Consumerist's Super Bowl Ad Liveblog

The super fantastic Super Bowl ad liveblog kicks off now! Click this post’s title to go inside…

This Hulu player, which you may or may not see depending on how slammed their servers are, is supposed to be updated with the most recent ads after they air:

If you can’t see it, hit refresh or CastTV has all the ads up.


10:27 Ok I guess all the $3 mil ads are over. WINNERS: Denny’s mobster one, Denny’s nanapus, Cars.com, and both Coke ads. LOSERS: GoDaddy – for proving that it is possible to have too much breasts – all the Budweiser ads featuring Cyldsedales – get over it! it’s just a freakin’ horse- and Vizio – because you know what even if your ad is just a voiceover with text, I think it still costs you three million dollars. And with that, I’m out. Thanks for hanging with us! – Ben
10:23 Did he just thank Obama?
10:19 NetJets – If you’re not enough of an asshole to buy a jet, rent one with us.
10:18 HAHA “nanapus!” Denny’s had an ad where there was a banana peel being puppeted by strings and like singing “nanapus, nanapus.” Then it got stomped and they said, “Ready for a serious breakfast? Denny’s.” Actually, no, I am not ready for a serious breakfast, more banana puppeting please. Anyone know who did Denny’s ads? I want to make them a charm bracelet. UPDATE: It was Goodby, Silverstein and Partners.
10:17 Etrade baby plays golf.
10:16 You know, the Heineken concept is inspired by Dos Equis “The Most Interesting Man In The World” series, I believe.
10:14 I though the Smart Balance butter ad was going to be like an astroturfing thing by the fast food industry about why trans fats are good.
10:14 USA network comes in with their own multi-cast commercial. USA network is all about programming bargains.
10:11 Some say the pass was totally incomplete. See, it was more important for American self-esteem for the steel industry to win, it was a hidden rider in the stimulus package. Come the economic apocalypse, birds can still pick the eyes of the dead if they have to – but what’s steel going to eat?
10:09 Steelers win! Ad agencies lose.
10:07 I guess it’s now safe for me to start drinking my snobby trappist ale.
10:05 NBC has now officially switched to “the game is more interesting than the ads” mode.
10:02 Touchdown! 26-23 Steelers.
10:00 WHOA great catch by the Steelers in the endzone! Is it good?
9:59 GoDaddy – “because chicks never buy domain names”
9:58 dtenery re: GoDaddy ads: “seriously, does danica patrick need money that bad? it’s sad… 1 step forward with women in racing and 2 steps back with women only being useful to sell things if they flash their rack”
9:53 GoDaddy comes with another ad that’s about boobs for no particular reason except for the fact that they’re known for being the guys who run Super Bowl ads that try to show lots of boobs. At least this year they didn’t have the Jr AV Club president edit it between 3 VCRs.
9:53 Bud Light Lime – tried trope – the product travels and creates glowing effect in its wake.
9:52 Note to the Chuck ad-writers: If they were in 1-D, they’d be dots. You know, like pinheads or something. Chuck is supposed to be super smart and he doesn’t even know basic geometry?
9:50 Oh and for anyone watching the actual game, the Cards just pulled ahead with a major play with 2 and change left to go in the 4th.
9:48 Could “punching the koala” supplant “jump the shark” as catchphrase?
9:47 Denny’s website is also slammed. I predict an article in NYT’s business section tomorrow chewing the cud on what it means for America for advertisers to not have their servers ready for the so-called “advertising your URL on the Super Bowl” effect.
9:41 A tipster says that was the only Miller High Life ad. Just Wendell saying, “High Life!” Sad. I had high hopes for that campaign. At least they stuck to their “we’re not gonna waste a bunch of money” ethos.
9:33 The Pepsi ad is the McGrubber spot from last night’s SNL. “PEPSUBER!” All brands taste more delicious combined. It’s like having a forkfull of steak speared with pineapple and dipped in gravy!
9:33 GE wind energy – full of hot air.
9:30 drjayphgk: “You missed the most important detail from the Cash4Gold.com commercial: MC Hammer still owns pants.”
9:29 “Cerebal gelatinizing shows” may have post-game stickability.
9:28 Alec Baldwin: “You know what it takes to sell streaming tv on the internet? Brass balls.”
9:27 Did you know Hulu’s secret headquarters is located inside the HOLLYWOOD sign?
9:26 Vizio gets hit by karma. Talks smack about other tvs, but their server can’t handle the surge.
9:24 GE – Wizard of Oz strawman rolling around in power transformer. Guess he really does have straw for brains. Good thing they didn’t try it with the Tin Man.
9:23 Taco Bell concept: Fast food -> “fast” relationships.
9;23 VIzio makes it so your tv is talking smack about itself.
9:21 spitfire6234: “The Super Bowl spot—in which Jack is hit by a bus—ran only once and marked the beginning of a campaign that will include several more TV spots, broad online advertising, a dedicated site at http://www.hangintherejack.com, updates via social media sites like Twitter and Facebook as well as mobile alerts, in-restaurant signage and integration across existing product advertising.” Really? That seems like Jack In The Box trying really really hard. Note to marketers: social media doesn’t care about being engaged if your product totally sucks.
9:17 CASH4GOLD!!! What’s the over/under on MC Hammer actually still owning gold-plated anything? Hammer Time! I tried sending in my gold-plated parachute pants to CASH4Gold and they wanted to give me 1/3 of what my local pawnshop offered.
9:17 Coke Zero Mean Joe Green remake.
9:16 “Finance or lease a new Hyundai, and lose your income in a year, and you can return it.”
9:13 A tipster informs me that in the Miller High Life 1-second ad Wendel just goes, “High Life!” Will there be more so the joke can keep building…?
9:12 The Jack In The Box spokecharacter gets hit by a bus at hangintherejack.com. Unfortunately, it seems their servers got hit by a bus as well. Ooh, is that supposed to be meta?
9:11 The super smart people at the Chuck store confuse 2d with 1d. And actually, they’re still in 3d, jerkoffs.
9:10 I think I just missed the Miller High Life ad.
9:08 Still no Miller High Life 1-second ads. Maybe they’re all subliminal.
9:07 AXMEN. The History Channel continues it’s move away from WWII documentaries towards reality television. “Full-contact learning!”
9:06 I think this Heineken guy is related to Dan Hesse, what with the walking towards camera and talking.
9:05 Is this NFL ad still going on?
9:01 Amusing Conan O’Brian spot. Tina Fey: “If your Conan lasts more than 3 hours, call a doctor.”
9:00 The animated insect kingdom bands together to steal a Coke from a sleeping picnicker. 5,000 Korean animators died making this commercial.
8:58 Careerbuilder.com has unique narrative format, and koala punching.
8:57 Transformers: “This time, they’re really frickin’ evil.”
8:56 I’m still waiting for an ad to wow me. Remember when even FedEx would show up on gameday with monsters and lasers and space assassins?
8:53 Audience favs so far according to SpotBowl.com: Denny’s, Coke avatar ad, Bridgestone Moon Buggy, Land of the Lost.
8:51 Coke ad explainer – in a digital world where everyone is a fake representation of themself (“avatar”) stay true with Coke. Remember? Their 1971 slogan, “It’s the real thing.”
8:41 Race to Witch Mountain remake. Close encounters of the 3rd kind meets Transporter 3.
8:40 I guess this is like Budweiser’s Black Beauty spot.
8:37 Monster.com – the boss has a mounted head in his office, then they pan to the cubicle drone and the moose is still attached and the ass in is his face.
8:37 Denny’s free grand slam this tuesday 6am to 2pm on tuesday – and they had the best commercial so far! Mobster-types at diner keep getting their “gonna wack this guy” monologue interrupted by waitress schloomping whip-cream happy face on pancakes. Funny unto itself, and impressive showing by Denny’s.
8:36 Bridgestone ad – astronauts drive their rover over the moon to the tune of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch’sSORRY – house of pain’s “jump around.” Then they like go out for McDonalds or something (on the moon) and when they come back their craft is up on cement blocks! It’s hard to get spare tires on the moon.
8:36 Coke ad where everyone is an avatar except for those who drink Coke. In all seriosuness, that’s actually pretty deep.
8:31 Don’t get mad about taxpayer money paying for that Chase ad. They saved by only using two colors.
8:30 re priceline ad: gitemstevedave: Wouldn’t putting a dart in your ear be a bad idea? Even if Shatner is on the other end?
Ben Popken: but what if it could save you tens of dollars on airfare?
gitemstevedave: Well, a little blood in your ear canal is worth $30.
8:26 In my region, Brian Williams just said in an NBC 4 commercial, “I’m 4 New York. You got a problem with that?” I guffawed.
8:25 Ok it’s local ad time!
8:25 Is the Raymour and Flannigan commercial I just saw local or national?
8:24 Chase will interrupt your tween textmessage spree with balance updates, and you’ll prefer it!
8:22 Universal Studios ad again. You can look like Bruce Willis if you vicariously live your fantasy through your child’s.
8:21 Overtsock ad. Something involving an athlete using a computer.
8:20 Do you want Shanter as your Cyereno? Priceline thinks so.
8:20 Nothing like talking ’bout trannies in a hardcore man pickup ad.
8:17 Is the part of the show where they’re really singing about Obama?
8:16 Half-time is the time to pound more caffeine.
8:10 See all the Super Bowl ads in easy-to-peruse format at Casttv.
8:09 “Official primate count for the first quarter is 7 chimps and 1 monkey.” -chimpsahoy on Twitter.
8:05 Stars of Heros show play football against football legends. Hard to win against a team where one of the guys can stop time.
8:04 Nike football network. Guy runs through different seasons and settings and wears different Nike the whole time. Looks nice visually but meh for impact.
8:04 Sprint Nextel Connect: What if Roadies ran the world? I dunno, everything would start late because the people in charge are too busy smoking meth out of a lightbulb in the bathroom?
8:01 Yep, there will be no US-Automaker ads this year, having been edged out of the running by infinite pancakes juggernaut, Denny’s.
8:00 You know what saves dying mediums? Gimmicks! How long before we get a spate of scratch-n-sniff television?
7:59 Football players are effete, until they drink Sobe!
7:58 Is the ad for the movie about the big blue one-eyed monster for kids? Just repeat that slowly. Big, blue, one-eyed monster, for kids…
7:57 LOAD YOUR 3-D GLASSES!
7:54 Captain Duvel Moneycat, stop trying to get on my laptop. You don’t have editor privileges. Bad kitty.
7:53 There haven’t been any ads for American cars yet, and there may be non at all. Nobody wants to get accused of using Bailout bucks to buy Super Bowl spots.
7:47 Miranda July eats Cheetos??!?!
7:46 I know it’s the Super Bowl but these ads are getting more and more sexist. Which brave advertiser will figure out how to make a hilarious gang-rape commercial?
7:43 No, it’s not a rerun of the Potatoheads ad, and no, Jay Leno’s license plate does not say, “FAIL.”
7:42 If you don’t get flowers through Teleflorist, the Jerky Boys might start doing ventriliquist tricks on the recepient with them.
7:42 Not even Death likes H&R Block.
7:41 Uh-oh, Captain Duvel Moneycat is trying to get in on the blogging.
7:39 If you drink enough Bud Light you star thinking that you can draw shapes on a long-distance objects and they will exist in reality.
7:38 It’s a Pixar movie where a grumpy old guy’s house begins flying away on balloons. Sort of like Howl’s Moving Castle without the anti-War On Iraq undertones.
7:36 Get your glasses ready! Here’s the SoBe 3D ad. Click “watch in HD” and you’ll be able to watch it in full 3D effect. THREEEEEEE Deeee! At the end, a giant pick-axe shoots out at you.
7:35 Etrade baby ad. Won’t let buddy sing “fix these broken wings.” Um ok I guess that was a little cute, but I was expecting a lot more.
7:34 Missed the Hyundai ad because I had the TV muted and was looking at the SoBe ad online.
7:28 The Gatorade ad is for a social network that’s just for people who drink Gatorade…
7:22 Cars.com ad is kinda like a mini-Wes Anderson movie. I approve this message.
7:22 They’ve been teasing this “G” ad. Just the other day I figured out that it was going to be for Gatorade. And yes, it’s for Gatorade.
7:15 gitemstevedave says, “Living on a horse farm, I can tell you she’s in for some dissapointment. Stallions only “last” about 20 seconds.”
7:13 STAR TREK! The movie. Spock is gonna deathgrip you while flames explode all around.
7:12 Budweiser horse wants to get it on with white wine spritzer mare.
7:10 Cylydesdales fetch giant tree limbs. Budweiser.
7:10 Pedigree. No comment. It was pleasant.
7:09 You’re able to withstand extreme violence if you drink Pepsi Max, the first Diet cola for real men.
7:07 GoDaddy again with the lame sexy fantasies.
7:06 Doritos. When you eat Doritos, girls clothes get ripped off, money shoots out of ATMS, and cops turn into monkeys. Again with the monkeys. Then when your Doritos run out, you get hit by a bus. Random violence scores well in focus groups.
7:05 Will Ferrel in Land of the Lost. And I thought it was “Will Ferrel robotrips and makes a movie about it.”
7:03 Castro oil. Another safe bet: “Hey, you can’t go wrong with monkeys.”
7:02 Fast and Furious 239.
7:02 Bridgestone ad features Mr Potato head and wife not hitting pack of sheep. Then her mouth falls off so she’ll stop bitching.
7:01 Etrade baby is tweeting.
7:00 Pepsi ad: No, it’s not an ARMY recruitment or a Scion ad.
6:56 Hulu just added a bunch of ads.
6:56 via IM: “about that pepsi ad, my girlfiend thought it was an army ad that featured dylan”
6:55 All the best ads so far seem to involve breaking glass.
6:52 Toyota Venza, the car for black yuppies.
6:51 Haha Conan does “only seen in Sweden” bud Light ad. Sort of like Siegrfriend and Roy’s illegal dance party.
6:48 Ok, so EyebrowsMG tells me this is the deal with the Audi ad concept, “The guy in the Audi ad was the guy in the Transporter movie (Jason Statham) … he drove a BMW in the first one and an Audi in the other two, which is why he “progressed” from a BMW to an Audi in the commercial.”
6:44 Doritos ad. Smashes into vending machine, then into someone’s nuts. When economic times are dire, advertisers retreat to the safe bets, like people getting hit in the nuts. No promotion for you!
6:43 Pepsi ad bridges generations via cultural artifact videos juxtaposed against each other. Nice looking, but feels more like something that would open their stockholder meeting.
6:41 Audi ad like a chonological montage of all sorts of cool movies with chase scenes in them. Ending with “Transporter.” I guess they didn’t think anyone would get the “Tommy Boy” reference so they made sure that movie’s title was up on a marquee.
6:40 Apparently Tom Hanks is starring in a remake of The Davinci Code.
6:39 Bud Light cutback ad. “How about we stop buying bud light for every meeting?” Then the guy gets thrown out. I read a book recently that people are the most receptive to buying when they’re sad.
6:38 I’ve just been informed that the bastards at Safeway in San Jose, CA ran out of 3D-glasses.
6:34 An NBC Thursdays ad up before it airs during the Super Bowl. The concept is Thursday comedy night is so funny, you’ll laugh your ass off, literally. Before you watch it, though, you’ll have to watch an ad.
6:32 My AIM is benpopken if you want to harass me with your drunken commentary during the game.
6:30 Geneis coupe racing around track with Smashing Pumpkins song. Looks like it’s so people will go to a microsite (edityourown.com) and edit their own Genesis Coupe ads. If they’re smart, they’ll not enable people to add their own text.
6:27 The $3 million spots kick in after kick off.
6:24 Hyundai Genesis coupe ad. It’s the 2009 North American Car of the year, and it has the ability to drive through dim highway overpasses and be mentioned in the same breath as Lexus and BMW. The question is, can it beat Knight Rider in a knife fight?
6:24 Chuck Heroes Medium dance party.
6:23 Ronald McDonald House. Kid runs through soft-focus house wearing sweater. A sweater injected with 100% beef tallow.
6:22 Avon – join our multi-level-marketing fun program! It’s Bernie Maddoff, for chicks!
6:22 Oh noes they knocked over the Eiffel tower. WHAT IT’S A GI JOE movie. Will Cobra = Al-Qaeda?
6:19 Who are you rooting for? Personally, I have all my money Miller High Life.
6:18 Supposedly the ads were supposed to be up in real time on Hulu.com. Not seeing it. Maybe they’re waiting for the good ones to start.
6:14 They’re using the Lipstick Jungle theme song in the movie Duplicity.
6:13 Subway – five dollar foot longs! Set in construction site.
6:12 Verizon dead zones ad set in car rental place.
6:11 Geek Squad runs the same super bowl install service ad they’ve been running. What they didn’t show is that while everyone’s celebrating the tv install, the Geek Squad guy is rifling through your nightstand for nudie mags.
6:10 Lebron James almost misses big game, but luckily State Farm sent a chick with an old guys voice to wake him up.
6:08 Adrants has a live twitter stream on their site so their readers can make witty comments in real-time on the front page. Kinda neat.
6:06 Hyundai – dunno was too busy writing about acne. Something about insurance and sepia tones.
6:05 Oh snap, if you take steroids you’ll get a big pimple on your forehead and everyone will think you’re a loser even if you go state.
6:04 Subway – a button bursts off a ladies pants and nearly kills everyone in a 1-mile radius.
6:04 Sprint phone turns into a stadium. Looks like somebody likes tilt-shift photography.
6:03 Kay jewlery ad. Nothing to see here, looks like any other Kay ad.
6:02 Man look at that golden ball rise out of the river. Excalibur reference, or just garden-variety phallo-worship? Is there a difference?
6:00 Ok the chick is singing the intro, every ad after this point is fair game.
5:59 Did you get your 3d glasses? If not, you’ll completely not be able to understand the Sobe ad, which uses futuristic 3d technology.
5:54 A reader IM’d me to say that his roommate is drunk and just mailed in the Monopoly iron to Cash4Gold.com.