ShamWow Guy Arrested For Beating Up Prostitute

Slap chop to the face! Vince Shlomi, aka the ShamWow Guy, aka You’re Gonna Love My Nuts, was “arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room,” reports the Smoking Gun.

Shlomi says the prostitute bit his tongue while kissing him, so he had to punch her to get her to let go. We guess that’s one of those things you learn in the real world, like how to survive a bear attack or how to fend off a shark. The police, however, say both of them were drunk, which sounds even more believable. The website reports that prosecutors decided not to file formal charges against either party this month.

“ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust” [The Smoking Gun] (Thanks to Maya!)

Comments

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  1. Honus says:

    Looks like he stopped having boring tuna.

  2. trashbaby says:

    oh that’s some fine comedy right there. It’s like when the “Dude, you’re getting a Dell” guy got busted for pot….but better.

    • madog says:

      @trashbaby: Except this guy went from, “last week on TV I looked 22″, to, “in this mug shot I look drunk and 65, and possibly on heroine”, in what seems as only a short period of time.

    • battra92 says:

      @trashbaby: You know what’s funny is that Steve the Dell guy is a waiter now (no jobs after the pot) and he’s sick of people calling him Steve.

      I’d find the sauce but I’m lazy now.

  3. EdithHeadsChignon says:

    The Snuggie Guy would never do something like this

  4. fordpickup says:

    Reget: the only thing Shamwow can’t soak up.

  5. Blb3303 says:

    She didden’t , Love his nuts ?

    • Cat_In_A_Hat says:

      @Blb3303: Lol that’s exactly what came to mind when I read this story. A co-worker of mine read this earlier today and I passed it on to the consumerist (thanks for posting!). What surprised me most from the article was that he is 44. The camera does wonders. :O)

  6. Antonio Rodriguez says:

    So wait, did she love his nuts, or just slap chop them?

  7. Hyman Decent says:

    The website reports that prosecutors decided not to file formal charges against either party this month.

    …but he’s out the grand (!) he claims he gave her, and she said something about suing him.

  8. Tony Sina says:

    A month ago? I thought we were gonna do this in Real Time! (que APPLAUSE sign on the set of the Jimmy Fallon show…)

  9. DrGirlfriend says:

    I always thought this guy looked like he was into sketchy shit. Yay me!

  10. DrGirlfriend says:

    “Shlomi says the prostitute bit his tongue while kissing him, so he had to punch her to get her to let go.”

    More like Chop Slap, amirite?!?!

  11. a_pink_poodle says:

    Wow did he go on a meth binging spree in the last couple of months?

  12. ceez says:

    couldnt he just hit her the shamwow instead?!

    this way it would of soaked up the blood in real time!

    LOL….TRUE comedy right there…this couldnt be scripted!!!

  13. Rask says:

    How good is the ShamWow at mopping up blood?

  14. krispykrink says:

    Hilarious that they both have hospital gowns on for the mugshots.

  15. HogwartsAlum says:

    Why does this not surprise me?

  16. litbruin says:

    Actually he paid her and started kissing her, that’s when she bit his tongue and wouldn’t let go. Then he started punching her in the face.

  17. IvoryAethalides says:

    It says Vince is 44 years old and the mug shot doesnt look like the ShamWow guy at all. Is this really accurate? Vince is 44 years old??

  18. tankertodd says:

    Sham-Wow? More like Sham-OW!

    /only took me a minute to be that clever

  19. ChChChacos says:

    Well I still support his fight against scientology.

  20. christoj879 says:

    Billy Mays has to kill a child to beat this.

  21. Mr-Mr says:

    “Are you following me camera guy?” Jackass. Billy Mays, you’re next to enter “the hall of shame.” I can’t stand this annoying infomercials clowns. And, it’s a huge list.

  22. Triterion says:

    She probably knew he was the shamwow guy and bit his lip so she could sue him for all he’s got, bitch. I still love you Vice Offer! Fight that Scientology!!

  23. Corporate-Shill says:

    I just gotta know….

    Was she hot?

  24. Con Seannery '09: Where's the screen? says:

    Nice.

  25. m-p{3} says:

    “You’re Gonna Love My Nuts”

    That’s probably what he said before the event.

  26. Bocachica says:

    That’s what you get for kissing a hooker. Or trying to.

    Nice career while it lasted, dude.

  27. JulesNoctambule says:

    The jokes write themselves with this one.

  28. LastVigilante says:

    “prosecutors decided not to file formal charges against either party this month.”

    Isn’t prostitution illegal? Are we not arresting people for that anymore? And what’s with “this month”, are they going to wait until April 1st and say “April Fools! We actually ARE going to charge you after all! TeeHee!”

    • Hyman Decent says:

      @LastVigilante: I guess to convict someone of prostitution (be it the hooker or the john), it takes more than a statement given to police. As for the assault and battery, maybe the prosecutors felt it was mutual combat.

      And I guess they mean this month as opposed to last month, when the incident and arrests took place.

  29. BeerFox says:

    “Does this ShamWow smell like chloroform to you?”

  30. darthsodomizer says:

    I guess she didn’t like his nuts.

  31. rpm773 says:

    It happened in Florida? Man, what happened to that state?

    /99.44% sarcasm.

  32. schiff says:

    The real question here is whether he used a shamWow to clean up…

  33. ChuckBlack says:

    From day one I though he looked like a coke-head.

  34. HooFoot says:

    The Church of Scientology set him up!

  35. Blueskylaw says:

    Is that an empire I hear collapsing?

  36. UlfHygieia says:

    More like SLAP CHOMP

  37. dragonpup says:

    I bet shamwow can clean up prostitute related mess, too!

  38. invisiblenemies says:

    Vince shorted her $70.

    Awesome.

  39. silver-bolt says:

    Worst part of the article is that neither the article nor the police report mention if there is any visible damage or marks on his tongue. That would have atleast protected him in a lawsuit. Hopefully the Fire-EMTs or hospital records noted that.

  40. Blueskylaw says:

    New from the makers of ShamWow and Slap Chop, the Billy Mays Bobble Head doll. (Just pay processing and handling)

  41. Frank Murphy says:

    Why am I not shocked by this?

  42. Daveinva says:

    He should have hired a German prostitute.

    Not only are they into the kinky sex, you know the Germans always make great stuff.

  43. valen says:

    ShamOw. That guy looks like he was whacked in the face by the Ugly Stick. Hopefully he still has those nuts that he loves so much. I have heard that Bubba, his cellmate, loves his nuts too.

    Let me know when he does a jail house infomercial featuring ShamWow cleaning up various crimes scenes.

  44. Canino says:

    The hooker was only $250, but there was a $750 handling charge.

    This just confirms that I would rather party with Vince than with Billy Mays.

  45. UnemployedPuke says:

    Hmmm. The hooker actually looks good. Did he get a chance to stick his sham in her wow before getting his tongue bitten off?

  46. stpauliegirl says:

    Many people complain about typos or poor writing or everything in the articles on this site, so I have to say that Mr. Walters’ article made me laugh my ass off, especially the second paragraph. Excellent humorous and informative writing, sir!

  47. cupcake_ninja says:

    Sure it wasn’t a set up by Billy Mays? ;)

  48. discounteggroll says:

    “Hi, I’m meth! Looks like we’ve met…”

  49. Peter Nincompoop says:

    Vince can’t be blamed for this one. He just thought he was taking Heath Ledger’s sloppy seconds back to his hotel room.

  50. savdavid says:

    Must have been a German hooker. You know how well they are made there!

  51. Psychosocial says:

    Good for him. POS hooker obviously deserved the beatdown. This makes him even more awesome in my book.
    GO VINCE!!!

  52. edwardso says:

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned the weird jacket he was wearing in the mug shot

  53. iantm says:

    We all know that Billy Mays is very involved in some odd circles. Some gay friends keep saying that he’s a bear. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

  54. Harrison: Why don't Facebookers need approval? says:

    “Hi it’s Vince with the Slap Ho!”

  55. Terrance Hines says:

    lol…i wonder did he try to use the shamwow to wipe up all the blood

  56. CFinWV says:

    I still think he looks like Beavis.

  57. BeFrugalNotCheap says:

    “You following me here camera guy?, now watch as I punch this hooker in the mouth”

    • gman863 says:

      @BeFrugalNotCheap:

      “…and if you wanna see more, order the video in the next 20 minutes because you know we can’t be doing this all day. Only $19.95 plus shipping and handling.”

  58. Kitteridge says:

    Wait, the ShamWow guy is straight?

  59. GreatWhiteNorth says:

    You following me Camera Guy? … guess so.

  60. plutonyum says:

    Judge: “Please state your name for the court.”

    Defendant: “BILLY MAYS HERE FOR ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON!”

  61. JGKojak says:

    Good thing he had something on him to soak up all that blood.

  62. trujunglist says:

    well shit, at least she’s pretty attractive… he could’ve pulled an eddie murphy or something…

  63. Tony Wilcoxen says:

    Do you think she was German because their good

  64. Shamwow Guy says:

    No amount of shamwows can soak up all of tha shame….
    check out [www.shamwowguy.com] to express your opinions on our boy Vince creatively!