Did you know McDonald’s sold bags of ice? It seems like ice-vending is just the start of that slippery slope down into the pit of conveniencestoredom, presaging the horrific day when you can buy McNuggets and deodorant at the same place.
Anyway, this guy Brad knew McDonald’s sold bags of ice, and for some reason he was in desperate need of a large amount of ice (I suspect some sort of organ theft). Brad, being crafty, remembered seeing that his local McDonald’s was selling 10 lb. bags of ice for a buck. In Brad’s words:
What a great deal! I thought, so I took myself there, and picked up 5
bags… But when I got home, I thought… No way these are 10 lbs a piece. Henceforth, I grabbed my scale, weighed myself without, then with one bag of ice that was unopened and filled to the max. Guess what… 6.2 lbs.
Woah. Brad was TAKEN for 3.8 lbs of frozen water. Now, this is clearly a ripoff, but I’m afraid there’s a catch. If you look on the bag of ice (pictured) you see right below the bold claim of “10 LBS” it says “APPROXIMATELY.” Granted, a difference of 38% pushes the bounds on what “approximately” can apply to, but, in general, this seems like a promising tack for all of McDonald’s labeling. “Approximately 100% Beef!” sure makes a great tagline, and one far easier to live up to, what with all the delicious horses in the world going to waste.
So, let this be a warning to anyone buying ice from McDonald’s: stop paying for empty, albeit cold, air! Demand crushed ice, or, even better, just fill the bag up with water and freeze it into a huge solid block.
Carrie McLaren & Jason Torchinsky are coeditors of Ad Nauseam: A Survivor’s Guide to American Consumer Culture. In previous lives, they worked together on the hopelessly obscure and now defunct Stay Free! magazine .