Oo, oo, can you hire a copyeditor too?

any deadline?... think i'll try for this...

hmm... I would actually do this... but I suck at writing essays.

I'm wondering what address you would like the Editorial sent to especially if it is separate from your Quick Answer of "Yes, I'm interested, I'm terrific, I can do it, Hire me" address. Thanks...Sweetnote

Does owning and regularly wearing almost the exact hat pictured get you any bonus points? I can include pictures of me with said hat, if verification is necessary.

What time of day are the hours required? Is this something that can be done at night or in the early morning?

You have definitely piqued my interest.

I will do it and will offer to be compensated only with dates with Meghann.

@OwenKlient:

I'd be interested also, depending on what time of day the work must be done.

Any information on the hat? I really like the hat.

This isnt a news story! How dare you! Wheres your journalistic integrity! (queue mandatory "CONSUMERIST ISNT NEWS DUMBASS!!!" reply)

@SparkleMotion_GitEmSteveDave: Fedora with a leather strap?

A sample article would probably be better than a 500 word essay.

"offers a very small stipend"

How small is small?

@deadspork: You should be hired just for properly spelling "piqued".

@Pizza_Club: "Our" fiancee might be upset.

@downwithmonstercable: It's very Indiana Jones-ish, and that appeals to me.

@Corporate-Shill:
In this job market, I'll take small. :)

Can you pay me in drawings of spiders?

@SparkleMotion_GitEmSteveDave: It is an attractive hat. I don't think I could pull it off though.

@downwithmonstercable: You know, in looking at it closer, I think IT IS the Indiana Jones Fedora. The white mark on the band is a Indiana Jones logo pin. I still want though.

@SparkleMotion_GitEmSteveDave:

Hows this one? [www.thinkgeek.com]

Anyone who wears the hat must preface every story with 16 point National Enquirer style headlines rplete with exclamation points, be able to disguise lame gossip as breaking news, talk in a nasally whine and change his or her name to Matt Drudge.

@Nick1693: Very $$. I'd have to take the job at Consumerist just to afford it!

How about you pay me to proofread/copy-edit instead?
"Email your resume and AN A 500+ word essay to jobline@consumerist.com"

@SparkleMotion_GitEmSteveDave: So true, but you could always steal underpants for profit. Somehow.

Is Consumerist giving out the golden turd this year, or did Consumer Report put the kabosh on that?

Shame on you Consumerist! You posted this with a picture of a fancy hat and the job does not mention the fancy hat as part of the remuneration. That hat was just designed to lure in applicants, talk about false advertising!

@Corporate-Shill: $2.75/week?

@oneliketadow: BAIT AND SWITCH, EVERYBODY!

I'll apply if it pays me in sweet hats...

I don't post that often but I read consumerist.com all the time. I'd like to take a stab at it. All of you that follow me from gawker.com don't go complaining and throwing tomatoes at me now. I am qualified as I will have a degree in English Lit. in May of '09.

@taking_this_easy:

Deadline: Feb 25.

@NikkiSweet: Me too! I'd love to do this but I hate to write essays. I also suck at spelling, and have to rely on spell check.

@Corporate-Shill: Considering that similar help-wanted postings usually just say "small stipend" instead of "very small stipend", I'm guessing that it's somewhere in the region of a bag of sawdust, minus bag deposit.

@Aeroracere: OK, you're my new hero.

@nickexperience: (gulp)
"and AN A 500+..."?!

Love the hat, but fearful of whose hands wield the bullwhip.

@Aeroracere: all of Consumerist's spiders are missing a leg, which means they're basically worthless

@SparkleMotion_GitEmSteveDave:

Boy, that was a valuable contribution.

@CoarseLive: At least I found out more about the hat.

Does the new Assistant Editor also get to meet Tax Cat? Because that would be awesome.

@TorrentFreak: No pickles on my burger, thanks.

@Corporate-Shill: My guess is that they paypal you $25/week. Or, perhaps at the end of the gig they send you a $100 Red Lobster gift card.

oh why oh why... dang i wonder if i can do this since im living like a timezone of UTC+8

If you apply, should the resume and essay be attachments, or should they be in the body of the e-mail?

My guess would be attachments, but you never know.

I would like to nominate Eyebrows McGee for this job. It's something she could do from home after the baby arrives. :-)

@SegamanXero: I really want to be an astronaut but I suck at being an astronaut.

@TheStig'sNJCousin_GitEmSteveDave:

[farm3.static.flickr.com]