Southwest Airlines have been running a lot of TV commercials in my area lately (even though they don't service New York City based airports per se). They seem to be having a field day, running ads on how fees tack up and adds up to be an overpriced (than advertised) mess.

God, that's a pretty nasty situation for Dean. Any luck with EECB?

And Chris, welcome back! Long time no see!

Swearing at the phone personnel isn't classy or helpful, and it's sort of on him for not checking on the pet-carrying fees. That said, it's ludicrous that the booking fee for using your miles to buy a ticket is almost twice as much as the ticket itself. There's no possible justification for that level of a charge.

Frequent flyer programs are increasingly looking like a waste of time. They do zero to encourage loyalty any longer. I mean, I belong to several, but it's sort of like Social Security: I don't really expect to see much benefit from it.

Amex is the only miles program I pay attention to for this very reason. The conversion rate is not optimal, but I get my choice of airlines (and lots of hotel and other deals too), which results in enough competition that I can usually get a decent flight.

Why would anyone ever bother with United (or any other carrier-specific FF program) after stories like this? If you don't want to pay the arbitrary fee to redeem your "points", you have no recourse other than abandoning the points altogether, and they know it.

Too bad about United, especially since you were one of their few loyal customers left. The legacy carriers can't go bankrupt fast enough.

Great story, sir. I applaud your commitment to a company your father worked loyally at. To see what the airline industry has become is just sickening. I haven't flown anywhere in over five years, after (you guessed it) United decided to cancel my flight, for no reason, about TWO HOURS before departure, you know the time they tell you to arrive at the airport?! They called the house while I was driving there!

I'll take driving over flying any day. At least you can enjoy the scenery, travel on your own schedule, not have to deal with power-hungry, undertrained TSA agents, and actually get a feeling of "getting away".

HA HA. I'm flying from New York to San Diego for $400 round trip on Southwest. I'm flying out of MacArthur.

The Taxi to MacArthur plus the cheaper ticket is less expensive than flying out of LaGuardia or Kennedy.

I say FUCK these bigass airlines. Americans don't know how to run businesses. They are all becoming failures. Fuck 'em in the ear!

This is why I drive everywhere.

Ironic part, though, these airlines keep installing idiotic and pointless fees in an effort to make more money, and yet they constantly fail to be profitable. You would think that with this kind of gouging, they could make money flying the damn planes.

Which begs the questions, where does all this fee money go? It doesn't go to the pilots, stewardesses or mechanics, who have had their pay slashed to ribbons in the past few decades. It doesn't go to the planes, which are old and usually in bad repair. It doesn't go to the gas, which is cheap. It doesn't go to the stockholders, because the stock is shit. I wonder what happens to it all...

When are people going to realize that fees are just forced up-sells? Too bad we can't organize a way to force them to pay fees for contacting us.

I'd love to have a recording that plays before my phone calls that says "You may be charged a fee of $0.01 to $1,000,000 to complete this phone call. Please say yes to indicate your acceptance of the fee and to continue the call."

Too bad that's not enforceable.

Love Dean's comic, been reading it for years. If you go back through his archives, you can see there are many comics related to his frustrations with airlines :)

Sorry to hear this. I also love Greg's comic, been reading it for years, ever since I was first linked to it many years ago when I was playing Ultima Online (and so was Greg.) :)

Backcharge your credit card?

"Considering we'd be taking Selphie both ways, that adds up to MORE than the price of a ticket - just for the privelege of putting a dog carrier under the seat in front of us."

That must be one tiny dog to fit under the seat in front of him. The last few United flights I've been on have been so cramped that you could barely move. How the hell does someone fit a dog carrier in the cabin?

The fees are ridiculous. But in a country this size, flying is often the only option.

But anyway, why pay money to redeem points if that costs more than just buying the ticket directly? Why not just buy the ticket without the points? I don't get that at all. I'm pretty sure I'm missing something here.

@picardia: well I'm sure he wouldn't have cared much if they just raised it an additional 10 dollars like they did last year. It is a bit unfathomable to think that the cost would more than double an already high $85 for each way.

I like how the headline isn't real specific on who's life for which the length the customer is lost. Normally it's the customer's life, but with behavior like this, the customer might just outlive the company.

@picardia: I've found Southwest's to be very good - I have the Visa card as well, and often travel with them. Total cost (at last check) to book a flight with a Southwest rapid rewards credit? $2.50.

Why shudder at southwest? They are the only decent airline left.

@incognit000: Well I would say the problem with these fee's is that they have driven down demand. Before all the fee's flying was a enough of a headache with the ridiculous security. Now you have to play the fee game on top of that and people just say screw it and drive or just not go.

Classic price balancing scenario at work. As the fee's go up less people are willing to fly which at some point means less total money coming in then if fee's were lower. (more people skip flying than the fee's add in profitability)

@Corporate_guy:

Agreed. I'd say Jetblue and Virgin America are pretty decent too. Continental is pricier, but they're upfront about their costs and promise (and deliver) better service in return.

United, AA and Usair should die in a fire.

It's pretty obvious United management has figured out that bankrupcy is the better route for them. Nothing personal, the bad customer service and the bad attitude by the employees is an artful effort by management to have United go under -- they can break leases and sell slots and pocket bonuses. Customer good will has no actual value when management is raiding the core business for liquidation.

United used to be good but now they blow. JetBlue has raised some fees but are still a much better bet if they're going where you are.

@azntg: Doesn't Macarthur Airport out on the Island have Southwest serving it?

"And that, readers, is when the airline killed off one of their better customer relationships."

United's Premier-level customers, who only need to fly 25,000/year, pay no bag fees. I'm thinking this guy isn't close to being one of United's better customers.

There's no question that the pet fees are getting ridiculous, but I think that's United's way of saying they really don't want to deal with pets.

Also note that he could have avoided the $150 fee he got charged to change the ticket by buying a refundable fare. I'm not sure you can really complain about such a fee when you've agreed to the terms by buying the non-refundable ticket to begin with.

"...1st checked bag*: $30
2nd checked bag 50
pet-in-cabin fee 350
booking fee (estimated) 150
travel voucher conversion fee 300..."

I have to say that Mr. Dean does not clearly present his story to make it clear that he's not doing something wrong, and going on a hasty rant with little understanding of what he's talking about. There are a few inconsistencies in what he says, or he appears to be confused, which doesn't help him. So if I may, let me comment on what I understand from his points:

1. They charged him a first-bag fee, and a 2nd bag fee. Well, sorry, but what can you say about that. The fee is now well-known, and there is no way of getting out of that. Other airlines do the same, it isn't just United.

2. They charged him a hefty pet cargo fee. Again, sorry that he didn't like it, but it is a voluntary choice to bring a pet on a flight with you. You don't have to bring the pet with you, and you know the charge beforehand, so what is there to say about it? Other airlines have pet charges too.

3. This is where it gets confusing, or he is leaving out important information. He says that the tickets cost $280, but then he also says he used his miles to purchase the tickets. I'm going to assume that the $280 is some kind of fuel surcharge then, but this still doesn't make sense and doesn't help his rant.

Anyway, he goes on to say that they charged him $150 to book the miles tickets. The reason that there is this charge is because they ticketed less than 7 days before the departure date, and there is a close-in booking fee for that. Greater than 7 days, and it would have been $75, and greater than 14 days, it would have been free. So, it's not like he couldn't have avoided this by planning ahead. Other airlines have last-minute booking fees too.

4. The last point he rants on is about "having a voucher issued to use the credit in the future". And this again shows he doesn't really understand what's going on. He is not being issued some kind of voucher -- basically his travel plans changed, and to cancel the ticket and redeposit the miles back to his account, he was charged $150 per ticket. This is again, par for the course now with airlines. It's basically a change fee, or cancellation of your reservation. The charge may be high, and I agree, but you knew about it beforehand. What is there to complain about now? That's what travel insurance is for -- unexpected things happening. Your decision to not take a flight was completely voluntary, not the airline's fault.

In short, while I sympathize with his frustration at all these fees, many of them were due to his own choices to 1) bring a pet on the trip, 2) not book in advance, 3) change his plans. Regardless of how much it actually costs the airline to do the work behind each of these things, the charges are known and you can avoid then. Almost all airlines have these fees now, so what is the surprise?

I have to agree with blackmage. I used to work for a United Express carrier for many years and watched as United declined and the customers went elsewhere. I am very saddened to see what has happened to the once proud American trunk carriers (now called "legacy carriers") and the industry I once loved.

Please don't blame the employees. Many good people have watched their careers go down the tubes due to poor planning and a total lack of leadership and responsibility by the upper management. Just imagine how lousy they feel going to work every morning. I don't have to.

I don't know where it's going to end, but I think that there's no doubt that it will not end well at all - at least for the employees and customers.

@azntg: Yes and everytime I fly out of Islip its the best experience ever. Granted I live on Long Island and the airport is about 10-15 minutes away but its no hassle and Southwest still has really competitive fares. Just saying

i didnt even know you could bring a pet into the cabin. if i sat in front of him i'd be pretty pissed to have his friggin dog under my seat. what if they have pet allergies?

@gnortenjones: Selphie is a chihuahua. All in all, her carrying bag is smaller than most carry-on bags, and easily fits in front of the seat (The exception being on the smaller CRJ's, where she will often have to just be on the ground underneath our feet. We would just leave her at home, but we know precious few people here in Texas, and leaving her with the ones we DO know for two weeks is kind of an imposition.

I haven't flown United in several years. Even though there is a hub here in Denver and one in Chicago, explain why it would take 6 hours to travel to one of them? Hell I've driven to Chicago in 15 hours. I thought flying was supposed to be faster? Not only that but they want so much extra money to get a direct non stop flight. I think its kind of funny, United is losing money so they tack on fees to get more money and all they do is lose more money. Hmmmm I'm no business major but that doesn't seem like its a right course of action.

Wow that's a huge increase in the pet fees. As recently as August, most airlines were charging $75-$85 fees each way, so this is double or more all of a sudden. And it hasn't been widely publicized at all--presumably because it affects so few fliers.

For me it's a maddening fee. My dog is silent and well behaved on flights, to the point that I've had to inform fellow passengers that yes, there is a dog in that bag, lest they think I'm crazy and talking to my carry-on. I can't say the same for any of the free lap children I've flown with.

The fees, the wait through TSA (what a joke), delays, etc... If my destination is within a 7 hour drive of where I live, I just drive. Have to arrive 2 hours early at the airport, plus typically an 1 hour wait at the gate, plus the always present 1 hour delay somewhere, plus plane change as few trips are non-stop, plus fees, plus getting your rental car. It actually saves time just to drive, and actually when you consider the cost of gas versus airfare, rental car, and hassle you still save money.

@kepler11: Amen. Sad to say, but there were no surprises in those ridiculous fees that United charged.

The OP should have really considered flying Southwest. Almost all the fees could have been avoided by properly choosing the airline that could best meet his travel needs. Clearly, it is not United. Besides, IMHO Southwest offers a much better domestic in-flight experience in coach, and I'm a United 1K.

I have no sympathy for the person at all and consumerist deserves to go down the whole for printing this sensationalist article.

If the person was a frequent flier as he claims he would understand most of these fees. The only thing I do agree with him on is that Frequent Flier Award Flights are pointless, but then they were bordering on pointless in the 90s as well unless you didn't have a schedule to follow.

If you cancel your return flight then the airline must resell your seat to make a profit if they are expected to refund you or move you travel date at no cost. That is why my crazy mother pays alot more than she needs to because her tickets are always changeable at no cost. Cheap 'Y' Tickets or Award Flights are not premium tickets and are subject to fare rules, always have been.

The Bag Check Fees are ridiculous but hardly new or surprising at this point. Choose a Airline that doesn't have them like Southwest... you knew about this before travel.

Rude language also doesn't get you anywhere, and I assume you had a rude attitude from the start. The Consumerist tried to PRETEND these are normal circumstances when they are not. I have been flying constantly since I was 2 years old (though I do not work in the industry at all) and rarely see pets in the cabin. CANCELING (that is the word) part of your itinerary does generally have consequences. And booking online generally saves you fees in regards to Award Travel as well.

@kepler11: You fail...

His whole rant is about how the fees for doing things are costing more than the actual ticket.

Yes, he knows the fees in advance, but why do you have to pay to have bags checked? Don't answer fuel prices, because not only is fuel cheaper now than when they instituted the fees, but most airlines buy fuel as comodities, which means lower, set prices.

What is United doing for him that would warrant $175 in pet carry fees, especially since he is the one doing the carrying? He isn't checking the pet carrier, and I can promise you no one is going to help him carry it on board.

Since a computer system is actually doing the booking for him, not a person, why does it cost more to book a flight 0-7-14 days in advance? (Lets be honest, its database work--seat request, open seat, booked flight, done)

I know airlines have been charging for changing bookings, and if he was close to the date of departure, it would make sense: the airline might not be able to book his seat before takeoff. But when my flight is half a year away, and they carge me the same fee, thats asinine.

The problem is that rather than raising ticket prices to cover costs, they just institute extra fees anytime anything is out of the ordinary (or in the case of bags, is completely ordinary) just because they can.

You are wearing a blue shirt today, thats going to be another $35 please...

@craptastico: Its relatively common, and unless you have serious allergies, its rare that you'd notice. (No dander flying around, not much worse than someone who owns pets sitting behind you with hair and dander on their clothing) Most flying animals are quiet and no more intrusive than a laptop bag.

That said, when I moved cross country, I got to fly with my cat. It was not a good time.

oh, and by the way, if he had flown with Southwest as everyone threatens to do, he wouldn't have been allowed to bring a pet at all, even as cargo:
[www.southwest.com]

Hell hath no fury like a comic scorned!

@Corporate_guy:

Because for whatever reason, many people have an irrational fear/dislike of Southwest. None of them realize that they are by far the best big airline around these days, though.

Though for the OP in this case, they would not be an option since they do not allow pets at all.

@Corporate_guy: But if he tried to take SouthWest with his little dog, he's going to be disappointed...SouthWest doesn't allow pets on their flights.

@craptastico: I have seen lots of lap dogs in little carriers on United in the past few months, and I have wondered the same thing. I usually don't notice until I hear whimpering or barking mid-flight. But there are some breeds of cats that just have to be in the same room as me to trigger an allergic reaction; fortunately cats are not so popular as fashion accessories.

@kepler11:

I may have suffered a bit in the clarity department by writing my rant near midnight, just after getting off the phone. However, you're ignoring a few key points.

I want to point out, firstly, that the straw that broke the camel's back was the notion that I would have to spend $300 in order to make use of tickets I never intend to use.

I did NOT book the tickets less than seven days from my departure date. We purchased these tickets in September, for a December 15th departure. The actual cost of one cash ticket for this flight was $28 round-trip. The excess fees come from a) The booking fee just to purchase MY ticket, which was purchased entirely via credit card, and B) The booking fee and other associated fees in order to use frequent flier miles to purchase a ticket for my wife. It starts to make you wonder what the point of frequent flier miles are when you have to pay upwards of $100 or more just to make use of them.

Now, again - I was not complaining that the excess baggage fee came out of nowhere. I knew about it ahead of time - MY complaint is one of sheer greed. They raised the baggage fees to compensate for high fuel prices. Fuel prices now are lower than they have been in YEARS, and yet the fees remain. Furthermore, other airlines (Such as Air Canada) have just removed the fees they charge for the second bag... so it's not like this is something every airline in the world does.

And you also miss my point on the pet-in-cabin charge. I'm not complaining that there is a charge - far from it, I was more than happy to pay it when it was $75 per direction. My complaint is that they have raised it 133% in ONE fee increase - again, bringing the charge TO PUT A 9-LB ANIMAL UNDER THE SEAT IN FRONT OF US to more than the price of putting my 210-lb butt in the seat itself. And yes, other airlines DO have pet-in-cabin charges. Most of them tend to be reasonable, and considering I'm not ever going to fly United again, I'll get a chance to shop around some.

And again, you didn't read my post clearly, or you're just not paying attention - it doesn't seem to matter whether it's cash or miles, because in order to actually make use of the fairly expensive tickets I purchased, (TWO MONTHS AGO) I would have to pay $300 in additional fees. Not to mention, if I re-credited the miles to my account, to RE-use them in the future, I would be paying an ADDITIONAL $100-$150 in booking fees, meaning that my "free" miles ticket would cost me about $450 in the long run.

I will clarify, also - I did not pay the $300 to re-credit the account. I told him to shove it. I'm considering the ~$500 I spent on the tickets in the first place to be a learning experience, and I am not about to send any more money United's way. I am not complaining that I got screwed over, here. I am making people aware of a crappy airline's series of fee-heavy policies, so that others can avoid making the same mistakes I did. I also didn't come here asking for sympathy - I posted it on my site's blog as a catharsis, because sometimes it just feels better to vent than to just sit and silently stew about it.

Also - to those who say it's immature and pointless to yell at the employee on the phone... you're right. Of course it is. But I have a hairline temper, and I don't react well to people who say things with a straight tone that any normal human would think is crazy - like "Oh, you won't be able to use these tickets? For only $300 more you can get travel vouchers that have to be used within a year." That's crazy. Was it wrong of me to yell at them? Yes. Did it feel GOOD? Yes. :)

@KLETCO:

It's actually $2.50 per plane that you fly on, so if you switch planes, it's really $5. Still worth it, though :-)

@Dont Know Me? You Are Me.:

Southwest does not allow in-cabin pets.

@stopNgoBeau:
thanks for your reply, though not really an informative one.

Companies have no obligation to charge for something based on what it costs them. An Ipod doesn't cost $200 to make. It doesn't take 35c to send a text message. It doesn't cost a prostitute $300 an hour to provide sex. It doesn't cost an airline $150 to change a reservation.

They all price things based on what the market will bear, and how much they want their services to be demanded.

Airlines learned that customers buy tickets based on the price of the ticket, without thinking about what services are included. So stuff like checked bags, flexibility of reservations, pets in cargo -- passengers demonstrated they won't pay extra for these things in the ticket price, but will afterwards at the airport. So why should they charge everyone for them, when only a few use them?

I don't feel like paying for your extra bags with an increased price on my ticket.
Sorry.

@Corporate_guy: Southwest isn't awful, but I don't like the "cattle-call" boarding style. I like to know what seat I'm going to be in well in advance, especially since my wife and I travel together everywhere, and she's kind of a nervous flier, so I let her have the window. Every now and again, we are unable to get seats together, and it sucks. With Southwest, there's the possibility of not getting her a window seat at all if we're in the wrong boarding group.

That said, I DO applaud Southwest for not having any of these crappy fees like United. No fee for the first or second bag, and the third bag is only $25. That's awesome. Would I get a frequent flier card with them anytime soon? Probably not - but I won't rule them out in the future.

I stopped flying United after my first time. My first time being stuck in an airplane for 7 hours, mind you next to the toilet :). I recall Hostess kinda going about the consequences of getting off and how we have to go through security clearance yadi yada. Upon which, she took a count of hands of people wanting to stay on the plane. About a 4th of the people raised their hands, I guess that was more than enough to continue that awful experience for 7 hours.

To make matters worse, I missed my flight in Dulles as did everyone else pretty much. After standing in line for two hours to ask for another flight, I was told that there wasn't any.
"Well how about putting me up in a hotel?"
"Sir, because this was a weather related delay, we are not responsible to put you up for a hotel."

All hotels within a 2 hour drive radius were booked. So I spent the night and day at the airport in the lounge chairs. To make matters worse, once I caught next morning flight, they lost my bag.

Long story short... FUCK UNITED!

I used to like United okay. I mean, they weren't spectacular, but they got me from Point A to Point B without much fuss. They even gave me a free upgrade to first class on a Chicago-LA flight once - just because I was nice to the lady at the counter after watching everyone else on my cancelled flight scream at her.

But then in 2003 they cancelled a flight - and refused to reschedule me on another. Um. I was on a multi-airline trip, so apparently that meant they had no obligation to get me to the next airline's flight. United felt it was perfectly okay to strand me in Chicago and provide no way to get home. The other airline was America West, which doesn't even exist anymore, but they happily took my ticket and put me on their next flight out - told me "Run, it's boarding now!" And I made my next flight.

Then in 2004 I had to fly home while sick. I wasn't contagious at all - and I had to get home from college 2000 miles away. The flight attendants treated me like dirt and threatened me repeatedly when I used the bathroom while we were on the tarmac - now I realize that is against the rules, but I was clearly ill and the pilot had just announced we were 20th in line for takeoff. It wasn't like there was any real risk involved - the flight attendants were up and moving around and using the bathrooms themselves, but apparently they decided passengers are at risk of injury in a plane that's not moving.

I used my frequent flier miles with United to fly my family out for graduation, and I've never flown United since, nor will I again if I can possibly help it. I don't need to be treated like dirt by people who happily accepted a lot of money from me.

In other airline news, Southwest airlines has added not 4, but SEVEN new flights throughout the states.
-- Eight new daily nonstop roundtrips between Chicago Midway and
Minneapolis-St Paul.
-- One new daily nonstop roundtrip between Birmingham and Phoenix.
-- One additional daily nonstop roundtrip between Las Vegas and Orlando
(for a total of two).
-- One additional daily nonstop roundtrip between Baltimore/Washington and
Denver (for a total of four daily nonstops).
-- One additional daily nonstop roundtrip between Baltimore/Washington and
Ft. Lauderdale/Hollywood (for a total of five daily nonstops).
-- One additional daily nonstop roundtrip between Chicago Midway and Omaha
(for a total of six daily nonstops).
-- One additional daily nonstop roundtrip between Chicago Midway and
Pittsburgh (for a total of six daily nonstops).

You got the big jobbers rolling up the welcome mat and laying out coin boxes for everything you touch and SWAir is slapping down new routes and more roundtrips than you can shake a stick at.
Now go figure.

This man's anger is delicious. I am feasting off it like a vampire.

I don't care if these people aren't personally responsible for these fees. They're representatives of United, and as such, they deserve to hear what I have to say.

I understand your frustration, but umm, grow up.