Fired? Suck Up To Your Enemies
Here's a cheeky guide for sorta-lazy people to survive being laid-off. Number one: Kiss the ass of ex-coworkers you hate.
Your former boss took credit for all the work you did and then got you canned to save her own ass. The intern who's resume you pulled from the slush pile was promoted the day you packed your boxes. And the owner of the company continues to rake in millions while you're now forced to subsist on cans of beans you're too sad to heat up before eating. But while you might want to send off emails telling these people what kinds of unspeakable acts they should be subjected to, resist that urge. Instead, swallow what small amount of pride you have left and send them polite emails telling them how much of a pleasure it was to work with them. You never know when they'll be hiring again, after all.
- or when their friends will. You can also send the same email to people you enjoyed working with, too, works just as well, if not better. But maximize your chances by not neglecting even those you found loathsome.
7 Essential Steps to Surviving a Post-Layoff Existence [FastCompany]
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Comments:
@ViperBorg: Whats disappointing is when those people drop off the radar too without justice being sort of served...
Isn't this common sense whenever you leave a job? In the same vein, you never know when you'll wind up working with someone again, and being an ass when you leave will just lead to people talking about what you said.
Do your best not to burn any potential bridges. I work in the insurance industry (claims) and sometimes get calls from across the country asking for references or references about someone I used to work with. It's stunning what a small world it is that we live in.
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Do NOT take it personally and wig out, it will only come back to haunt you in the end.
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Go home, have a drink and a good cry, then move forward.
All very good advice. After my 2006 layoff I landed a dream job on Craigslist I never thought I'd be qualified for, and ended up back at the place that canned me working part time as a consultant for about 4x the money. All because I didn't throw a fit.
The one job where my relationship with management went sour is *still* the one job so terrible I'd rather be on welfare. I was seriously considering quitting to go on welfare while I was at it.
No way.
This was long ago idiomized as "don't burn bridges."
Now I'll forever think of that face when I read Ben's articles.
My biggest regret is that I did not keep good ties with my former co-workers at Cingular [now AT&T] Wireless. I left the company on less than stellar terms but I was pretty much in a position to where it was either I leave or be subject to probable termination. I left, believing I had found another job but that fell through. I scrambled to find work but it took me two months to find a decent job with regular hours and pay.
If I could go to work for either AT&T, T-Mobile, Verizon - even Sprint! - I would. Why? I love the industry and I enjoyed my time working in B2B sales. Now......now I'm working in a completely different arena. I'm well outside my comfort zone, making less than what I believe I'm worth, and ultimately screwing my family over with what I believe to be in the end sub-par benefits.
I guess I'm just having a bad day.
That has to be the most craven piece of trash I've read in a while. People and institutions treat others like crap when there are no consequences, and this "advice" just makes human beings into wage slave-drones without self-respect. Very often it wasn't a "pleasure" to work certain places and those places need to hear that.
The bridges I've burned were worth burning, because the bridges were some combination of dangerous themselves and/or led to a land you do not want to visit.
@quizmasterchris: I agree. I think columnists run out of things to write, so they come up with these stupid "lists". I've probably seen hundreds of "how to get a perfect resume" or "6 things to make yourself recession-proof" types of columns in the past year. It's annoying and worthless journalism.
I maintain professional relationships even with those I don't like, BUT I WILL NEVER, EVER suck up to anyone. I won't tolerate being sucked up to either.
A suck up has no ethics and can never be trusted PERIOD.
WHAT?!?!?!?
"You never know when they'll be hiring again, after all."
I've been down this road a few times, except my stories are even more outrageous.
Everyone one of those Fuckers can kiss my ass. Seriously, I would NEVER go back to work for them again... Why, so they can throw me under a bus again?
I wouldn't send them an angry missive either.
But seriously, never go to work for someone who has screwed you over because they absolutely will do it again.
In the words of George H Bush, "Fool me once, can't get fooled again"
I agree with the general principle of not burning bridges, but I would never go so far as to suck up to somebody who made my previous job hell. Best case scenario, I restrain myself from telling them to "go eat a trashbag full of d**ks"
@quizmasterchris: @downwithmonstercable:
Yes to the journalistic lemmings all writing about how to save money or make yourself recession proof. In fact by writing this tripe the columnist him/herself is trying to keep their job.
So, should I send an apology for that unfortunate incident surrounding leaving that fecal "mud sculpture" on their desk, or are bygones tacitly assumed? Normally, I'd have left a card just to be on the safe side, but with those FBI squads storming the premises to investigate all those cars set on fire in the executive car park, things got a bit hectic around the office.
@quizmasterchris: Thank you! This article seems to advocate sacrificing your self-worth and setting yourself up to get stuck in a situation just like the one you've left. If you write to people who treated you like shit telling them what a "pleasure" it was to work with them, what do they learn? That you're an employee who doesn't stand up for him/herself and can be endlessly used? That way, when their equally assholey manger friends are hiring, they can say, "Oh, I know someone who'll put up with ANYTHING! I'll put you in contact."
I threw a box of my business cards at the door after I left the office the first time I was fired from a job. (I was twenty, and put into an entry-level position, only to have my supervisor quit without notice two months later, placing responsibilities on me that I had not yet been trained for. I was understandingly overwhelmed.) The president of that company was a bullying, controlling, irrational asshole who screamed at employees for hours at a time. Should I have sent him a nice note? Why would I have wanted to get in the good graces with someone like that? I still think about how horrible he was, and this happened eleven years ago.
On the other hand, I sent notes to my co-workers, but not for any ulterior motives. I was sad and I wanted to say goodbye to them.
@quizmasterchris: Yep, I'd have to tip my hat in this direction as well. Once you allow your superior or coworkers to know that you don't even have enough self-worth to defend yourself, then you're asking for more than ridicule and alienation.
Most of these web publishers are hinging on investors funding their efforts. Many of these investors are people that you'd spit at given the chance and not realizing their positions, but publishers still have to suck it up and bend over.
It's always self-gratifying to defy the norm and succeed. Isn't that how most innovators get their start? By not being homogenous and having enough balls to question the pink bullies of the world.
@quizmasterchris: Usually these lists, even if giving advice to individuals, are ultimately aimed at pleasing the corporate employers who pay for the advertising on the site or in the publications.
well, it's pretty clear judging from the previous posts that a person NEVER forgets when they were burned and by whom. with that being said, it might not be a bad idea to reach out to your former frenemies for some kind of nice present when they least expect it.
Frenemies use this as precaution when planning to burn someone, especially unjustly. Because they are somewhere lurching, thinking long and hard about the perfect time to send you a big box of Gorilla shit. (smiles).
I'm all for not burning bridges.
But I also don't like to burn my dignity.
If I'm treated nicely during my tenure at a job, and the lay-off is done in a professional and courteous manner, of course I'd hold nothing against the people involved.
If, however, they acted like arses to me, there is *no* way I would ever do as this article suggests and "swallow what small amount of pride [I] have left".
The original article is insulting at best, to both the reader's intelligence (it's obvious advice) and to the reader's sense of self worth.
I've been laid off, and my response has not been to cower in my home eating cold beans. I've started a business, done consulting work on the side, and, yes, even re-joined a company with which I had parted ways (on good terms).
from the article:
That Wii you haven't touched in 18 months could probably get you over a hundred bucks on eBay, and your fancy digital camera could easily be sold off as well.
But make sure you list everything else you want to sell on eBay before you sell the digital camera, or you won't be able to take pics for your listings. And you need good pics to sell stuff on eBay.
The biggest thing is "just don't be an ass" when you leave. Sure, it was fun taking a dump on your boss's chair, but everyone in the company will tell that story to anyone who mentions your name, including their boss at the company they went to, the same company you are interviewing at in fifteen minutes.
@Tallanvor: A co-worker of mine used to have a sign over her desk:
"Always be careful, for the toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow."
Practical advice, that.
Always burn your bridges you never know who might be following.
@RandomHookup: Agree, if everyone else is a jerk, why lower yourself to their level? The best revenge in this existance is simply going to to have a good life.
I've only been memorably burned once by an employer (not counting grad school film assholes), but my experience was certainly not unique. She was promoted to head of this media division by default (after her former boss was found to be misbehaving somehow), and still retains a beastly reputation.
Two years later, I was interviewing for another position for the same company working immediately under an old friend, and she was just hanging out in the reception area reading a magazine. She clearly heard my name but for whatever reason she made no eye contact. I had to withdraw my candidacy for the job for other reasons, but have no idea whether she would have had the final say or even cared, since her behavior toward me was par for the course.
I do think there is something to be said for having the balls to obliviously show up on premises knowing a former bad boss might have some say in your future.
@quizmasterchris: Exactly. I'm nice to those who were nice, and tell it like it to the people who were mean. By sucking up, you're letting them know that you'll take anything without having a backbone. It's the same mentality as being bullied. Suck it up and don't respond kids, that way they'll stop. They don't.
I like to live by a rule that it doesn't matter who the person is, I don't care how rich they are or if they're Madonna herself, I'm not going to treat them like royalty because they're just another human being. Screw that.
Bridges have already been burned. Nothing I can do about it now. But this last firing, I took without freaking out, crying, or sending any angry emails. I have matured, and they claimed if things picked up again they'd give me a call. Doubtful as my supervisor utterly despised me, but the ettiquette, however false it may be, made things easier.
But going postal is more fun!