Pizzeria Employees Wear T-Shirts With Quotes From Nasty Yelp Reviews

Here’s a little bit of brilliance — a pizzeria in San Francisco has taken quotes from nasty 1 star reviews on Yelp! and make them into t-shirts for their employees to wear. We love this.

The quotes are many and varied, but apparently one of them simply says “this place sucks.” Hey, its like the old saying, “When life gives you lemons, make funny t-shirts to hide the pain.” Wait.

Anyway, we should probably do this with our comments. Anyone want to buy a “Why is this on Consumerist?” t-shirt?

The Yelp Tee: Almost More Brilliant Than Pizzeria Delfina’s Pizza [7×7 via BuzzFeed]

Comments

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  1. the_spaghetti_avenger says:

    Hey, at least they’re being honest, right?

  2. ThinkerTDM says:

    I will take a “it’s your own damn fault”. Or if that’s sold out, then a “everyone knows comcast sucks”.

  3. innout3x3 says:

    If OMG! Ponies! starts commenting. LOL

  4. tande04 says:

    I like it.

    If you’re serving up Consumerist ones I’ll take a “I don’t want to blame the OP but…”

  5. Benguin says:

    I’d like a disemvoweled Facebooker comment t-shirt, please.

    Something along the lines of “FRST! BLM TH P! CMCST/BST BY/T&T/ SCKS!!!!! [a]“

    • Vanilla5 says:

      @Benguin: You win.

    • Chris Yantis says:

      @Benguin: Yeah, because there aren’t non-facebook users who make comments out of pure idiocy :) Maybe you should request a shirt that says “don’t post consumerist stories on your facebook wall so your little brother doesn’t join and piss everybody off”. I think that might be more appropriate.

  6. Bathmat says:

    I think it’s a good idea for companies that have a subjective component. Someone’s “pizza is too greasy” can very likely be someone else’s “just like mom used to make”. I just can’t see less subjective businesses adopting their 1 * reviews with pride. Like, I don’t know, the car mechanic that gets a 1* review for overcharging and then misdiagnosing an obvious transmission problem.

  7. Thassodar says:

    T-shirt idea:

    “Why do you shop/eat/go to place XYZ when (my local) ABC place is so much better and they aren’t rude.”

  8. JulesNoctambule says:

    How about: ‘Slow news day, huh?’

  9. The Gigante says:

    How is this actually helpful? I dont know why i dont get it

    • ZekeSulastin says:

      @The Gigante: It’s not helpful, per se – it’s making a humorous and snarky use of the particularly idiotic 1-star reviews present on Yelp to use as positive publicity; I do believe it’s working quite well ;)

      • SybilDisobedience says:

        @ZekeSulastin: I’ve always been of the opinion that people who log onto Yelp and gripe about every damn thing at a restaurant are the kind of people who can’t be pleased anyway. Yeah, some of them have legit complaints, but most are just whiners. I mean, the pizza’s “greasy…due to the pig fat”?! What the hell? Pizza is ALWAYS greasy!

      • Con Seannery is apparently an ADMIN... says:

        @ZekeSulastin: I think you used “per se” wrong, though if I read that wrong, you might have used it correctly.

    • ideagirl says:

      @The Gigante: That is what you want on your shirt? I’ll take one of those, too!

  10. Rachacha says:

    Sign me up for a “Why the hell do you still shop at Sears!” shirt.

  11. CumaeanSibyl says:

    “You know, you should make your own dinner instead.”

  12. warf0x0r says:

    I’ll pay $50 for one.

  13. Alexander says:

    I can imagine Best Buy employees wearing “It’s your own fault for shopping at Best Buy” t-shirts.

  14. TerribleDecade says:

    Heh. Great idea anyway. Wear the shirt, serve pizza, let customer decide if it is right or wrong. Then customer will write a better review if that comment is indeed wrong.

  15. hadees says:

    This is pretty funny till they make ones like “This place gave me food poisoning” “I’ve never seen so many roaches and rat feces in my entire life.”

    • LiC says:

      @hadees: No, no, those are still funny.

    • yagisencho says:

      @hadees:

      I saw a completely bogus Yelp review on a local Japanese restaurant. They had the audacity to claim that a cockroach crawled out from under the pile of ginger slices on their sushi platter.

      1) I’ve been to this restaurant multiple times a year for nearly a decade and have never seen evidence of poor sanitation, let alone cockroaches in the dining area.
      2) How the frak would a live insect that size make it under the ginger when the sushi chef plates the food at the counter, using a thumb-sized pile of ginger?

      In other words, Yelp is infested with human cockroaches.

  16. DarkKnightShyamalan says:

    OK, how long until Yelp sues for copyright infringement? Anyone?

    (“But if you buy advertising on our site, I bet we can make that lawsuit go away right quick.”)

    • SkipT says:

      @DarkKnightShyamalan: Consider the paperwork in the mail.

    • ludwigk says:

      @DarkKnightShyamalan: Wait, does Yelp own the reviews? That doesn’t seem likely, since they sure as hell aren’t about to be liable for them.

      • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

        @ludwigk: You hereby grant {Facebook} Yelp an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully paid, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense) to (a) use, copy, publish, stream, store, retain, publicly perform or display, transmit, scan, reformat, modify, edit, frame, translate, excerpt, adapt, create derivative works and distribute (through multiple tiers), any User Content you (i) Post on or in connection with the {Facebook} Yelp Service or the promotion thereof subject only to your privacy settings or (ii) enable a user to Post, including by offering a Share Link on your website and (b) to use your name, likeness and image for any purpose, including commercial or advertising, each of (a) and (b) on or in connection with the {Facebook} Yelp Service or the promotion thereof.

  17. hoot550 says:

    If the all of the above are sold out, I’d like a “just go to a credit union” shirt please.

  18. Corporate-Shill says:

    Sounds like a cute way to troll for good posts on forums.

  19. BuddhaLite says:

    Why is this on Consumerist?

    jk

  20. microcars says:

    I guess you could sell a lot of “I pay cash” shirts to the self-righteous.

    unfortunately you won’t sell many of the over teh intarweb.

  21. ludwigk says:

    How long before this leads to fake 1-star reviews of people trying to get their ultra-nega-review made into a T-Shirt?

  22. Yoko Broke Up The Beatles says:

    I commented on a story at The Consumerist and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!

  23. Dr. Chim Richolds says:

    Maybe the receipt-checking door people at WalMart and Fry’s can get “Receipt-Checking Fascist” shirts?

    Maybe a great tagline like “Violating your civil rights – because we can.”

  24. morganlh85 says:

    “Starbucks Coffee tastes burnt” FTW!

  25. WBrink says:

    I would like to buy a “I CAN DO IT AT HOME FOR MUCH CHEAPER AND IT TASTES BETTER”

    As if somehow adding in fixed costs, labor, and ingredients would somehow make something cheaper… and as if you would make something you thought tasted bad….

  26. Trai_Dep says:

    Gods, I love San Francisco.

    • DidSomeoneSayCookie? says:

      @Trai_Dep: Yes! Ok, except for the smell of urine on the city streets. I used to work at Blondie’s Pizza in Berkeley; they also have/had? a location near the main cable car turnaround on Market Street.

      Blondie’s encouraged rudeness to customers when we thought they deserved it. It was all based on selling cheap, great tasting, huge pizza slices FAST. On Saturday nights, we’d have two lines in and two lines out. We’d holler “NEXT!” and “HAVE YOUR MONEY READY!” to keep it moving. As much fun as you can have on minimum wage. And it fed a lot of poor people pretty darn well. Anyone on Telegraph Ave. could scrounge $1.00 or $1.50 for a slice. Good times!

      • Trai_Dep says:

        @DidSomeoneSayCookie?: As a kid, we’d whiz on the streets, figuring it was the best way to keep tourists out of our neighborhood.
        Luckily, I wasn’t allowed near a pizza oven at the time.

  27. trujunglist says:

    I want a shirt that says “EECB” on the front in big ass letters, and then on the back, it has ALL the contact info for the companies that have been collected by consumerist so far.

  28. corinthos says:

    That’s great. There is a chinese place by me where you pick the stuff you want raw and then they make it into a dish on a grill. Anyways word of mouth got around about how great it was. I looked on yelp and seen a review that was something like “the buffet food was cold” and thought umm did you not go up to get it cooked.
    And another review was talking about how they went there last year and the food was nasty but decided to decided to try it again and it nothing changed. Thing was last year it was a Pizza Hut and they moved and it was only up for about 5 months.

  29. huadpe says:

    I think for the Consumerist tees we need “You really should be using a credit union.”

  30. Cocotte says:

    “Only an idiot would buy [item] from [company]“

  31. Acolyte says:

    A good one would be….”Instead of going to store XYZ to buy ABC, OP should have instead gone to website 123.com”

  32. frodolives35 says:

    How about. Monster Cable sucks
    and now will sue me
    Please donate to my
    defense fund

  33. frodolives35 says:

    The above post looked so much better all lined up before I hit the submit button.

  34. harleymcc says:

    “Micro$oft sucks! Only idiots don’t use Linux.”

  35. Verucalise (Est.February2008) says:

    Meg, I’d be much obliged if you could create a t shirt with the words “Why go thru a CSR when you could EECB?” with a list of companies and the most effective address for an EECB on the back.

    No? darn.

  36. oneliketadow says:

    Yelp review? I’m suing.

  37. BiZarRroBALlmeR says:

    this site sucks since gawker sold it!

    wait I kid, i kid

  38. ShirtNinja says:

    I’d be first in line to buy a ‘What’s this post have to do with Comcast?’ shirt.

  39. Propaniac says:

    “People actually go to [popular nationwide chain]?”

  40. madanthony says:

    This reminds me of the original shirt that woot offered years ago. It had a bunch of quotes from their forum – positive and negative – including “I STAYED UP FOR THIS?”

  41. catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

    i could totally go for a disemvowelled “slow news day” shirt

  42. magic8ball says:

    I’d like to see one with a bunch of check boxes and blanks, so you could build your own with a marker:

    It’s your own fault for
    ( )shopping at __________
    ( )buying _________ without researching it first
    ( )not using a credit union
    ( )not using a Mac
    ( )not using Linux
    ( )not reading the fine print
    ( )not doing it yourself
    ( )not knowing the rules
    ( )using Comcast
    ( )believing the salesman
    ( )not being as smart and awesome as me

  43. WorldHarmony says:

    I think the idea is hilarious, but I still wouldn’t patronize a place that was truly awful just because they respond to reviews with a sense of humor. How about they improve their service and product quality as well?

    • theblackdog says:

      @WorldHarmony: I doubt a place that can afford to print these reviews is consistently bad, these printed reviews are probably from Yelpers who are very picky about their food.

  44. Swizzler121 says:

    I bet they’re yelp score drops a ton from people trying to get they’re review on a t-shirt.

  45. 4ster says:

    I want a shirt that reads

    REQUIRING MINIMUM PURCHASE AMOUNT OR PHOTO ID
    VIOLATES YOUR CREDIT CARD MERCHANT AGREEMENT.
    http://www.consumerist.com

  46. MooseOfReason says:

    “How about an EECB?”

  47. Zafarali Ahmed says:

    cool

  48. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    “Anyone can find time to [insert activity that takes 5+ hours to do]“

    “CHARGE BACK”

  49. Skybolt says:

    “Who is still using t-shirts?”

    as in

    “Who is still using a landline?”

    “Who is still using checks?”

    “Who is still using Windows?”

    “Who is still driving a car in the city?”

    followed by

    “I got rid of mine in 1998, switched to cellular/online pay/Mac/bike and never looked back.”

    And so on.

  50. Courteous_Gentleman says:

    Just a huge vulgar tirade, completely disemvoweled.

  51. tworld says:

    What a pathetic sign of the times . . . . . be proud of doing a bad job.

  52. dmuth says:

    I would pay for a t-shirt with the “this comment has been disemvoweled” warning message.

  53. cmp179 says:

    “If you don’t want debt collectors calling you, maybe you should pay your damn bills.”

  54. ezacharyk says:

    I want a “Just show the receipt.” shirt.

  55. MrBlastotron says:

    Give me a “Slow news day?” shirt please.

  56. Pop Socket says:

    “Don’t carry a balance and the APR doesn’t matter.”

    I would but a Grocery Shrink Ray shirt.

  57. shadowkahn says:

    Seems to me this is very helpful. Somewhat like a prizefighter playing videos of people talking about how much of a wimp he is. Bet you tune in to see his next fight. The shirts tell me they’re mocking the bad reviews because they know their product isn’t anywhere close to what is described by the reviewers. Makes me at least think about asking someone I trust what the food is like.

    (the reply button seems to be broken. Anyone else seeing that?)

  58. DrGirlfriend says:

    “I have no sympathy for _______”

  59. valarmorghulis says:

    How about a “Why is Consumerist on my shirt?” shirt?

  60. OMG! Ponies! says:

    Hey. You got a problem with the cinematic work of Michael Keaton?! Christian Bale can’t hold a candle to him.

  61. Torley says:

    You know this is going to entice people to write fake 1-star reviews to see if they can make it onto a T-shirt.

    But pretty clever, psychologically.

  62. Joshua Powers says:

    not sure if this is relevant but pizzeria delfina is a “gourmet” pizzeria associated with and next door to possibly the greatest italian restaurant in san francisco… it’s definitely not some dive-y place.

  63. Vanessa Martinez says:

    Pizzeria Delfina has mice in their kitchen. Put THAT on a shirt.