The first surprising part of this story is that the Boston Police Department has a Twitter feed. They use it to post breaking police-type information that’s useful to the public, such as roads closed due to car accidents, crime data, big arrests, etc. Sometimes they also reply to reader questions. And that is how TruTV learned that the Boston police will not hide the zombie invasion from the public.
It all started last night with a mundane “injured officer” report:
INJURED OFFICER: Officer from district 4 transported to Beth Israel Hospital, human bite to arm, suspect in custody.
Twitter user willcady used the opportunity to ask the police a burning question:
@Boston_Police if that was a zombie bite, would you tell us?
The police, setting the gold standard for government transparency, answered him:
@willcady Yes, absolutely
Keep this exchange in mind the next time someone tries to convince you that Twitter is completely useless. Customer service via Twitter can not only help solve your problems, it can get crucial information out to the public.
Boston Cops: No Lie on Zombie Attacks [Dumb as a Blog] (I learned about this via Twitter, naturally)
(Photo: ginnerobot)
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This is freaking awesome.
Until the government shuts Twitter down… “mysterious server outage” my ass.
@Shadowfire: Epic Fail-Whale?
@Shadowfire: The Fail Whale.. OF TYRANNY!
I’m more surprised that there’s a perfect picture for this post.
@katiat325: This was the runner-up, but I went with the cute girl: [www.flickr.com]
@Laura Northrup: you made the right decision. ALWAYS side with the cute girl pic.
@Laura Northrup: Which one in the picture is the cute girl?
@Laura Northrup: Yet you forgot to attribute and link the picture. WTF Consumerist.
@Laura Northrup: Was that so hard? Thank you.
Well, that’s a load off my mind.
At least we know Boston will have a fighting chance in the zombieocalypse. Forewarned is forearmed.
Despite being undead, the policewoman in the picture exceeds the regulations for officer hotness.
@CyberSkull: Y’know, I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought she was pretty hot . . .
@CyberSkull: The first thing I noticed was that she was hot. The whole “eating brains” thing might have been a deal-breaker to a younger me, but as I grow older, I’m willing to make a few sacrifices in the name of (after)life-long love.
@CyberSkull: yeah, well guaranteed you won’t keep that forearm very long if you’re in boston when it comes. that city’s a deathtrap even without braineaters running around.
on the bright side, maybe the artery will keep them distracted for a bit?
Keep in mind this is the same police department that freaked out over a couple of 8 bit cardboard cut outs with leds.
@Lincolnsbeard33: That was a drill for the robot invasion. Those weren’t bombs, nor signs. They were scouts in advance of the main force.
@Lincolnsbeard33: Which means they’ll misidentify a dog bite and cause mass panic.
@CumaeanSibyl: Oh man, if I get to miss work because of a zombie lockdown in Boston, I will be so happy.
@Anathema777: ORLY?
*knock, knock*
“who’s there?”
“bbbbrrrrraaaaAAAAAIIIIINNNNSSSS!”
@Anathema777: And all the Max Brooks fanboys will be running around willy-nilly with sharpened shovel blades… yeah, definitely stay home.
@Lincolnsbeard33:
But, dude, those were some scary ass coardboard cutouts.
Scaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrryyyyyy.
@Lincolnsbeard33: Or Moonanites. Or their own traffic counter devices.
@Lincolnsbeard33: No, the police acted in a somewhat responsible manner for finding something that could very well have been a bomb.
The media picking up the story and running with it with “BREAKING NEWS OMG TERRISM IN BOSTON!!!1111!!!1!!!1,” whipping everyone into a frenzy before anyone actually knew what the fuck was going on is what caused all the hullabaloo.
@Real Cheese Flavor: BINGO. BPD saw weird electronic devices ON A BRIDGE and called the bomb squad. That is a perfectly reasonable way of handling it. The media and Mayor Menino are the ones that flipped out about it. In fact, most of Boston didn’t even know about it until that night (I work and went to school downtown).
@Lincolnsbeard33: Number 1 in the Hood G!
Should we also assume that if Boston is ever taken over again by massive LED structures of cartoon characters, the news will break on their Twitter feed?
@supercereal: Or, by mass panic.
@supercereal: I don’t remember anyone panicking except for those that were either already on camera or wanting to be.
Thank heavens.
Yeah, fine, zombies..whatever…but will they keep reporting the RedSox scores?
@Comrade ☠GrÑrÑrÑrÑrÑrÑrÑ reporting for duty!:
Why? Is anyone listening?
@sanjsrik: Bah-dah-bing!
I seem to remember, going back to 1997, the Boston PD had a certain… LED scare.
I’d like to see Twitters from that.
@Rctdaemon: 97? do you mean 2007?
@Lincolnsbeard33: Yeah, 2007. I’m not sure where my mind was when I was commenting, but it definitely wasn’t here.
The zombies will still win, given that none of the tree-huggers in Boston own any guns. You’ve got to be armed to the teeth and ready to shoot when the zombies come. I’d love to see a zombieapocolypse here in Houston where everyone has many guns apiece.
@halcyondays: The crazy raspberry ants are gonna get to you first.
[www.techworld.com]
No guns will help you then!
@halcyondays: I see you haven’t read your zombie handbook. You’d be better off with long-reach melee weapons such as pikes or, failing that, hatchets for closer combat. If the gun owners can’t pull off head shots, they’re just wasting (a finite supply) of ammo.
Melee weapons FTW.
And then maybe we can bring back insult swordfighting afterward.
@edicius: That’s why I have a pleasant mix of firearms, swords, batons, nail guns, and a garden sprayer rigged as a flamethrower.
Worse comes to worse, I can toss my propane canister out into the middle of the pack and explode it.
I’m sure when the time comes they’ll use those highway notice signs. I believe they already come preset with the message “Zombies Ahead” these days.
@itsgene:
Sure it’s not, “Watch out for zombie heads”?
Is it just me or the zombie cop hot?
If a zombie alert system is set up via Twitter for my area I promise to overcome my Twitter apathy.
Of course they’d tell us. They already have a zombie for mayor for pete’s sake.
Boston is pretty safe from zombie invasion due to the lack of aval brains. SEND MORE PARAMEDICS
@frodolives35: +1. I love that film!
@frodolives35: Yeah, I mean what’s in or around Boston to supply brains? Oh, two of the most presitgious universities in the world? Oh, right. I forgot about those.
I have to agree with the folks above… in case of a zombie attack, twitter would be the most efficient way to find out! I hope you all have your zombie survival kits up to date and ready to go… you know… just in case.
It’s nice to see how many urgent and life-saving things are being done with Twitter. I can’t tell you how comforting it is to know that — if zombies attack in Boston — it will be announced on Twitter, and thus be relayed to Blackberries and iPhones all over the world.
Finally, I can sleep much better tonight.
Seriously … when I saw the headline, I’d wondered if there was something going on in Boston that makes its citizens think monsters are lurking in Beantown. Almost two months ago there had been a serious vampire scare at the famous Boston Latin School, so serious that its headmaster had to issue an announcement that there were no vampires there.
Really. That’s not sarcasm. It happened. See [www.agnostic-library.com] (source story [www.boston.com]).
@PsiCop: G-d, there’s so much wrong there I don’t even know where to start.
Heh, sounds like a cop. You can ask them any insane thing and they’ll answer you with a stone cold face.
Hmm…being that I don’t live in Boston, this really doesn’t help me. As I do live within 30 minutes of Detroit, its very easy to confuse a strung-out hobo with brain eating zombie scum.
Point of interest; I must find the girl in this picture, she may very well be the girl/zombie of my dreams.
And yet they continue to deny the ongoing Mooninite invasion!
It’s actually impressive to see someone w/ the PD showing a sense of humor. After the whole crazy reaction to the ATHF gag, they had a rep of being humorless pricks.
I know Ted Kennedy is immune from zombie attack, as zombies don’t desire puddin heads.
Excuse me, Senator, but you seem to have vanilla pudding leaking out of your ear.
But will the BPD alert you when the zombies march through nearby suburbs like Somerville?:
[www.wickedlocal.com]