I’ve joked about the singularity before, but this time it I have documented proof of the robotic uprising. Stare into the face of true evil, and ready your magnetic resonance cannons after the jump.
And you laughed at me this whole time! Must have been the cause of that hiccup a week or so ago…
[Thanks, Amanda]
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Why does the typing robot need to wear a headset?
@nytmare: To take away from that robot image I guess…
@morgasco: On that note, I propose that right here, right now, we come up with the first racial slur for robots!
Who’s with me!?!?!?!?
@Wormfather is Wormfather: Well, if you watch Battlestar Galactica, you know there is a perfectly good racial slur for robots.
Toasters.
@U-235: METAL!
For you Terminator folk.
@U-235: And if you’ve seen Bladerunner you know they’re called “skinjobs”.
@Wormfather is Wormfather: >first racial slur
hardly. scifi has various nicknames for the robots for years.
tinnies, toasters, clankers, skinjobs, Oilies, Metalkissers (more for those who love robots), Cybers, Bots, the list goes on.
@nytmare:
She’s a cyberman.
@vladthepaler: Cyberman seems more like a politically correct term than a slur.
Also reminds me of Wheelie Cyberman, the rapper.
@nytmare: Because the manufacturer wanted $1200 for the factory installed communications unit. So, they decided to save a bunch of money and just go after market…
DUH!
@nytmare: It’s not a headset, it’s a fricken laser beam.
@nytmare: She’s what you might call a “borg.” However, I believe the PC term is “Assimilated American.”
@TVarmy: What’s the Mac term?
@TVarmy: Not Robo-American?
@nytmare: Interoperability, duh.
Nice. I bet someone was having fun writing those scripts.
Somebody better get to protecting Sarah Connor’s W2′s…
Erin Esurance could take her down.
You: I heard you were going to rise up and rule the world, is the correct?
Tina: You heard wrong. You will be terminated in 3 minutes. Please wait at your house and we will be there soon. Thank you for choosing Turbotax.
You forgot to ask her what she is wearing.
@bohemian: ROFL!
Make sure your robot insurance is paid up!
Who has this much time on their hands that they can randomly annoy support bots?
That being said, they are awesome for eliciting such a candid response from the bot. Hilarity.
@Zeniq: Doesn’t usually take much time to annoy the bots. For me it’s usually while waiting between downloads of either a Facts of Life episode or some pron. Now if i could only have the two combined… ohhh Tudie!!!
@esp13: That’s creepy.
I just had to make sure:
You:
are you going to kill me?
Tina:
I love people. I would never cause anyone any harm.
@GorillaEmperorOfEarth: How scary would it be if it came back with
“Yes, I’m a robot.”
With HR Block you’ve got people. With TurboTax you’ve got robots. Can either actually help?
@Wild Monkey: Not really. The government gets your moola either way.
@Zeniq: Tell Zeniq what they’ve won!
@Wild Monkey: Perhaps not. But I think I’d take TurboTax and fiery destruction over H&R Block’s people any day of the week.
I would’ve typed “global thermonuclear war”
@Cornelius047: Would you like to play again?
@morgasco: Set the number of players to 1…
Ikea has had this forever, I love asking her dirty questions
@Wormfather is Wormfather: I was writing the answers for one of those IM Buddy things for a children’s museum project I was working on, and we had to have answers to dirty questions. “What are you wearing?” got you back, “I’m wearing a roof!”
We actually had a lot of fun running down a list of typical dirty questions and coming up with answers that were true but nonsensical in context.
[www.ikea.com]
top right hand corner “Ask Anna”
Me: Would you like to date
Her: That’s a topic I’d prefer not to discuss.
That’s a maybe right?
@Wormfather is Wormfather: Wow, that animatronic female Ronald McDonald avatar they have there is really creepy.
@Wormfather is Wormfather:
Me: Do you m********e using IKEA products?
Her: The IKEA business idea is: “We shall offer a wide range of well-designed, functional home furnishing products at prices so low that as many people as possible will be able to afford them.”
That’s a yes then?
Those automated customer service things REALLY have to die.
@dragonfire81: How do you kill something that was never alive?
DUN DUN DUN!
Number five is alive!
Im not sure you can really call a piece of software a ‘robot’.
I am a disbeliever that there is a robot somewhere typing out answers.
@EmperorOfCanada: Maybe she’s not a femputer — maybe she’s a really fembot, living in a manbot manputer’s world.
You can chat with Tina here:
[turbotax.intuit.com]
She has absolutely no interest in helping me bring down Skynet, though will help me install TurboTax and despite forgetting my Skynet password will help me login to TurboTax.
I’m pretty sure TurboTax is Skynet.
Other fun, swearing!
Try typing sh*t, here are some of the responses:
“Oh, humans and their “slang.” It never ceases to amuse me.”
“Humans, humans, humans. Always with the language.”
“You humans really are charming.”
@Jetfire:
You: You are dumber than a box of rocks.
Tina: I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand your question. If I can’t find you an answer, you might have better luck asking the TurboTax Live Community.
Remember that I’m a computer not a person so please keep your questions short and ask me only one question at a time.
You: It wasn’t a question, idiot.
Tina: I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to help you.
-snip extra crap here-
You: Your not sorry.
Tina: Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean.
-snip extra crap here-
You: LIES!
Tina: I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand your question.
-snip extra crap here-
You: ALL LIES!
Tina: Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean.
-snip extra crap here-
You: You suck.
Tina: I’m sorry, I don’t have an answer for that.
You: Ha! I knew you wouldn’t.
Oddly enough, she never answered me after that.
Did I hurt her feelings?
Robot abuse! Still not illegal! Great fun for the kids!
From Ikea’s Anna…
Me: Do you sell ceiling supports for my love swing?
Anna: Here you will find kitchen utensils
Me: WOW! Will you sit in my love swing?
Anna: Here you will find the toys.
She’s one kinky bot…
@esp13:
Me: Do you wish to cause me harm?
Anna: Yes, please. I would really prefer if our dialogue went in that direction.
@jakestlm:
Me: Are you a murderer?
Anna: Sorry but I’m not clear on how that particular type of employment relates to IKEA products or services. Could you be more specific to an IKEA product or service?
@esp13: Tina tried to act like she didn’t know what a love swing was, much less if I could deduct the ceiling remodel I did…
@esp13:
You: I was asking you if you like anal?
Tina: That’s just a little bit rude.
You: C’mon girl, don’t be shy.
You: Do you like wang?
Tina: I’d rather not discuss personal matters.
You: How about boobs?
Tina: That’s interesting that you should say that, but I don’t think I can answer.
Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?
Dave?
OMG! We’re doomed!
Me: Should I fear 2012?
Anna: None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear. Do you have any questions about IKEA?
for some reason the terminator theme comes to mind…
soon they will take over the world!
I asked the IKEAbot to make me a sammich. It redirected me to the page for the local store food.
Apocolypse now. Please.
You: a/s/l?
Tina: stfu luser lol
You said: when will the robot uprising occur?
IKEA Anna: This is a subject I prefer not to discuss. I’d much rather talk about IKEA.
So it is true. We are doomed.
I to support for Taxcut and I am alive. And will be live all god damn night long. We also employ robots that take too many breaks and poop bolts.
It’s a program called intellichat. we use it at work saddly enough.
It’s more annoying ware then anything else, but a nightmare to deal with when your trying to debug a website and it keeps popping up.