"tell him how much you enjoy his company's products and services..."

This is just the introduction to the opposite sketches, right?

I've never had issues with dell... maybe I WILL tell him how much I like his products and services!

Yah, I've always had decent luck to, maybe because I know computers and never have to call service for help. I've had to replace parts before, but that usually goes without a hitch.

Someones about to change their email address!!!.....

While it might only be a symbolic gesture, having the CEO accessible via email says something good about a company. Even if the email only goes to his admin. assistant or some executive response group, the company is trying to be approachable and responsive.

I have nothing but good things to say about Dell, outside of the fact that their tech support is in India somewhere and the line connection sucks. Hardware wise everything works great and the in-home service was quick, free, and polite. Gateway on the other hand....

SENT!

Subject: Short Praise, and Mixed Praise

Message:
I am impressed that my friend's Dell laptop lasted 7 years until a month ago. However I am not impressed with their customer service. My mom's CD-ROM drive didn't work, and the Indain customer rep wanted me to buy an over-priced one, but once I was transferred to an American tech rep, he helped me fix it.

Nothing wrong with Dulls... unless you consider the fact that they run Windows.

I'm a big fan of Dell. I've bought and used 4 desktops from them with hardly an issue. The one time I did call CS, the India-based rep was awesome and walked me through everything. She even talked MLB with me while the computer was restarting a couple times.

Man, I sound like I work for them....

I've e-mailed him before, got a response from his "Global Escalation Management Team"

I have a Inspiron 5100 I pulled from a pong, still works great with the original HDD, Battery, and ac adapter. I did have to replace the keyboard, because whomever had it, has broke the keys on it before throwing it into the pond.

wish i could afford a new one tho.

meant pond, not pong.

@GuinevereRucker: Are you kidding?!! My company is full of dells running Linux and other ix OS. You apparently are a Mac, how dull :(

I love Dell, no problem at all with them except possibly the turnaround after an order through their website.

Also, that seems like an odd address. I would expect something more like Michael.Dell@dell.com. Who knows though...

And tomorrow morning the email addy will be overflowing with ads from Nigeria as well as Candian drugs.

Just wonderful.

A friend owns a Dell business laptop with on-site, next day service. The last time it died (a couple of months ago) it took over a month to get it repaired.

Last week it croaked again, same problem. The part was shipped, the tech arrived two days later, "fixed the problem", walked out the door, and five minutes later the laptop died.

Tech support in India then instructed her to ship the laptop to the depot for repair. She had to research the problem to find out what board died so she could call back and spend several hours on the phone insisting that it be fixed on-site, and soon.

It seems to be working now. Still, I think I'll send her this. She might have something to say to Mr. Dell.

Well, I sent Michael a very detailed message about my experience as a college student with the battery life of Inspiron laptops and the brand lockdown and price gouging that comes with replacements. Have you ever looked at the price of their replacements? $300 for a 9 cell? Seriously? I felt really cheated by Dell for that.

honestly, im very happy with the laptop and the price i got on it; between the interest free financing, the employee discount, an instant discount, and an additional coupon, i wound up with an instantaneous savings of about $1100.

however, this whole twisting my arm into getting fricken vista because that's all anyone is offering EVEN THOUGH MICROSOFT IS BASICALLY ABANDONING IT doesn't make me too happy...

if i put a porcupine in this guy's sock drawer, would that be ok? wait... he's an executive... they wear leather shoes all day and the smell probably doesn't really come out and id feel bad for the porcupine.

ok, if i put a porcupine in his golf bag, would anyone mind?

@nforcer:

I bought a new, OEM 9-cell off of eBay for sixty bucks.

After working for dell for 2 and a half years I can tell you with out a doubt that Mr. Michael Dell does not have a publicly accessible email. Any permutation of Michael and/or Dell @ dell.com goes to the same group of resolution specialists.

I highly doubt he has an address @dell.com. I know this because I used to work on one of the teams that answers the emails.

@phate: Are you kidding?!? **checking underpants** Yeah, umm, somehow I am not shocked by your comment.

I've had very good luck with Dells so far. In fact, every desktop or server we're running right now is either a custom build or a Dell. We did switch to Fuji laptops a few years ago, but not because we were dissatisfied with the Dells...they were just too big and heavy.

Dell Outlet has been awesome for us over the years.

@TheDairyQueen:

The Dells that run Ubuntu are grossly overpriced. If they came down to a reasonable price (i.e. should at least be cheaper than the Windows PC), I'd buy one in a heart beat.

@Robert Isbell: Ah, that makes much more sense. For a minute there I thought maybe the paddles in pong were actually laptops, and you had developed some sort of reverse Tron laser to remove them. The typo makes a lot more sense.

you should really post it as Michael (AT) dell.com so his email doesn't get spammed.

@b3m87: too late for that.

Considering the company's performance lately, perhaps he should sell it and give the money back to the shareholders. ;-)

@xthexlanternx: Is it that hard to install Linux yourself? I dual boot XP and Ubuntu.

Dell's for me have been more good than bad.
the worst problem i've had is with Dimension 2xxx line and the CPU cooling fans.
Dell used a proprietary fan that is almost impossible to find.
I have quite a few of them that i've had to replace and have had problems getting a compatible replacement even from them.

that said, If i call them, explain what troubleshooting steps i've taken and what I believe is wrong with the computer, I usually have a part on the way within 10 minutes of talking to a rep.

@GuinevereRucker: Didn't you misspell "Windoze"? That's how all the other zealots spell it, anyway.

Last year my wife and I were baited into buying a Dell with a 0% interest enticement posted online. Once we bought the computer, they started charging interest.

New York State contacted us to ask us to be part of their ongoing suit against Dell to honor their offered interest. Only then did I get a letter telling us that we wouldn't be charged. Until that time, I dealt with about 20 agents in Sri Lanka, trained to say no no matter how loud the scream or cogent the complaint, who told me it was my fault despite my claims to having screen captures that explained the 0% offer.

I fucking hate Dell, and I will never buy another product from them again.

Hi,
I work on a team here at Dell that finds and helps people with their Dell product. We've actually been mentioned on the Consumerist before:
[consumerist.com]

We tend to focus on the customers we find online, both in our forums and sites like the Consumerist. Myself or my team would be glad to lend a hand- our email address, for those that don't follow the Consumerist link above, is customer_advocate@dell.com.

With that in mind, if you are looking to contact Michael due to an unresolved issue the fastest way to make sure that you get things taken care of is to use this link which will put you in touch with the escalation team that handles those kinds of issues, as well as the messages sent to Michael Dell. It really is the best way to get a problem resolved if you're having trouble with the normal support channels.
[support.dell.com]
(That's the link for US customers)

And if you really just want to voice your opinion, give us an idea or feedback, the best place to have it heard and acted upon would be Ideastorm:
[www.ideastorm.com]

i started college with a dell inspiron laptop a few years ago. a year later, it was physically falling apart and despite new batteries and adapters, wasn't charging properly, making it a pain in the ass because i could only use it while it was plugged in. then it died completely. fortunately i now have a macbook pro, which has been nothing short of amazing and i've had it over a year.

dell computers are just a hassle to own, especially if you run windows on it. nothing ever works right.
spend a little more on a mac, having a reliable computer is worth it

Funny...when I send an email here about my problem, I get a phone call from someone who claims her name is "Cathy" who is located in India, can barely speak english, and doesn't even TRY to help me.

Way to go Michael Dell..GREAT customer service.

@GuinevereRucker: oooo Dulls. You are so clever! Oh and by clever I mean clueless.

@xthexlanternx: I believe that the FeeDos versions are even cheaper and you can load what ever flavor of Linux you want. Linux installs easily to just about any setup becaue it is light on the system resource demands. If I can install Fedora Core 5 on my PS3 then you shouldn't have any problems with an actual PC.

his middle name is Saul, so at one point his personal email was saul_dell@dell.com.

Until Dell employees its call centers with people who can understand english and NOT READ FROM A BLOODY SCRIPT, I'll shop elsewhere.

The most unfortunate thing happened to me today: a Dell Technician came to my place today to fix a bum AC Adapter. The protocol was straight-foward: replace the AC Adapter and the motherboard for precautionary purposes. When the Tech replaced the motherboard with a new one and assembled the rest of the laptop, the laptop had a permanent white screen.

With nothing better to do, the Tech decided to put the previous motherboard back into the laptop and hope that the LCD would work this time. Let's be honest...that didn't help anything.

So, now the laptop has no LCD screen and therefore is a non-functional laptop. The Tech acknowledges this and proceeds to do something brilliant: he leaves the site. He leaves me with a non-functional laptop. He simply says, "uh, I will order the parts again (a motherboard, LCD, and something else) and another Tech will come back and fix your problems."

Are you kidding me!?!?

So, the Dispatch Call Center was kind enough to talk to me (once the Tech explained them the situation, he left site, and gave me the phone) and order a System Exchange. So, Mr. Michael Dell, please please please expedite this process. No laptop during finals week in medical school is impossible!

-Your long long long time customer :)

He should sell the company and give the money to the shareholders

I know a few people who bought Point of Sale systems through dell and that comes with next day on site and dell retail gold (equivalent to prosupport i believe) and besides one instance, everything was peachy except Dell won't really support the POS software at all.

i used to think Dell was awesome, unfortunately I no longer can state such. I received an empty box, called Dell immediately, and was told to call back once my order was complete. After waiting patiently, I called Dell back and was told that it is too late. That I should have called back sooner. No matter who I spoke with I was told the same thing. I kept telling them I did call immediately the first time, but that wasn't good enough. I now have no recourse, though I did everything I was told to do by Dell.....sucks.....BE CAREFUL when you order anything from Dell. They apparently refuse to admit they are wrong.

I bought a dell with the promise of a $100.00 gift card. Two months later I never received it. They kept sending me to India to talk to folks who can hardly speak English and always hang up on you when you ask for a manager. Nothing ever was done. I even sent emails to both emails listed for Michael Dell and he always has someone from India to contact me back. Ya think he lives in the US or India now? Why can't i get a person here in the US to address the lies and hangups I received working with India staff?

My email to Michael Dell. Let's see what happens:

Mr. Dell,

I recently Ordered a Dell Mini 9. I noticed several days later that the laptop was significantly cheaper due to a thanksgiving deal. I understand that laptops change in price all the time. I had not received my laptop yet, and tried to call customer service. I was calling out of office hours. So I ordered the new laptop thinking it wouldn't be an issue just to cancel the first one assuming that the first one was still in production as stated on the website.

I called the next day to cancel and the representative told me I couldn't but that it wouldn't be a problem at all to return, and to just accept the package. I asked if I just reject the package if it would be a problem. He said that it would not work that way, and that I would need to accept. So I called the day I received the package to return it. I was told that I would be charged a 15% restocking fee. Despite my efforts to cancel. Then I thought that I'd keep it if the customer service department would honor the new price. They would not do that either. The customer service and returns department kept pushing me off back and forth to each other avoiding the issue. It finally ended with your customer service department hanging up on me when I respectfully asked to speak to a manager. I have never been hung up on before, and am completely shocked and angered.

I've ordered so many dell systems for myself, and recommended them to so many friends over the years, and have enjoyed them immensely. I am confused as to why I just cannot return something that I had not even received, and was "tricked" into accepting the package. Had I not accepted the package, I could refuse payment for something that I hadn't received. This is not the way to treat any customer, let alone a loyal one.

In a tough economy like the one we're in, I would think every single customer would be paramount. I don't feel like that today.

I hope that you or one of your staff can help me resolve this issue.

Lou Dobbs reported tonight that Dell has instituted a new customer service program for American customers. This is no doubt in response to numerous complaints that your American customers, including me, can not begin to understand the agents now in place. It was reported that for a mere $99 at purchase plus $12.99 a month, I can have the pleasure of speaking with someone who is actually understandable. I am in the process of buying two new high-end desktop systems. I was planning on buying from Dell again. You can forget that! Whoever came up with this harebrained scheme should be fired. Customer service from agents who are in many instances completely unitelligible is no service at all and frustrating to no end.

Dell has killed their online support forums by releasing an untested and nonworking downgrade to their once great online support forum. It has been well over a month now, and the site still does not work correctly. The only fixes produced to date are a few fluff and image repairs. Who from Dell is responsible for killing their once great online support? Names please, so the other shareholders can know why Dells customer support ratings have dropped, bringing loss sales and profits. Darrell

This in regards to the problems I have been having with my Dell XPS 410. Since I bought rhis machine I have had nothig but problems.
1 The memory chips and mothebord has been replaced.

2 the hard drive had to be replaced

3 Both the DVD Burner and DVD rom Drive went down and had to be replaced.

Now the antivirus program that came with it has not done its job. Since all of these problems have acurred I would like the entire unit replaced asap.

Your tech staff has in the Philippians and Thiland or where I was routed have given me greif about this since I bought it.

I need to speak to an American not a far off land.

Again I request a new machine or get my money back.

This problem has gone on long enough and needs to be addressed.

GG

In mid-August, I called Dell to purchase a Studio 17 laptop as a gift for my boyfriend. What unfolded over the next several weeks, starting with the sales pitch, was filled with contradictions and outright deception. The sales rep initially encouraged me to buy virus protection for $100. I declined it, saying it was too expensive and my boyfriend would be better able to select his own service. Then he discovered that he could offer me the "special" price of $79. Again, I said no. Then I was told, oh wait! This particular model comes with 15 months of FREE virus protection!! I said fine, that's real generous. A couple of days later, I got an email from Dell saying that I had "selected" an "automatic billing option" and asked me to accept terms and conditions which would permit Dell to extract $79 annually from my account, without further notice, to maintain the virus protection. I had never been offerred an "automatic billing option" and I certainly would not have "selected" it, particularly since I was purchasing a GIFT, not an ongoing financial obligation. I REJECTED the "terms and conditions" immediately and received an acknowledgement from Dell to that effect. I then reiterated my rejection via a phone conversation with two Dell customer-service guys in INDIA and told them it was ridiculous that I had been sent the email in the first place. I also emailed the sales rep who sold me the computer, asking him whether this matter was an isolated incident of deceptive sales practices on his part or whether it was a pattern and practice of Dell. He hurriedly referred the issue to the customer sales manager, who assured me that if I had opted out of the automatic billing program, that would be the end of the matter. A few days after the computer arrived, I got an invoice from Dell which indicated that, unlike all the other "package options" (which were billed at zero) the virus protection was not free; I was billed $79 for it. The invoice also indicated that I would be 'automatically billed' every year for the next four years for the virus program. When I emailed the customer service manager, demanding a refund for the virus protection and demanding a revised invoice that reflected my REJECTION of automatic billing, he ignored me. He continued to ignore me until I said I was returning the computer. He finally resumed email contact with me, saying I would be contacted by a "team" of resolution specialists. I got the runaround for weeks from them. I was told that I would have to take the matter up with my credit-card company if I wanted to avert the automatic billing, or I could deal with McAffee Security Systems. Dell had nothing to do with the billing, they said. (This was contradicted by Dell's own emails, which had characterized it as a "Dell Subscription Program.") My assertion that I shouldn't have to deal with this at all -- that I had rejected it from the start -- was ignored. There were other boring, numbing deceptions and evasions on their part as well. When I finally exploded, demanding "where the fuck is my refund?" they threatened to break off all contact with me for behaving in an "unprofessional" manner. (I'm not obliged to behave in a professional manner!) After I threatened to go to the media and the attorney general, I finally got a refund yesterday. But Dell has never rescinded its invoice with the automatic billing authorization, nor has it responded to my demand that it stop doing this to its customers -- most of whom are probably decades younger than I and much more accustomed to clicking "I agree" buttons on the computer without reading what they're agreeing to. Anyway, that's the story. I am appalled by Dell.