Here’s a little bit of brilliance — a pizzeria in San Francisco has taken quotes from nasty 1 star reviews on Yelp! and make them into t-shirts for their employees to wear. We love this.
The quotes are many and varied, but apparently one of them simply says “this place sucks.” Hey, its like the old saying, “When life gives you lemons, make funny t-shirts to hide the pain.” Wait.
Anyway, we should probably do this with our comments. Anyone want to buy a “Why is this on Consumerist?” t-shirt?
The Yelp Tee: Almost More Brilliant Than Pizzeria Delfina’s Pizza [7x7 via BuzzFeed]
More From Consumerist
-
Delta Employees Dig Through Trash To Find “Daddy Shirt” Worn By 7-Year-Old’s Late Father
-
Should An Airline Be Allowed To Say Your Shirt Is Too Offensive?
-
Why A Super Bowl Loss Is Good News For Kids In Mongolia & Zambia
-
Urban Outfitters Under Fire For Maybe Sorta Promoting Underage Drinking With Sassy T-Shirts
-
Pizzeria Uno Now Offers Soups That Defy The Laws Of Physics
Hey, at least they’re being honest, right?
I will take a “it’s your own damn fault”. Or if that’s sold out, then a “everyone knows comcast sucks”.
@ThinkerTDM: How about a “STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM!”? I alone have said that about 65,000 times, so factor in all the other commenters who scream it and you’ve got a popular quote.
@SybilDisobedience: Or, how about, “Why would anybody buy a t-shirt when you can make your own?”
@dorianh49: Win!
@dorianh49: I don’t know why anybody would buy pizza in the first place, and I feel sympathy mixed with revulsion for these poor souls. Me, I make my own at home; it feeds 6 people and only costs $1.39 for the ingredients. And yes – it’s positively sublime.
@dorianh49: you win.
@SybilDisobedience: Not “Stop….”, but “Blame the victim”.
Think about it. However popular “Stop blaming the victim” is, “Blame the victim” is even more so.
@ThinkerTDM: “Why is there a photo of a cat on this post?”
@ThinkerTDM: “You *deserve* to be foreclosed on!”
@ThinkerTDM: Make mine “peoples still shop at (insert name here)“
@ThinkerTDM: I’ll take “Wh s ths n Cnsmrst? [a]“
@myotheralt: +1 for the disemvowelment shirt
@wickedpixel: I would immediately buy one, no, two “Wh s ths n Cnsmrst?” shirts.
@ThinkerTDM: “This would never have happened if you had a Mac!”
(I am guilty of this one myself, although IRL rather than on Consumerist.)
@ThinkerTDM: These are great ideas. I can see that being a hot item, Consumerist shirts. The front has the witty comment, the back has the address or the banner or something.
@Con Seannery is apparently an ADMIN…: No, the back should say “I can’t believe I read the whole thing.”
@ThinkerTDM: How about a “Go to a credit union” t-shirt?
But I definitely want a “THAT HEADLINE IS MISLEADING!” t-shirt.
@Rectilinear Propagation: And on the back: “It isn’t a problem if you pay your balance in full every month.”
@everybody: these t-shirts are awesome. where can i get me one?
& at least one should have my favorite consumerist image:
If OMG! Ponies! starts commenting. LOL
@innout3x3: Good lord, don’t say his name! It’s like Beetlejuice.
I like it.
If you’re serving up Consumerist ones I’ll take a “I don’t want to blame the OP but…”
I’d like a disemvoweled Facebooker comment t-shirt, please.
Something along the lines of “FRST! BLM TH P! CMCST/BST BY/T&T/ SCKS!!!!! [a]“
@Benguin: You win.
@Benguin: Yeah, because there aren’t non-facebook users who make comments out of pure idiocy
Maybe you should request a shirt that says “don’t post consumerist stories on your facebook wall so your little brother doesn’t join and piss everybody off”. I think that might be more appropriate.
@Chris Yantis: You’re right, regular commenters are idiots sometimes…unfortunately for your point, Facebookers are idiots almost ALWAYS.
I think it’s a good idea for companies that have a subjective component. Someone’s “pizza is too greasy” can very likely be someone else’s “just like mom used to make”. I just can’t see less subjective businesses adopting their 1 * reviews with pride. Like, I don’t know, the car mechanic that gets a 1* review for overcharging and then misdiagnosing an obvious transmission problem.
T-shirt idea:
“Why do you shop/eat/go to place XYZ when (my local) ABC place is so much better and they aren’t rude.”
How about: ‘Slow news day, huh?’
How is this actually helpful? I dont know why i dont get it
@The Gigante: It’s not helpful, per se – it’s making a humorous and snarky use of the particularly idiotic 1-star reviews present on Yelp to use as positive publicity; I do believe it’s working quite well
@ZekeSulastin: I’ve always been of the opinion that people who log onto Yelp and gripe about every damn thing at a restaurant are the kind of people who can’t be pleased anyway. Yeah, some of them have legit complaints, but most are just whiners. I mean, the pizza’s “greasy…due to the pig fat”?! What the hell? Pizza is ALWAYS greasy!
@SybilDisobedience: Um, how is a bad review on Yelp any different from a bad review on the Consumerist?
@ZekeSulastin: I think you used “per se” wrong, though if I read that wrong, you might have used it correctly.
@Con Seannery is apparently an ADMIN…: I think I wrote it badly. I was writing that the t-shirts by themselves weren’t helpful until all the publicity garnered from it came into effect.
I’ll be sure to use the phrase more exactly next time
@The Gigante: That is what you want on your shirt? I’ll take one of those, too!
Sign me up for a “Why the hell do you still shop at Sears!” shirt.
@Rachacha: hey! thats where I go once every 10 years to get my Band Saw blades!
@Rachacha: I would take two!
“You know, you should make your own dinner instead.”
I’ll pay $50 for one.
I can imagine Best Buy employees wearing “It’s your own fault for shopping at Best Buy” t-shirts.
Heh. Great idea anyway. Wear the shirt, serve pizza, let customer decide if it is right or wrong. Then customer will write a better review if that comment is indeed wrong.
This is pretty funny till they make ones like “This place gave me food poisoning” “I’ve never seen so many roaches and rat feces in my entire life.”
@hadees: No, no, those are still funny.
@hadees:
I saw a completely bogus Yelp review on a local Japanese restaurant. They had the audacity to claim that a cockroach crawled out from under the pile of ginger slices on their sushi platter.
1) I’ve been to this restaurant multiple times a year for nearly a decade and have never seen evidence of poor sanitation, let alone cockroaches in the dining area.
2) How the frak would a live insect that size make it under the ginger when the sushi chef plates the food at the counter, using a thumb-sized pile of ginger?
In other words, Yelp is infested with human cockroaches.
OK, how long until Yelp sues for copyright infringement? Anyone?
(“But if you buy advertising on our site, I bet we can make that lawsuit go away right quick.”)
@DarkKnightShyamalan: Consider the paperwork in the mail.
@DarkKnightShyamalan: Wait, does Yelp own the reviews? That doesn’t seem likely, since they sure as hell aren’t about to be liable for them.
@ludwigk: You hereby grant {Facebook} Yelp an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully paid, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense) to (a) use, copy, publish, stream, store, retain, publicly perform or display, transmit, scan, reformat, modify, edit, frame, translate, excerpt, adapt, create derivative works and distribute (through multiple tiers), any User Content you (i) Post on or in connection with the {Facebook} Yelp Service or the promotion thereof subject only to your privacy settings or (ii) enable a user to Post, including by offering a Share Link on your website and (b) to use your name, likeness and image for any purpose, including commercial or advertising, each of (a) and (b) on or in connection with the {Facebook} Yelp Service or the promotion thereof.
If the all of the above are sold out, I’d like a “just go to a credit union” shirt please.
Sounds like a cute way to troll for good posts on forums.
Why is this on Consumerist?
jk
I guess you could sell a lot of “I pay cash” shirts to the self-righteous.
unfortunately you won’t sell many of the over teh intarweb.
@microcars: Or else “Who uses checks any more? Join the 21st century!”
@magic8ball: for the record, the body shop my car is at only accepts cash or checks. (offtopic, i know)
@microcars:
i pay cash! brick and mortar sucks!
amazon newegg ftw!!!
@microcars: Ha ha, brilliant. . .
How long before this leads to fake 1-star reviews of people trying to get their ultra-nega-review made into a T-Shirt?
@ludwigk: Which would reveal one of the flaws of Yelp!
I commented on a story at The Consumerist and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!
@Yoko Broke Up The Beatles: And, on the back, “The CEO of the company that made this t-shirt creeps me the frick out”
@dorianh49: I think this one is my favourite so far.
@dorianh49: high five!
Maybe the receipt-checking door people at WalMart and Fry’s can get “Receipt-Checking Fascist” shirts?
Maybe a great tagline like “Violating your civil rights – because we can.”
@Dr. Chim Richolds:
“Starbucks Coffee tastes burnt” FTW!
I would like to buy a “I CAN DO IT AT HOME FOR MUCH CHEAPER AND IT TASTES BETTER”
As if somehow adding in fixed costs, labor, and ingredients would somehow make something cheaper… and as if you would make something you thought tasted bad….
Gods, I love San Francisco.
@Trai_Dep: Yes! Ok, except for the smell of urine on the city streets. I used to work at Blondie’s Pizza in Berkeley; they also have/had? a location near the main cable car turnaround on Market Street.
Blondie’s encouraged rudeness to customers when we thought they deserved it. It was all based on selling cheap, great tasting, huge pizza slices FAST. On Saturday nights, we’d have two lines in and two lines out. We’d holler “NEXT!” and “HAVE YOUR MONEY READY!” to keep it moving. As much fun as you can have on minimum wage. And it fed a lot of poor people pretty darn well. Anyone on Telegraph Ave. could scrounge $1.00 or $1.50 for a slice. Good times!
@DidSomeoneSayCookie?: As a kid, we’d whiz on the streets, figuring it was the best way to keep tourists out of our neighborhood.
Luckily, I wasn’t allowed near a pizza oven at the time.
I want a shirt that says “EECB” on the front in big ass letters, and then on the back, it has ALL the contact info for the companies that have been collected by consumerist so far.
@trujunglist: I would definitely buy that one!
That’s great. There is a chinese place by me where you pick the stuff you want raw and then they make it into a dish on a grill. Anyways word of mouth got around about how great it was. I looked on yelp and seen a review that was something like “the buffet food was cold” and thought umm did you not go up to get it cooked.
And another review was talking about how they went there last year and the food was nasty but decided to decided to try it again and it nothing changed. Thing was last year it was a Pizza Hut and they moved and it was only up for about 5 months.
I think for the Consumerist tees we need “You really should be using a credit union.”
“Only an idiot would buy [item] from [company]“
A good one would be….”Instead of going to store XYZ to buy ABC, OP should have instead gone to website 123.com”
How about. Monster Cable sucks
and now will sue me
Please donate to my
defense fund
The above post looked so much better all lined up before I hit the submit button.
“Micro$oft sucks! Only idiots don’t use Linux.”
@harleymcc: i think that’s more of a /. shirt.
Meg, I’d be much obliged if you could create a t shirt with the words “Why go thru a CSR when you could EECB?” with a list of companies and the most effective address for an EECB on the back.
No? darn.
Yelp review? I’m suing.
this site sucks since gawker sold it!
wait I kid, i kid
I’d be first in line to buy a ‘What’s this post have to do with Comcast?’ shirt.
“People actually go to [popular nationwide chain]?”
This reminds me of the original shirt that woot offered years ago. It had a bunch of quotes from their forum – positive and negative – including “I STAYED UP FOR THIS?”
i could totally go for a disemvowelled “slow news day” shirt
I’d like to see one with a bunch of check boxes and blanks, so you could build your own with a marker:
It’s your own fault for
( )shopping at __________
( )buying _________ without researching it first
( )not using a credit union
( )not using a Mac
( )not using Linux
( )not reading the fine print
( )not doing it yourself
( )not knowing the rules
( )using Comcast
( )believing the salesman
( )not being as smart and awesome as me
@magic8ball: Wonder if that’ll fit onto a single shirt….well a shirt smaller then XXXL.
I think the idea is hilarious, but I still wouldn’t patronize a place that was truly awful just because they respond to reviews with a sense of humor. How about they improve their service and product quality as well?
@WorldHarmony: I doubt a place that can afford to print these reviews is consistently bad, these printed reviews are probably from Yelpers who are very picky about their food.
I bet they’re yelp score drops a ton from people trying to get they’re review on a t-shirt.
I want a shirt that reads
REQUIRING MINIMUM PURCHASE AMOUNT OR PHOTO ID
VIOLATES YOUR CREDIT CARD MERCHANT AGREEMENT.
http://www.consumerist.com
“How about an EECB?”
cool
“Anyone can find time to [insert activity that takes 5+ hours to do]“
“CHARGE BACK”
“Who is still using t-shirts?”
as in
“Who is still using a landline?”
“Who is still using checks?”
“Who is still using Windows?”
“Who is still driving a car in the city?”
followed by
“I got rid of mine in 1998, switched to cellular/online pay/Mac/bike and never looked back.”
And so on.
Just a huge vulgar tirade, completely disemvoweled.