There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch Seminar
A 2007 SEC report said over half the free-lunch seminars they scoped out had misleading claims, 13% were straight up frauds, and 100% of the "free seminars," many marketed at seniors, were, shock of shocks, actually sales presentations.
In lean times, the wolves start salivating. The peddlers of get-rich-quick programs know Americans are choosing between paying the mortgage and putting food on the table. People and looking for a magic and fast solution to their money malaise. The sharks smell blood, so they turn up the volume to 11 in their marketing of "unique money-making opportunities." They say you can make extra cash stuffing envelopes, buying up penny stocks, cashing checks, or selling lessons on how to sell lessons. It doesn't matter if you have no job, credit, car or clue, they're gonna make you a millionaire.
"Free Lunch" Investment Seminar Examinations Uncover Widespread Problems, Perils for Older Investors [SEC] (Photo: Getty)
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lunch and a scam is the new dinner and a movie
If I can go to a seminar with no strings, and get a free lunch, then I can sit through an hour presentation, especially if it's at Outback or some other such restaurant. If there's a cost, or a signature required on entrance to the seminar, then count me out.
T.A.N.S.T.A.A.F.L.!
(There ain't no such this as a free lunch.!)
Of course it's a free lunch: they feed you lots of bologna!
You're on an island inhabited by seminars that always lie. You attend a seminar that teaches, "All seminars lie".
Discuss.
My dad taught me this early on. I wasn't more than 11 or 12 when I asked him to explain Heinlein's acronym TANSTAAFL (referenced above). He put it like this: It might be free to you, but someone is paying for it and they expect to get something out of it worth more than what they paid. So think about what you're giving up for it.
I'm glad the SEC was hard at work on busting these scams rather than, y'know, regulating Wall Street investment banks like Lehman and Bear Stearns.
@Trai_Dep: Start a new seminar - How to Maximize Your Profit and Attract Women by Attending Seminars.
I went to one of those last year, nice steak dinner and about 30 mins of a sales pitch by a bank. Total time spent including travel was about 1 1/2 hours, worth it for free food.
I am thinking about starting a free seminar telling people how not to get their money taken in get rich quick schemes. Of course you would have to pay something for this valuable advice...
I admit going to presentations (*cough* sales pitches) at hotels from vendors when they offer lunch, but usually skipping out if they don't. I would never do the free trip for a time share or free lunch for a MLM thing though. I just value myself too much.
One of my first job interviews after college and the guy shows-up in a very fancy but ill-fitting suit. He takes me to lunch to, get this, a Taco Bell. The moment he started pitching the scam, I picked-up my two burritos and diet pepsi and walked back to my apartment. He did not even follow me out of the door.
I have no patience for these things after I suffered through too many of these as a kid because of my parents.
Yeah - on South Park they all learned this lesson when they went to an Aspen Time-Share "free weekend".
@Trai_Dep: Since the island is the only place listed that definitely has All-lie seminars, it is safe to assume that seminars outside of the island can have truth in them. Since "All seminars lie" does not specify the island, it can be assumed false, therefore it is still true that all seminars on the island are lies.
A friend and I just went to one last week. Instead of lunch? Ipod Shuffles. Definitely worth the time
I used to work for Ameriprise - you know, the fishbowl full of business cards free lunches. It is definitely a free lunch for you and 8 unsuspecting colleagues, but the sales pitch intensity varies depending on the tenacity of the financial advisor. I've done some where the FA just says a few words and leaves some cards and material, and I've been to some where s/he'll stay the whole hour and badger you later on. So, its a crapshoot, but its certainly free of charge.
reminds me of when i went to one of those "learn how to sell on ebay by using a drop shipper" programs that offered a free camera just for going. so the guy has his sales pitch with newspaper articles showing how people made $10k on ebay over night, never mentioned you have to pay income taxes, and hosts your website for the "low" fee of $30/month, and at the end of the presentation gives you a coupon for the "Free" camera which you could tell by the picture was the lowsiest camera ever, and you had to pay $10 shipping on it, they don't bring cameras to the presentation.
It may be true, but the last free "lunch seminar" I went to was educational AND the food was good.
@revmatty: Exactly. That said, I don't think people should be upset with these things. Just expect that there will be some sort of sales purpose behind it.
I actually think this is a very viable marketing tactic if done openly with no room for misinterpretation about what the actual purpose for the lunch is. You go to get free food, they give you the free food to get your undivided attention for their sales pitch--a fair enough trade. Plus, nobody is holding a gun to your head to make you sign up for what they are pitching.
I always wanted to go to one of those. After finishing my free lunch, I would stand on my chair and accuse the organizer of sleeping with my wife, tell everyone that I just couldn't take the pain anymore, and then use a prop knife to stab myself in the gut and run off trailing fake blood.
Free lunch AND entertainment.
Wait, do I get a free lunch though. 'Cause that might just be worth it.