Better this than a fee to check no bags like they probably want to do. At this point, they should just employ a bouncer at every gate that turns each person upside down and empty their pockets/wallets before boarding.

I did not fly anywhere today. That was also free.

Just wait, soon they will be advertising
Seats-FREE!
Little light over your sear - FREE!
But I still expect a price guide to go next to the flight attendant button.

Be honest... you only got that deal because of some coupon code you found on the interwebs.

@Chmeeee:

I drove to lunch today. Cost of airfare: zero dollars.

@PittDragon: According to the airlines, that is what they used to do. But instead of raising prices, they started this fee per bag nonsense.

That's hilarious. Nice post.

You better check your(luggage)self before you wreck your(budget)self.

That is basically how Delta can tell people there is a fee for checking bags (you would be surprised at how many people don't know there is a fee for a checked bag). If checking 0 bags is free, then checking 1 bag must cost something, 2 bags, etc.

I personally think they should really put the amount under the number of bags (1=$15, 2=$40 or whatever it is).

/I actually think they need to get rid of the bag fee. Now it is almost impossible to find overhead space on a fill flight because everyone brings two bigger carry on bags (that usually don't fit under the seat) because they don't want to pay the fee to check one full sized bag.

Oh man you blew it.
They're going to start charging people now.
Quick, take your flight and remember ......... Delta prefers American Express for your beverage and snack purchases.

Kind of along the same lines as when cell phones first came out (I think they still do this, but I gave up caring), it used to bother me that they'd say you get xxx minutes for FREE with your plan! Well no... I'm paying a monthly fee for those FREE minutes.

@12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich: On the other hand, they could say "0 bags: $0". Saying "Free" does make it sound like they think that they're offering you something for free.

Eventually it'll be cheaper to just walk onto the plane with no luggage or bags of any kind and buy clothing & toiletries at your destination.

@redskull: Or you could wear everything you plan to wear for your trip that day... The layered look to the extreme.

Shhhhhh! Now they've got another place where they can raises fees!

basically, the airlines are working towards having you forget there was a time that checking bags was free. Because then you won't complain about it as if it was the case. Right? If bags had cost something to check from the very beginning, then what would we have to complain about?

@12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich: People are such giant pricks about this, and the airline could simply remedy this by removing the fee for one checked bag and then charging more for airline tickets- although I feel that this would actually decrease the revenue for flights because people only buy tickets based on the listed cost of the flight and always choose the cheapest one.

So, I guess it just sucks all around. What do you do as a flyer? Do you just add $10 to the cost of a flight in your head? Personally, I picked up a bag and you can buy the Patagonia MLC (Maximum Legal Carry-On) for about $160 on sale. You don't end up being one of those assholes who brings a bag that can't fit, and the bag pays for itself (if you aren't reimbursed for expenses) in about 8 flights.

How soon until they start charging a fee for getting you to your destination without crashing? Of course, it's fully refundable if you survive the crash, and they'll have all kinds of fine print on what constitutes a "crash".

@William Brinkman: "I picked up a bag and you can buy the Patagonia MLC (Maximum Legal Carry-On) for about $160 on sale"

$160? Really? Yes, because everyone can just drop $160 on a damn bag like it's no big deal\.

And yet Non-revs get free checked bags. Interesting how that works, eh?

@takes_so_little: If you call to tell them you have no bags to check, they'll probably charge you for that...

@Redskull "Eventually it'll be cheaper to just walk onto the plane with no luggage or bags of any kind and buy clothing & toiletries at your destination."

It's almost true. I gave up on checked luggage at least 6 years ago, after learning too many time that there are 2 kinds of luggage - carry on and lost - and I stopped checking bags. I wear a Scott eVest - that's good for a lot of personal items, a change of socks and underwear and so forth, I carry a rolling cart that's compact and easily under-seat stowed - and that's it. If I need more, for the $50 or $100 they would charge I can either ship the stuff to my destination overnight via Fedex or buy it when I get where I'm going. But all in all, I don't fly much anymore for trips I can drive in 5 hours or less, just to avoid the unremitting hell that is air travel.

@Martin Focazio: I've got a series of thick art books that feature ads from each decade. It's interesting to look at airline ads from the 1950s and 1960s. I'm not sure how the ads stacked up to real life, but they portray air travel as luxurious and fun. These days air travel is worse than riding a Greyhound bus.

Not crashing the plane and letting you live is also free.

Oh wait, getting something over the wire. Now that's $50. But if you die, your family is charged nothing.

Clarity in pricing is all I want. I want to know my total cost to be transported from point A to B and I want to be able to compare prices. Of course, this goes against the very thing the airlines want because transportation is a commodity and people want to travel the cheapest way possible. This is also why the pricing structure is impossible to figure out: price has no relationship to cost. It's all based on maximizing the revenue and forcing passengers to pay for convenience rather than actual transportation.

I guess I should be grateful for all the "free" things I don't get every day.

@Martin Focazio: AMEN!

That's actually a lot less than what most airlines charge you for nothing. Lucky!

I'm still waiting for them to insert credit-card-only operated oxygen dispensers in the ceiling of the cabin.

@aftercancer:

Actually, they are installing card readers next to the little light. It's going to be a dollar and hour to use the little light.

@Chmeeee: Man, who did you not fly with for free? Just today I didn't fly with US Air and I got hit with a $30 "Non-passenger" fee. :(

@12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich: I've actually been wondering what happens when the overhead gets full now that they've instituted all these checked bag fees. If I'm forced to gate-check a bag because I have the misfortune of being in the last boarding group, are they gonna make me pay for it?

@Martin Focazio: What do you do with the stuff you bought when it's time to go home? Do you check it, or ship it home, or throw it out? This is the only problem that keeps me from doing this myself, so I'm honestly curious.

@DoubleEcho: If the plane crashes, the non-survivors are charged for shipping a cadaver on the return fare ... and then fined for not using the return fare.

@nakedscience: I guess someone who flies one a year wouldn't have to worry about piling baggage fees, and a person who does fly a lot can justify it. Plus, do you know how much good luggage actually costs?

Thanks though for the big whine about OMG THINGS ARE EXPENSIVE.

@wickedpixel: Yes, they can. People are complete dicks about it.

TBH, if your bag can't fit in perpendicular on a large flight (regional jets are smaller and most things have to go in parallel) they should take it off the plane and force you to check it. I see people all the time take up 1/3rd of the overhead because they're so damn cheap (pay the fee or buy the correct bag) or pack too much and the rest suffer. IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS A SURPRISE EITHER, LIKE EVERYBODY FEIGNS. If your bag didn't fit on the outgoing flight, it's sure as hell not going to fit on the return flight!

@kbarrett: That's brilliant! Deliciouslly evil brilliant, but still brilliant. Hopefully noone from Delta is reading this...

@William Brinkman:

I think he's talking about when you have a legal sized bag but because you boarded the plane in the last group, all the overhead space is used up. In that case, they have no right to force you to pay to check a legal carry on.

@joe18521: They've done it to a friend of mine, but he's a pushover and really passive. I certainly would not have let them do it to me and I chided him for letting an airline do that.

I was more trying to make a point that this happens because jackasses insist on using luggage that does not fit in the carry-on requirements and then put their bags in parallel with the bin.

@col1999: He probably doesn't buy stuff domestically, realizing that nobody wants a crappy snow-globe or tee-shirt.

I flew Quantas Air in January and got as much free beer as I wanted. And around 40 on-demand movies, 40+ TV shows, and hundreds of music CDs.

The plane ticket, however, did cost roughly $1000. And I did leave the plane with a swollen foot since the seating was so crammed in economy. But hey, plenty of beer.

@VOIDMunashii: Shortly thereafter, all flashlights, booklights, and any other source of light will be deemed a "security risk" by the TSA.

@William Brinkman: I think he was referring to buying socks/toiletries/etc at your destination.

@Coles_Law: I read it again and he certainly was. I misunderstood. TBH, you can get away with two pairs of wool socks indefinitely. Wash one at night, wear the other. You can even wear them a second day in a pinch, and that's why they're $15 a pair.

For anything else, I imagine it's an easy call to throw out.

@Kimaroo: They'd probably make you take it all off at the security checkpoint, though. I was trying to pack light once during the winter and decided to fly in layers. So I was wearing a tank top, covered with a shirt, over which I had a button down shirt, a light fleece zip-up jacket, and my winter coat. I was asked to remove everything but the shirt and tank top. (And my pants. Heh.)

@Hil-fish: Well, of course, you talked to a live person.

@Scoobatz: me, too!
Not winning the lottery: $0
Not dating George Clooney: $0
My dreams of winning the lottery while dating George Clooney: Priceless.

Some things money just can't not buy! For everything else, there's my imagination.

This might seem funny or silly. But it's just a simple computer programming snippet that translates a zero value into a display string of "free". It's probably generically done for all amounts. It's better than a longer string of "no charge" because too many characters can mess up the formatting of these boxes when webmasters (on almost all corporation web sites) don't follow web standards ... and end up with text flowing out of boxes and overlapping other text and stuff, messing up the page.

Nothing of real interest here. Move along.

@wickedpixel: On our last Delta flight, before we even boarded, they made an announcement at the gate that anyone who wanted to could check a carry-on bag to the final destination for free since the flight was full and they were anticipating an overhead bin shortage.

@redskull: Luxurious, yes.

But then I would be required to wear a "daytime hat" as well as elbow length gloves..