You Had A Cat. Here Are Some Cat Ashes. Problem Solved!
How do you verify the identity of your cat after he's been cremated? Matthew has no idea if the box he received really contains Spike's cremains or the cremains of someone else's pet. His vet offered to print out a new certificate with the correct name on it, but that seems less like a "solution" than a "waste of printer ink" designed to placate without providing answers.
My 15 year old cat Spike died several weeks ago of kidney failure and I had him cremated. My mother picked up his (supposed) remains today while I was at work. The certificate that came with the remains had someone else's name on it.
I went back to the vet office (the Cat and Dog Hospital of Columbia, Maryland) and they explained that someone from the office called the cremation company (Valley Pet Cemetery in Williamsport, Maryland) and requested a last name change to "Chronister", at least that's what the cremation company told them. They presumed I got married. The vets asked around and no one knows who made the call, which is a little ridiculous.
I confronted them with the certificate, which displays a last and first name "change".
My name is Matthew and my last name starts with a W; Amanda is not my mother's name and I don't have a sister. I'm not sure if this Amanda Chronister really even exists or is the result of a computer glitch or something else. Chronister appears in the phonebook and I already spoke to someone by that name, no luck. I also messaged three searchable Amanda Chronisters on Facebook, waiting to hear back.
[For the record, we already contacted Amanda Chronister the illustrator, and it's not her cat, so please don't bother emailing her. Unless you have an illustration job to offer. -Ed.]
The vet office assured me I had my cat's remains and offered to print out another certificate with my name on it, which made me laugh. I'm not convinced, I don't know if what's in the (very nice) wooden container is my pet's ashes. I'm going to call the cremation company tomorrow and get them to figure out what the hell happened.
That's unsettling enough, but a week later the vet called Matthew and introduced new doubts about the identity of his box o' ashes.
The vet called yesterday evening and left a message to return the call, which I did this afternoon. The conversation went something like this:
- We have your pet's ashes.
Oh good, then I guess I should give back the ashes you gave me over a week ago.
- Let me talk to the office manager.*on hold*
- OK, it actually was a computer notification that we have the new paperwork for your pet, with the correct last name.
And the correct first name?
- What do you mean?
The owner's name was changed to someone I don't know, which invalidates the claim that I have my pet's remains.
- Let me talk to the office manager.*on hold*
- OK, yes, the crematory sent the right paperwork. You have your pet's remains and this is just the right certificate.
Alright I'll be there in a few minutes.So I show up with the cardboard box containing the wooden "urn" with my pet's ashes, with the old "Amanda Chronister" certificate. They hand me an envelope containing [a certificate].
We had a conversation which didn't really add anything, other than the shifting story of where the name change came from. I repeated the cremation company's claim that someone from the vet office called and requested the name change, but that no one from the vet office knows who made the call or why they would change the name to someone who wasn't even a client there. The desk worker said that no one from the office called the cremation company to make the change, that in general they don't really have any contact like that.
Really? Because my mother was told the same story, that someone from this office called and initiated the name change. That's what she was told, and that's what I was told a few hours later.
- Let me go get the office manager.*waiting in the lobby*
- OK, she's busy running medical equipment but here's a carbon copy of the pickup sheet, and this is the only document we have and it says that Spike W was picked up.
*I look at it but it has a bunch of short-hand writing*
Is there any other chain of custody documents? There was also a computer printout I saw last time I was here that had my cat's weight, condition, etc.
*looks but can't find it*
...Look, how am I supposed to put any confidence in this piece of paper? The old certificate is basically trash at this point because it's the wrong name for what you say are the right ashes. Now I have the right name, but how does this prove that these are the right remains?
- I don't know.
Now even less convinced that he was being given the full story, Matthew decided to call the cremation company to find out just exactly how the process is supposed to work. If you ever wanted to know what goes into the cremation of a pet, here ya go:
All this did was convince me to call the cremation company. I was transferred to someone who knew about my issue.
Apparently their process works like this:
- The vet office (1) notifies the cremation company (2) through a computer system that they have the body of a pet to be picked up. The cremation company sends a truck out, the truck driver (3) has an office worker sign a pickup sheet, which gets split into three carbon copies for all the parties so far.
- The pet comes to the cremation center and if there's a note for individual cremation, the pet's information (which comes from the computer system) is printed on a "toe tag" which goes with the body to its own cremation rack. The pet is cremated while the toe tag sits outside, the ashes and the tag are reunited and stay together until the remains are packaged.
- Yhe certificate, cardboard box sticker and a computer printout for the vet to go with the cardboard box are printed using the pet's information which comes from the computer system, and the toe tag is destroyed. The box comes back to the vet, they keep the computer printout, and I get the box, certificate, and remains.
Someone, either from the vet office or the cremation company must have gone in and changed the name in the computer system, because somebody, somewhere called and told someone else to change the owner's name to a person no one knows for some reason. The person I was talking to used the words "computer glitch" when we discussed how the name change happened.
I called the vet office back. They do use a computer system (so no one ever called to make the name change; another revision) to notify the cremation company that they have bodies to be picked up, and they supply the cremation company with names and pet information, but they said it was impossible that they made the change because they've never heard the name "Amanda Chronister" before.
Matthew adds that he's actually okay living with the possibility that he may not have his cat's ashes. He'd just like an honest, straightforward answer at this point:
Still, its the principle of the thing, and if they claim that these are my pets ashes and can't back up that claim, I'll call them out on it and want to know the truth. I might not have my pet's ashes, and at this point, I think I'm okay with that.
But then they would be lying to me, and I won't accept that.
He says his vet is withholding payment to the crematorium while they investigate.
(Photo: fischerhuder)
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Comments:
I've heard of this happening with human remains more than a few times around my area.
"we're absolutely sure these are your cats ashes."
"There are cigarette butts in here!"
"Are you sure your cat didn't die of lung cancer?"
It's like a person, only you don't have to deal with nagging, having "headaches", and deciding which movie to watch together. Also, they're happy to see you no matter how bad your day was.
I saw this on Something Awful's forums last week. It's good to know he's getting some answers, but it's too bad that he still doesn't know whether or not they're his cat's ashes.
There does appear to be an Amanda K. Chronister living in the area.... Startling coincidence!
Something about this page is busted. I can only see the righthand side of comments, the left hand side goes off the screen.
Looks OK on other COnsumerist stories...did someone stick a "no break" tag where they shouldn't have?
So, really, what's the difference? The cat is gone. Having the correct ashes (or any ashes at all, for that matter) shouldn't have any impact on whether or not Matthew can mourn the loss of his pet, unless his mourning process involves some sort of weird occult ritual.
Seriously, what difference does it make?
Uh Consumerist? Pardon if I'm spelling some things incorrectly, but the screen on this particular post is skewy. I can only see part of the comment boxes (the left side is cut off) and while the post itself is fine, the comment boxes are all cut off on the left side, starting jusst at the avatar icon. If you help me, in the tradition of this post, I will give you a cheeseburger.
@dave_coder: They're good company and generally amusing, and they're warm and soft, sort-of like clean laundry.
It does seem like as more Americans spend more on their pets, there are more and more scammy/shady businesses out to exploit people's love for their animals. And that's just low, using love to scam people.
I didn't want my cat's ashes back (what on earth would I do with them?), but I'd be pretty freaking pissed if after the death of my companion animal, some asshole decided to rub salt in the wound like this.
To add ot the fun, I can see all the comments, but they're aligned super left, and the comment box is 3 lines tall and maybe 20-25 characters long at most. Huzzah!
This reminds me of a drunken joke idea I had with a friend: we would start a pet crematorium. Also, we would land a job cleaning out public barbeque grills in city parks. We'd deliver grill leavings in urns and find a secluded dumpster for the pets: win-win!
not this stupid problem again with comments....
this is way too much work to go through for an animal. just toss it in a hole in the yard like humans have been doing since time immemorial.
I'm considering injecting some radioactive tracer into my cat when it dies so that I can later verify that it's ashes are really those of my cat. Or maybe I just inject the radioactive tracer into my cat now in hopes that I can have a cat with super-feline powers.
Super-left-justified.
I am so incredibly sorry for the additional pain you are now suffering after your loss. And, I have also had 'mix-ups' occur with pet cremains, which has led me to accept that the ashes are at least a beloved companion animal, even if not quite my beloved companion animal.
At this point, I would recommend finding an animal law attorney and asking for help. If I were barred in your state, you could have my services free of charge - not for a lawsuit, but as a way to force the involved parties to be a bit more open and honest.
And once again, I am very sorry for your loss.
@pecan 3.14159265: Can you email me the html of the post as it's coming through on your browser? There was an open list causing the display problem, but both yesterday and today I corrected it within minutes of going live yet the display issue persists for some readers. I want to see if there's some other problem. Thanks! chris@consumerist.com
This is bad, but it would have been worse if he had the cat's remains returned in a replica of the Stanley Cup. That would have been a cat ash trophy!
@dirithmir: Yay! Flamebait!
All I can say is that humans have sentimental attachments to a lot of things and I personally don't think it's strange to have an emotional attachment to a pet you've had for 15 years and want to have some sort of burial arrangements.
comments has gone whacky again.
@Eyebrows McGee (popping ~May 29): I had my cat cremated last year, but mostly because I didn't want to just have his body tossed somewhere. I figure when I get a house someday I can bury him properly.
When you have a pet cremated, you generally pay more for "private cremation", which guarantees that your pet will be cremated on it's own, and not with other animals.
Unless the op specifically paid to have that done, it probably doesn't really matter if the name was wrong...
@processfive: What difference does anything on Consumerist make? It's just products and money! Where's Roz and a banhammer?
Years ago my dawg died and since the young'ns were real partial to the dawg and 'cause the ground was froze good and solid, I had the dawg cremated.
Now the vet told me that they cremated up to a dozen or so dogs at a time so I would be getting a mix of my dog with many others. That seemed just fine since my dog was real social like in life.
I never did tell the young'ns that detail and in the following summer we spread the dowg's ashes around the forest she liked, it seemed fitting again that it was a pack of dogs.
In all seriousness folks, think of the economics. One dog cremated costs thousands, unreasonable. A group cremated together costs a small fraction of that, reasonable.
@winshape: I don't know about that. The stray calico that adopted me last year is always waiting at the door for me when I get home.
I'm sure it's those uppity purebred cats that give the rest a bad name :-).
this is why i just bury the dead corpose.
@PinkBox: I had mine cremated, but I didn't get the cremains back, just had them disposed of by the company. I couldn't really see burying him in my backyard (what if I dug them up later? ack!) and I didn't really want to deal with finding a "permanent location" I'd never visit. I thought we'd get a memorial stepping stone instead and call it a day.
@lannister80: Same here. I am typing blind right now, hah. Is Other people don't seem to be having a problem though?
href="#c12961670">dirithmir: You're a real horses ass. Congratulation, douchenozzle.
@Chris Walters: I will do so...but funny cause I can't see your email address on this post, but at least it's on the main page!
yeah, something is wrong with the comments.
Cremain mix-ups happen a whole lot with humans...there have been many crematoriums that have been caught cremating bodies together and dividing the ashes (illegal) because it saves energy costs. Maybe that's what happened here...a shady cremation. I know the correct way to determine if this is occurring is to weigh the cremains and compare them to the weight of the original body (there's a formula for how much one's cremains should weigh based on height and weight of the individual), but again, I'm not sure how that works for non-humans.
Never thought my forensics degree would come in handy for anything other than calling out CSI on how much it sucks.
@jeffbone: Our Siamese (all purebred) come when called, run to the door when we come home (they're not waiting, they're busy doing other things until we get home), and are awesome companions in general.
It all comes down to how you raise them. If you expect a cat to be uppity, it'll be uppity. If you teach your cat that you're going to blow raspberries on its stomach whenever you feel like it, it'll let you (and not claw your face off). Treat cats properly and you'll have great friends.
Came here to say what PinkBox said just above, but with (I think / hope) a little more clarification. We had a cat cremated last summer.
There were 2 choices for cremation: private or group. You get ashes back from both types, but with the private cremation you get only your pet's ashes back. With the group cremation, you get a portion of all the ashes from that session.
The price of each depended on the weight of the animal, IIRC, and the group is significantly cheaper than the private (on the order of $50 vs $150).
The OP doesn't say which type of cremation he opted for, so it's possible he was never going to get "just" his pet's ashes back if he had chosen a group cremation.
All that said, it's still painful when a beloved pet dies and no one should have to deal with the sort of runaround the OP is getting.
A similar situation happened with my dog at Banfield in Durham North Carolina. They give me another dog's ashes named Buddy with another dog's owners name on it.. then said it was a mistake and offered to reprint the information. I returned the ashes and still don't know what happened to my dogs. Good times.
At least it's a more sentimental send off with cremation. With a companion horse that dies in my part of the country, one has to call the rendering plant and watch them winch the remains onto the truck. Cash only. We try and arrange for other people to wait for the rendering truck so the owners don't have to witness the grisly scene.
@korybing: I think I am having the same problem, I can only read half of the comments. At least I hope we're having teh same problem, I can only see bits and pieces of your comment.
@winshape: My two cats come racing to see me whenever I come home, but I think they're just hoping for food. :)
There is nothing in the universe quite so soothing as a purr, though, especially on a cold winter night when the purr-factory is curled up on your feet purring away.
@Antediluvian: We had those options, as well as "cremate and dispose" which was around $20, I think, and that's what we had done.
The vet also told us there is sometimes the option for the pet to be sent to the state veterinary school for dissection and some people choose that route, to help in training more vets, but that wasn't a "collection" time and our cat didn't die of anything weird (in which case they'll save them for later).
I *might* have done that, had it been an option, particularly as this cat benefited so much from excellent veterinary care, but for some reason I actually find that a little squickier than donating a HUMAN body to science.
Why so much fuss. I cant understand the pet fixation either. To be honest I don't much care for corpses and thats for people. Your cat is gone and nothing is going to bring him back. If you want we have plenty of ash left over from last weeks BBQ.
@undefined: @Eyebrows McGee (popping ~May 29): That's true. I don't really like cats, but I love me some purring critter in my lap.
@Antediluvian: Ha ha, I'm always trying to blow raspberries on my kitty's tummy, but she's too fluffy :) I agree with you though, we've had both of our cats since they were born (they are 2 now) and they've never scratched or hissed at us, are always happy to see us, like to be held like babies, come when they're called, etc. Heck, ours even let us bathe them and trim their claws with barely any fuss! It all depends on how you raise them.
I also have a Siamese (well, a red lynx point Siamese/Ragdoll mix).
It's like a dog that meows. So, to winshape, yes, I am a dog owner, but also owner of a dog-like buggow-kitty.
(buggow is what his meow sounds like)
I just realized that my original comment made it sound like I was into bestiality. Whoops.
Wow. The crematorium seems totally unorganized.
On an unrelated note I just wanted to say that I never understood the pet fixation some people have. But then again I've never had a pet. :)