Hahaha! Great stuff Ben!!!

"This guy didn't break any rules, there's _now_ law against having being condescending and arrogant."

Spelling, much?

Good stuff though :P

Oh, heck, you could have had soooooo much more fun with that.
"Danny? She's been looking for you. Something about a paternity suit."

"Let me know when you find her. She owes me a lot of money."

or think Andrew Dice Clay...
"Yeah, but she can't talk right now." etc. etc.

You sure showed him a thing or three, clearly the jerky boys have nothing on you!@#$^%^

On a more serious note: Does this really need it's very own post on the Consumerist? I know you're undergoing staff cutbacks, but I don't need to be updated every time a telemarketer calls you.

@crazypants:
Then why are you on the consumerist? It's little everyday things consumers face that are the backbone of a site like this.

Alternatively, you could have chosen not to read this post in the first place and skipped over to the articles that actually do interest you.

@crazypants: Too bad they aren't doing commenter cutbacks too...

Seriously dude, if you actually read the post, there is a hidden lesson in there. Somethign that some readers may not know. Plus, Ben is clearly demonstrating that he practices what he preaches.

@crazypants: I found it amusing, with a little gem of knowledge at the end. If you don't like it, don't click through and comment.

I don't know about you, but I'd rather have 10 posts and read 6 than 3 posts and read 3.

I'm not sure how, exactly; but the peanuts in the mouth make it more wonderful somehow.

@WasabiJoe: @Fry: @m4ximusprim3: Triple smack!

@Synth3t1c: Watch out for the mods! The comments code doesn't want us pointing when the posters rush to get them out with even basic proofreading.

Then again, what does the Consumerist always tell us about receipt checkers? Just because its "policy" doesn't make it a law.

@Clold: i think they fired the mods too... :(

I usually whisper, "I'm sorry, they're no longer with us." Then I cry a little bit as I hang up on them.

Ohhh!!! PeaNUTS in your mouth. Sorry, I misunderstood... ;)

(No offense meant by that.)

Hahaha! Well, that's one way to handle debt collectors.

The other way involves a lot of work: You must learn the language of the debt collectors, gain their trust, and breed with their women. And in time, your differences will be forgotten. :)

"...I'm going to stop wasting it on mother******* like you."

"This guy didn't break any rules, there's now law against having being condescending and arrogant."

Yes, because calling someone else a motherfucker is respectful and polite. I understand that he called you, yada yada yada, but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. A simple "I am under no obligation to submit to your interrogation. Have a nice day. *hang up*" would have worked just as well.

@mac-phisto: Good riddance.

@doctor_cos: HAHAHA! Paternity suit! That woulda been AWESOME!!

@WasabiJoe: You just wasted 2 minutes of your life typing that comment. You'll never get it back. Was it worth it??

I, personally, liked the post. Being (or hearing about somebody being) foul-mouthed to telemarketers and ridiculous bill collectors really makes my day.

If you don't like it, kick rocks.

@shorty63136: Crap. I'll learn how to click on the right name.

That was meant for crazypants.

Aren't debt collectors only allowed to call once per day?

There may be no law regarding debt collection practices, but if this was a cell phone (from the "Phone rings immediately. Muted." I assume it was) other laws *may* have been broken.

Specifically the number must be hand dialed and not dialed by a computer. I doubt they are hand-dialing and thus are likely violating the alw by using an automated dialer to rach a cell phone? Unless an exemption has been created in the past year and a half?

Quite frankly I don't like the idea that debt collectors can call other people, I have no interest in helping them out, and I doubt many other people do.

@mac-phisto: roz will post from time to time, although i usually see her policing the comments

@WasabiJoe:

Abusing another human being, regardless of their profession, is what the Consumerist is about?

Some debt collector kept calling my brother when he got a new phone number a few years ago, looking for the person who apparently had that number before my brother. He didn't believe my brother when he told the collector he just got that number and the person he was looking for wasn't at that number. Anyway, this guy kept calling and kept calling and was abusive towards my brother, so finally my dad answered the phone and totally owned this guy. He got the company the guy was with, the guys name, and some other info and threatened to call the attorney general or some regulatory agency or something if the guy ever called again. The guy never called again. My dad would have gotten that motherfucker fired too.

@SabreDC: Probably not, the guy probably would have kept calling.

@SabreDC: No, I used to work with debt collectors. No matter how polite you are, if you don't give them the information they want, they will keep calling back. At the company I worked at, if you didn't speak with the person that you were trying to reach, you were supposed to call back two hours later. If you did reach the person you were trying to, but they didn't give you the information you wanted, you were supposed to call back the next day.

@kamel5547: It doesn't sound to me like an auto-dialer. It would usually take some time to throw the number back in the queue and call again if it was an auto-dialer. Sounds like hand dialing to me.

Frankly, if someone says they're not there, then just leave it at that, not go ahead and be a smart-butt and ask what my problem is. But yeah, definately love that idea of faking their deaths, awesome thought @Landru: .

Apart from the obvious typo in the last para, I think it might be better if you told the debt collector you were an officer and you would report him if he makes prank calls again.

You should have just pissed him off and said you knew some Mafia dude or whatever.

@Ike_Skelton: Kinda like how the guy called back after Ben hung up on him? It sounds like the guy will call back either way. How is Ben's method any more effective?

@SabreDC: Releases stress, makes him feel better.

@katiat325: The awesomer part is just implying it. I've actually used it.

Something along the lines of "he's not with us anymore. He was too stressed about this debt and decided to jump off a cliff", with a sad and bitter tone.

Funny thing, it wasn't actually a lie. He went on a local nature/extreme sports event, which involves jumping off a cliff into a underground lake below, to take his mind off some financial troubles he had. I was sad and bitter because I wanted to go :)

I used to get calls like that for a roommate that had moved out. It had been five years, and they just wouldn't believe she had ditched us, too. (Bad roommate, ditched out on rent, etc.)

Our solution was to let my new roommate have the phone. He would ask what color panties they were wearing, if they were men, or go on about his horrible STD if it was a woman.

We never got repeat calls after that.

@Ike_Skelton: Ditto, earlier this year I kept getting calls from debt collectors looking for the people who had my number 9 years ago. I finally told the guy to go look them up at Zabasearch, and he stopped calling me.

Should have used your mad skillz and redirected him here where he could read how the ways debt collectors work are constantly exposed as...shall we say, illegal?

I usually just scream into the phone, "HEELLOO? WHHAAATT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOOOOUUUU!"

If they don't hang up after that, I keep screaming into the phone that I can't hear them and they catch the hint. Or if I have a fart brewing, I'll drop that into the handset for 'em.

@howie_in_az: Once a day?

What are you on? I have one that calls 8-10 times a day. I don't even pick up the phone anymore.

@SomeoneGNU: I think Ben was returning the favor... legal and ethical are two different things.

@Ike_Skelton: I had the same thing happen when I got a new phone number. I think I told at least 10 debt collection agencies that Hazel didn't have this number, and they'd all do the "oh reeeeally? so, Hazel, I have this issue I need to talk to you about..." as if I was going to magically admit I was Hazel.

When I asked for company information and names, they refused to give the information and hung up on me. Finally one of them was stupid enough to call on a line that had caller ID (the other calls came through as "Private Number" or "000-000-0000"), and I was able to submit a complaint--and then it stopped. I'm never changing my number again.

I just love debt collectors.

Lie, cheat and steal to acquire a payment.

Hey, nothing wrong with debt collectors (everybody should pay their bills and if they don't then I am all for some cement booties so as to collect on the insurance policy), but this crap of drawing in various outsiders to reach the debtor is pretty darn bogus.

Years ago, as a teenager, I received a call at home from somebody trying to reach a neighbor several houses down the street. By now everybody knows the speil..... "I have been trying to reach my {fill-in-the-blank} for {fill-in-the-blank} time and can not reach them. Maybe something is wrong. Could you be kind enough to write a note and take it to them.... make sure you hand it to them in person because I want to make sure they are ok. If they don't answer the door, could you call the police to come and check on them? Tell Fill-in-the-blank he/she can reach me at my home, or better yet, them them to reach me at work and my number is 1-800-debtcollector"

Hey, I was young and stupid. I just wasn't that stupid.

@shorty63136: No Andrew Dice Clay bits, though. Those weren't funny 15 years ago and they surely aren't now.

This happened to me when I got a new number. I just give them this number for the person they are looking for:
(202) 326-2222

Its the main number to the Federal Trade Commission.

Calls stopped after that.

My experience of debt collectors when they call third parties is that they don't identify themselves. They make up some half legit/half lie and play on the third party's charity or good will. They remind me of a used car salesman trying to make a sale.

@headhot: I really like that one! I need to write that one down, just in case.

I once had a bill collector call me and ask me to walk down a couple apartments and leave a note for my neighbor. I said I would, set the phone down for about 5 minutes, and then came back on to say that I forgot which apartment it was, set the phone down another 5 minutes and came back and asked what the person's name was again... I kept that bastard on the phone for 30 minutes while I played a video game. Finally, he thought I was a borderline moron, and was getting really rude and suggesting I write things down. Then I told him I was dyslexic. That was pretty funny, there was like an awkward ten second pause, and then the click of him hanging up.

This worked because I had an unlimited incoming call plan on my cell phone. Pretty freakin' awesome.

"Stop calling, my Uncle Vinnie knows a guy..."

Debt collectors are dirty, lying, cheating bastards. I honestly believe that the evil way debt collectors go about collecting debt cancels out the evil of not paying a debt.

I paid off ONE debt at the request of a debt collector before, and it was because the guy called me very politely and talked to me like a normal decent human being, and we worked out a nice small payment arrangement. To all the other rude bastards that call I simply tell them not to call me ever again and inform that that if they do, it is considered stalking as defined in RCW 9A.46.110.

They'll get paid in the order I choose as I clean up my credit (yes, I WAS young and irresponsible once, and my ex-wife even more so).

A debt collector left a message on my mother's voice mail asking how to contact my brother-in-law. The way she described it he sounded like the same kind of over officious jerk who called Ben. Is there a school they go to for that?