Starbucks To Launch Instant Coffee

Do you like instant coffee? Oh, so you’re the guy. Well, this is great news for you, dude. Starbucks has made a “breakthrough in soluble coffee,” and it will be bringing it to a cafe near you. The chain is expected to announce the product, called “Via”, next week.

From Crain’s New York:

Starbucks will begin testing the soluble coffee — a term that conjures up images of instant brands such as Folgers, Sanka and Brim — by selling it in Starbucks cafes as early as next month. It’s unclear as yet whether the company will also extend the product to supermarkets, where it already has a presence with ground Starbucks-branded coffee.

We wonder if they’ll follow in the footsteps of Folger’s and run some sexist advertising to go with their announcement.

Starbucks poised to launch instant coffee [Crain’s New York]

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  1. Saboth says:

    I feel so fortunate to dislike any and all hot liquids, especially coffee. It saves me a bunch of frustration, money and confusion. When I buy a Mt. Dew, I know it will taste like Mt. Dew, not dependent on what aged beans were used, how long it was brewed, if the filter was good, what temperature it was served at, what ingredients go into it…also it costs $1 vs $4.

  2. chrisjames says:

    And Starbucks will find a way to burn their instant coffee as well.

  3. albear says:

    That’s harsh, and so is her coffee. LOL! That comercial is wrong!

    • I_have_something_to_say says:

      @albear:

      Interesting how ads have changed over the years isn’t it? If I told my wife her coffee was crap I wouldn’t have to worry about her ever making it again :-P

      • emis says:

        @I_have_something_to_say:

        The other week I told my GF that I didn’t her coffee because she made it too strong… few days later she gave me a cup, it was better… I got to the bottom and there was what looked like grounds, I said “I think the filter broke”, she said “no, that’s dirt, don’t complain about my coffee”

      • Shadowman615 says:

        @I_have_something_to_say: lol!

        “WHY DON’T YOU JUST HAVE THOSE WHORES AT YOUR OFFICE MAKE YOUR COFFEE FROM NOW ON!”

      • JulesNoctambule says:

        @I_have_something_to_say: I’ve told my husband that his coffee-making skills are lacking, but that hasn’t stopped him from trying! I like my coffee, as a friend put it, ‘hot and dark enough to tar a roof’ and his is weak. Fortunately, we have a French press so he can’t screw up too badly.

    • Snarkysnake says:

      @albear: @Shadowman615:

      He could trade some of their Mountain Grown for a little “Mount & Groan” ?

  4. ryan89 says:

    So they announce value meals…layoffs…and instant coffee all in the same week? Do they even HAVE a marketing department?

    • Drowner says:

      @ryan89: I find it impressive that dispite all this Starbux is still maintaining it’s “Coffee for the refined 20-something IBanker in all of us” image. Reminds me of a college friend who continuously tried to turn trips to the dollar store into a novel, fun outing in an effort to make herself feel less poor about going to a discount store to get toilet paper.

      Having no money effects every business the same. Now is the time to scrounge!

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        @Drowner: Dollar store trash bags were the best thing I ever got from the dollar store. They smelled like vanilla and were the perfect size for the bathroom trash cans, so you don’t have to do that weird fold down thing and then the bag covers the entire top half of your trash can.

        In retrospect, the vanilla scent might have been deadly in some way, but it was minor. It certainly beat spending $4.50 on a box of Hefty trash bags. Why would I need extra strength for q-tips and makeup sponges?

        I like the dollar store for the quality things you can find. It’s all about knowing what to buy and where to buy it, and having the knowledge that you win in the long run because you’re saving money, and that’s more important than preserving some kind of image people think you should have.

      • Robert Synnott says:

        @Drowner: I’m sorry, there is no such thing as a refined investment banker. Investment bankers are the OPPOSITE of refined.

    • hovy says:

      @ryan89: Who do you think got laid off last year?

    • Trai_Dep says:

      @ryan89: @ryan89: Word.
      Regardless of how good it is (I’m doubtful), the associations with this are all wrong.

    • riverstyxxx says:

      @ryan89: I thought the value meal scam was stupid too. Who the hell eats oatmeal anymore?

  5. bbagdan says:

    I actually like good quality, over-strength, instant coffees. Particularly if you add condensed milk. YUM!

  6. mcmunchkin says:

    Instant coffee in other countries is pretty good. We don’t have any “pretty good” brands here. Maybe that will change.

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      @mcmunchkin: Some of the best coffee I’ve ever had was powdered mix stuff in the Czech Republic. Amazing stuff, all in a little powder pack.

    • richcreamerybutter says:

      @mcmunchkin: In Japan you can find a set of disposable cups, and packets of coffee, creamer, and sugar all in one package. Sometimes they even include a special linen cup holder!

    • VeiledThreats says:

      @mcmunchkin: I’m fond of the Nescafe I used to drink in Ireland, I prefer it to brewed coffee.

    • TVarmy says:

      @mcmunchkin: Interesting. The American brands probably stopped trying once everyone started hating it, saving for the lazy and people with no room for a coffee maker. Thus, it didn’t improve with the technology.

      Now I really want to try this. Any good brands I should look for on eBay or other online places?

  7. menty666 says:

    And starbucks dies just a little bit more…

  8. rtmccormick says:

    starbucks tailspin ftw

  9. evilrobot says:

    i enjoy how non-coffee drinkers occasionally keep a jar of instant around in case someone would like coffee.

    the sentiment is nice, but does anyone really drink it?

    • ArcanaJ says:

      @evilrobot: I do! But only when I want to take a really raspy-tasting trip down memory lane. Ah, instant coffee, the coffee of my youth…

    • Skeetz says:

      @evilrobot: Gah! My parents do that.. except they drink a ton of decalf so there’s always fresh decalf brewing.. and instant regular coffee for everyone else.. disgusting.. i wish they’d just keep energy drinks around for when i visit.

    • richcreamerybutter says:

      @evilrobot: In an emergency it’s fine, but I use Bustelo or instant espresso. Plus, it’s good for recipes.

    • JulesNoctambule says:

      @evilrobot: I use instant for some baking. A little instant ‘espresso’ powder dissolved in some vanilla extract gives a nice dimension to an otherwise basic chocolate cake. Drink it, on the other hand? If I had to choose between my instant Cafe Bustelo and fresh Charbucks, it would be Bustelo all the way.

    • edwardso says:

      @evilrobot: before we got the nespresso I would make an occasional cup of nestle classico. Sometimes I just want one cup of coffee when I get home from work

  10. RZachSmith says:

    I’ve kept some instant around for the purpose of making the occasional mocha milkshake at home, but it would take something impressive to get me to actually drink it as coffee

  11. shifuimam says:

    You know, I read Howard Schultz’s book before I started working at Starbucks (I worked there for three years in HS and college). It seems like the company is doing every single thing he swore up and down they’d never do. It’s turning into the next McDonald’s, for crying out loud! What ever happened to quality over quantity?

  12. Borax-Johnson says:

    It will be SO good that Starbucks will announce that it is ceasing the sale of coffee beans.

  13. u1itn0w2day says:

    LOL !!! ,I read the Reuters story on this .They said it was 20 years in the making LOL !!!

    The best part is that they will be sell 3 packs for 2.95$ or 12 for 10$ LOL .They still don’t get it .

    First ,this was 20 years in the making crap – give me a break .It’s called an excuse , an act of desperation .The sales are plummeting and they’re closing stores and all of the sudden a super secret master plan is revealed … LOL

    Then were back to the Starbucks pricing issues . 3 packets for 3$ or 12 for 10$ .Uh , how many servings in a jar of Folgers for 5$ .Are they going to charge for hot water and cups in Starbucks ?

    I hope this works just to reduce layoffs but really … LOL

  14. laker says:

    i think i just laughed, puked, and cried for women all at the same time after watching that ad

  15. razremytuxbuddy says:

    Starbucks makes the only decaffeinated coffee that to me tastes like the real thing. So, if anybody can come up with a palatable instant coffee, I’d put my money on Starbucks. Whether I’ll pay what they are going to charge for it is another question.

  16. ShrikumariAmphisbaena says:

    Starbucks is no longer for the refined iBanker. That was so 5 years ago. Starbucks is the MacDonalds of coffee now. The little indy guys are beginning to make it again, even in smaller towns. People go to Starbucks for milkshakes, not coffee.

    About the instant coffee… Didn’t coke try this with Far Coast or whatever it was called a few years ago? That was a success, LOL.

  17. barb95 says:

    Wow, Instant Coffee for me is for the older crowd. My dad still drinks it and doesn’t really like the brewed coffee at home.

    But if I am out coffee beans at home, I usually just grab a spoonful of the instant and go. Instant caffeine indeed! ; )

  18. Ariella Kadosh says:

    Yeah. I also read “Pour Your Heart Into it” Theres a huge difference between the Starbucks he is talking about and the one of today. I thank goodness i no longer work there

  19. Chairman-Meow says:

    But the new Starbucks instant has Electrolytes! Its what plants crave!

  20. bohemian says:

    Starbucks is shooting themselves in the foot yet again. Instead of trying to shore up their brand they are trying to be McDonalds. It started when they put automated espresso machines in their stores. Now value meals and this crapola. I looked at their menu in the grocery store kiosk last week. There was more non coffee items than coffee items on the menu.

    Really some of us actually still like and drink coffee.

  21. jgonzz says:

    Instant coffee? I’ll drink it while i eat my juicy and delicious 7-11 microwavable cheeseburger!

    This idea is so bad, it seems fake, like something from ‘The Onion’. Didn’t SBUX purchase the Clover Coffee machine company? Hand built $10,000 coffee machines that make a ‘million dollar cup of coffee’? If I can get the Starbucks ‘experience’ through a dry packet of coffee then it could be sold anywhere. What do you need all those stores for? And your 150,000 employees?

    This thing smells like Vista..

  22. dorkhero says:

    Instant coffee is a myth. An urban legend. When the Air Force closed Project Blue Book in 1967 thy had found that instant coffee does not exist, or pose a danger to our country. I think Snopes.com has a page about it…

  23. P_Smith says:

    The only “instant coffee” is coffee brewed by others before I arrive and order it. Hot water poured onto grains of sand is not “coffee”.

    If there weren’t legal repercussions, I would throw that crap back at anyone who gave it to me. And don’t give me dandruff (a/k/a “coffee whitener”), either.

  24. richcreamerybutter says:

    Holy crap! This is the second vintage coffee commercial I’ve seen in 3 days that features some verbally abusive husband.

    “Good old days” my ass…if the coffee was so bad he should have been wearing it. Maybe the 2nd degree burns would have shut him up.

  25. Kevin Neveloff says:

    That’s probably because their “decaffeinated” coffee has about half as much caffeine as a regular cup of coffee…they should call it less caffeinated instead of decaffeinated.

  26. pschroeter says:

    Walmart’s Great Value 100% Arabica Instant Coffee tastes pretty good to me. I like a lot of milk in my coffee too. When I make real coffee I like the Aerobie Aeropress.

  27. mattstrz09 says:

    They might need to change their name from Starbucks to Starcents.

    …that was a brutal comment..

  28. Razorgirl says:

    I am from the Pacific NW. I am a coffee addict. I used to be a tried-and-true coffee snob. I am now completely addicted to a Vietnamese 3-in-1 instant coffee called G7. Sure, I use three packets for one cup of coffee, but a bag of 22 packets costs me less than $4.00, and the caffeine content is a beautiful thing. Tastes pretty darn good too!

    That said, I still won’t go anywhere near a Starbucks for anything other than hot chocolate. Their beans always taste scorched to me.

  29. nightlawyer says:

    They’re gonna love this in England…a country with an unshakeable conviction that coffee must be of the instant variety. I love how the few packages of grounds (never whole bean) that you find on the shelf over there are labeled “real coffee”

    • P_Smith says:

      @nightlawyer: It sounds like the British tea business is protecting itself by keeping real coffee out, much the way the Japanese rice industry keeps out cheap foreign rice.

  30. Aquasol says:

    This is bloody hilarious for any former employees. During training, the company went out of its way to prove that fresh-brewed > freeze-dried(duh).

    Maybe if Starbucks would drop Hear Music, it would help some? At least when I worked there, CDs sold horribly– to the point that very few people were willing to even STEAL them.

  31. ZukeZuke says:

    Starbucks has Jumped the Shark!!

  32. Smorgasbord says:

    They stole my idea. If I owned a restaurant I would ask my customers if they would prefer instant coffee and a greatly reduced price, or the brewed kind at the regular price. The majority would win.

    The waitress would bring a dispenser to the table, and the customers would put in as much coffee as they want.

    It would save the businesses a lot of money because of the time saved and equipment not needed.

  33. maevealleine says:

    mmmm i can’t wait to taste crappy starbucks coffee in an even crappier instant flavour.

  34. gman863 says:

    Starbucks instant coffee? Gee, what a surprise. It’s about as unique as the frozen Boston Market, TGI Fridays and White Castle products that have been sold for years in almost every grocery store in the US.

    Starbuck’s demise is based on people waking up and realizing a cup of Starbucks Grande Venti Mocha whatever isn’t worth the price of a full meal at a fast food joint — and McDonald’s capitalizing on this by rapidly adding higher-end coffee drinks that sell for roughly one-third of Starbuck’s price.