Congressional testimony reveals that Stewart Parnell, owner of the Peanut Corp. of America which lies at the center of the investigation over salmonella-tainted peanut-butter that’s killed nine people, is like a living cartoon.
Prodding workers to ship knowingly salmonella-tainted products, Stewart Parnell, Peanut Corp. of America owner, said they should be able to “turn the raw peanuts on the floor into money.” When he shipped products off to customers before getting test results, and then the test results indicated contamination, his response was, “Uh Oh.” And as we already know, when lab results started reporting contamination, his response was to find a different lab that wouldn’t.
Just give him a wax mustache and a train track and he’s set to go!
Ninth death associated with nationwide salmonella outbreak [Consumer Reports Safety Blog] (Photo: portorikan)







At least he’ll be going to “federal pound me in the @ss prison” for a while after this.
@Jenkinsbball: We shall see if that is true or not.
@shoelace414: Between PCA’s glacial response to the problem and his email tracks, the guy’s pretty much wrapped it up for himself. His only out will be big misconduct on the part of investigators, or maybe a jury stuffed with Wall Street CEOs.
@Jenkinsbball: What are you, nuts? This will blow over and he’ll become CEO of like, ConAgra or something.
“The board is greatly looking forward to the tenure of a CEO with a profit-driven record like Mr. Parnell’s.”
@InThrees: “What are you, nuts?“
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE and snickered to myself.
@howie_in_az: “snickered” to myself. Oh, crafty! snickers!
… ok, maybe that wasn’t anything.
@howie_in_az: “I (…) snickered to myself.”
Snickers satisfies!
@HunterZ: Kudos. Oh! It keeps going!
@HunterZ: Unless it’s the special PCA Snickers. Then the results are something less than satisfying.
@Hands: Diet Snickers! You’ll definitely lose weight when you’re crapping your brains out!
@howie_in_az: “I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE and snickered to myself.”
I see what YOU did THERE, but I don’t have another pun.
@InThrees: @howie_in_az:
He’ll probably make a huge PAYDAY off it, like a bonus 100 GRAND or something ridiculous like that.
… Oh wait, there’s no peanuts in 100 Grand.
@Jenkinsbball: Yeah, he’ll be sharing a cell with Madoff. Sure…
@Jenkinsbball: Peanut butter lube. That is all.
@oneliketadow: “Peanut butter lube. That is all. “
Crunchy or extra crunchy? we’re all out of smooth…
@Jenkinsbball: In /some/ countries they kill your for things like this. Those countries look pretty good to me, when I hear about this sort of soul-less leadership.
@Elijah Perez: Considering we’ve outsourced everything else lets try outsourcing what we do to corprate white collar criminals… I hear the death sentence in china feels rather satisfying to watch!
I don’t think “Total Jerkface” is quite the term I would use for someone who killed 9 people in the name of greed…
@Ninjastorm66: Don’t forget injuring 600 others.
But yeah, definitely not the right term.
@Ninjastorm66: “Total Jerkface” is exactly the word I would use for someone who killed 9 people. But that’s just me.
@liquidnumb: No, Total Jerkface is something I’d use if he was shipping out rancid peanut butter that was just gross. Killing people calls for Ultimate Jerkface or something like that.
@Ninjastorm66: You’re right.
How about “that guy who was beaten to death last week.”
@KyleOrton: or “that guy who was forced to eat pure salmonella next week”
@m4ximusprim3: my brain just imploded… you mixed tenses!
What are we, China? Throw this guy into jail, seize all the assets, and make an example of him.
@CyrusOpeth: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but right now I wish we were China. They killed the guy behind the tainted melamine thing, didn’t they?
@projoe1979:
Why yes they did!
@projoe1979: Killed more then one IIRC.
I don’t think a county with “death buses” is one that we should be emulating.
@tande04: Oh, but aren’t we emulating when we taint our food for profit?
@tande04: It sure as hell would scare the shit out of souless execs that KNOWINGLY do atrocious things like this because they think they’re going to get bailed out of it in the long run. Well, never mind, they are getting bailed out…
@CyrusOpeth: It’s time for corporate crime to be treated the same as any other crime. In that respect I think China is doing the right thing. He should be treated no different than somebody who poisons their spouse.
@cuchanu: I agree corporate crime should be treated like other crime, in that the “corporation,” which legally is treated as if it were a person, should be “arrested,” tried, and if found responsible, then suspended from further business activities somehow. Sadly the law is not really written this way.
We could still punish individuals — let’s not rule that out — but it would be nice if we could hold corporations responsible for the havoc they wreak, at a corporate level and with something stronger than just fines. I don’t propose we execute this jerk, but it would be nice if we could meaningfully “execute” PCA.
Last I checked a corporation is not a breathing living thing. At the end of the day, it’s people that should bear responsibility. This company probably employs thousands of hard workers that make crappy money and live paycheck to paycheck. They shouldn’t be punished here if they did nothing. Throw this owner in jail, find a use for the corporate assets, and let these people go back to work. Unless you want to find a stimulus for them too.@LandruBek:
He should be charged with criminally negligent homicide. If they can prove these actions in court, let him hang.
@t-r0y: That’s probably the appropriate charge, or rather the federal equivalent will be. Given the email trail this case should be easy to prove by a halfway competent federal prosecutor.
@t-r0y: Somebody get Jack McCoy on the phone NOW
@t-r0y:
Or just have him eat his own product…
@Starfury: LOL!
@t-r0y:
The problem is, he wasn’t negligent. He knew that tainted product was shipping. He *ensured* it. So he wasn’t negligent.
@NightSteel: I think it should be murder. He knowingly sent out a contaminated product that could kill. Furthermore he had to have known his products were going to end up in institutions where the chance of someone dying was going to be greater. I just hope he doesn’t end up going to club fed. He needs to have a male rapist for a cell mate. Emphasis on MATE.
@NightSteel: Negligent: neglect, carelessness.
He carelessly shipped his product and neglected to recall it… sounds like negligence to me.
@t-r0y: See the name “Peanut Corp.”? Those four letters C-O-R-P spell a lot of protection for that slime ball Parnell. This is not China where we execute business-men that are not related to party officials.
In any case why did the companies that recieved shipment not test? I know that the MARS factory in Chicago tests all peanuts and milk that come in (at least they did in the ’80s) before it comes off of the truck.
@mzs:
… C-O-R-P spell a lot of protection for that slime ball Parnell.
Are you sure? I think it will protected Parnell financially, but criminally? If that were true, I could incorporate and commit crimes and let the company take the fall.
…why did the companies that recieved shipment not test?
Good question! I’m sure that they will be doing that now. Should they take some blame. I don’t think so. You’d have to prove that they either knew about it or suspected it. To some extent, theses other companies have to rely on their supplier, and the FDA (who was the regulatory agency responsible). Should we carry it further and require the stores to test all products that they sell? Should consumers be require to start testing before feeding it to their children? Where does it end?
But PCA and Parnell aside, the FDA FAILED. They had a responsibility and they blew it. Maybe they aren’t criminally responsible, but I think they are culpable and they need to be held accountable for their failure. But they’ll probably get accolades for their response after the fact.
@t-r0y: 9 counts of 2nd degree murder for “depraved indifference for human life”, plus 660 or so counts of assault.
@varro: I know it was a serious comment about a serious issue, but….
You unintentionally (?) made a peanut pun.
I just love how he sat there pleading the 5th after they’d heard testimony from a guy whose mother had survived cancer and a brain tumor only to fall to salmonella.
In earlier, more simple times the dude would have gotten a square punch in the jaw for douchebaggery of that magnitude and no one would have seen nothin’.
@concordia: That’s EXACTLY what my grandpa said.
“I’da walked right on past, yessiree.” – Grandpa
@concordia: In even *earlier* times, he would be hanging from a tree with a mob around him with pitchforks.
@concordia: I’m surprised he doesn’t have federal protection right now. If I was family of one of the 9, he’d be getting the Jack Ruby treatment.
@nbs2: No he wouldn’t have testified because he would have fled (to multiple ditches in the everglades).
Where’s Jack McCoy with depraved indifference?
@brettbee: After I posted my comment, that’s the first thing that popped into my head!
Guys, this is America. He’ll get off with a slap on the wrist, some silly-huge severance package, and can live happily ever after.
Rich people do not go to jail.
@Daniel Parmelee: I dunno about the severance package. This company really isn’t that massive and the civil suits will wipe him completely out if he doesn’t end up in jail for criminal charges (which I surely hope he does).
@Daniel Parmelee:
He’ll fake his death like Ken Lay.
@Daniel Parmelee: Tell that to Martha Stewart. She’s a billionaire and went to jail for a few thousand dollars worth of insider trading.
@tinmanx: Ah, but see, she is a WOMAN. You can’t get off scot free unless you’re a man, doncha know?
@Daniel Parmelee: Sadly this is probably the truth.
“No one is above the law” … well in America plenty of people are! Anyone in power, and anyone with money.
@Daniel Parmelee: The cops would be all over him, but they’re busy arresting people for renting a house in which michael phelps may have toked up.
maybe once they get to that hardened criminal, they’ll look at this so called “peanut murder” situation.
@Daniel Parmelee: You’d probably be right if he was the CEO of a major financial company of some sort. But this guy was the owner of a Peanut Butter plant company that will likely go belly up after this whole thing is said and done (through loss of business and the inevitable civil suits). He’ll probably also spend a lot of time in jail b/c I doubt a peanut butter factory owner will have any connections or special interests that will pull strings to get him off light.
Can we get one of those Chinese death vans for these guys? Seriously. They have NO reason to live.
@ForrestWhitakersLazyEye: As long as said punishment is severe and swift, I’m all for it.
@fashionista: Swift? On the contrary, I hope whoever delivers said punishment takes their time.
Nine cases of negligent homicide that can not be served at the same time on top of whatever criminal and civil charges the fed and victims are going to go after him for.
I think that, while he is in jail, they should serve him only peanut butter from the batches that were recalled. If it’s good enough for us to eat, it’s good enough for him!
@AlteredBeast: I like the way you think.
Pump out those Spacely Space Sprockets at any cost.
“SIR! SIR!!!”
“What is it Thompson?”
“Johanssen just fell into the mixer and was pulverized with Batch # 24380!”
“My word! This requires immediate action! Get marketing on the line, we need a flashy graphic that says ‘Now with more protein!”
What disgusting is he probably won’t even be up for the death penalty despite killing 9 people and sickening hundreds more on purpose. Probably won’t even get life. Rich people have it made.
please this will blow over then in another year. Then some other product will get recalled people will complain about whatever government organization failed the politicians will make a big show for reelection and the cycle will continue.
What’s a “Plantowner”?
@RandomHookup: Isn’t it kind of like a banana?
@Yossarian: no, that’s “plantain”. Plantowner is someone who lays out streets for new cities. Hence Plan-Towner.
@RandomHookup:
It’s a compound word, like maximunsecurity or lifeinjail.
This guy should be jailed while awaiting whatever further court proceedings are in store for him. If they do lock him up though, I’m sure he’ll be out on bail in a Jiffy, and if that happens, I bet he Skippy’s bail and ends up in a country with no Extra-Chunky treaty. That guy is Smooth.
@MyPetFly: He’ll probably get out of this jam with a huge spread somewhere in some bannana republic.
@m4ximusprim3:
High five! Down low!
I hope he, whoever else is responsible for making the decision to ship a tainted product, and whichever lab passed the tainted product, should be made to pay for:
1. Funerals and medical costs of those who died
2. Medical costs of those who received, or are receiving treatment, for salmonella
3. Cost of goods to clients for the merchandise pulled from shelves (and presumably destroyed)
I wouldn’t jail them — they’d be completely broke, suffering, and shamed to the point that they wouldn’t even want to go out.
@Sunny Yeung:
Shamed? You give them way too much credit…
Rat bastard deserves to rot in jail. Every day he gets three peanutbutter crackers, and has to eat one before he gets anything else.
@HalOfBorg: Nice. It should be something even worse, like having to eat a whole package of “Nutter Butter” for breakfast every morning for 20 years.
No chaser.
I pray the rat bastard never makes it to prison much less trial, that some highly unstable relative of one of his victims prescribes his/her own form of vigilante justice; that it is a long, drawn-out and extremely painful affair. I would pray that it should include the use of salt, a coarse wire brush, tin snips, zip ties, a blow torch, an air compressor, an IP camera, a large net-audience a large jar of salmonella infected peanut butter, and some rabid rats.
Too bad this isn’t China (not often I get to say that) in the fact that he would be executed to set an example to others who may try and profit from the shipment of tainted food.
Personally I think he should be criminally charged and the penalties as if he did murder those 9 people. He knew he was breaking the law. He should be charged!!
The way the guy is described as a living incarnation of evil cartoon character reminds me of Judge Doom from Roger Rabbit movie.
Just you wait and see. The longer this kind of vermin is left free, the more difficult it will be to get anything out of him. I bet he is right now in a frentic process to transfer any and every thing he owns to his wife, friends and family, so when it’s time to get some money in lawsuits for the victims he suddenly doesn’t own a thing worth taking.
But this really isn’t so much different from all the bank bosses sweetening their own deal while others end up in huge debt beause of their irresponsible business practices. Certainly, nobody got killed outright by their actions, but millions of people will have much less money in the future, and that lack of funds is bound to cost several poor souls their lives because of inability to afford health insurance or medical procedures.
Why do so many business people show such complete lack of ethics and moral values? Do they teach that in business school?
Someone who knowingly poisons people for their personal desires would be tried as a criminal.
This monster:
(1) intentionally ignored laboratory results clearly indicating the presence of salmonella.
(2) decided to “lab-shop” after the initial lab gave him the results he didn’t want to hear.
(3) could have requested all the delivery of this tainted material to be halted but instead knowingly sentenced countless, innocent people to pain, suffering, and death.
(4) not to satisfy his dysfunctional desires but for a profit.
Say hello to Hitler for me….
Maybe closer to Boss Hogg just with a bad toupe…
[www.telegraph.co.uk]
I do find it funny that the peanut thing broke about the same time as all this fiancial mess and reporters can easily better package the story about “poison food” than an exotic bail out…
Were I the prosecutor, I would charge him with nine murders. That would qualify him as a serial killer and well, you can imagine what we could do with him after that.
He cannot claim that the deaths were unintentional. Facts:
1. He KNEW the nuts tested positive for salmonella.
2. He allowed shipment anyway.
To me, that’s murder one.
Corporations are perfectly capable of governing themselves and do not need any oversight.
This was just one of the bad apples.
This was just one of the bad apples I say!!!
No regulation needed!
None!
Not at all!!!
Keep your laws and oversight away!!
Obi Wan Reagan, where are you now? Help me!
Forcefeed the bastard sandwiches made with his own peanut butter and then washed down with Chinese milk tainted with melamine.
The PR China is a brutal regime that kills people on spec for organs to sell to tourists, but in this case, their attitude toward execution might be spot on and should be adopted for people like the scumbag in question.