AIG's WCIA 2009 Award Mailed
We put AIG's Worst Company in American 2009 award in the mail today. Here is the congratulatory letter that accompanied their prize:
The Consumerist
101 Truman Ave
Yonkers, NY 1070370 Pine St,
New York, NY 10005Dear AIG:
Congratulations! You are the 2009 grand champion in The Consumerist's Worst Company in America contest. In NCAA-style ladder vote-off, you bested 15 other contenders. Comcast, Ticketmaster, Walmart, Citibank, Chrysler, Target, Peanut Corporation of America, HP, T-Mobile, Best Buy, Timewarner Cable, Apple, Verizon, Sprint, Home Depot, AT&T, Chase, Sears, General Motors, United Airlines, US Airways, Capital One, DirecTV and Bank of America, they all lay quivering in your wake, much like our 401(k)s.
In anointing you supreme victor, Consumerist readers cited such achievements of yours as "wrecking the whole economy," and "costing the American tax payer untold billions," and noted both your "greed" and "chutzpah." Considering how influential AIG has been in the events of the past year, I can think of no one more deserving than you to receive our prestigious Worst Company in America Award, the Golden Poo. Please consider displaying it in your booth at your next secret tradeshow.
On behalf of the entire staff at and readers of Consumerist.com, I salute you.
Sincerely,
Ben Popken
Co-Executive Editor
The Consumerist
Post a comment
Comments:
Nice!
Excellent
Did you at least send it certified w/return receipt, so we know who is responsible for bringing this to the higher ups?
The funny thing is, I read the letter in the photo before I scrolled down far enough to see the that the letter was published in full below. Can I blame that on it being Monday?
@TheStateOnDVD!_GitEmSteveDave: Also, never underestimate the efficacy of a paw print added to a letter. He's highly respected as well.
Please update us on whether you get any response from them (other than them telling you to shove that turd up your a$$).
On days like this, Ben, you must love your job.
Excellent.... thanks for the laugh on this dreary Moanday morning.
Why is the print all smudgy? Was that on purpose, or are your rollers just dirty, Ben?
Either way, I kind of like it. It's a good effect.
Did you guys purposefully leave out a 0 in the ZIP up there?
2 thumbs up... fun family entertainment!!
@Kevin Dzierwinski: Also, did Apple and Verizon merge and are now some kind of supermega cell phone/computer company called "Apple Verizon"?
Printed on nothing but the very best scrap paper your run through the copier when you think the rollers are dirty. Well played.
The smudges are a classy touch.
Well done, guys.
@Kevin Dzierwinski: That kind of stuff used to be caught back when letter writers had secretaries ... excuse me, executive assistants. Now, it's 'do it yourself and use spellcheck', which misses a lot.
@mulried: Shhh... Ben's got an advance preproduction model of the iPhone 4G, the first iPhone to be offered on Verizon. Don't tell anyone.
I loved the letter, and especially the 401k and secret tradeshow remarks. Well done!
No comma between Apple and Verizon? I don't see one in the image nor in the text copy.
For next year's award, I would be happy to provide a real stool sample. You rock, Ben!
AIG has set the bar too high.
hahaha, that was awesome!
Bravo! Congratulations to AIG on this well-deserved honor and the Consumerist and its members for picking the "best" of the "best". I would say they deserve a special additional award to worst raider of pension stock, too. Kudos to one and all!
This is one of the most amateur and awkwardly-worded letters I have ever seen posted on this site. Every sentence could be written better both in terms of grammar and voice. I would really be very disappointed if Ben Popken wrote this. Hell, I would be disappointed if an intern wrote it.
As it stands, this letter is neither funny nor poignant. Might as well have thrown the "Golden Poo" through the front office windows - at least then it would have made a statement.
ben, you're missing a "0" in the ZIP code.
MY PEN! THAT GUY TOOK MY PEN!
@Carso:
I think the thing that bothers me MOST about this letter is that this letter is supposed to be about criticising someone else for doing a terrible job. And then...we fill it with awkward sentences, typos, and missing punctuation. You could stamp a big red FAIL on the picture of the letter and it would work.
@Carso:
Agreed. The entire last sentence in the first paragraph needs to be rewritten.
If you're trying to stick it to the man, at least do it with proper grammar and without missing punctuation.
My favorite part is the little tassels on the Golden Poo pillow - they're such a nice, thoughtful touch.
I demand that captian duval money cat be included in the message
@Kevin Dzierwinski:
Perhaps they have addresses stored in a spreadsheet, and they forgot to change the ZIP field to a text field.
@DefineStatutory: Cheers to Consumerist just tossing shit out the window half fast!
Great letter - smudging and mistakes.
@Cant_stop_the_rock: @Kevin Dzierwinski: I think this letter with all mistakes just reinforces the fact to AIG that the American people are a bunch of uneducated morons.
Thanks Consumerist! : )
@Carso: Odd, I find it both funny and "poignant". Really, we're sending them a gilded stool sample, not a cease and decist letter or some other bit of legalese. It's really easy to lob criticisms at someone from the peanut gallery. I'd really love to see your suggestion of what you would find more "funny and poignant" for the winner of 'The Worst Company in America' contest.
Congratulations! You are the 2009 grand champion in The Consumerist's Worst Company in America contest. In single elimination ladder voting, you bested 15 other contenders, including Comcast, Ticketmaster, Walmart, Citibank, Chrysler, Target, Peanut Corporation of America, HP, T-Mobile, Best Buy, Time Warner Cable, Apple, Verizon, Sprint, Home Depot, AT&T, Chase, Sears, General Motors, United Airlines, US Airways, Capital One, DirecTV and Bank of America. All competitors lay quivering in your wake, much like our 401(k)s.
In declaring you supreme victor, Consumerist readers cited such achievements as "wrecking the whole economy" and "costing American taxpayers untold billions," in addition to noting your "greed" and "chutzpah." Considering how influential AIG has been in the events of the past year, I can think of no one more deserving than you to receive our prestigious Worst Company in America Award, the Golden Poo. Please consider displaying it at your next secret tradeshow.
On behalf of the staff and readership at Consumerist.com, we salute you.
Took less than two minutes. The difference between amateur and professional is a subtle but important one.
Great letter.
I would've been satisfied with just "Hey AIG, the jerk store called..."
@Carso: Oh, so it became "funny and poignant" when you re-wrote it with better grammar? Guess I missed that part, I thought you were actually going to come up with something on your own that was "funny and poignant", not just clean up the original letter.
Clearly this a case of someone having a stick up his ass, and I think it's you Carso.
Classic.