If I got one of these, I would FREAK.THE.HECK.OUT. Ha. But nice idea, yeah.

>swine flu consumer her in the privacy of her home.
Does H1N1 read this site?

Everyone in my contact list is getting them :)

You mean, *gasp*, that e-mail I got back last year saying "I gave you the clap, tough break" ....

WAS REAL!?!?!??

uh oh.

Do they have one for people who believe in neither bathing nor anti-perspirant?

They need one that says "Dude, you $%#*ing stink."

Bad idea.

First of all I think this 'swine' flu is way exaggerated. I'm sick, I have the flu but that does not stop me from going to work, going out etc...If you're so worried than YOU should stay inside. Besides we have flu season every year.

Anonymous or not, your opinion means nothing to me.

Well that's passive-agressiveness at its most annoying.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, just a polite way of saying "Stay home you disease ridden carrier of filth and pestilence, and wash your nasty little plague infested offspring every once in a while." I can't WAIT to find a reason to send one of these out. I may just target random friends of mine, and some corporate inboxes as well. Could be a good time.

@AgitatedDot: Is the swine flu over-exaggerated? Yes.

However, even with regular flu you should stay home and not go to work, go out, etc. First off, the general public has no idea what kind of flu you have, let alone that you are sick. Secondly I doubt your co-workers appreciate you bringing any kind of flu into the office and with the coverage of swine flu are being stressed out even more by any type of flu.

Basically you are just a jerk that doesn't care at all about the well being of others since you see no problem with continuing your life and spreading your sickness onto others. Yes, we have flu season every year, and guess what? If people like you stayed home until they were not sick anymore less people would be affected during that season. But please, don't let logic stop you from being who you are and letting the rest of us suffer for it.

@AgitatedDot: Of course our opinions mean nothing to you, because you're obviously self-absorbed enough to think that every one of your coworkers should call out from work because you decided you had to drag your sick ass in and expose them all.

Showing up to work sick is just plain inconsiderate of your coworkers unless: your job literally cannot spare you for the couple days you'd be out; your workplace sick plan is not adequate enough and you genuinely can't afford to miss work; or your job does not involve very much human interaction or sharing of tools or other property.

Then again, I guess we're in the same boat, seeing as how your opinion means nothing to me, yet we both felt the need to share them. How fascinating!

@Kyle: Yuppers, there goes this afternoon's productivity. I'm sending these to everyone I know.

God, these are about to be the most abused item on the internet

I just went to [inspotla.org] and sent anonymous "It's not what you brought to the party, it's what you left with." e-cards to all my friend's emails. It's going to be a fun week!

I hate it when people at work play "hero" and come in with the flu. Dude, stay home, relax, get better, don't get the rest of us sick. I rather pick up their work load than to catch whatever virus they got (usually from their children.)

@bombhand:

Sorry, but I have to agree with the OP here.

What work place do you know of that gives adequate time off for being sick? Unless your immune system is practically flawless, there's no chance in hell you're going to meet the requirements at most places of employment.

Example: my employer gives 5-7 days of sick time for the entire year. That means that you can call in sick for 5-7 days and not have any problems. So, according to your theory, staying home for a few days would be no problem, sure... unless you get sick twice in a year, in which case, oh well, you're fucked and have to then take your vacation time to cover the sick days.
Seeing as how the majority of the time I get sick is BECAUSE of my employer (plane travel, someone in the office is sick, working me to death, etc) I have little sympathy for anyone else. I have to make $$$ too, and if the employer can't give adequate time off, then blame the fucking employer.

Passive aggressive much?

@YouDidWhatNow?: I want one for people who bathe in cheap perfume. Now that is a health hazard.

@AgitatedDot: The difference between the 'regular' flu and this swine flu is that people who are elderly, have chronic diseases, etc. have the option of getting a flu shot prior to the 'regular' flu season to at least partially protect themselves. There's no such safety net available right now, so more care is needed to not spread it and potentially KILL someone who's vulnerable.

@Alexander: haha I did this so much when they first came out. i love messing with them.

@YouDidWhatNow?: The really, really disgusting people usually don't care to the point where an anonymous note would be immediately disregarded. Stronger measures are needed, but I don't know what.

@AgitatedDot: Don't be a selfish jerk. If you have the flu, stay home and get better. Any good manager will understand that it's better you stay home and recuperate than risk infecting your coworkers.

@discordance, the goddamn boss: If you want to get the editors to fix errors, email them directly with the error. Posting in the comments doesn't help them find the errors.

@Gene Gemperline: That's great if you even HAVE that option. I had terrible bronchitis about a month ago, with a hacking cough, the sweats, and a 103 fever. And I work with young kids. My manager wouldn't let me have even one day off.

Are you going to get me a new job, or pay my rent and food when I get fired? Trust me, I'm sure most of the people who are sick at work would LOVE to be at home under the covers.

@AgitatedDot:

Errr, what you have must be a cold. If you have the flu (yes, even the "regular" flu), it will most certainly stop you going out, going to work, etc. The problem is that people always whine about having "the flu" when what they mean is that they have a slight case of the sniffles and are possibly running a bit of a temperature.

@Daniel Kubik: perhaps? how about this? [www.passiveaggressivenotes.com]

@davere: I wish more people felt like you. I can't tell you how often I was made to feel like a slacker because i chose to vomit at home instead of my desk.

@trujunglist: There's a difference between your example and the attitude of the OP.

Even if you have limited sick time for work, you can still limit the rest of your public exposure.

Whereas the OP's actions are basically a giant middle finger to everyone else around them, with disregard for circumstances like people having compromised immune systens(particularly those that don't know they do).

@trujunglist: I did say that it is excusable and understandable if your office sick policy is inadequate and you can't afford the time off. But I think it's interesting that you do go on to say that one of the major causes of sickness for you is your coworkers who chose to come to work sick.

If sick people stayed home, fewer people would have to stay home sick because people would be catching it less from each other.

Draconian sick policies are unfortunate and I've spent my share of time working under them, but that doesn't reduce the responsibility of people to make the effort not to infect other people if they can reasonably afford it.

Okay, my first instinct was that these were funny (if a bit passive-aggressive), but my second thought, upon seeing the one about diabetes in pregnancy, was, "I WOULD PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE SO HARD."

I have had not one single person attempt to touch my baby belly, but OH MY GOD the random strangers who felt perfectly free to tell me I had gestational diabetes when I was around month five was UNREAL. Um, no, I'm just a very short woman with a very tall husband and a very big baby. I'm huge, I get it. It's incredibly rude for you to not just call attention to my cruise-ship-like size but to suggest to a hormonal pregnant woman that she has a serious health problem and then, every single time, to insinuate that I'm not taking good enough care of my fetus because I'm so "irresponsible" as to have gestational diabetes. PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE, I SWEAR TO GOD.

So I hope people only send these ironically to close friends with good sense of humor.

@nakedscience: That's for damn sure. A "concerned but polite friend"? Dude, anybody that sends one of these little PAN-turdlets isn't on the same planet with "polite." Politeness isn't the same thing as hiding your name to avoid consequences.

@Eyebrows McGee (popping ~May 29): I suppose I should have specified, I do not have gestational diabetes. :)

(Also that you don't get it from being "irresponsible" or eating bad food ... you get it because the body makes changes to the insulin system to ensure the growing baby gets enough glucose, and sometimes the body gets a little overenthusiastic about it.)

Also, for those of you who've not been pregnant/had a pregnant partner, at most ob/gyns, you pee in a cup EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU GO to get your urine checked for sugars to make sure they're in normal ranges and they don't need to do the more serious glucose tolerance test. Which you get about midway through the pregnancy regardless, just to be sure. So it'd be hard to NOT KNOW you were gestationally diabetic, assuming you had medical care. (And if you didn't have medical care, what are you going to do about it anyway if you ARE gestationally diabetic?)

Just being neighborly.....heheh!

@Eyebrows McGee (popping ~May 29): These people are just one of the many reasons why I'm not having kids.

The really commanding ones("Wash 'em!" "Cover it!") are just assy.

But the asshole in me wants to print out copies of the "Keep 'em home!" one and pass them out to lazy parents that are oblivious about their kids misbehaving in public.

I wish there were a "wash your damn dishes" one for roommates. But then she would probably know it was me.

@Eyebrows McGee (popping ~May 29): I had no idea there was a GD "look." The kind of things people will say/do to a pregnant woman that they wouldn't dream of doing to a non-pregnant woman is astounding. If someone put their hand on my belly uninvited, they'd get a swift kick. Why do you think it's ok to touch me just because I'm pregnant?

/listening to the stories of my 3 pregnant friends makes me want to harm people. Sorry.

@Crabby Cakes: "I had no idea there was a GD "look.""

Well, at 5 months I was freakishly huge. The baby had a growth spurt and I'm short and VERY short-torsoed, so there was nowhere for the baby to go but HUGE. :) My husband is 6'4" and the baby's taking after him size-wise. I'm 5'2". So people would ask how far along I was, I'd say "5 months" and they'd go, "OMG, I though you were 7 months, you must have GD!"

@discordance, the goddamn boss: I guess because I type consumerist, consumers union, and consumer reports many times a day, I've forgotten it's also a verb. But yeah, what @MisterE87 said: I appreciate having typos pointed out, but email will reach me quicker.

@AgitatedDot:

Oh sure. Come to work sick and cough all over the place, so I get your germs and get sick.

Thanks for nothing, chump.

@EdnaLegume:

My former supervisor once came to work after she got HIT BY A TRUCK (in her car). I was thinking, "Will you go to the emergency room before the big boss decides that death is the only acceptable excuse not to show up!"

@Eyebrows McGee (popping ~May 29):

Someone at work is pregnant and is huge and does have GD. But I wouldn't have known that unless she told me.

Huge because the baby's father is as tall as your hubby. And apparently, little Boychick is taking after him.

@Eyebrows McGee (popping ~May 29):

P.S. - you're popping the day after my birthday! :)

@HogwartsAlum: Assuming my bellyfruit reads his calendar! :D

@Eyebrows McGee (popping ~May 29):

Bellyfruit...LOL I love it!

My favorite is still Flippy McGee. ;D

What the hell?

Got diabetes? Thinking about getting pregnant?

For a second there, I thought it was a Diesel comment card.

@trujunglist: If you're so resistant that you can work while having the flu or ebola or whatever, see if your employer will let you work from home for X days.

I mean sure, most employers don't allot very many sick days mainly because it's abused. I see tons of people who count it as an extra week of vacation to be used thoughout the year.

@AgitatedDot: What's hilarious and sad is that when you lose your job from taking too much sick time, the same whiners who told you to stay home will be quick to call you a lazy ass for not having a job. This is why outside opinions are a non-factor in my decisions to go or stay home from work; there is simply no pleasing these people.

@Shoelace: Fire hoses. Lots and lots of fire hoses and gallons and gallons of water.

Your tax dollars at work.