There’s this new towel technology that Steve here is showing off, and it’s got us pretty impressed. We may have finally found something to replace all of our ShamWows.
There’s some slight PG language, so if you work as a Curse Guard at a bible camp, do not watch.
Consumer Reports tested the ShamWow last month and found out (surprise!) it’s not necessarily the super product Vince says it is. You can watch that video here—and there’s absolutely no cursing involved.
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Needs a hooker joke to top it off.
@Jonbo298: I guess his nuts just aren’t that lovable.
I wonder if they accept cash on delivery as a form of payment…
But will you love Steve’s nuts?
It’s a friggin chamois. Anyone who expected a miracle deserves to get punched like a hooker.
@WiglyWorm:
No its not…Its a chamois and towel and it works wet or dry. Were you not aware that it is used by Olympic Divers? Were you unaware that you can use it in the house, the boat, the car or the RV? Were you aware that it does not drip?
You, obviously, have no idea about the topic at hand!
Oh my God! It will make you say “Wow” everytime.
@WiglyWorm: +1 on the “punched like a hooker”
@WiglyWorm: So, how many sleaze women have you beat up lately?
@Con Sumer Zealot: As many “sleaze women” as need beating up, duh.
Yeah, but how will I save $20 a month if I use paper towels? I need to save up an extra $500 in addition to the $1000 I already have for bail.
@HasPonies!Envy_GitEmSteveDave:
Which brings me to another point I’ve always hated about those commercials. Who the HELL uses $20 worth of paper towels in a month?
You use two of these?! Seriously?!
@WiglyWorm: Good point. Maybe the Octomom uses that many, but normal people sure don’t.
@Cogito Ergo Bibo: What about Jon and Kate? I’m sick of all this Octomom crop.
@HasPonies!Envy_GitEmSteveDave:
So am I. And it’s spreading.
I saw online the other day that Mel Gibson’s gf was pregnant and he was calling himself the “Octodad” because he already has seven kids with his soon-to-be-ex wife. I clicked on the picture and OMG his girlfriend LOOKS like the Octomom. It freaked me out completely.
@HogwartsAlum: Actually he called himself “OctoMel”
@CFinWV: I forget where I saw it, but they clowned him for making fun of her lips, by showing a pic of HIS girlfriend’s lips, which looked exactly like Octomom’s lol
@WiglyWorm: Well, at “12 2-Ply Sheets Per Roll” I think so, because according to the description I get a grand total of 96 sheets. And if my cat gets into his binging/purging stage again…I could use 196 sheets in a month.
Whoever wrote that description…wow. “One sheet keeps working.” That must be the selling point. As opposed to “One sheet won’t work anymore.” So you have to find the one that doesn’t work, weed it out, and use the one that keeps working. Duvel Moneycat Christ.
The important barometer–will it pick up a gallon of cola from the carpet AND be able to wring it back out into a glass to drink?
@catnapped: yes it will, and unlike crappy sham-wow’s, the soda will retain it’s carbonation thanks to patented micro (wood) fiber technology…
The video is funny, but the “Magic Hugs” signoff is priceless!
I had to pause it in the middle because I was laughing so hard. For some reason, I really lost it at “it’s a crapload of squares”….that just really made my day.
@pecan 3.14159265: same here. “You spilled some water? Not any more paper towels”
@pecan 3.14159265: “Holy shit, I spilled soy sauce ALL OVER THE PLACE.”
@pecan 3.14159265: Seriously, the squares got me too!
This product is amazing! But I bet they’re not as good as he says they are. I can still see the soy sauce! Fake!
Awww, I really thought the parody was going to make fun of the editing *glitch* in the real shamwow ad where the puddle of soda magically disappears before the shamwow makes contact with it! Seen here around 40 seconds in:
Nice.
And his accent sounds like “Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals”
@veg-o-matic:
You’re OH SO RIGHT my friend
You mean, absolutely no cursing except for the “holy shit, I spilled soy sauce”. Good catch!
Okay, but are paper towels made in Germany?
@xboxcrazy33: Must be. You know the Germans always make good stuff. LIKE THE HOLOCAUST!
but wait, there more…..
no more soy sauce stains for me, i’m ordering a bunch right now
But can these so-called “paper towels” wipe away hooker blood better than a ShamWow?
Hillarious.. nothing beats The Slap Chop rip though:
+ Watch video
@Skeetz: “And you got a piece of garlic mashed on a dick.”
“One shot–COCK SALAD.”
I am dying here.
A++ WOULD LOL AGAIN.
@Skeetz:
Crying…. can’t breathe. At work can’t laugh… snortling.
A+++!!! Excellent LOLER
Epic. I’m buying 2 right now.
that studio bit at the end made the whole video worth it.
+ Watch video
Shamwow is a total disappointment… ever try to dry a car with one? Absolute garbage.
I’ll take the cheapest paper towel anytime and if I want to dry a car properly I’ll use a shammy, either real or imitation.
NOTHING does a worse job than the shamwow sham.
@framitz: I bought it b/c my kid is on a swim team and I shoot all the meets for the team so I wanted stuff to dry off my kid some between races and keep stuff dry with good buffer b/c water is everywhere there. The shamwows were terrible.
I broke down and bought the towels that swimming/diving athletes use in the pool. Cost more ($20 each one) but I’ve used two of them for two seasons now and am still thrilled.