How To Survive The Downturn If You're Obscenely Wealthy

Sure, mouthbreathing peasants can whine about the economy all they like, but they can’t even fathom the pain that we wealthy masters of the universe face in a recession.

Only we know how hard it is to tell a servant his services are no longer needed. Or feel the pangs of sickness that come with settling for carrots rather than caviar at a high-class function. Or worse yet, see that the trust fund is so low that we’re forced to patrol charity auctions for Prada. Why, it’s enough to make us weep into our handkerchiefs woven of $100 bills.

The cover story of the May 11 Forbes speaks to our difficulties, including this unfathomable anecdote about a poor sap who… hold on, give me a minute here (sob) was unable to finish building his yacht.

There’s the problem of bearing up under a different sort of adversity—when your yacht builder goes broke. A Las Vegas health care executive has paid $20 million toward completion of a 145-foot, $27 million yacht—the world’s biggest sailing catamaran—only to have Derecktor Shipyards in Bridgeport, Conn. stop work after it filed for bankruptcy last summer.

Lord knows we’ve all been there before. The story goes on to tell you how to avoid such pish posh, advising you how to protect assets, sidestep taxes and keep our toys. And the lead-in wraps up with a compelling perspective: “It’s still good to be rich.”

Which is true enough, but we all know that being rich isn’t as great as it could be when a brother can’t even get a yacht built.

Survivor’s Guide for the Affluent [Forbes, via The Awl]
(Photo: nailingjello)