According to the Cape Cod Times an unidentified shopper was browsing through the wallets at a Falmouth, MA Walmart, when he unzipped one of the compartments and found a surprise — ten human teeth. One of them even had a filling.
The man turned the teeth over to the store’s management but left before police arrived. According to the paper, the teeth are from an adult and because they had no blood or gum tissue attached, they can’t be tested for DNA.
“We’re not aware of anything like this happening in the past, and we believe this to be an isolated incident,” said Ashley Hardie, a Wal-Mart spokeswoman.
Police are hoping the shopper will come forward so they can speak with him.
Teeth found in wallet at Falmouth Wal-Mart [Cape Cod Times]
(Photo:genebob)
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I am thinking the tooth fairy bought the wallet, didnt like it after she used it and returned it.
@Adrienne Willis: L(ing)OL.
@Adrienne Willis: You win the internets!
Untrue. You don’t need blood or gum tissue to extract DNA from teeth.
@fatcop: Yep. They grind down the teeth for the DNA extraction. Surface tissues are irrelavant.
@Bigrobot: I bet they just don’t want to spend the money on it.
@fatcop: Yeah, I think there’s DNA in the nerve tissue at the center.
@SMSDHubbard:
There should be DNA in both the pulp tissue in the center and in the cementum (root surface) near the tip of the root of the tooth.
@fatcop: Came here to post this.
@fatcop: Unless of course it was contaminated with bleach, acid, ammonia, vinegar, or any one of the other thousands of household items that would contaminate DNA.
Call me old fashioned, but I think the authorities know better than Consumerist commenters whether or not DNA could be extracted.
GROSS!!!
CREEPY. How do you just leave after that? Wouldn’t curiosity demand that you stick around to figure out where they came from?
@Drowner: I imagine that he had to go straight home to use liberal amounts of brain bleach.
@Drowner:
If you’re the one that put them in there, you’d probably want to leave before the cops arrive.
@Drowner: if i found teeth in a wallet id start crying and leave after that. i am seriously creeped out by teeth that arent in their propper place.
@freepistol: It’s kind of Blair Witchish.
@Drowner: Not if the police would like to speak to me on an unrelated case.
So that’s where I left them!
This doesn’t make any sense at all. I can not imagine a single plausible, common sense reason for why ANYONE would want to stash teeth in a wallet at Wal-Mart. Giving out cookies for the person that comes up with the most believeable story!
@Radi0logy: Fetish?
@Radi0logy: But the person with the real story can’t actually eat the cookies because he/she doesn’t have any teeth
@Radi0logy:
1. Cow eats person.
2. Cow gets made into wallet.
3. Remains of person found in wallet.
Somewhere there’s a purse with a free pair of glasses in the pocket.
@Canino: I very much loel’d at this – you win 5 internets sir!
@Radi0logy: A guy at the wallet factory (in some horrid third world place) sneezed causing ten of his teeth (probably the good ones too) to fal out. He put them in his wallet in hopes of getting them put back in. Since he works in a wallet factory in a horrid third world country, his wallet was actually his first paycheck and thus was brand new and devoid of any items other than the teeth.
He went on his lunch break (really just a juice break now) and accidently dropped his wallet on the production line right before the packing machine.
and the rest, well that’s history.
@Lo-Pan: Funny. Sent me into a coughing fit. No teeth fell out thankfully.
@Radi0logy:
He lives in the UK and is one of the millions of Europeans practicing DIY Dentistry! Wallmart sells drills and pliers don’t they?
[news.bbc.co.uk]
Homedepot, the Place for DIY home improvement!
Wallmart, The Place for DIY dentistry!
@Radi0logy:
Just for the fun of it is why I’d do it. If I only had ten teeth to spare…
@Radi0logy: Made in China. ‘Nuff said.
Somewhere in rural Massachusetts, an Alzheimer’s patient gently weeps while trying to gum his jello…
@Bigrobot: LMAO
I’m surprised that Walmart let him leave without checking his receipt and/or paying for the teeth.
@Segador:
No, that would be Sam’s Club.
@joe18521: Some wal-marts in less ahem..developed…neighorhoods have the checkpoint charlies. The first time we saw one, a friend of mine kept walking and said “it’s ok, I’m white”…I reminded her a few moments later that she’s very east Indian!
@Segador: I lol’d!
There is probably some slave labourer in China who is missing their teeth no doubt for some minor infraction in the wallet production process.
Must be *some* way to blame the victim but I can’t think of it right now.
No doubt someone will be right over to rectify that….
@catnapped: Well, he as shopping at WallMart*, which is a crime in itself.
Also, why did he unzip the wallet? Isn’t that a breach of the WULA?
Clearly they were a criminal if they left before the police arrived – otherwise they would have nothing to hide.
[Obviously jokes]
I thought it was possible to get DNA from teeth?
Either way this is creepy as hell. There’s a couple reasons one might lose 10 teeth, and none of them are very pleasant.
@emona: It is if they grind them down. It’s probably expensive and not worth it in this case, though.
If any of them are front teeth, please contact me. They were removed against my will by my Ex.
@McNugget911_GitEmSteveDave: Pa?
@badhatharry: Nope, that’s me in my Halloween costume. The only thing I have to do is add the black eye, and not put my teeth in. Viola!
@McNugget911_GitEmSteveDave: Um, Pa?
@McNugget911_GitEmSteveDave: You love showing that picture off, don’t you?
@Con Seannery is apparently an ADMIN…: It’s the best one I have of me w/no teeth.
I wonder how much he’d get if he sent the fillings in to cash4gold.
@sir_eccles: Spend 96 cents on a can of gold spray paint and send them in.
[cockeyed.com]
@sir_eccles: $.06
@sir_eccles: That’s why I deal with Cash4BowlingBalls.com. It’s the best of both worlds. You use the bowling ball to get the teeth out to sent into Cash4Gold.com
Hmmm, I wonder where the rest of the teeth, the rest of the body for that matter, are.
They are left over from those skulls on the Totenkopf tee-shirts.
That’s my theory.
What good would extracting the DNA from the teeth do them anyway? You need something to compare the DNA to to be able to determine a match, correct? I don’t think we’ve quite reached the point where law abiding citizen’s DNA is stored in a big database somewhere.
@wgrune: It’s possible the person with the missing teeth has a record, and frankly I wouldn’t be surprised.
You CAN get DNA from teeth by grinding them down, but they probalby can’t justify the cost.
@wgrune: You haven’t been to Kansas then.
If you are arrested for a felony charge (not convicted, just arrested) your dna is taken.
After this year (or next, I dont recall) a misdemeanor arrest will get your dna taken.
@fatcop:
I know they take DNA from criminals/suspects hence the “law abiding” portion of my post.
@wgrune: If the suspects didn’t commit the crime, aren’t they still law abiding?
@Rectilinear Propagation: Unless they got a speeding ticket…
@wgrune: Well, you can also get family members if they have alleals in common, or at least that’s what Saddel, the horse-toothed CSI taught me.
@wgrune: They will probably be running them against unclaimed or unidentified bodies.
Store manager to staff at Team Meeting:
“…and another thing. No extra breaks for teeth falling out!”
Maybe Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia went shopping at Walmart.
[www.fancast.com]
(clip slightly NSFW)
@Chris Walters: See..that’s the first thought that crossed my mind as well.
wal*mart fight club stash?
I’m trying to think of how someone could have put the teeth there without violence being involved.
A mortician who went nuts?
@Rectilinear Propagation: Mine got knocked out by a pool toy w/no blood whatsoever.
Turns out those belong to Nick Nolte: [twitter.com]
Let me put on my strobe light and Massive Attack CD and I’ll have those DNA results to you stat.
Based upon my local Wal Mart, I’d say they belong to one of the greeters.
By the time the government gets done printing up money to cover the bail-outs/hand-outs, we’ll all probably be paying for goods and services with teeth.
That’s kind of freaky, I mean… one or two teeth I’d understand, accidents happen but 10?
Someone somewhere got punished for not working fast enough…
Dentist disposing of biohazardous waste (I think teeth, or just about anything removed from a human, qualify) on the cheap?
I can hear Jeff Foxworthy Now:
IF you carry your teeth in your wallet, you might be a redneck.
I can’t be the only one giggling that the store is in a city called FALMOUTH. Harharhar.
@TemporaryAphasia: FINALLY. THANK YOU. Hell, I was about to have to log in just to point that out!
wait… dammit.
If he’d kept it overnight, the Tooth Fairy would have left 10 quarters for him. Dummy.
So happy to hear the Tooth Fairy rates haven’t increased due to cost of living expenses since 1948!!!!@MyPetFly:
@vildechaia: it’s not the cost of living, coins get heavy and dollar bills are so ungainly when you are a tiny winged creature.
It is comforting to know that presently manufactured wallets are capable of holding at least 10 teeth. Hopefully more.
At the rate the dollars are being printed, “mouth money” may be stabler currency sooner than we think…
Come on guys, this one is SO easy to figure out.
His/her teeth were going to be used as “bling” or even zipper pulls, on the wallets that were made from his/her skin.
I bet they used his/her hair to weave a rug.
Best place to hide a body: Wal-Mart
Where did this take place again?
Fallmouth? hehehe
Sounds like what these teeth did.
Well…since Wal-Mart’s HQ is in Arkansas, I guess it clears them of any possible wrongdoing!
WTF??!
The Official Wal*Mart Meth Wallet.
In a Yakov voice: “In China, the Wallet bites YOU!”
What the f!*# is going on in this country!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!