buy them a beer

@headhot: ha! same thing i was thinking.

@headhot:

IF they lost a meh or not great job buy them a beer, if they lost a good or great job, then get them a pitcher!

Make sure they take advantages of the things they've been paying for while they were employed.. Unemployment benefits, etc.

Don't remind them that they should have gotten an engineering degree rather than art history, english, philospophy or whatever other unmarketable degree they have.

Do pack them a phatty bowl.

I've read Trunk's stuff before. Some of it, especially when dealing with co-workers and bad bosses is almost useless and quite possibly counter-productive in the real world.

Ask them if they believe in Jesus then bite them.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Or don't pack them a bowl since that's... you know... a good way to fail a pre-employment drug screen for when a friend finds a new job/get them by for now job.

Just be there. I was out of work for six months due to my company filing Chapter 11 and what I "wanted" a friend to say could vary from one day to the next. I may want to talk about the frustrations of job hunting one day and may simply want to ignore it the next. Being out of work can be very difficult on the person who's unemployed, and a good friend will simply be ready to be there in whatever capacity is needed at that time...

Best general advice... keep it light until the person out of work takes it to a heavier subject...

So don't ask about their job hunt but ask them "hey hows your health insurance" and "man, does your wife think you're a loser"... bet that will cheer them up...

@intellivised: yes. the obvious alternative would be cocaine, since it's out of your system in 2-3 days.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: And if they do have an engineering degree, don't remind them that you left engineering junior year for political science and philosophy but you still have a job.

@enm4r: also, don't kid your wife about that fact that you have an AA from a vocational school and make almost twice as much as her with her masters from a UC.

seriously, don't.

When it's your significant other who lost their job, most of these steps are pretty worthless or strange. Step six could turn out hilarious or maybe tie into step 5, with the good contact being a divorce lawyer.

@Fresh-Fest-1986: wait, do I bite them no matter what the answer is, or only if they answer wrong? If so, what is the wrong answer?

this makes no sense whatsoever. How about you lead with "whats up, dude" and then react to what they say? like any normal human being would do?

I offer to help them polish up their resume.

Most people that I know, that got laid off recently, hadn't touched their resume in a long time and had a very hard time remembering everything that they did at their last job. It sometimes helps when someone asks them questions about their last position.

It also helps to have someone not familiar with their field or company review the resume to identify the buzzwords that were native to that company that they worked for and help replace them with something that has more of a mass appeal.

@Nathan Tappin: What if they lost a job from a brewery?

Heroin, maybe?

@headhot: Yes. Please start them on the road to being the drunk and homeless guy on the street.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Except the housing market whomps and engineers are being laid off just as quickly. Winchester Homes just did a 25% cut. Yikes!

@m4ximusprim3: Sounds like no sex for you.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: And if they do have an engineering degree....well then they aren't unemployed.

LOLZ

I've been laid off once. It threw me into a nearly psychotic rage for months. I never actually cased the house or anything, but the idea of killing the motherfucker who ran the company (into the ground) was always with me.

That was 7 years ago. Even now, if that bastard ever walks into the street in front of my car, he better have everything straight with Jesus that day.

@Tiki McTikatron: You should get your own consumerist article.

@m4ximusprim3: Bite them, then tell them you were practicing your imaginary interview skills. Tell them, Congratulations you not only lost your real job but also the one in my head.

When I was unemployed (for over a year), I appreciated it when people would let me know of a job lead, or offer me some help with my resume, etc. But don't hound them, i.e."You better call them; Oh hurry up on this or that; You need to do this; You need to do that."

Offer it, and if they decline, don't make a big deal of it. They may just need some time to think about it. And if they change the subject, let them. Don't let the job hunt be the ONLY thing you talk about. That will just make them feel worse and then they will start to avoid you.

@Ingram81: (waits for the responses)

Wow! I can't wait to stop asking my friends how the job hunt's going and instead focus on lighter topics like how their health insurance sucks now and whether their SO's going to dump them. Great advice!

@TinkishDelight: Our firm can't get enough applicants to fill open positions.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected:

Proud History Major, gainfully employed.

Every two weeks I look at my bank account and I feel a little guilty. Then I focus on the amount deposited, and I feel sad.

@BuddyGuyMontag: If I were sleeping with this woman it would be hard for me not to stop in the middle, look down, and say, "Is that my junk in your Trunk?

@Fresh-Fest-1986: I bealive in Jesus, yeah, Jesus Sanchez, we went to school together. He went to Brown, only weird thing is that he was Jewish. Go figure.

I was actually kind of shocked at how supportive my friends and family have been since I was laid off of my job. We're all really close, but its still pretty touching. The neighbors have me doing odd job work for extra cash, my friends have been keeping an eye out for work that fits my skill set, and my family has just been awesomely supportive on many levels.

I need to start giving people more hugs or something.

@BuddyGuyMontag: Yeah, I tried to read her blog before and the level of self-importance she types with makes me wish I could smack her.

@Ingram81: Andy Richter, PI: "She died doing what she did best, suicide."

@Ingram81:

100% uncalled for asshattery

@Pink Puppet: "...I need to start giving people more hugs or something."

Make sure they realize that because of your position that they will be billed for them.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Really?? We just laid off a bunch of civil engineers.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: While there is a shortage of engineering degrees. It's not like degrees in health care. I've never known an RN to be unemployed for more than 2 weeks.

If you know they aren't as prepared as they should be financially, offer them the couch or the spare bedroom until they're on their feet again. A $75 storage room versus $1000 in rent could make the difference between a minor setback and financial ruin if it takes a long time for them to find a job. Obviously this only applies to really close friends (and hope all your friends don't lose their jobs).

Wait to lecture them on the concept of saving until after they are on their feet again.

I usually like to get them all riled up by helping them come up with scapegoats for their troubles.

Holy crap, I can't believe you guys used THAT picture!

That is my friend Josh Moore, this is a promo picture for his acoustic project! You can check out his music here: www.myspace.com/joshuamoore

Also, to go along with the theme of everyone being called JOSH... my friend Joshua Hoffman is the photographer!

...and yes, my name is ALSO Josh! haha

@sonneillon: Absolutely. I have no doubt this is intertwined with the quality issues in healthcare.

@headhot: Funny, yes, but a free beer, nice lunch, or other reason to get out of the house is greatly appreciated by the out-of-work.

@Fresh-Fest-1986: lulz. absolute lulz.

@Mirshaan: 1st one takes the bait.

@Josh Hofer: Are you joshing us?

Buy them a beer. That's all I would want

@Luckwouldhaveit: ha! That really made me laugh out loud. Well done.