The West Michigan Whitecaps recently unveiled their new stadium menu and gloating at the top of it is the 4489 Calorie “Fifth Third Burger.” This 1.66 pound piece of gastrointestinal wunder, named after team sponsor 5/3 Bank, costs $20 and feeds 1-4 people. If you eat it by yourself and finish it in one sitting, you get a free 5/3 tshirt. Said the team’s marketing director, “It’s something fun that people can understand.”
1.66666667 Pounds [BensBizBlog via Sports Biz]
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@undefined: @Eyebrows McGee (on Twitter: LPetelle): You can absorb a whole hell of a lot more than 800 calories at a sitting.
Go ahead and be a giant fat-filled fatty! In America we all get to make stupid self-destructive decisions.
U-S-A! U-S-A!
Oh please. This is not why the world hates us. This is not even indicative of America. Or, are you implying that most Americans eat like this? It’s a promotion, something which restaurants (or sports venues) around the world do in one way or another. It might not be a 2# burger, it might be “buy one entree get one half off,” but you get the point. Are YOU a lardass who eats like this regularly? Then why are you accusing the rest of America of it?
@tc4b: Please. Nathan’s of Coney Island holds a contest to see who can eat the most of their goddam hot dogs every Fourth of July. There is (or was) a cable TV show devoted to competitive eating. The mere existence of such a “sport” as competitive eating would piss me off if I lived in the Third World.
@HurtsSoGood: Best part of that is they call vomiting a “Reversal of Fortune”.
West Michigan Whitecaps, you can’t serve this kinda food to people. It’ll cause… death!
Anyone who eats this thing deserves all that heart disease.
@undefined: Some, like you, may see it as a harmless promotional stunt, but I’m sure there are those out there who would see it as yet another example of American excess. “Why eat a plain burger when you can have a 1.66 POUND mega-burger and smear it all over your body!”
Food like this is why hospitals are having to start making wider beds, and undertakers are making bigger coffins. And why when I went to the grocery store last weekend I could barely navigate the aisles because of all the morbidly obese people on scooters. I must have been the only person in there walking on 2 feet.
And no, for the record I am not a lardass who eats like this regularly. Make that at all. I wouldn’t touch that burger on a bet.
I mean, come on. It looks like it has a layer of sloppy-joe and a layer of nachos.
What the fuck?
Check out the Heart Attack Grill in Chandler, AZ, for a heart stopping menu.
the Bank sponsored burger is all about glutony and biting off more than you can chew
Having been to about ten whitecaps games (it’s about twenty minutes away from me) I can honestly say this is a welcome addition to their crappy food.
Seriously, really crappy food.
OK.
Most of you know that I am a conservative nutjob that thinks that places should be able to sell whatever they want as long as someone is willing to buy it, without regulation. That’s the free market. Well, sometime, something comes along that makes you want to draw the line and actually want the government to restrict the sale of something.
This may actually be that item.
Lets not forget that back in 2006 the Whitecaps had a promotion in which a helicopter dropped $1000 worth of cash onto the field with hundreds of people underneath…
It ended really well.
West Michigan Whitecaps – the former Madison Muskies.
Change the chili to chicken fillets and I’ll be flying to Michigan to get one of these things.
That is, quite simply, an amazing deal. The last time I went to a baseball game was Petco Park to see the Padres get destroyed by some other team (I don’t like baseball so I just scope for chicks mostly). I went to buy some food and it was like $8 for a tiny beer and something equally insane like $5 for a crappy hot dog. This burger is quite gigantic and could easily fill up 3 or so people, depending on how much they normally eat.
Yeah, it looks gross, but so does most of the crap at baseball stadiums (except at Wrigley).
Eww! Tomatoes and Lettuce!
disgusting.. try eating normally fat american wastes
Ewwww….gross…
Am I the only one here who really wants to eat one of these?
@Will Boncher: Yes. No reason to feel guilty about it, Michael Phelps.
Yech. I live in West Michigan (about an hour west of where the Whitecaps play), and that’s just about the nastiest thing I’ve seen.
Just a reminder, folks; keep comments on topic. Let’s not make this political. Thanks.
@tc4b: Having lived here for, well, all my life, I can safely say that, yes, a huge number of Americans are the “lardass” type that constantly eat this kind of crap with no regard for their health.
ha! a consumerist thread focused on my neck of the woods! I think I’ll go eat one and then run the 30.5 miles necessary for someone my size to burn off the 4,489 calories.
Actually I could get a free t-shirt and not have to run as far if I enter a marathon. That’s something fun that people can understand!
No wonder Michigan ranks high in the country for both obesity and depression.
Actually I saw a story recently featuring a bad one at another ballpark. It was a greasy cheeseburger served on a crispy creme doughnut sliced in two.
Either culinary wonder would mean some serious toilet time as far as i’m concerned.
What? No bacon?????
Great – leave it to the lame arse single-A ballclub in my home town to come up with this. People in West Michigan and the greater Grand Rapids area are over weight enough – they don’t need that monster to think about. And where the hell are they suppose to sit down and eat that thing? As I recall there aren’t many family seating areas at Old Kent Park (I still refuse to call it Fifth Third Park if I can at all help it). So what – you bring that thing to your seat in the bleachers or in the reserved seats and you’re going to eat it while it’s sitting on your lap?
It’s the “Bukkake Burger”! This is why sour cream DOES NOT BELONG on burgers!
In Japan, shops do this sort of thing all the time. They create some quantity of food that would be too much for 3 people to eat and then you get it free if you can eat it all. Usually, they put the picture of those who accomplish this feat on the wall of the shop. The winners are always tiny little Japanese girls.
And the people who believe Americans eat like this are wrong (even if they are Americans). These are extreme examples and most people would not eat this sort of thing. This is designed for publicity, and you can see it’s working.
milaround, just what I wanted to say. I am SO sick of this reward for eating a ton of unhealthy garbage bullcrap.
Although it does have one upside: it’s the perfect metaphor for what is wrong with America!
Does it come with Fries? …. This has gotten more nation wide attention than when the Whitecaps won the league championship.
If you ate this burger over the course of, say, a week, it would not have the same impact as eating it at once. Your body stores energy based on the amount given to it at the time of consumption, therefore eating it in one sitting will cause huge amounts of fat-storage. Concentration IS important. For example, there are certain levels of lead, arsenic and other dangerous poisons allows in the water supply because at certain levels they are not harmful. If in high enough concentrations, however, they will cause cancer, death, etc. The same goes for saturated fats. The cholesterol spike caused by this will cause permanent damage to your arteries if you live and maintain a sedentary lifestyle. Basically, if you eat this burger in one sitting, be prepared to workout 2 hrs a day for the next week or face the long-term consequences.