I get a lot of money that is written on at work, which is sometimes amusing. My friend once got a bill that had Jefferson drawn over in highlighters to look like the Joker.

Wait, doesn't this mean you could take a hundred, rip it into 2/3 and 1/3, singe both sides and then take the 2/3 side to the bank and send the 1/3 side to the Bureau, thus turning your $100 into $200? Score!

Or even better yet, tear as much money as you can afford to be without for a short period in half.

Send half this week, send the other half next week.

Double your money!

That last line at the bottom, do I really have to do that?

For those of you suggesting slicing and dicing the bills and sending them in at various times or to various locations, you'll note that a bill's serial number appears on the left and right sides of a bill. I'm guessing, but I suspect that the Treasury dept is going to keep track of a serial number it's able to replace. If you singe too much, and they can't determinte the number, you might not get anything back.

/just trying to prevent any sort of mass currency burns or cuts.

I heard from somewhere it's illegal to deface, mutilate, destroy currency in the US. Is this true?

@Bearded Rapper: Actually, what I meant was legal tender as a whole, not just cash and coins and stuff.

If you have at least 3/4 of a bill, you can try bringing it to your bank. I was a former manager of a large east coast institution and we would routinely do this for customers. As long as 3/4 is present, and the serial numbers were legible, we could exchange it for you. However, it is the bank's discretion, and we did not take burnt, bloody, moldy, and god-knows what else people do to money. The pretty bad bills just send yourself to the information listed above.

"it's illegal to mutilate, cut, disfigure, perforate, unite or cement together a bank bill, draft, note, or evidence of debt."

I don't recall Lil' Kim ever getting in trouble for routinely cutting up $100 bills to use as decoration on her nails.

/seriously.

@CJ4:
I'm pretty sure the good folks at the BEP would notice that the serial numbers on both halves matched, at which point you would probably get a nasty letter.

Send your money to me, I'll fix it and send it back to you.

@The_IT_Crone: I guess there's a bit difference between things you could get into trouble for and things that you reliably get into trouble for.

@Sheogorath: BEP would only be getting 1/3 of the bill, and not seeing the other set of serials.

That said, there'll be a nice paper record of your BEP submission, and if they try to match those against bank currency destruction records, you might get nabbed.

You actually need more than half of the bill in order to get reimbursed, otherwise people would try to do a 2-for-1 with the treasury

@Don't take anything aaron8301 says seriously: I won't if you won't.

@Bearded Rapper: Yes. If you're suspected of mutilating or defacing money, you'll be executed without trial.

I might have some of the details wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's how it goes.

@Eldritch: IIRC, writing is ok, as long as you do not "make the bill unfit for re-circulation". I am guessing unfit would entail covering serial numbers and seals, and not just some scribblings like your phone #, wheresgeorge.com notes, etc...

I think I'll start a new company. It's called Cash4Cash. You call us, and we will send you a postage paid mailer. Just slip your dingy, mis-matched, old, stained, etc... money, and mail it to our secure processing center. In 2-7 days, our master appraisers will value what you sent us, and we will cut you a check based on their findings.

This is even a better idea than my last one, Cash4BowlingBalls.com!

how about you send in half and I'll send in the other half :) @tgrwillki:

Oh, this brings back memories (not particularly good ones, either.)

My grandmother had sent me a $50 bill for my birthday. I took my eyes off of it for just a second and, lo and behold, my then-teething puppy had the precious bill between her teeth. Thankfully, more than half of the bill was saved from the clutches of death that is my dog's mouth; we were able to get it exchanged at the bank.

@kc2gvx: You'd take a fragment of a bill but not one covered in blood? This will make my job much harder

So why haven't the Secret Service gone after her?

@Crim Law Geek: Do you think Jim just made this up?

"Under regulations issued by the Department of the Treasury, mutilated United States currency may be exchanged at face value if. . . 50% or less of a note identifiable as United States currency is present, and the method of mutilation and supporting evidence demonstrates to the satisfaction of the Treasury that the missing portions have been totally destroyed."

[www.moneyfactory.gov]

@PETAKillsKittens_GitEmSteveDave: I don't know how much my old, dusty bowling balls are worth. Can I still send them to you? :)

@TerribleDecade: She's cutting along the lines.

@TerribleDecade:

You can buy your own. Kinda expensive for wrapping paper.
[www.moneyfactory.gov]

@PETAKillsKittens_GitEmSteveDave: Still not gonna be quite as profitable as KickToTheTesticles4Gold.com. You give us your gold, we kick you in the junk. Very little in the way of expenses, plus you can then make additional money by submitting the videos to America's Funniest Home Videos since they love nutshots.

@tgrwillki: Only do this when you have 6 months spare time available to spend in jail.

Pretty amazing that the Consumerist is actually recommending mailing cash. The USPS says DO NOT mail cash, ever. You're basically SOL if anything happens to it in transit, like a postal employee keeping it. ;-)

@JoshRogan:
Mea culpa. I have read previously that it was 51%. Maybe the rules changed recently?

@tgrwillki: Yeah, that's why they have the over 50% rule. Banks won't accept the half-bills, you'd have to send it to the Bureau of engraving and printing. If you are caught handing in two halves of bills with the same codes, that's when they fine you 100 and/or send you to jail for six months.

Don't try being clever with the US government on old stuff like money, they have had over 200 years to get past the easy tricks. You have a better shot finding a new trick with the new stuff, so stick with the internet and suchlike. You probably won't see much success there either.

@huadpe: Unless I'm mistaken, last I knew you had to have at least 50% of the bill for it to be replaced. I think I read it in one of the David Feldman "Imponderables" books.

@chutch:

Make sure you paint your old, dusty bowling balls a gold color before mailing them in.

What about those machines they have where it can stretch out a penny and put weird engravings on it? You can find these at museums, tourist traps, etc...how are these legal? A penny, as far as I know, is still considered legal tender. Doesn't that count as mutilating it?

@menty666: you need to have at minimum 51% in order for them to replace it (as if you have 50% then someone else also has 50% and who do they give a new one to?) anything less and you're out of luck.

@Bearded Rapper: That used to be the case. That's been changed within the past 10 years. Now it's only illegal if it's done with the intent to commit fraud.

@TerribleDecade: That's a very good question. The uncut sheets sell for just a little more than the face value of the currency and according to BEP FAQs they are legal currency. However, the BEP sells those sheets as numismatic pieces and NOT for use as wallpaper or wrapping paper.

@krispykrink: Actually, it's not SUCH a bad idea sending it registered mail. Registered mail requires tamper evident tape. I hear it was how the hope diamond arrived at the Smithsonian.

@krispykrink: You can safely send cash via registered mail (not just plain 'ol "certified" mail--blue label, not green).

@I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.: I'm pretty sure the whole defacing money thing is about defacing it or mutilating it or changing it in such a way as to be able to pass it off for more than what it is worth. Additionally, I understand it is against the law to melt down pennies for the purpose of selling them as scrap, as the value of the zinc in a penny is worth more than a penny. Mutilating currency for art, without the intent to say, pass off a one as a 20, is not quite the same thing. Though it may be illegal, the SS is probably not focusing on guys gluing quarters together to make a belt buckle. They're more interested in guys gluing one quarter of a 20 to the end of a one, then passing the fake one off as a 20 and then taking the trimmed 20 to the bank for a replacement.

@I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.: I saw one of those machines at a museum the other day, and it had a small sign on it explaining that it's actually not illegal to do that with pennies. I paid it little mind at the time so I can't recall why exactly it's not illegal, but apparently those in the pressed penny business have got themselves covered.

I remember seeing a TV show about this several years ago. It showed how they determine the amount of money. They take each bill and put it together over a grid. When they hit more than 50%, they consider it a complete bill.

@Joe DeLorenzo: the article says that if you have less than 50% you can send it to the government. if you have more than 50%, you can send it to the bank.

Can you return a paper bill if you suspect that it has been down a stripper's panties?

@TerribleDecade: oh ha ha! Wrap gifts in money! oh ha ha! How clever, witty and novel of me! Not to mention pretentious.

My 5 year old thinks it's hilarious to tear bills in half... until he found out that was his allowance for the week and couldn't buy toys without it.

Looks like we'll be making a trip to the bank.

So in other words, take a $100 bill, measure 3/4 or 2/3 or something from the half-way point down the bill and mark it, then roll it up and make a cigar... and once you hit the mark, put it out, and bring the bill to the bank and get a new one?

AWESOME!

The rule is pretty much if you have 51%, no questions asked. If you have less, then the BEP gets involved and there may be 'questions'.

@XianZomby: That makes sense. I was in the mindset of "mutilation is mutilation" but I can see where you're coming from.