Checking Yo Self Is A Way To Wreck Yo Self
Had the whole rapper/actor thing not worked out for Ice Cube, he could have gone into personal finance counseling. He clearly had a grasp on credit card principles when he penned the 1993 hit Check Yo Self, which seems to refer to those "courtesy checks" credit card companies bombard customers with, hoping you'll use them to write yourself costly cash advances.
It's tempting to dash off a quick check for a quick infusion of Benjamins, but beware of the ludicrously high interest rates that come with the seemingly easy money.
I got a letter from Chase today begging me to cut myself a check or three for a "low promotional 0.99% APR" until my November statement opening date. What followed was a diminutive little asterisk that led to some telling fine print: A 3 percent transaction fee applies, with a minimum of $5 and no maximum, and if all of the advance isn't paid off by November, the balance shifts to the standard astronomical APR.
The pitch letter asked me to kindly ignore the financial realities in order to "take a tropical vacation, get a new computer, spruce up the kitchen, make a down payment on a car, buy a new couch" or, what seemed most appealing, "do whatever you choose."
But because I listened to Ice Cube, who so wisely rapped in the voice of a Chase courtesy check:
You betta check yo self fo you wreck yo self
Cause I'm bad for your health
I come real stealth
Droppin' bombs on ya moms, f*ck car alarms
I held off. Don't need Chase coming real stealth, and I'd like my moms unbombed, thank you very much.
(Photo:Vancouver Sun)
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Ah, vintage Ice Cube, back before he stared in family films.
@discordance, the goddamn boss: Apparently, not too legit to quit.
And now, I'm going to go hurt myself for having written that awful pun.
That first line should be probably be:
You betta check yo self 'fo (not for) you wreck yo self
You know, "'fo" like "before"? You don't want to anger Ice Cube by making him sound like Shakespeare, for he'll come real stealth and jack you up if you do.
Every time I get those courtesy checks I think to myself 2 things:
1) Great! My credit card company is trying to make it easier for thieves to steal money from me AND charge me interest on it.
and
2) Great! Now I can test to see if my shredder still works!
Oh those? I thought we were supposed to tear them up into tiny pieces and send them back in the return envelopes. That's what I've been doing.
@ADismalScience: It seems like more like a Pyrrhic victory no matter how you want to look at it.
It's like: I can't afford this oral surgery, but If I sell my right foot I can...especially if I send a toe from my left foot for the next 5 months.
First thing I do when I get those @#$@#$ courtesy checks is to fire up the shredder...
Remember way back when Ice Cube would scare white people?
This post can't be doing much for his already waning street-cred.
Cash advances are not very Gangsta'...
That track is like an almanac for living, he even offers advice on how not to get a colonoscopy.
Not quite so simple - the key question is: "what are the terms?" Clearly, in your case, paying 5% up front and then a 0.99% rate doesn't make sense (if you pay it off in November, it's about an 11% APR on the money).
If you have the deal I got offered a couple years back, of no upfront fee and 2.99% for the life of the balance, and you have student loans with 5% rates, then it's actually a pretty good deal.
@discordance, the goddamn boss: Yeah, somehow he's gone from hardcore rapper to becoming the new Dean Jones.
@snowburnt: I get these semi-regularly from BofA and Capital One.
It's gotten to the point that I can recognize them and chuck them in the shredder without even needing to open the envelope.
@discordance, the goddamn boss: Not trying to be a grammar nut, but how hilarious would it be if, for some reason, Ice Cube did just show up in random family films and just stared. Creepily. And then was gone.
Like the Watcher from Fringe, but way more ridiculous.
I dunno. It struck me as hilarious.
For awhile these checks to me seemed to disappear. Now they're back with a vengeance.
The only time I ever used them was when I had to pay quarterly estimated income tax to the IRS. For 3 yrs they showed up like clockwork. I'd make the payment and then pay off the credit card the following month after my clients paid. Never paid interest or fees at the time. They were an actual benefit to my cash flow.
Always read the fine print on those things. Some are good. Most are awful.
Whatever retribution you choose, Phil, just remember his other words: no Vaseline.
@You Cannot Untoast: that's like the mailman in that Wayans brother's movie "Don't Be a Menace while drinking gin and juice in da hood". He'd just pop out of no where and scream "LESSON!"
You can always contact your CC company and request that they no longer mail you any "courtesy checks." I did so and have never received a single one again. :)
@Real Cheese Flavor: Mine's sneaky and puts them in with the statements.
I worked in a credit union for a bit and we had some fraud issues come up from people stealing these checks.
This is the best post ever! Not just because Ice Cube is awesome: Phil may have found a way to make being responsible for your finances comprehensible to the younger people who still don't have a proper education on this subject. Not all, but some.
I would receive these from USAA. They had no transaction fees and based on that we moved the remaining $5k of our car loan to our credit card and managed to pay it off before the balance switched back to the regular interest rate. In the end it saved us a boatload as the interest on the loan was 13%.
Cash advances are desperation-only from my perspective. But if you can afford to make the payments and really want that tropical vacation, hey, go for it. Like Ice Cube says, check your damn self - I'm not going to do it for you.