part of this was he was supposed to rob the place between 4am and 8am.
We’ll did they get their cable fixed or not?
If Comcast paid him more, he wouldn’t have to rob people on his lunch hour.
If Comcast didn’t have a monopoly in the area, they would have to compete for his services and he would make enough to feed his meth habit without resorting to crime.
I blame the government and Comcast!
@tmed: For the record, comcast doesn’t have a monopoly in the Portland area – FIOS is out there too.
@DreamTheEndless: Yeah, but you know, FIOS isn’t available in my area, so monopoly…
You’d think at least Comcast guys would get it right, since they’re so experienced in robbing people anyway.
Wait, “charged him with attempted aggravated murder”? Did you mean aggravated assault? I’ve never heard of aggravated murder.
@Berz:
If you read the original article, “attempted aggravated murder” is what was reported. Chris is quoting, so yes, he meant to write aggravated murder.
Generally some crime is aggravated if there are additional circumstances such as using a firearm in the commission of a felony.
Did he sleep through the robbery?
Give him a break – at least he didn’t set the place on fire for once.
And at the end of the month the store will get robbed again when Comcast sends them their monthly bill.
KGW has much better info on the story. My brother was the “neighbor at the local business” and if the guy hadn’t been so stupid that he cut the phone line to my brother’s store too (I was actually talking to him when it happened) then my brother wouldn’t have gone down to check the ace check store, and the guy probably would have gotten away with it.
Righteous poetic justice. Way to go Comcast.
I’ve got a Comcast installer coming to my place tomorrow. I’m going to make sure I leave this story up on my monitor.
Now that would be an interesting study.
But I’m too lazy to even go back and count how many “Comcast employee does something illegal” stories there are here as opposed to maybe Best Buy. I think there’s been more than two of each.
Is it really a crime to rob a check cashing shop?
As a 16 year Comcast employee, I can tell you that TRUST is not something that can be discovered in the interview process nor in background checks. Clowns like this give the rest of the 99%+ decent and honest Comcast employees a bad name. Using a company vehicle and wearing a company uniform? Sounds like he wanted to get caught to me.