Reader Janet Butt was trying to sign up for an airline miles program when she ran into a prudish form processor that deemed her last name “illegal.”
Janet writes:
I tried to sign up for the Airmiles Reward Miles program at http://www.airmiles.ca yesterday, June 2, 2009, but could not complete the registration process due to an error. The error read, “There are illegal words in your input text”, as per the attached picture. At first, I thought that perhaps the system had a problem with the punctuation in the name of my city, St. John’s, Newfoundland (as I have had issues with this on other sites before), but after removing the period and the apostrophe, I was still unable to register. Then it hit me. My surname is Butt.
I Googled “funny surnames”, just to see whether there were other “illegal” names out there. Oddly enough, I was able to continue without error by using the last names Balls, Death, and Cockshott (all real surnames)
No “illegal words” error when I tried to sign up as “Janet Nipples”, either.
I contacted them via their feedback link and they contacted me today, saying that I could email my information to them for processing. I asked if they might fix this problem and got a reply with their generic message saying they would “forward my concerns to the appropriate department”.
We don’t know what to do here. We understand that there is a need for safeguards, lest the online world be overrun by Amanda Hugenkisses and Mike Hunts. Nonetheless, these restrictions eventually preclude people with unfortunate real names from using them, adding even more hassle to their lives.
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Hee hee. Illegal Butts.
They call me Adolph Oliver Bush.
@Tom_Servo: I had to read that one out loud, then I lol’d.
*Cue the “big butts” jokes*
@pecan 3.14159265: I am fond of them…and I always tell the truth. You other siblings must also agree.
@winshape: +1 internets for you. I am literally L-ing O L.
@larrymac: 36-24-36? Only if she’s 5’3″ *whipcrack*
@winshape: Indeed. I am an enthusiast of enormous posteriors, and I cannot prevaricate.
@winshape: My Eunectes murinus will not partake unless you offer leavened baked goods, my dear.
@pecan 3.14159265: Takes the phrase “butt of jokes” to a whole new level.
@pecan 3.14159265:
I guess it’s too much to hope her middle name is ginormous?
@pecan 3.14159265: I went to middle school with a rather rotund girl with the unfortunate name of Shannon Butts and we had to purchase gray and blue gym uniforms with our last name on the back at the beginning of the year. Hers said Shannon.
@Sparerib: And when did “butt” become an “illegal” word?
I can only imagine years of schoolteachers and prospective employees looking down, raising an eyebrow, and then looking up with vague amusement at Janet Butt. She’s had to live with that her whole life, and now this.
Get Marty McFly. You need to go convince some distant relations that they’re making a mistake.
@Unsolicited Advice:
I would agree with you, except that I know someone with the last name Butt. By no means is he a small fry in his company. In fact, he controls the entire North American and Canadian section of his multibillion dollar corporation.
@Gramin: And his subordinates giggle uncontrollably whenever they read an email from him, I promise you.
@alexcassidy: One of the reasons I never joined the military… Private Butt, Major Butt, General Butt… not exactly the kind of name that commands respect, you know?
I grew up with that name, I’ve had a few problems signing up for things online, but for the most part people tend to be more mature once you hit high school, I haven’t had anyone over 16 make fun of my name.
@wardawg: Probably because most people over 16 learn some form of self control.
At a place I used to work, this guy had the last name “Rape.” No joke. The first couple times he came into the office to ask for his paycheck/stub, before they could look it up, they’d ask him “what’s your last name?” “Rape.” Yeah, that’s a tough one.
Also, there was another guy named “Cheeseborough.” Yeah, that dude’s name was Cheeseburger.
@karmaghost: I can’t stop laughing at your post. I don’t know what’s funnier, the last name Rape or the last name Cheeseborough.
@ajlei: The photographer at my wedding to the first Mr. ex-Siren had the most unfortunate name: Rusty Enos.
My intended insisted on calling him crusty penis whenever he referred to him, and I lived in constant fear that I would somehow slip up and let that nickname slip out while talking to him directly.
@karmaghost: It’s a fairly common name. My Souther Baptist Preacher’s Last name was Rape. He told me stories about how when other ministers or church people would say his name they would say it as Rope or something else other than Rape.
@Unsolicited Advice: Years ago, my boss’s boss was named Dick Shortt. Not only was that his name, but he made sure that he said his name about 3 times every time he introduced himself just to see if the other person would react.
I once knew a girl who’s last name was Butts. It really was unfortunate. My last name was always the subject of ridicule in elementary and middle school because it sounds like “ass” and is constantly misspelled as Hass and not Haas.
Oh the perils of having a last name that is funny.
@Jessica Haas:
At least people understand the difference between your first and last name, unlike mine, which could theoretically be switched, and often is. In fact, I get called lastname firstname more often than I get called firstname lastname, even by people looking at my ID, EVEN BY POLICE OFFICERS WHO YOU’D THINK WOULD KNOW HOW TO READ AN ID FROM THEIR OWN STATE.
@Jessica Haas:
I used to date a guy whose last name was Butts. I’m SO glad I didn’t marry him.
@HogwartsAlum:
We had neighbors in my hometown named Nipple.
@Murph1908:
You sure it’s not Nippl-e?
Congrats to anyone who gets that reference.
@chris_d: You want to know my address? Or do you want to know Mr. Nipple’s address, whoever he is?
Let’s not pick on the consumer here, making her the butt of our jokes…
@AlteredBeast: Don’t be a smartass.
@winshape: Sorry, I know some people here are anal about comments.
@AlteredBeast: I don’t like to butt in, but you two are being childish.
@ryohazuki222: Can’t you all just leave it behind you?
@ScarletsWalk:
Amen. If they don’t, their problems will just rear up.
@henwy: Seriously, guys, enough of these cracks.
@gst214: Let’s get to the bottom of this.
@AlteredBeast: This entire thread is comedy gold! I can’t stop laughing!
She should just type in “(|)”
@BuddyHinton: or (_|_)
@korybing:
or (______|_______)
Well, she is from the US I assume.
@henwy: ZING.
@henwy: Yeah, Newfoundland is the 51st state, after all…
Seymore has exactly the same problem. Poor guy.
Try another language. Janet Nalga.
@Alexander: That IS unfortunate.
At least it’s not Pompiis or something. (I just made that up.)
I knew a girl who’s last name was Glasscock. She changed it when she married (at 18). I wonder if they would accept that last name?
(And no, you don’t pronounce it like it looks.)
@lilacorchid: Let me guess: Glass-sock?
@lilacorchid:
Glassco?
I mean, we have a Bruce Co-burn out there…
@shepd: @shepd: Cockburn’s also makes some tasty port and is not pronounced how it looks.
@lilacorchid: Yes, but her choice of Marge Glasscock didn’t help the situation..
The last name “Biggerstaff” has always freaked me out. If you’ve never heard of or known anyone with that last name, you’ll see what I mean when you meet someone with it.
@kaptainkk: The only one I know of is the guy that played Oliver Wood in the first two Harry Potter movies.
@kaptainkk: I met one person with that last name back in college. It used to amuse me to think of it.
Looks to be a shady operation anyway, if they can’t spell “Enrollment” right.
@youbastid: It’s OK, they’re speaking Canadian.
If I remember correctly, Janet has a sister named Bertha. (sorry Janet, but someone had to say it)
I saw a soccer player with the last name of “Fucker”, pronounced “Fuss-ker”.
I had a similar-but-not-nearly-as-hilarious problem when signing up for credit cards. My address has a “1/2″ in it, and I discovered that most credit card forms won’t accept that.
@korybing: Does .5 work? That’s what I’d do.
@korybing: Same problem here for most forms. I usually just spell out ‘and a half’ like so;
Bob Suruncle
12345 and a half Any St.
Sometown WI 54321
Sometimes I spell it differently just to see who sells my address to advertisers. Those bastards.
@LiquidGravity: Using .5 has worked on some forms, but not all. I’ve never tried writing it out before, though. I’ll do that the next time I’m having problems with it.
@LiquidGravity: If that was me, I’d try variations just to see if mail gets delayed on delivery.
12345 and a bit
12345 give or take
My personal favorite is Craven Moorehead…
@undefined: For going through such duress, they should give her a two-for-one, or an “Ugh, Double Up, Ugh Ugh” deal, if you will.
H-E-B, a huge supermarket chain in Texas, is named after Howard E Butt and is still controlled by the Butt family. I remember my friends and I snickering about that in elementary school, but I think being 7 is a valid excuse.
@KernelM:
I lived in Houston for a couple years and still snickered about it at 24. My BF liked to say “Let’s go to Heb” as if reading it as a word and not initials. I also liked how they adopted “Here Everything’s Better” as their slogan… seemed like they were trying to make people forget that the B stood for Butt.
@lisa1120: You know, they’ve been using that slogan for a while now and it wasn’t until last month that I got the reference. I always thought someone stupid in marketing had coined it despite it being so damn awkward sounding. Now I realize why they were forcing the wording. :-p
@KernelM: As regular Butt shoppers, we do the sensible Consumerist thing and get generic store brands.
“Don’t get the Doritos… Get the Butt chips instead.”
So yes, we refer to the products as Butt milk, Butt soda, Butt yogurt, and so on.
Note also that H-E-B have soda based on Doctor Pepper, called Dr B–which means it’s Doctor Butt. And they have a mascot for kids, the H-E-Buddy. That’s right, the Butt Buddy.
Wait! Was she using her debit card? If so, then that’s just the most terrible thing ever.
@Galactica: LMAO! I just read that other article before this one…that was brilliant of you!
That’s mighty cheeky of the airline to program things that way.
My friend Holden McGroyn has never had these problems
In my little Ohio town, back in 1974, we had a HUGE F’ING TORNADO. It killed 33 people. Included in these 33 were the two sons of an Indian professor at a nearby college, whose last name was ‘DIKSHIT’. My town decided to make a public memorial stone for those killed in the disaster… but luckily the parents decided to change their children’s name post-mortem to DIXIT. Life is weird sometimes.
@cortana:
I think I remember that tornado. I was just a little kid, and I was terrified its brother would come get me in Missouri.
@HogwartsAlum: It’s little sister moved to Kansas. Look out.
@cortana: I assume you mean xenia. For a town God continously tries to wipe off the map, people still move there.
@pecan 3.14159265: @winshape:
I see what you did there.
Well played sir.
I went to a friend’s bar mitzvah many years ago when I was a kid (I’m not Jewish, so it was the only one I’ve been to), and at the synagogue where it was held, I remember seeing a list of benefactors to the synagogue. Among them was the name, “Louis Gaylord.” I wonder how he’s getting along with his name?
At a government proceeding, the lawyer’s name was Mr. Schmuck (and he pronounced it like “luck”). His client’s name was (this is real folks) Donald Duck. The hearing examiner had to call a recess to stop laughing.
My very favorite High School teacher was Mrs. Dick. I bet poor Mrs. Dick would have the same problem, as would the whole Dick family.
@missdona: I had a Jr. High teacher named Mr. Dick, too. He was 6’5″, had a bowl cut, a porn ‘stache and wore short-shorts with knee socks. In 1992. He was also mean, and once suspended a kid for greeting him with “How’s it hangin’, Mr. Dick.” True story.
Okay this policy confuses me for reasons other than the obvious. You can only earn miles on tickets you use under your own name, yes? And you can’t get through the security gate (at least not without a hell of an annoying and futile hassle) without them verifying your ticket name against some form of official identification, so why would they assume people would spend the ridiculous cash on an unusable ticket with a stupid joke name on it? It seems logical, and frankly quite a lot easier just to allow everything.
…so why would they assume people would spend the ridiculous cash on an unusable ticket with a stupid joke name on it?
@Teira: This.
Why are they even worried about it?
It seems logical, and frankly quite a lot easier just to allow everything.
That could be said for the name field for most forms. Every few months there’s a story about someone having trouble with some company because their validation rules are stupid.
Aww, Mike Hunt. You will haunt me forever. What with my memories of tending bar near the Culinary in upstate NY… my sweet, naive self being taken in by the seemingly innocuous request…
… yelling out at the TOP of my lungs “IS MIKE HUNT HERE”? The second it hits your lips, you know… but are unable to stop.
Damn you, Mike Hunt. You have always been more trouble than I could imagine.
@labeled:
Kid in my school named Mike Hunt. Seriously.
@HogwartsAlum: That is… Not.Right.
Yes, that’s right, I broke out the effed up punctuation-as-emphasis.
Not.Right.
@labeled: I went to school (at various times) with John Thomas and Peter Wang.
She and I should be friends. My maiden name is White, and more than once I received airline tickets (back in the olden days before e-tickets) with my last name spelled “Whipe”.
I’ve known more than one Butt, actually. It doesn’t seem so weird, but I guess auto-puter-systems want to head off those hordes of 13 year olds trying to sign up for airmiles..?
In another job a few years ago, I also came across the names “Titsworth” and “Bumpass”
Those are truly phenomenal.
@veg-o-matic:
Did the Bumpasses have big hound dogs?
It took nearly a year for Facebook to accept that my last name was actually “High”
Paging, Dr. Lipshitz.
If it makes Janet feel better, I know someone named Hugh Butt.
I’ve always wondered what his parents were smoking when they named him….!
Would the Pittsburgh Pirates’ player from the 1930s been able to sign up? His name was Johnny Dickshot.
(He actually changed his name TO Johnny Dickshot.)
As a person who’s real name is Hugh Jass , I can feel for this woman…
A former supervisor told me there was a lawyer that she knew whose name was Richard Wacker.
I giggled for half an hour.
Good to see their site and support still sucks. I applied for an Air Miles card about 10 years ago through their site and accidentally chose “Mrs.” instead of “Mr.”. I emailed them about it a couple of times and received no reply. I got the “Mrs.” card and didn’t use it. About a *YEAR* later, still no reply, but a “Mr.” card shows up.
Needless to say I never used either, there’s better rewards programs out there.
I’m an admin of a few sites, and one of them had a ridiculously strict censorbot. On that site (until I re-trained the bot) it used to always do stupid things like calling our ex-VP “**** Cheney”… (Then again, maybe it WASN’T so dumb.)
She must have been the butt of many a joke!
My landlord used to be Dr. Butt. Great guy.
My grandparents had a friend named Richard Head. Guess what they called him. Guess what they named their son?
Once upon a time, I worked for the evil Circuit City (for a long time, but that’s a different story). Anyways, one day, a co-worker and I were calling customers to come pick up their serviced products. One customer had the name of “Barbara Gorilla”.
That name is nothing. There was a baseball player by the name of Rusty Kuntz. His dad must have hated him.
[community.foxsports.com]
I once knew a guy named Mike Pee. I wonder if he’d be able to sign up.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned Archibald Butt yet. He was a distinguished US military officer, an aide to two presidents, and generally considered to be an all-around heroic guy. He died, believe it or not, in the sinking of the Titanic.
Don’t believe me? Here you go: [en.wikipedia.org]
Went out with a girl in college years ago whose last name was Virgin. I asked her if she was looking forward to marriage so she wouldn’t be a Virgin anymore….
Butt is actually a pretty common last name here in Newfoundland. In fact, if Janet is from Carbonear I think we have family in common. Small world indeed. It’s ridiculous that the Air Miles form would allow those other names but flag hers. I wonder if Mark Hiscock (accordion player for Shanneyganock) would have the same issues?
Here in NL, Butt is a very, very common name, so I almost never got teased about it growing up. I probably make more fun of it myself than anyone else! Thanks all for the concern, though. And also for providing me with a whole bunch of new jokes I can use for self-deprecation.
Cheers,
Janet (|)
The major grocery chain which has squeezed out just about everyone else here in South Texas is named after their founder’s son, Howard Edward Butt. Needless to say, at some point, they went down to H-E-B. For some reason people don’t want to ass-ociate food with butts.
My wife’s maiden name was Butt.
She had an aunt and uncle in Toronto named,
(seriously) Rosie and Harry.
I’m not kidding.
Dan.
Yes, but are they “taking it very seriously”?
This happens to me sometimes.. my first name is Cassandra.