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Lucky Charms Is Promising More Than It Can Deliver

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Reader Jon thinks General Mills is overly optimistic about the efficacy of Lucky Charms' newest feature.

Attached a picture taken recently while out grocery shopping. I think General Mills is getting our kid's hopes up too far.

Agreed, Jon.

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Comments:

88
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Too bad, I could really use the ability to control time right now.

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There doing a good thing, by teaching the young people lie, and you should take everything with a grain of salt.

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NO asterisk? WOW

*time will not actually be controlled

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That doesn't even look like an hourglass. It's more like a poor man's teletubby.

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Maybe it controls the time it takes for you to get a sugar rush after eating a serving?

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Clearly the new symbol is the Gay Pride triangle, and this is part of the "gay agenda" to recruit children.


After all, what are the odds of a heterosexual leprechaun? He pratically drips fairy dust.


Someone needs to tell Pat Robertson a.s.a.p!


First Teletubbies, now this? Won't someone think about the children?

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At this rate, Lucky Charms will be all "marshmallows" and no cereal!BTW, didn't Trix taste better when it was round in the 80's?

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Not since "The Never-Ending Story" have I seen such a blatant case of false advertising!

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@FuryOfFirestorm: I don't know how it tastes. My parents only bought cheerios and rice crispies. If I had Lucky Charms or Trix, it was at a friend's home and I don't even remember if my friends had them either.

Maybe I should buy a box of each to see what they taste like?

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Ditto that Fury, too many marshmellows is just killing the taste. The marshmellows are supposed to compliment the rest of the cereal, not replace it. Otherwise I would just dump more sugar in my coke-a-cola and swig it down.

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@hypochondriac: I was going to comment on your grammar, and decided maybe your first language isn't English. I hope.

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ya, we all know the calcium is only (with milk) what are they thinking.

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I'm getting distracted by the T-Rex in the background that's about to devour Lucky.

I'm confused about what they're trying to say here: Control time with this marshmallow and get eaten by a dinosaur?

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What would a leprechaun have to do with stopping time? And what's up with that dragon in the back?!!? What are they trying to market, a cartoon series? Or just simple silliness

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Does the "good source of Calcium & Vitamin D" banner refer to the cereal, or the milk you pour on it?

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I don't know what you guys are talking about. Personally, when I eat enough sugary cereal, I can feel time slow down.

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@FuryOfFirestorm: The best cereal in the 80's was Teddy Grahams cereal, preferably the chocolate flavor. Was like eating chocolate cookies, and when you poured the milk in it almost immediately turned into this chocolate 'goop' stuff.. ahh man I miss that cereal so much.. I used to eat at least 3 bowls a day

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@nybiker: Lucky Charms was my favorite cereal when I was a kid. It DOES taste different now, for a lot of reasons, including a lot more marshmellows.


It also is sweetened with HFCS, rather than sugar. If you think that makes no difference in taste (besides lots of other health problems), read some of the consumerist comments on Coke (with HFCS) vs. Mexican or Kosher (made with sugar) Coke

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I disagree.


I was successfully able to control time this morning. I noticed that when I had finished eating my bowl of sugary goodness it was exactly eight minutes later than when I began.


How's that?

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You all really suck. A company finally comes out with a product that perfectly satisfies my need for whimsy and excitement and you flippin' killjoys crap all over it.

I'm buying this now. I will stop time and I will play horrible jokes on all of you.

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@Radi0logy: gRaMmaR nAzi !

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@grapedog: I had a friend do that to me in high school. Talk about undrinkable.

Also, do not add splenda to a carbonated beverage. I plaid off my boss's ego with the aforementioned double sweet coke and he actually poured a packet of splenda into his diet coke. Just as good and mentos :).

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I am just upset not every box comes with Lego's. ::check out the box to the right::

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@Radi0logy: or perhaps it's a typo and you are a grammar nazi?

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Lucky: "They found me Lucky Charms. I don't know how, but they found me Lucky Charms! Run for it, Marty!"

Now it makes sense that McFly is an Irish name.

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Their press release words it as 'giving Lucky' the power to control time.

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I knew I always had a fondness for the Lucky Charms and this is why.


I wonder how many box tops or UPC codes you have to send in to control time? I know I would personally go crazy waiting the 4-8 weeks processing and delivery time to get that promo giveaway.


I can see the fine print now:
*Ability to control time only refers to travelling forward in time at normal speed.
OR
*Flux capacitor not included. General Mills assumes no liability for issues resulting from grandfather paradox or malicious tampering with timelines.

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@SkokieGuy: I guess I'm the only one who preferred the marshmellows?

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@LegoMan322:

the kids went back in time and stole all the lego cars from them....

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Won't someone think of the children!!!

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Of course it controls time! You sit it down, watch the sand run out and suddenly you're 3 minutes into the future. They just need a disclaimer telling you that the time control only goes one way.

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@pecan 3.14159265: OH NOES---THE LEPRECHAUN IS GAY?!?!?

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@pecan 3.14159265: Absolutely not! You may just be one of the few willing to admit it in our "oh, that's bad for you" culture. If wishes were granted, we'd have been eating Lucky Charms comprised entirely of marshmallows since 1987.

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hrmph! using an hourglass to control time... that's just silly. everyone knows you just squish your eyes shut real hard and concentrate, hiro nakamura style.
i doubt any kids will be taken in by this. they watch enough tv to know better

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Ehh, I knew they were liars since the stars were not burning hot balls of Hydrogen....

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@ds: That would be Plutonium™ Lucky Charms, and you need to be careful to not eat them in a car going 88 mph. Or after 2 AM...or get them wet...

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@Rectilinear Propagation: The look in the eyes of that T-Rex seems to suggest lust more than hunger. I refer and incorporate Skokie Guy's post.

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@hypochondriac: well there's 204 mg of salt in a serving of lucky charms. So however many grains that is.

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@Terraxsu:
Who cares about waiting 4-8 weeks? Once you get your time travel thingy, you can go back 4-8 weeks and enjoy them...

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John is clearly unaware of the marshmallow's capabiity to manipule the space-time continuum.


Let's just keep this in the bowls of 8 year-olds, and out of the hands of Libyans.

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@FuryOfFirestorm: I have always thought Trix and Froot Loops were the exact same cereal, just in different shapes.

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@semanticantics: Fight against the sadness Artex!!

ARTEXXXXXX...

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@5h17h34d: Three typos in one sentence is far from being a grammar nazi, but thank you for the input!

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I don't think there are really any leprechauns in there either.

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@SkokieGuy: Thank you. I guess adding more marshmallows allows them to cut back on the expensive cereal they put in the box (sort of an indirect grocery shrink ray).

As for the HFCS, that would also keep me away from them. I already stopped buying ketchup (I don't love it enough to spend my money on the organic stuff, especially Heinz's products, since I don't buy heinz due to their naming rights on the field). And I already read the labels on most things.

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@SkokieGuy: LOL! I needed that laugh! :-P

Having been a member, I can't figure out that damn agenda, sigh.

They keep it so visible yet... hidden. *shakes head*

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@nybiker: Whole Foods has their 365-brand (store label) HFCS-free products. Including ketchup. It's not that much more than heinz and it's pretty good.