Play Black Friday Bingo

Here’s your official Consumerist Black Friday Bingo Card, inspired by “28 Bad Things That Will Happen On Black Friday.” I added a few of my own as well. Full-size inside. I made it using the free bingo card maker at teach-nology.com.

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  1. MissWellRed says:

    My write-in:
    Customer in front of you trying to split up their purchase 5 ways so they can use 5 different coupons.

  2. wattznext says:

    Shouldn’t the free space be in the middle?

    And can we make an actual contest out of this? Let’s say cell phone video required as proof for each square.

    Consumerist can give out a gift card or something.

    Who’s with me?

  3. bossco says:

    Well, I have to work, I always do, so I guess I have no idea what black Friday is?!

    • Ghede says:

      @bossco: Day after thanksgiving. Start of the Christmas shopping season. Prices slashed. Raving mobs. People falling and being trampled to death by the mobs. Fights. Hour long waits at the checkout. Losing your will to live while running the register.

      God help those that sell Wiis. There are going to be riots.

  4. hellinmyeyes says:

    This reminds me a lot of the Walmart Bingo I discovered on StumbleUpon a couple weeks ago. It definitely will not take you long to fill up your Bingo card.

  5. discounteggroll says:

    sadly, my write-in would have to be “Death: Self or Close-by”

  6. lissyssil says:

    …I assume you mean Delirium Tremens?

  7. Cafezinha says:

    I’m hoping the YouTube era will let me experience all this madness vicariously, in the safety of my home. I generally hunker down and hide on Black Friday; being a former retail employee, I am permanently scarred by this day.

    I’ll just be rocking in the corner here, don’t mind me…

  8. Kishi says:

    Where’s the square for “staying at home and thanking god that, while you may be unemployed, at least you aren’t working retail today”?

    • nsv says:

      @Kishi: I’ll take that square as my write-in.

      If not, I’ll have to use “Came to my senses, gave up, went the hell home, and poured myself a drink.” And that won’t fit in the square.

    • autoclavicle says:

      @Kishi: I am so glad to be unemployed for Black Friday, because otherwise I would most likely be working retail that day. I got up at 4 a.m. just to be at my old job by 6 a.m. last year. I also worked the previous Black Friday, but it was more bearable because the store didn’t open until 8 a.m.

  9. BlondeGrlz says:

    Who needs Black Friday? I can get bingo four different ways just by going to the mall on the weekend. Especially if I use “See someone splitting large purchase among 2 or more near-limit credit cards” as my write in.

  10. Matt Sussman says:

    That’s not where the free space goes at all.

  11. Reason says:

    I think you mean “Palpable Undercurrent of Fear and Desperation”. And while I’m at it, the spelling is “Delirium Tremens.”

    CopyEditor 4 Life

  12. ryaninc says:

    Here’s my write in…happens to me every year.

    Person who gets there seven hours early, snags every single “limited item voucher” and walks the line trying to sell them to people waiting in line.

  13. timmus says:

    I won’t be able to play, because I’ll be sleeping in! Ha ha! Take that, 4-am line-standin’ suckas!

  14. chrisjames says:

    possible write-ins:

    - Arson
    – Trampled to death
    – Local news crew stealing items from customers to create an undercurrent of fear and desperation
    – O.J. Simpson somehow involved and getting arrested
    – Other sentient creatures laughing at the spectacle
    – Level-headed people shopping for moderate deals at relatively empty stores

  15. innout3x3 says:

    I hate Black Friday. I don’t want to wake up at 4am. I don’t want to waste my money. I don’t want to interact with bargain shoppers. I do want to wake up and make a garlic bread turkey sandwich at 8 am.

  16. Traveshamockery says:

    Oh, I thought “Register Malfunction” was the free space, considering it’s a mortal lock to happen.

  17. jodles says:

    write in: the person with one item in line in front of you with one item is actually holding a spot for seven other people with cartloads of stuff.

  18. jdmba says:

    Well, for all those playing, I hope you have fun! I would rather wait until December 26th.

  19. Trai_Dep says:

    My fav: lug-headed SUV drivers, too fat and slovenly to walk the extra 20′, parking in the middle of two compact car spaces.
    Well, what’s actually my fav: chrome truck-nuts accessorized SUVs being keyed by mildly annoyed compact car drivers seeking slightest excuse to commit minor parking lot mayhem.

  20. razremytuxbuddy says:

    My write-in would be “witnessing an early-morning car crash in the crazy Kohls parking lot.” I saw that scene on Black Friday several years ago, and that soured me on Black Friday. It’s now a day for me to stay home at all costs. I enjoy knowing my car and bank account are both intact at the end of the day.

  21. BrianDaBrain says:

    LOL. Were I motivated enough to get up at ungodly hours of the night and drive to my local BB or wherever, stand in line for several cold hours, then deal with stampeding cattle as they run around, heedless, trying to grab the best deals before they sell out… Well, then I’d be retarded. But I’d definitely fill out my bingo card. :)

    Write ins:
    – Line holders
    – An ambulance to cart away those who have been trampled to death
    – Wal-mart not having advertised TVs
    – Hot chocolate
    – Scalpers
    – The asshat that grabs the item you’re carrying because it is the last one in stock
    – A surprisingly refreshing lack of little kids and screaming infants, but a depressingly large number of adults acting like little kids and/or screaming infants
    – Mobs of people who temporarily suspend brain function as an excuse to be belligerently nasty to each other

    Ah, yes, reasons why I will be sleeping straight through it all. Can’t wait.

    • drjayphd says:

      @BrianDaBrain: The asshat that grabs the item you’re carrying because it is the last one in stock

      Said asshat, though, probably doesn’t realize that now you have two free hands and they don’t…

  22. no.no.notorious says:

    omg thats so funny…I can honestly say i’ve witnessed most of these working at toys r us and an american eagle various black fridays.

    my write in would be: “customer complaining that you said Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays.”

  23. IssaGoodDay says:

    Hmm… I work in retail and I actually ENJOY Black Friday. Maybe I’m a masochist? I work in a good retail environment though where they bring tons of food in for the employees, everyone is there, and customers are typically pretty nice.

    • cynu414 says:

      @sourc3: I too work retail and this will be my first black friday. I work for a place that might have small, if any, deals (think fruit inspired electronics) so I don’t know what traffic will be like. I don’t know what to expect. Kind of scary yet exciting.

  24. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    Crowds fighting over the newest toys like “Bail me out Elmo” and “Barbie’s Foreclosed Dream House?”

  25. oloranya says:

    I just started cashiering about a month ago and I’m working this friday. *cowers in fear*

  26. ianmac47 says:

    This bingo chart seems overly ambitious. Even the best deals still cost money, and with the way the economy continues to sink, I suspect that Black Friday is not going to be quite as exciting as previous years, even if the deals seem great. Not only are buyers going to be reluctant to spend money, they probably will be holding out for better deals.

  27. JuantheGardener says:

    Well, I won’t be participating in Black Friday this year. My wife and I usually go together, except this year she has to work that day. She usually has a list made out the night before of all the items we’re gonna purchase and from what store. We hit each store and purchase each item on the list (providing it’s still available). With the exception of the long lines and the sea of people, we usually get done fairly quickly and safely. My favorite part of that day is going to breakfast after wards.

  28. goodywitch says:

    So, are you guys gonna play lines or blackout? You need to clarify this people!

  29. Anonymous says:

    Some more to add to the card.

    1. The annoying “Did you find everything okay?” question asked by the store employee(s).

    2. Gridlock traffic and accidents

    3. Perfume lady on commission chasing you with bottle.

    4. One item on shelf for inventory.

    5. Item SKU on shirt shows up on register as shovel.

    6. Shopping cart with square squeaky wheel.