Great Moments In Commercial History: FarmersOnly.com

Reader Laurie nominates these two commercials for a rural dating service. Farming is so lonely.

Laurie writes:

It’s hard to beat these (can’t decide which version creeps me out more) commercials for a “rural” online dating service. The first couple of times I saw them, I thought they had to be a gag. They weren’t. All I can say is, I’d rather be lonely. Or preferably dead.

Ah, the country. We did a little Googling and found an article about people who use the site and their heartwarming intolerance for “city folk,” “freaks,” and “faced-paced, two-faced, game-playing, city slickers.”

“They’re coming from a farming background, and to generalize, I know they’re not going to be a bunch of freaks,” said Marquardt, who grew up on a Michigan hog farm…

SWF, likes long walks in the back 40 [Star-Tribune]


If you’d like to nominate a commercial for our weekly series “Great Moments In Commercial History” send us an email at tips [at] consumerist [dot] com. Be sure to put “Great Moments In Commercial History” in the subject. To see other commercials that have been featured in the series, click here.

Comments

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  1. Closed captioning provided by Homerjay says:

    Thats actually quite clever. Its an interesting niche market.

  2. MalcoveMagnesia says:

    Appears to be real, which for lonely farmers means it’ll work better than [www.adultsheepfinder.com]

  3. Ash78 ain't got time to bleed says:

    Reminds me of that awful, short-lived “Farmer Needs a Wife” show on CW or My Network last year. Terrible.

  4. se7a7n7 says:

    Freaky Fran: I love you

  5. jamesdenver says:

    I agree. Farmers probably share similar values and lives. Why not.

  6. FuryOfFirestorm says:

    All of a sudden, I have Spinal Tap’s “Sex Farm” stuck in my head…

  7. johnva says:

    Why are they trusting those inventions like computers and the Internet that were created by “city folk”?

    • U-235 says:

      @johnva: No, they were created by Al Gore, and he’s from Tennessee… so he’s ok.

    • RandomHookup says:

      @johnva: And computers were first built in Steve Wozniak’s barn. They used cider to fuel the little fans, hence the name “Apple Computers”.

      And now you have…the rest…of the story.

  8. Plates says:

    It is like JDate for goyim hillbillies.

  9. Andrew Dorsett says:

    And after the models where done filming the commercial they returned back to their lavish city lives.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I’m thinking that there should be a whole slew of niche dating sites like this.

    I’ll start the next one and call it “Temporary Lovin'” for all of the temps out there. We do like getting it, after all. Only trouble is, if two temps get married, where do the benefits come from?

    • yasth says:

      href=”#c10573573″>bobert: T’aint sisters no more, parents divorced which means I can do em both at the same gosh time.

  11. StealthySwede_GitEmSteveDave says:

    As a farmer(horse), I find that people are enamored with the concept of the farm life, until they have to muck a stall, or stay up late with a horse w/colic, so they don’t die. Then the “love” of horses fades, which means I’m lonely again.

  12. Canino says:

    Most dating sites let you search by things such as whether someone smokes and whether they have kids. This one lets you search by what animals they can butcher and whether they can castrate a bull.

  13. David Brodbeck says:

    “They’re coming from a farming background, and to generalize, I know they’re not going to be a bunch of freaks,” said Marquardt, who grew up on a Michigan hog farm…

    As someone who has lived in some pretty isolated rural areas, I can tell you that people there can be quite freaky and eccentric — just not in the same self-conscious ways that urban people are. Everyone’s concept of “normal” is established through constant reference to people around them, so things in a small, isolated community can get pretty odd.

  14. Yoko Broke Up The Beatles says:

    Damn right I don’t get it! (I was born in, and still live in, the city.)

  15. Parapraxis says:

    DAD???

  16. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, not like those wholesome meth-lab country folk. Look at the stats – it’s the rural areas that have been hardest hit by the meth epidemic.

  17. OggJoshua says:

    Only rhymes with lonely!

  18. bobert says:

    I get it.

    This is actually quite clever. The marketing is precisely targeted at a group that is not adequately served by other online dating services: single farmers with genuine traditional American family values. (Which are not necessarily the “traditional family values” the Republican party bleats about.)

    Sure, the TV ads are hokey. I’ll bet they work great, too.

    I’m a highly-educated, multilingual, intellectual, pro-LGBT left-wing Marin County latte drinker. But those aren’t my core values, which are honesty, loving and taking care of my family, being committed to my wife, working hard, and treating the people around me with respect.

    That being the case, if I *were* single, I actually think I’d be more likely to find a compatible person on FarmersOnly than on, say, match.com or eHarmony or (good heavens) craigslist.

    Oh, and if you’d like to see some “heartwarming intolerance” from the urban left, read Consumerist’s ex-sister site Wonkette. Oh, wait, that’s urban snark, so that’s okay.

    • farcast says:

      @bobert: “I’m a highly-educated, multilingual, intellectual, pro-LGBT left-wing Marin County latte drinker. But those aren’t my core values, which are honesty, loving and taking care of my family, being committed to my wife, working hard, and treating the people around me with respect.”

      Umm, those are many city dweller’s values as well. Ass.

    • batsy says:

      @bobert: “But those aren’t my core values, which are honesty, loving and taking care of my family, being committed to my wife, working hard, and treating the people around me with respect.”

      So all farmers share those values? I think you’re just as likely to find a loving, committed, respectful person on any other dating site.

  19. Bailen says:

    Most farmers I know don’t have access to the internet… Some are still on party lines, now what?

    • humphrmi says:

      @Bailen: Most? Really? My grandfather was a farmer in New Mexico, and he switched his party line for a dedicated line back in the ’60’s.

      I’d say “some” party lines still exist, but certainly not enough to impact the market for farmers.

      My bet is that farmers are more internet connected now than ever. Quick and cheap commodities pricing and trading via the internet give farmers an edge.

      Besides, the dating service isn’t concerned with solving the internet access dilemma for farmers. They are just betting that enough farmers are online to give them a good revenue stream. It’s all a matter of numbers.

  20. Wombatish says:

    Because farmers -do- look like models… the female ones at least.

  21. savdavid says:

    So she is walking with a tight shirt on through a field wistfully thinking of that man of her dreams. There is just no way us city folks could understand she is stranded on that farm with no hope of a date without Farmersonly.com

  22. shirkitraven says:

    Several years ago I joined this service for a while, didn’t pan out too well, but I’d completely forgotten about it.

  23. Quilt says:

    I grew up in the city, then later moved to a more rural area for college (go figure). It seems to me that rural folk don’t seem to have too much trouble hooking up. The guys and girls are a little bit more forward about the whole thing.

  24. P_Smith says:

    I would have thought that if a farmer had internet access he’d be going for a mail order Asian bride.

  25. Raving Rabbid says:

    I’ve run into these on the MLB Extra Innings package during Cincinnati Reds games.

    They even have versions of these ads where they list the people and their names who’d just met on FarmersOnly.

  26. FrankReality says:

    Wow, there’s a lot of ignorance in this thread.

    Those of you who haven’t spent any time on a real farm really ought to visit one sometime. The dumb, hayseed farmer is long gone except maybe a few elderly ones.

    Most are now computer-literate, have internet access, some have dedicated satellite systems for tracking markets. It’s not unusual for farmers to have a 4-year university degree in agriculture or agribusiness.

    Big operators now have GPS mappings of their fields of varying soil conditions so that their equipment can automatically adjust fertilizer and herbicide usage to the soil. And the technology for self-driving combines based on GPS coordinates is not far off from the field.

    Dairy operations now have automatic milking systems which track the amount of milk each cow produces, how many times the cow is milked per day (the cows choose how often they are milked) – all computerized with reports. These systems also monitor the cow’s health and warn the operator when a cow is suspected of being ill. The systems are programmed to reject the milk of the sick cows. Feed and manure management systems are also automated.

    Some communities sponsor farm tours periodically – if yours does, take the tour sometime. You’ll probably be impressed with what you see.

  27. Country_RFD says:

    There certainly is a great deal of ignorance about rural life isn’t there? Farmersonly.com claims to have 100,000 members. Yet, the site only boasts of 75 marriages. That’s not a lot. But it is better than nothing. Many farmers who post on that site are divorced and simply looking for a companion. Why is that so bad?

    Some people who view and comment on these commercials treat farmers as if we aren’t even human. That we are some sort of bumkin or hayseed. More than a few people who post profiles are very highly educated. A few doctors, veterinarians, teachers, computer specialists, writers, nurses, musicians, and even the occasional world traveler. Not hardly your stereotypical redneck is it?

    I actually did meet a very nice girl, (who is now in the process of reopening a lakeside resort) on that site and over the next month or so she expressed her concern of urban dwellers and their “diseases”. Frequent divorces, single parent families, total lack of a father, and kids running rampant with no hope of living a normal life. and one meaningless “hook up” after another. How do you urban folks defend that and still call yourselves civilized? Pigs don’t even act that way.

    It is an unfortunate fact but there are more than a few farmers who sign up on that site as a last grasp at finding someone before they call an auctioneer to sell their farm. That might sound extreme but yes, that does happen. It’s amazing how many rural towns can glorify and celebrate their faming heritage with county fairs and parades but when it comes to actually keeping that history alive,…. nothing. The farmer is ignored and no one seems to want him anymore. They want to be like their urban brethren and stick their noses straight into the air at the mention of cows.

    Farmers feed the world and for some strange reason will continue to do so. But why do it alone?

  28. LatimerFantazmical says:

    Consumerist is so lame! They repost crappy articles from other sources that nobody cares about.

    They would rather post crap like:

    Disney To Sell Eggs For Some Reason

    Wendy’s Gourmet Mushroom Swissburger Menu Picture V. Reality

    How To Tell If Your Spam Came From Russia

    Most of the articles they repost and are not even well researched. The article about spam did not even mention anything about how to tell it was from spam. Not to mention that there was no mention that due to economic downturn there would be thousands of unemployed Russian programmers who might become cyber criminals because of that (all that was in the original source, not the 2nd source that was badly misquoting that Consumerist used).

    It seems Consumerist only cares about the amount of posts they get and not about quality. Its all about advertising impressions for them. I offered them to publish original story about how a company tried to take me for collections in 2008 for charges which were to start in 02/2009. I resolved the issue on my own and wanted to warn readers of Consumerist about fraudulent tactics employed by this company but the great Ben Popken would prefer to post stories about Disney selling eggs, or that Wendy’s burger’s dont look like the ones shown in commercials. Every person with even little intelligence knows that none of the fast food products ever look like they do in commercials. What you see in commercials is often not even food.

  29. Anonymous says:

    I actually recognize “Lonely Tony in New York”–he’s an actor who played one of the Palestinians in West Bank Story, an Academy Award-winning short film from the Oscars ’07.

  30. Captain Packrat says:

    You’re never lonely when you have sheep.