Talk about a book that keeps you on the edge

My aunt gave me that piece of crap snake-oil-in-print for Christmas last year. I took it back to the bookstore and told the clerk that if the return couldn't be processed, she could have it to destroy as she saw fit. She admitted being a little disappointed when the computer gave her the go-ahead.

It's those unadvertised extras that really make it a quality product.

and his/her other reviews are pretty funny too. I really like the one for the 2 gallon galvanized bucket.

I'm going to have to get back and read the other 2 reviews then... just the 1st had me in stiches!

This man needs a job, and soon. Preferably paying him multiple millions of dollars straight from Paris Hilton's personal trust fund.

@JulesNoctambule: You're just mad 'cause your copy didn't come with a shiv.

He doesn't need a job! He needs to stay a long time on Amazon, filling my reviews with hilarity. I think the gallon of milk reviews are the best.

@magic8ball: I could have used it on this year's present, a copy of Twilight! As it is, I'm saving it for when the woodpile gets low.

I loved both the review and this comment:
"Got shiv. Shipped fast and works well. A+++++ Will buy again."

I saw this on College Humor and I thought at first this person was making up a story using pieces of the movie "Let's Go To Prison."

But reading it all the way it sounds pretty legit.

I obviously had ... a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system

lol I don't know why exactly but this is pure gold to me. I cant stop laughing at that statement.

Brilliant.

"...deep and intense disrespect for the postal system"

That made me lol!

@JulesNoctambule: why the hell did your aunt give you a self-help book for christmas? "gee thanks. this is perfect since, you know, i'm clearly such a loser. boy do you know me." wtf?

Please hire Ari as a guest commentator or anything that allows us to see his writings.

Can't believe no one saw review for a whole year.

Great way to start a Friday! Going to Barnes and Noble and see if they have this edition.

This is just too funny. This definately made my day a lot more enjoyable.

Wow. Life altering stuff.

(I don't know anyone who's into that shit who isn't batshit crazy and an idiot. You have to be both, it's part of the curse.)

You douchebags. Love the book. Reported it to amazon.

My husband and I gave homemade stash boxes made of stacks of hardcover books as Christmas gifts this year ([craftzine.com]) so I shopped at Goodwill and Salvation Army for books no one would want. There were a couple copies of The Secret there, but I couldn't even bring myself to pay $1.49 and then cut a big hole in it with a scroll saw. (Which, by the way, is fun.)

We put bags of pistachios inside, but perhaps toothbrush shivs would have been more festive.

@admchnty: What's really sad about you in general is that the top three reviews (as determined by the readers based on usefulness) say that the book is a sham. Amazon won't remove the review. Their reviewers will spend far too much time laughing and sending it to their friends to mock this stupid excuse for writing.

@JulesNoctambule: Your aunt gave you The Secret AND Twilight? Does she hate you, or is she just ... impaired?

that review makes me wonder: was he paid to write a kiss-my-ass, best-book-ever, review for Amazon?

@techgoddess: This comment makes me wonder: did you read the entire review?

I love how he mentions the names of his "friends," Jim Norton (comedian) and Jim Anchower (fictional character from theonion.com, who holds various jobs week by week).

I think the lesson I learned here is that; society has created a prison mindset by which eliminating self construct, therefore we as a collective must use the sword in conjunction with the pen, in order to convey to our keepers the wrongs in which they have unjustly beseeched upon us through our own self creation.

@Skankingmike: Or he's bored. But, you know, your way works too.

The best! Thank you for sharing this!

@magic8ball: Clueless; I think she throws darts with our names on the at the best-seller list every year. My ultra-athletic cousin got a diet book!

@LucyInTheSky: My husband and I had a good laugh about it. Clearly, with my successful marriage, new house, own business and comfortable life, I need some help!

"Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15"

GOLD!

@m4ximusprim3: INCONCEIVABLE!

The "Law" of Attraction at work! It's clearly obvious! He knew he was slated to be a prison bitch, used the LoA to think of a way out, and the Universe, being the almighty cosmic vending machine that it is, bestowed upon him a Shiv to stab a guy in the neck with. I guess the "Law" of Attraction allows for bodily injury of another.

Or the guy could have simply given him the book knowing the shiv was in it, and may not have given a shit for the contents. Occam's Razor, anyone?

LMAO! Best book review ever.

@Macroy:
Seriously! LOL