Turbotax Robot Is Alive: These Are The End Days

I’ve joked about the singularity before, but this time it I have documented proof of the robotic uprising. Stare into the face of true evil, and ready your magnetic resonance cannons after the jump.

And you laughed at me this whole time! Must have been the cause of that hiccup a week or so ago…

[Thanks, Amanda]

Comments

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  1. Nytmare says:

    Why does the typing robot need to wear a headset?

  2. idip says:

    Nice. I bet someone was having fun writing those scripts.

  3. hunter3742 says:

    Somebody better get to protecting Sarah Connor’s W2’s…

  4. Yossarian says:

    Erin Esurance could take her down.

  5. coan_net says:

    You: I heard you were going to rise up and rule the world, is the correct?

    Tina: You heard wrong. You will be terminated in 3 minutes. Please wait at your house and we will be there soon. Thank you for choosing Turbotax.

  6. bohemian says:

    You forgot to ask her what she is wearing.

  7. friendlynerd says:

    Make sure your robot insurance is paid up!

  8. Zeniq says:

    Who has this much time on their hands that they can randomly annoy support bots?

    That being said, they are awesome for eliciting such a candid response from the bot. Hilarity.

    • esp13 has a pony named Steve says:

      @Zeniq: Doesn’t usually take much time to annoy the bots. For me it’s usually while waiting between downloads of either a Facts of Life episode or some pron. Now if i could only have the two combined… ohhh Tudie!!!

  9. GorillaEmperorOfEarth says:

    I just had to make sure:

    You:

    are you going to kill me?

    Tina:

    I love people. I would never cause anyone any harm.

  10. Wild Monkey says:

    With HR Block you’ve got people. With TurboTax you’ve got robots. Can either actually help?

  11. Cornelius047 says:

    I would’ve typed “global thermonuclear war”

  12. Wormfather is Wormfather says:

    Ikea has had this forever, I love asking her dirty questions

    • Eyebrows McGee (now with double the baby!) says:

      @Wormfather is Wormfather: I was writing the answers for one of those IM Buddy things for a children’s museum project I was working on, and we had to have answers to dirty questions. “What are you wearing?” got you back, “I’m wearing a roof!”

      We actually had a lot of fun running down a list of typical dirty questions and coming up with answers that were true but nonsensical in context.

  13. Wormfather is Wormfather says:

    [www.ikea.com]

    top right hand corner “Ask Anna”

    Me: Would you like to date
    Her: That’s a topic I’d prefer not to discuss.

    That’s a maybe right?

  14. dragonfire81 says:

    Those automated customer service things REALLY have to die.

  15. segfault, registered cat offender says:

    Number five is alive!

  16. EmperorOfCanada says:

    Im not sure you can really call a piece of software a ‘robot’.

    I am a disbeliever that there is a robot somewhere typing out answers.

  17. Jetfire says:

    You can chat with Tina here:

    [turbotax.intuit.com]

    She has absolutely no interest in helping me bring down Skynet, though will help me install TurboTax and despite forgetting my Skynet password will help me login to TurboTax.

    I’m pretty sure TurboTax is Skynet.

    Other fun, swearing!

    Try typing sh*t, here are some of the responses:
    “Oh, humans and their “slang.” It never ceases to amuse me.”
    “Humans, humans, humans. Always with the language.”
    “You humans really are charming.”

    • ViperBorg says:

      @Jetfire:
      You: You are dumber than a box of rocks.
      Tina: I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand your question. If I can’t find you an answer, you might have better luck asking the TurboTax Live Community.

      Remember that I’m a computer not a person so please keep your questions short and ask me only one question at a time.

      You: It wasn’t a question, idiot.
      Tina: I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to help you.
      -snip extra crap here-
      You: Your not sorry.
      Tina: Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean.
      -snip extra crap here-
      You: LIES!
      Tina: I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand your question.
      -snip extra crap here-
      You: ALL LIES!
      Tina: Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean.
      -snip extra crap here-
      You: You suck.
      Tina: I’m sorry, I don’t have an answer for that.
      You: Ha! I knew you wouldn’t.

      Oddly enough, she never answered me after that.

      Did I hurt her feelings?

      Robot abuse! Still not illegal! Great fun for the kids!

  18. esp13 has a pony named Steve says:

    From Ikea’s Anna…

    Me: Do you sell ceiling supports for my love swing?

    Anna: Here you will find kitchen utensils

    Me: WOW! Will you sit in my love swing?

    Anna: Here you will find the toys.

    She’s one kinky bot…

    • Tvoretz says:

      @esp13:

      Me: Do you wish to cause me harm?

      Anna: Yes, please. I would really prefer if our dialogue went in that direction.

      • Tvoretz says:

        @jakestlm:

        Me: Are you a murderer?

        Anna: Sorry but I’m not clear on how that particular type of employment relates to IKEA products or services. Could you be more specific to an IKEA product or service?

    • esp13 has a pony named Steve says:

      @esp13: Tina tried to act like she didn’t know what a love swing was, much less if I could deduct the ceiling remodel I did…

    • ceriphim says:

      @esp13:
      You: I was asking you if you like anal?
      Tina: That’s just a little bit rude.
      You: C’mon girl, don’t be shy.

      You: Do you like wang?
      Tina: I’d rather not discuss personal matters.
      You: How about boobs?
      Tina: That’s interesting that you should say that, but I don’t think I can answer.

  19. GuinevereRucker says:

    Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?

    Dave?

  20. esp13 has a pony named Steve says:

    OMG! We’re doomed!

    Me: Should I fear 2012?

    Anna: None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear. Do you have any questions about IKEA?

  21. ceez says:

    for some reason the terminator theme comes to mind…

    soon they will take over the world!

  22. Nick1693 says:

    I asked the IKEAbot to make me a sammich. It redirected me to the page for the local store food.

  23. JGKojak says:

    Apocolypse now. Please.

  24. halloweenjack says:

    You: a/s/l?

    Tina: stfu luser lol

  25. dakotad555 says:

    You said: when will the robot uprising occur?

    IKEA Anna: This is a subject I prefer not to discuss. I’d much rather talk about IKEA.

    So it is true. We are doomed.

  26. Ultraorange says:

    I to support for Taxcut and I am alive. And will be live all god damn night long. We also employ robots that take too many breaks and poop bolts.

  27. huginn says:

    It’s a program called intellichat. we use it at work saddly enough.

    It’s more annoying ware then anything else, but a nightmare to deal with when your trying to debug a website and it keeps popping up.