Don't Draw Genitalia As Your Signature When Paying Via Credit Card
After accidentally scribbling nonsense on a verification screen and seeing that it didn't trigger any alerts, Kingpin at DrunkRepublic decided to start goofing around with his signature when using his credit card. It led to some fun times for a while. Then it backfired. (Warning: the image after the jump is cartoonishly NSWF in a Comcast-at-the-Superbowl sort of way.)
At first, he says, he tried using lines or drawing Xes, then escalated to things like "Crotchy Crotchington" or "I'm A Criminal." Finally, assured that the system was bunk, he drew what any self-respecting smartass would draw once you've figured out that The Man isn't paying attention: a classic cock-and-balls doodle.
Unfortunately, this was exactly what the machine appeared to be waiting for, because it refused to accept the doodle. Instead, it printed it out on a receipt and asked the cashier to verify it against Kingpin's card. She, of course, called over the manager.
Manager: Sir, your signature...heh...umm...doesn't match the signature on your card.
Kingpin: I know and there is a good reason for that.
Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.
Read the full story on his blog.
Update: We broke Kingpin's blog. (Sorry.) Here's a Google Cache of the text version of the post. Just use your imagination to add the penis image above to it.
"When Your Credit Card Signature Fun Backfires" [DrunkRepublic] (Thanks to Shannen!)
(Photo: The Consumerist)
Post a comment
Comments:
Thanks guys, just sprayed my water all over the screen laughing so hard.
Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.
The credit card machine has been defiled!
Wow yeah. That would've been great if it matched the back of his card.
@nicemarmot617: At least it was just the screen.
I'm on day 9 of a brutal cold and this made me laugh so hard it set off a painful coughing jag.
That poor manager probably has middle-school kids at home. He has to put up with juvenile jokes about body parts at home, and now he has to deal with it at work?!
LOLOLOLOL I play with Wal-Mart a lot since they often ask for ID instead of checking the signature. So I made a game out of it, I'd show them a different card (like a mastercard instead of the visa I used) with my ID. Sometimes when doing this I'd write stuff like 'Check This Signature - Not ID', which looks awesome on receipts over $100 mark that show the signature on walmart receipts. I think I'll try the genetelia next.
There was some other 'tube funnyman that did a similar thing a while back. If I'm remembering correctly he signed his CC receipts 'Ra, God of the Sun' and other things. I don't recall the credit company ever complaining.
I've often wondered how much checking those digital terminals do and what it'd take to get them to reject a signature. The resolution on them is quite poor.
I was at a ToysRUs once and their machine was broken. No matter what you wrote it would just fill in the screen solid black. That was when I figured nobody really checked those.
I've been tempted to mess with the signature stuff myself. Thanks for the best laugh I've had in while. I'll bet his "artwork" is currently on the bulletin board in the offices, and may make it into a training manual. Classic!
There was a write up about something like this a while back. I haven't written my name on one of those machines since reading it. Though I've never done this either :)
oops, that link is the article I mentioned. Not my blog or anything.
@Raekwon: I was at Giant today and theirs wasn't working right...cashier indicated they knew it was broke and most people either signed a paper receipt or would just scribble something when dealing with that particular terminal. Really doesn't see like they cared.
(and for the record, I've signed "X" on those at different places a few times...didn't make a difference...nobody cares)
@FLConsumer: They don't do any, your sig is kept in a file and printed in hard copy at night. Only reviewed if you dispute a charge.
My boyfriend always signed Mickey Mouse and other dumb stuff. Nothing has ever come of it yet. I usually just use the nail of my finger to do some random squiggles.
I've been writing Winnie the Pooh on those things for awhile now. Probably 90% of my transactions and its even on the back of some of my cards. Never once have had anything said.
I love the old ones with the black backgrounds that you can see what previous people signed really hard. You can see some disturbing stuff on some of then.
I will sometimes put a smiley face with its tongue sticking out next to my signature. I haven't gotten any problems with that, yet.
If I'm carrying something in my dominant hand, I'll sign with the wrong hand. This takes a lot of effort, since its not my writing hand, and the results always look nothing like my signature.
Thank goodness no one will ever have to deal with Circuit City's ancient POS signature capture system. You know, the one where they slide the bottom part of the 4-foot long receipt into the plastic frame, and you sign directly on the paper but it somehow transmits your signature to the box beneath it? Those things never work, either when I worked there or when I was a customer, and you'd end up having to sign over your own signature seven scribbly times until the computer accepted it. Good riddance!
Janis Joplin and other random famous people have been known to use my card at the Walmart self checkout. You can write pretty much anything on some of these card machines.
Never mind my normal signature makes the machines go nuts at certain stores. Oh, and I can't use a debt card or write a check at Old Navy until I guess correctly what old former phone number they have on file as matching my card.
The entire retail POS system is a joke.
You guys need to post the whole story on your site, because you totally destroyed this guys blog.
@nicemarmot617: I started laughing also - I rarely follow a link to the blog - but this story sounds funny enough... I just have to read more.
CLASSIC!
I'm signing as Pepsuber next time I go to Wally World/Target/etc.
I used to draw a middle finger sticking up when I worked at BBY every time I made a purchase.
@LastVigilante: I thought that was only my local one. I always thought it was funny an electronics dealer had those ancient machines and looked so out of place.
At some places, I don't think it's the signature so much as the act of signing that matters. Where I work, they use similar EFT terminals (by Veriphone, I think) and if you look at the computers in the back where transactions records are kept, when you pull up an order, the agreement begins "By signing below, I hereby authorize..." etc. etc.
@coan_net: I read a story on some other blog a year or so ago about a dude who went around writing "Did Not Authorize" in his signature box. It wasn't until he tried to buy $5,000 worth of crap from BBY that somebody spoke up.
This is good to know. I, also, have recently taken to drawing pictures instead of signing my name. Mostly, it's pictures of trees and houses, like something a kindergartner would be proud of.
It would be horribly embarrassing to get caught drawing dirty pictures on a signature machine. It would probably be even more embarrassing to be with somebody else who got caught drawing dirty pictures on the signature machine.
K
@mythago: It's target. I would think it is expected.
Still not cool though. I just wouldn't work there.
Link dead :(
Yuppers. Amazing how a penis cartoon can fry one's server so quickly.
Warning: the image after the jump is cartoonishly NSWF in a Comcast-at-the-Superbowl sort of way.
Never Sign With (F)allus?
i do this all the time. except i draw a full on penis and a girl's head on the other side.
i've never had a problem with a manager and if i did, i would take my transaction elsewhere.
sometimes a good laugh is worth just walking away empty handed on a transaction :P
This sort of prank was done and blogged about a long time ago...
still, it's fun to see an alternate version.
I can't tell if this was already left in the comments, but I like this site's version of "funny credit card signatures" a lot better from years ago:
I often write stuff like "I am your heathen goddess"or sign religious figures names. No one's ever called me out on it.
When I worked at BBY, on a slow night I bought a soda with credit and drew a very elaborate, detailed picture of a spaceship orbiting the earth while the cashier was engaged in a conversation. I said "ready" when I was finally done, expecting the cashier to actually look at what was on the signature screen considering how long I'd taken to do it. He just tapped the approve button and off it went. Still have the receipt.
hmm, perhaps if he followed up by drawing a condom over the penis the manager woulda been satisfied???
From what I understand, signatures are NOT used to authorise the purchase - they're to have on file in case a purchase is contested, at which point it is compared to the one that the CC company has on file to see if it looks like yours or not.
That said, considering the chargeback potential, stores are mad not to check.
"My balls itch" FTW! This guy is great.
My signature is basically my first initial followed by a line, and when buying shoes from DSW once it rejected my signature and said it wasn't long enough. The cashier had no way to override the error so I drew a smiley face after my signature to make it happy.