Oh No, People Can't Afford Stupid Crap This Valentine's Day
Yesterday I passed by a Godiva store in midtown Manhattan and saw that it was packed with frustrated looking men in suits lined up to the door. It reminded me of how manufactured this particular holiday is. After all, these men hadn't all shown up at the same store, on the same day and for the exact same reason, spontaneously; it took years and years of conditioning. But is there room in the new Poor America for the sort of spendy nonsense that Valentine's Day demands? The New York Times takes a look at how people are cutting costs, and ignoring mass-marketed fauxmance for cheaper and more personalized experiences.
Most of the examples in the Times article are anecdotal, and focus on people facing reduced budgets due to layoffs or salary freezes, but they also cite some actual numbers, like how "diamond jewelry sales are down 20 percent to 30 percent."
Last year, consumers spent an average of $122.98 on Valentine's Day gifts and merchandise, up from $80 in 2003, according to the National Retail Federation. With men, Professor Close said, "a lot of it had to do with the whole one-upmanship." This year, however, the average expense is expected to drop 17 percent, to $102.50 this year, the federation said.
Maybe, for the next year or so at least, demonstrating your love frugally will be considered more attractive than blowing a wad of badly-needed cash on store-bought trinkets.
"Days of Wine and Roses Are Over This Valentine's" [New York Times]
(Photo: Axel Bührmann)
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"Maybe, for the next year or so at least, demonstrating your love frugally will be considered more attractive than blowing a wad of badly-needed cash on store-bought trinkets."
Oh, I'm planning on blowing a wad of something on Valentines Day.
Showing everyone that you do actually have a life, or at least someone who loves you out there, is most of the fun of getting overpriced hothouse roses on valentine's day. If it falls on a saturday, and nobody sees them because you get them at home instead of work, what is the point?
My husband took me to an annual sale at a bead store today- and stayed with me, rather than going over to the conveniently located woodworking store across the street. Nothing could have been more romantic!
I bought my guy a fresh bottle of poppers.
$10.00.
You straight dudes are getting ripped-off!
Valentine's Day, what a con job.
My wife and I are entertaining one of her close friends and her boyfriend. About $75 for the fixings of ahi tuna and assorted Thai sides, plus a crapload of wine which we have started in on already :)
Just over eighteen bucks a person and way fun. Sorry, Godiva.
I had an ex who used to buy me Godiva all the time for no reason other than he wanted to do something nice. I miss THAT about him.
Judging by the amount of unsold holiday merchandise left in retail stores near me, people cannot afford cheap, stupid and useless crap for ANY holiday this year!
We're going out to our favourite Asian vegetarian restaurant tonight. . .but because we're both too tired to cook, not because it's Valentine's Day. I did make some heart-shaped sugar cookies with my friends' kids yesterday and woke up to find the cat eating them, so I guess I sort of gave the cat a present.
Yay..DEATH to "Candy, Cards, and Crap" day.
Who knew that the chocolate orange left over from Christmas didn't count as Valentine's candy?!?! That's fine, now I don't have to share it.
I spent less than 10 bucks.
Card and a frame for my wife (to put a picture of the kids into)
Card and a package of Valentines' themed Peeps ('from the kids' for mommmy)
She was perfectly happy.
Don't forget that tomorrow is "cheap chocolate day" day after tomorrow is "Even cheaper chocolate day because we gotta put the easter crap up!"
"...how manufactured this particular holiday is." As opposed to what, the grass-roots spontaneity of Thanksgiving?
@floraposte: All holidays are manufactured to a certain point, but Thanksgiving and Christmas have a sort of tradition to them. Celebrating the solstice or the feast at the end of the harvest or something along those lines. Still arbitrary, but we do need breaks every once in awhile. Valentine's Day is no break, just a corporate ploy for cash.
@Ariella Kadosh: My husband and I decided long ago that February 15th is a far more exciting day to shop for one another, as heart shaped chocolates are 75% off. We didn't need a recession to figure that one out.
@Gizmosmonster: You have a bead store AND a woodworking store within walking distance of each other. I want to move to where you live. Then again maybe it is a good thing I don't. Two serious weaknesses.
@OhYeahAlright: Thanksgiving is a wholly manufactured holiday, with considerably less tradition behind it than Valentine's day. Basically, I think there are plenty of things to object to with Valentine's day, but it stands up pretty well if we're assessing origins. I think it's kind of like weddings--you can accept the industry version and spend tens of thousands of dollars on a one-day fantasy, or you can skip the brand name approach, but I hate to see the commercialized version treated as if it were the definitive standard.
We spent $0 other than some really good food for dinner at home. But we do that frequently on the weekend anyways.
I would love to see Valentines day become more of a day to do something nice for someone rather than a day to see who can buy the most expensive crap.
Every holiday is manufactured...they're just normal days and people tell you that its time to celebrate something. Don't give me that crap about christmas being the birth of christ or whatever, its been pretty conclusively shown that he was not born in december.
We derive pleasure from these days, and so they become holidays. It doesn't matter who manufactured them, they're ALL manufactured...
It isn't me spending the money - my wife doesn't expect crap for Valentine's Day, and we're just having a quiet evening in.
I guess you can chalk up $4.98 for the Trader Joe's chocolate bar and small container of cocoa-covered almonds I got her....
Sloppy Joe's and french fires! Oh yeah...and corn...gotta have a vegetable for proper nutrition. We did get a couple of cards for each other as always....
I stopped celebrating these bull$hit Hallmark holidays when I was a kid. I realized they were just a big scam when I was about 5 and am amazed seemingly nobody else has caught on.
one of the redeeming qualities about my wife is that she thinks that valentines day is complete bullshit. i ended up buying her a card, and we gave two $3 boxes of the kinds of chocolate her parents like, plus a card.
Yesterday, I went into Target up where I work and could find almost no sign of any valentine's day crap except in the "dollar section." I searched the store and didn't see the seasonal section they usually have. My wife went in to a 7-11 today on the way to the in-laws and they had no valentines day stuff either.
One of the good things about the economic downturn is that the "spend money on crap because we tell you that you ought to" holidays seem to be losing traction.
@Outrun1986: i was wandering around the mall with one of my friends about 3 weeks ago, wound up in a candle store... they were still trying to get rid of halloween candles. and christmas candles. at that point, i think the v-day candles were marked down to 10%.
i'll be surprised if they make it to June.
@Ariella Kadosh: the dollar store here had St Patty's day stuff out last week.. alongside the Easter stuff, the V-day chocolates, and bargain bin of trashed xmas decor
my mom made it very clear to my dad that if he got her roses, she would leave him.
No gifts, no cards, no crap. I made a nice steak dinner, had a bottle of the really good $3 wine I scooped up on end-of-year clearance, and some sugar cookies. I typically do a nice dinner on weekends, when I have time. V-day blows, and thank goodness we don't try to pretend that it's real.
@jcostantino: I guess it depends on where you live because around here 90% of the Valentines day stuff is still on store shelves at this very moment. People just aren't buying it. Its also like this for pretty much any holiday in my area, the amount of X-mas crap left after this year was ridiculous.
A couple years ago the X-mas stuff and Valentines day stuff would be 90% sold out by the end of the day after the holiday since people would come and ravage for it for 50% off, nowadays barely any of it sells 50% off or not.
Showing everyone that you do actually have a life, or at least someone who loves you out there, is most of the fun of getting overpriced hothouse roses on valentine's day.
It's weird how that doesn't work with cold sores, though...
@Gstein:
nitrites. Amyl, butyl, cyclohexyl or something like that... smooth muscle relaxants. they give you a headrush and make your anus loosen. Formerly used to treat angina, also used as the antidote for cyanide poisoning.
@floraposte: Well, I was thinking of it in terms of the modern day Valentine's having replaced any original version, so "manufactured" in that sense I guess--the outer shell of a traditional holiday filled with the creamy guts of chocolate and cards. Thanksgiving and Christmas still dredge up some mention of tradition or deeper meanings in most homes, whereas V Day feels like it sprang forth wholly formed sometime in the past 50 years. (I remember in college, I hand made some Martyrdom of St. Valentine cards for some friends one year and had to explain to them what the hell I was talking about.)
I certainly don't want to rank the value of holidays just by how old they are because then I'd have to stop demanding so many presents on my birthday.
Coffee and blueberry muffin in bed for me from my hubby and a treat for him from me :D . Then a serious discussion on where to put our windfall tax return, Roth or CD. Romance schmomance, its all good :D
@Ariella Kadosh: The day after Valentines and the day after Halloween, my two favorite days of the year.
I've actually found myself liking Thanksgiving, because it seems like one of the less hyped holidays. Get together with the family, eat some food, but no gifts, which cuts down on a lot of the hype.
I made my wife a card on the computer and gave her a Christmas gift I didn't that I forgot about (flannel jammies) for a present. We've never done the whole Valentine day thing and we've been married over 15 years.
I'm thinking that last week was a big breakup week too.
@Starfury: My mom's favorite card ever was a homemade card we made her on KidPix or some other such cheap graphic design program that said "Happy Mother's Day: We saved a lot of money with this card!" Printed it out, folded it into quarters, and signed it. That was about 10 years ago and she still has it sitting on her desk.
We watched the Pride and Prejudice miniseries, and then went out to the bar for burgers and beer -- but we might have done either or both of those things anyway. I like having an excuse to go out and do stuff, but I don't generally come up with anything besides "hey, let's go do that thing we already like doing."
I spend exactly $0.00. I give no gift and expect no gift. Besides birthdays, Christimas, and aniversary is where it counts.
Some people are gift givers, and like to give and receive love in this way. Personally I like spending time with people who are close to me, but there are some folks who just like getting gifts. My best friend's wife is like that. It doesn't mean she's materialistic or selfish, just that she appreciates gifts and gives lots of them herself.
With that in mind, a special excuse to give presents to each other isn't a bad idea. It's not stupid to want to show someone you love them by getting them a gift.
What IS stupid - the commercialism surrounding almost every holiday and distorting its intended meaning. Due to advertisements and culture, we feel guilty if we don't buy, and then there's unfair expectations and disappointments as a result.
One time when I was growing up my mom got mad at my dad for giving her an expensive toaster (something my wife would appreciate). What she wanted was a diamond bracelet. She was pissed. I will never forget that.
I look forward to President's Day more than V-Day. At least President's day is a federal holiday. V-Day is the most overrated holiday.