Bernie Madoff has been denied bail. Madoff lost his bid on Friday to be released from jail until his June sentencing for Wall Street’s largest ever investment fraud. [Reuters]

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  1. m4ximusprim3 says:

    tears.

  2. FuryOfFirestorm says:

    Nighty night, and keep your butt hole tight, Bernie!

  3. TakingItSeriously is a Technopile says:

    All I can say is “WWWWOOOOOOTTTTT”

  4. IcePirate_GitEmSteveDave says:

    I propose a 90% tax on people who bail out Bernie Madeoff! That’s one I actually endorse.

  5. ForrestWhitakersLazyEye says:

    Throw his wife in there with him, for good measure.

  6. yankeespitfire says:

    Should he even have any unfrozen funds or property available to him to use as bail?

  7. Monica Iceland says:

    I think we can all agree, this is good news.

  8. Daniel Kubik says:

    Jail? For Madoff? They should eviscerate him and auction off his flesh by the pound as collector’s items, then use the proceeds to pay restitution to his victims.

  9. eddie9999 says:

    It is harder to pull off a ponzi scheme when your currency is cigarettes.

    • cmdrsass says:

      @eddie9999: They don’t use cigarettes as currency in federal prisons any more since smoking was banned. Believe it or not, mackerel is the currency of the realm behind bars. For a fascinating discussion of Mackerel Economics see: [online.wsj.com]

  10. valthun says:

    I hope they also decide that all the money the wife has, is still his and was used as a ploy to say he is now broke. Even though his wife isn’t.

  11. RanChan03 says:

    BAWLLL

    Hello wambulance yea i have a person you need to talk to
    “hands phone to bernie and his lawyers”

  12. aftercancer says:

    Hip Hip Hooray, it’s nice to see one for the good guys sometime

  13. dresden says:

    I hope they keep him in the rapey wing.

  14. bloatboy says:

    I hope Bernie lives to 130 and never sees daylight again.

    I also hope that investigators can track down the funds and at least partially un-screw the poor bastards who trusted him.

  15. mongchacha says:

    haha…