Feeling Too Rich? Here's A Bag Of Rocks And A Jar For $25
We get that people want to buy objects that either represent or remind them of their faith. We don't get Stonemarkers, though.
For $24.99 + shipping, you get:
- an empty jar
- a bag of rocks
- a small blank notebook
The rocks serve a meditative purpose—each spiritual moment is marked by adding a rock to the jar, so that over time you build up a physical reminder of your personal journey or whatever. Fine. What doesn't make sense, though, is charging $25 (plus $7 shipping!) for a bag of rocks, a jar, and a blank notebook. By comparison, here's a jar of shiny river rocks for $6 from Crate & Barrel—although admittedly you'll have to find your own blank journal to write in.
So why is this so expensive? If you're religious and like the idea of buying faith-related items, can you imagine what you could do with the money you would save by creating your own prayer rocks? You could give more to charitable causes, and we're sure you can find some worthwhile alternatives—you know, real organizations that could use your help.
But if you really do want to pay for something like this, may I introduce my latest get rich quick scheme totally legit business enterprise: Prabbles.
Prabbles are, you guessed it, prayer pebbles. Because I use smaller rocks—aquarium gravel, in fact—they're almost certainly less secular. And they cost less to ship too, so I can pass the savings on to you!
I "invented" Prabbles as an affordable replacement to Stonemarkers, but even if you're not the religious type, they'll come in mighty handy. Use Prabbles to mark off the days since your last accident at work. Use them to count the number of times per week you eat cheese. Create a very disappointng swear jar for the kids. Keep them by the aquarium to use as emergency support gravel. You can even use them to help you count the number of stupid things you buy online out of a genuine, but possibly misdirected, desire to celebrate your beliefs.
Coming soon, Flying Spaghetti Marbles! I'll see how the Prabbles work out first.
(Thanks to James!)
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Comments:
If I had fewer ethics, I would definitely get into the business of selling religious paraphernalia. It seems like the religious love to try to rip each other off.
I like the idea of Prabbles, because I'm only a tiny bit spiritual.
@johnva: Hey, at least it's better than in the middle ages when they tried to sell you a spot in heaven.
Those wacky Christians! First they take on lions in hand to hand combat, now this.
Also my religous paraphernalia is deeper and holds more spiritual meaning then your religous paraphernalia.
@johnva: hey, i have no ethics. maybe you could just put down an initial fund with the promise of a healthy percentage-based return.
I dunno, if I can achieve everlasting life for just 25 bucks + shipping, I'm calling that a bargain !......my original plan was a life of debauchery with a classic death-bed conversion.
Wish I thought up this scam.
6 bucks is too much for rocks! Crate and Barrel shouldn't get off easy here either.
Wow, this is the most opinionated Consumerist post I've seen in a while. Meeeeeow, I like it Mr. Walters, I like it alot.
I like my faith in a variety of bright, shiny colors. Two orders of Prabbles, please!
This reminds me of the Jesus plate on late night TV (brought to you by the makers of the Obama plate). I mean, a plate? With Jesus? Do you already own all the pictures, posters and statues? At what point does a plate become instrumental to expressing your true faith?
I can pick up a bag of river rocks at a craft store for about $3 plus a jar at that same store for about $1 along with a good quality sale priced blank journal for $2. Seven bucks covers it!
I have an empty jar in my bathroom. I live in Arizona, so rocks are easy to find. 99 Cent store notebook.
There. Just spent 99 cents.
I like the idea of the Stonemarkers, but I agree that you could probably just find your own jar, rocks, and journal and do better things with your cash.
Brilliant! With a little marketing, you really can sell anything.
Phase 1: buy river rock at a few pennies a pound
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit!
Even better, I take the notebooks I get at Various conventions or career fairs.
Free Notebook.
The Atheist Community of Austin has joked about selling jars of "invisible supernatural transcendental [noun]", but like most atheists they take ethics seriously and wouldn't rip off gullible people.
A fool and his money...
Who cares what they charge? They are certainly allowed to charge whatever they want for this.
If they make money, good for them.
It is called a "Free Market"
For the spiritual yet secular humanist that enjoys non-denominational exercises in pebble tossing and Kerouac-ian calligraphy.
I suppose you could use unpolished aquarium gravel and a washed baby food jar but, well, ick. What would the neighbors say if they saw that on my table? Just because I'm spiritual doesn't mean I can't also be fabulous!
By my reading, the second amendment to the U.S. constitution guarantees the right of each and every American to possess their very own Flying Spaghetti Monster meatballs.
...The marbles still sound interesting, though. Do they come with beer?
@nakedscience -- I'm not in Arizona, so I probably have to pay for the rocks, but I possess the arcane knowledge required to make books out of nothing but scrap paper and dental floss. I usually bind books with crap already in them, though, since blank books are for weenies and, err, "Stonemakers."
Picking up river rocks down by the river. Free.
Reusing a jar I bought for some other purpose. Free.
Scrap paper like the back of envelopes I get in the mail. Free.
Spiritual revelations on the cheap? Priceless.
Just in time for Mothers Day!
@Fresh-Fest-1986: What makes you think that this is some kind of Christain thing? Perhaps it's Scientology, or some kind of mystic Judaism, or some other fashionable religion.
@pgh9fan1: Am i the only one that bought that album? Songs in the Key of Springfield? Ahh. A teenager and his money.
If putting rocks into a jar gives someone pleasure, who am I to judge? I would like to be as easily amused.
@watcher95: That doesn't mean we can't make fun of the idiots who buy this kind of stuff. I'm usually all for spending your money as you wish, but really?! REALLY? People who fall for this kind of woo are hilariously gullible.
@emona: I bought 10 of those Obama Plates with his "Confident Smile and Kind Eyes" over at buy.com to give out as gag Christmas "favors".
@winnabago:
If you go to Greenbacks (dollar store) you can get a bag of shiny rocks for like, a dollar. Get a little notebook while you're there, too. Then wash out an old mayonnaise jar and you're in business.
@jcostantino: Having said that, I wish they had more albums since there are OBVIOUSLY more songs. No one shall speak of "Simpsons Sing the Blues" ugh..
@winnabago: We bought a bag of river rocks at a craft store for a few bucks. I protested, saying that we had a YARD full of rocks; the previous owner of the house loved those river rocks.
It was explained to me that these rocks were CLEAN. Two bucks was cheaper than arguing.
@emona: The Jesus plate is intended to go on the wall of your trailer home next to the collection of all the NASCAR drivers on plates.
Next in the series is the crossmarkers. I send you a stick out of my yard because Jesus died on a cross and crosses were made out of trees. You can set the stick on your desk and use it as a reminder of your faith every time your coworkers annoy you.
*Also useful in the event of Vampire attack.
This sounds like what Joe Pesci's character did in With Honors
Time. Is. Not. Free. Full stop.
Granted, I don't think there's a job in the world where it would be cheaper to pay the $25+ instead of getting them yourself, but the misconception that doing something yourself over paying for it to be done is automatically a better deal because it's 'free' still must be addressed.
@HiPwr: ChriSTAIN! I love it!
I plan on rolling out as a Tide Pen stain remover alternative because we all know Proctor and Gamble are devil worshippers! Spilled some of that communion wine on your white blouse? Don't support devil worshippers... buy ChriSTAIN™ brand stain remover(patent pending)!
The crate and barrel $6 rocks does not include the jar. The jar is probably $25+.
@jcostantino: I said "I'm real sorry," but that didn't cut it. I started to protest, but dad said "Shut it. Get up. Mow the lawn. Do it on the double. Cuz if you don't you're in deep deep trouble!"
Troooouuuuubbbbbbbbllllllllle.
$24.99 for rocks and a jar is one thing, but $7 for shipping!? That's just plain silly!
But seriously, if there are people who spend $5k on a rock so people can know how much they are loved (or how rich they are), it wouldn't surprise me that some religious folks would shell out $25 for river stones to show how much more spiritual or pious they are than the neighbors.
Sure, chose the easy target and make fun of Christians. Why not go after a real challenge and make fun of those who feel it is their duty to travel to a country in the Middle East just to walk around a large rock?
@emona: I never got the whole "commemorative plate" thing. But I had a friend who's parents ran one of those knick knack stores in a shopping mall. You know the kind of store - they sell "stuff". Things that you hang on your wall or put on a mantle or shelf somewhere. So you can look at it.
They apparently sold a ton of commemorative plates. And a ton of other stuff, too. Enough to live in a wealthy suburb and put two kids through college at least.
I never saw a single thing I wanted in that store. Including the Star Trek original series plates.
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star? We do!
Who holds back the electric car? We do!