...the future Mrs. Jacob had recently registered with TheKnot.com or a similar site. She had not. She did register with them a few years ago, but never added anything about her engagement.

Danger Will Robinson!

Is this any worse than a company following me on Twitter for merely mentioning them in a Tweet? It's really freaky when I mention to someone that Charter has a twitter to get THEIR problem, and twitter responds to me asking to solve the problem. I think I've only followed one company back, and that was Lodge, and they make awesome cast iron cookware, so they can do no wrong in my book. :)

@Auto-Erotic_GitEmSteveDave-ation: Some companies follow me just for mentioning their area of expertise. Like, I mention the Buffalo Sabres or knitting or online poker, bam, new followers. They must have bots that do this.

This is why I will not join Facebook no matter how many of my friends keep bugging me to do it. There are too many stories like this. It's pretty clearly a data mining site masquerading as social networking.

How could PB know if your information is kept private between you and your friends? Oh, because you have a PUBLIC profile? And it's weird to you that someone might try to capitalize on your personal info you publish? SHOCKING.

@Auto-Erotic_GitEmSteveDave-ation: I find this slightly stalkery, but got yelled at by a twitter rep for a company for saying in an unrelated conversation that I found it a little stalkery. So now I find it double-stalkery AND a little scary, what with the (virtual) yelling.

I know they're just googling and using bots and so forth, but the contacts that follow those "finds" up aren't always appropriate to the situation (I've had it happen a few times). Like, maybe instead of CALLING ME AT HOME ON AN UNLISTED NUMBER in response to an exasperated blog post, gas utility, you could post in the comments of my complaining blog post and say, "We'd like to resolve this, please call us at ...." (And then the person who called was talking about all the people we knew in common and I was like, "Holy shit, super-stalker, you're making me want to cancel my gas service and just freeze to death you're freaking me out so much.")

@Auto-Erotic_GitEmSteveDave-ation: One of my friends joked that my appendix removal surgery was really to remove an alien baby, and now some wacko UFO club is following both of us on Twitter.

I get the same thing with mentioning my blackberry or eee pc or whatnot. Doesn't bother me really, I'm not obliged to follow them or see their tweets if I don't want to.

@Cocotte: oops that was meant to be a reply to @Auto-Erotic_GitEmSteveDave-ation up thar.

the OP obviously wanted people to know they were engaged or she wouldnt have posted it ON A PUBLIC WEBSITE.

Im so sick of people getting pissed off at sites like facebook becasue the information they posted ON A PUBLIC WEBSITE got out.

If you have info you dont want somone knowing, dont publish it to the world.

Loooove the photo.

Also, I never had anything like this happen to me, but I kept the highest privacy option on my FB profile and the only thing I did was change my status and upload a few photos.

@BigFoot_Pete: My thoughts exactly, don't put it out there and then be surprised when someone finds it.

@kaceetheconsumer: i think you're a bit paranoid. I've been a member of facebook for a couple yrs and i've never gotten an unsolicited email. I think the OP/consumerist is jumping to conclusions

@BigFoot_Pete: Stop blaming the victim. Profiles are not public per se. It depends on your privacy settings, but most profiles are only viewable by people you accept as friends and applications you install on your wall.

If this is neither, the Pottery Barn (and Facebook) owes her an explanation. Advertises should not be able to capitalize on that info.

@pb5000: This Todd Davis from Liflock getting ticked that his social security number is out in the public... I'm just can't imagine how people knew my public information!

[www.lifelock.com]

should have stuck with myspace. tom is nowhere near as nosey.

@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): Did you know...

... that star commenters cannot get banned for posting pics of adorable babies in frogsuits?

@dohtem: Public profile's one thing, but I don't believe her e-mail was public.

@leastcmplicated: If this was the first time I'd seen a story like this, that'd be one thing. But check the history:

[consumerist.com]

This sort of thing seems to happen a lot, and it makes one wonder how many unreported incidents there have been. And the way they keep jerking around their TOS is downright creepy.

Smart company. Good marketing and partnership. I'm impressed.

i got engaged this weekend, changed it on facebook, and haven't heard from pottery barn. i'd guess you either need to up those privacy settings, or someone signed you up...

side note: i'm sad my targeted ads haven't been as awesome as some of my engaged friends. they've totally gotten "worried you'll be fat on your wedding day?" ads.

@xtc46 - thinksmarter on twitter: I would subscribe to your newsletter.

@dohtem: Or she could just not use Facebook. Or not get pissed over this clever marketing ploy. Either/or.

@xtc46 - thinksmarter on twitter: Unless someone has their profile set to be public, the information posted therein IS NOT PUBLIC. Even if it is, the related email address is often NOT PUBLIC. I'd like more information about the privacy settings she had going before I blame the OP. That's just my...you know...common sense, talking.

@Laura Northrup: No mention of email, she changed her "status" on her public profile.

Echoing the comments above, can we get more information on what privacy setting's the OP's fiancee had on her facebook? If she had it set entirely public...well, I'm a little creeped out by random PB employees surfing facebook for engaged couples, but it would be legal. If not, I'm not liking it.

@kaceetheconsumer: Ok. So don't join.

@Canino: They offer resources that can be useful for bridesmaids and other members of the wedding party. I used them a lot when I was a bridesmaid for checklists of my duties, and to look at and save bridesmaid dresses, since the bride asked for our input on our dresses.

@dohtem: Wake up. Nothing you do on the internet is private.

I've been in a relationship for 5 years, on Facebook for 3+ and my three side ads nearly always include at least one for engagement rings. I always wonder if they know I'm in a long-term relationship.

Soooo ... we're surprised that facebook is being used for marketing purposes?

Could maybe one of her/his friends have registered them on PB?

@Laura Northrup: I work in a college's PR office. We're still testing the waters, so to speak, of an institutional presence on twitter. One of the ground rules for us: the institution shouldn't follow people. I'll admit, this new world is a little weird.

@silversilver: Just like it registers when you change your relationship status, I'm sure it registers when you haven't in a long time.

@leastcmplicated: It may be a bit paranoid, but I'm with the OP.

Aside from the fact that just don't care which one of my friends is "just chillin" or "opening up a box of thin mints". Marketing agencies spent billions over the last decade to try and get the kind of information being spewed all over the place for free on twitter/facebook etc.

While most of them are probably legit, and won't use this information maliciously. There are enough nefarious ones out there (this is where most spyware comes from) that I wouldn't trust to even know my name let alone the type of products I purchase and whatever other personally identifiable information they can mine.

More likely, Pottery Barn pays for the right to mine the data for just such an occasion. The terms of service state: "We share your information with third parties only in limited circumstances where we believe such sharing is 1) reasonably necessary to offer the service, 2) legally required or, 3) permitted by you."

Public Profile = Permitted use.

The OP doesn't say that he's angry or nervous that Pottery Barn got the information. From the way I read it, he mostly seems surprised (and a bit amused) that someone at PB is apparently trawling through Facebook just to find people who have recently changed their relationship status to "Engaged".

How many people on here (who use Facebook) have various applications on Facebook that have asked for permission to look at their files and friends etc.? Well every one of those applications have been given the right to view your status, because you gave it to them. One of those likely trolls the status of people who have allowed them in and then gets paid to spam you with pertinent emails based on your status, comments, etc. Moral is, the next time someone wants you to take some stupid quiz or "challenges" you to some game or bogus IQ test, DON'T ACCEPT IT! These are the wee-beasties that are getting you.

I'm just here for the Star Wars. (again)

Also to say that I love Facebook - so many reunions with so many friends! - and can't get too worked up about this. Others have pointed out that anyone who expects anonymity on the Web is naive.

This happens with my twitfic account all the time. One tweet mentioned that the Emperor's koi ponds had an influx of turtles, due to annoying peasants being turned into turtles by the author (a wizard), and boom, two koi enthusiasts and one landscaper specializing in koi ponds follow it. I leave them there, since it pads my follower amount.

I get how people could blame the OP on this one. Facebook, Twitter, Myspace - all very public sites. Throwing caution to the wind and common sense out the window of your speeding car as you barrel down the information superhighway at break-neck speeds is ill advised.

I'd rather be almost completely hidden from people that may want to connect with me on Facebook than to be exposed for the world to see. I think there is just an assumption by a segment of users that Facebook is "safe" and the baddies can't get to us. Every now and then it doesn't hurt to change your password (for any site) and re-check your privacy settings to make sure you aren't visible to more people than you want to be, that you aren't electing to get marketing e-mails or invites from associated 3rd parties.

When you change your status, your ads change. As an advertiser, you select the demographics for where your ads appear, including ages, sex, and status. When I got engaged, all sorts of wedding vendors started popping up. More and more companies are realizing the potential of Facebook to hit their markets. Crate and Barrel does this as well. I don't know if they can physically pull off your email address, but I know they can track who has viewed their ads and visited their pages. And if you register @ The Knot or weddingchannel.com, then your information does get shared with numerous vendors.

We recently found my wife was pregnant. She never posted anything about it, but some friends have posted "congratulations" on her wall. Since then, I've been getting ads on Facebook for pregnancy books for dads-to-be.

It seemed a little strange, but Facebook knows how to make money.

@Hooray4Zoidberg: Paranoid or not, this really comes down to the information you're putting out there and allowing to be seen. I am in NO WAY suggesting that there isn't something seriously messed up IF Pottery Barn found out this info through Facebook. However, if this person's profile and contact details are readily available to anyone, there's your first problem right there. How did they contact her in the first place unless her status and contact info was available to anyone?

FB is a great service provided you know how to use it. But letting the world see things that we normally keep private (photos of family and friends, work and education history, intimate details of our lives and relationship statuses) is just asking for trouble.

I do not think that this is the fault of the user in this situation, nor do I think that it's the fault of users in general. It's just really important to take a careful look at what kind of data you're disclosing. You DO have control over it, and just joining facebook to keep up with friends from school is not going to automatically mean you're giving full access to your personal life. You put up what you want the world to know.

Just understand that everything posted online is automatically public. You can set privacy controls, but just proceed under the assumption that things can go awry. You, facebook, or someone else you're friends with, can make a mistake and your private details can be made public. If you aren't 100% sure that you want your mom, boss, strangers or friends seeing stuff you're posting under your full name, don't post it.

@katstermonster: I assume that anything I post about myself on the World Wide Web can be found and looked at by anyone so inclined. I thought this was rather obvious to anyone that has been paying attention to the news for the last five years.

@kaceetheconsumer: That it is. Otherwise, it wouldn't exist--servers are expensive.

I wonder if this has anything to do with Facebook Beacon.

@alexawesome:

*dingdingding* We have a winner!

I think Facebook can do more to educate users on their available privacy settings, possibly even defaulting to a locked-down profile when you create a new account. That said, if you make the info public, or allow anyone other than friends see your responses, you're fair game for data warehousing.

For those of you who do not know. Facebook is going to monetize their platform by essentially being Big Brother. I heard a speech from Facebook's Chief Revenue Officer a few years back and they were already then targeting communications and marketing offerings to retailers on stuff like this. Very scary stuff. I can imagine they have done mucho work on it to make it far more sophisticated now. I would not post anything to Facebook that you don't mind being sold to the highest bidder. They will know everything about you and then use that info to literally put you in the marketing crosshairs. All your info are belong to us.