So many jokes ... can't choose ... brain exploding ...

@Eyebrows McGee (on Twitter: LPetelle): Sure, you think it's funny now. But if this were available years ago you'd still be with your high school boyfriend.

I ususually suffer from chafing dick, why the hell do I want it to go LONGER?! My god, I already have to stop for extra lube halfway through and my neighbors complain of the incessant pounding of the headboard, and don't get me started on the drywall cracking. :(

@Eyebrows McGee (on Twitter: LPetelle): I barely got through the posting, and this was after giggling about it for the past two hours. Yes, I am twelve.

@Eyebrows McGee (on Twitter: LPetelle): Well we can start off with this video again:

They're only premature in her opinion.

@Eyebrows McGee (on Twitter: LPetelle):

The spray may be able to delay your brain exploding as well.

Did this story come from someone's spam filter?

it's not premature, she's just late

6 times longer? My wife is going to be in 6 minutes of pleasure tonight!

The faster it goes, the faster I get to my sandwich.

and she said, "No!" And we had this conversation, and the words ejaculation came into the conversation, and the world 'premature' as well. And I came back with, "No, ejaculation - mature, mature ejaculation. Not premature, post-mature, veteran ejaculation! Wise, learned man ejaculation! Mature man who does the washing up-type ejaculation..." But she said, "No!" She vetoed it! She was China in the United Nations Security Council… in the United Nations Security Council Of My Virginity. And so it just didn't work! It was… fucked me off, I tell you. But she's dead now, so... No, she isn't... No, she was in L.A., in a car, with Engelbert Humperdinck, and...

Eddie Izzard. That said, I need a NAME Chris, or at least a descreet UK website. Just send me an email. It's for, uh, a friend. Yeah, that's the ticket.

I can hear the ShamWow! guy now... "we CAN do this all day! you're gonna LOVE my..."

Also, I wouldn't say "suffer" from it. I mean, my friend wouldn't say "suffers" from it. Not me. I'm good.

@KyleOrton: "But if this were available years ago you'd still be with your high school boyfriend."

Nope -- he's gay now! But maybe he'd still be with HIS high school boyfriend ...

Hurra...oh.

@Oligarch_GitEmSteveDave: Oh the sad thing is I couldn't figure out who said the quote until Engelbert Humperdinck. I will definitely be having a stand up marathon when I get home this evening!

I always wondered about these sprays and gels in the CVS Pharmacy aisle. It looks to be some novocaine or *caine ingredient that's similar to a dentist shooting a needle into your gums before a root canal. I Googled this "new" drug from GB and its the same stuff, so is it just a different concentration or combination of the same drugs?

Funny how the placebo of the drug helped out some men, but they were saying it increases from a few seconds to up to four minutes. Some guys have some horrible luck.

@Chris Walters: I spent the whole NCAA tournament giggling about "back-court penetration." Because I also am 12.

Trojan already has a product that contains a "Climax Control Lubricant."

[www.trojancondoms.com]

No cat photo with the article?

Why oh why does April 1st come only once a year.

[www.perpetualkid.com]

@Applekid: And it's HER opinion that should matter the most.

You have sex for 45 seconds without orgasming for extended periods of time THEN tell me whose opinion matters in this.

The phrase "an erection which lasts 4 hours" keeps popping up in my mind.

They have had this stuff around at least since the 50's or 60's. (Google 'delay spray' or walk into any adult products store).

The difference is simply that this will be prescription, since FDA approval is required. I can only imagine that it will be covered by insurance plans, just like Viagra.

@Corporate-Shill: Now it's 24.

@Eyebrows McGee (on Twitter: LPetelle): I don't care how old you are, that's funny right there. :D

For anyone hoping this is their ticket to night-long lovin', it should be noted that "six times longer!" means that ejaculation was delayed from 30 seconds to almost a full four minutes. You're still going to have plenty of time for late-night TV.

@honestlytoomuch: Your serious reply is attempting to force my hand in dropping my misogynistic hookers-and-blow online persona.

Very clever. A little too clever.

Now excuse me while I get in my Viper to cruise down the strip shouting loudly about producing my next film into a cell phone and how I'm desperately looking for a bright new starlet to do lines off of.

@Eyebrows McGee (on Twitter: LPetelle): We actually bought an envelope of "cock flavored" soup mix at the mexican grocery because it made us laugh so much.

I also laugh every time I pass the Nutley street exit, or use the foggy bottom or ballston metro stop

How are real estate prices in Great Britain?

@Corporate-Shill: As I have said before, there is no reason anyone should know what the word "Priapism" means unless you have either been hospitalized for it and/or a Dr./Nurse/etc...

@kmw2: That is, unless you're out like a dead weight when you're done.

@TinkishDelight: Once it gets approved, we'll ALL be having stand-up marathons!

Goodbye, baby Orajel!

@Corporate-Shill: Haha.. you said "popping up."

@KetchupCatsup_GitEmSteveDave: Jeez, I just Googled that word and while initially it sounds like fun, I can just imagine it'll be the exact opposite.

@unobservant: Sure better than IcyHot, let me tell you.

@edwardso: Then you would have trouble driving in Detroit with Exit 69 at Big Beaver Road.

I don't 'suffer' from it, much like i don't 'care' if she 'enjoys it or not'.
;)

Wait... wheres the typical image associated with the post? These are the type of posts that forces the minds at Consumerist to be creative!

@yankeespitfire: Billy Mays here!

Anbesol?

Vodka works great.

@RandomHookup: yes, yes I would

so now i can get 6 thrusts in instead of just 1?

Just in time for Mother's Day!

@Eyebrows McGee (on Twitter: LPetelle): "I guess yer sposed ta spray it on, huh?" [images.pcworld.com]

20% topographic benzocaine does the same thing and it's FDA approved.

@beyondthetech: Most of the stuff in US Pharmacies that is supposed to make a guy last longer has a numbing agent in it. I tried a Trojan Extended Pleasure condom before. It was ok at first but than after five minutes or so... it just goes numb. It was horrible. It took a good twenty minutes after removing the condom for me to feel anything again. What's the point of having "extended pleasure" when it feels like you don't even have anything down there?