How I Talk Myself Out Of Buying Stuff
This is a little mental trick reader Janice uses to fight unnecessary spending:
If you find yourself in one of those moods where you just “have to have it”, and end up in the store staring at it, talk to yourself about it. List all the reasons you want it (want, not need), and all the reasons you don’t want or need it...
Too pricey, have to dust it, won’t use it that often, no place to put it, don’t have the money, don’t want to use credit card, anything to talk yourself down and get out of there without whatever it was you thought you wanted.
I have done this many times, and it really works. I even sometimes talk myself out of things I thought I really needed, but didn’t, I had something at home that would work, or I just needed it ONE time, or something like that. Try it You’ll Like IT.
Nothing like a little dose of rationality to chase the spendthrifties away. What mind games do you find yourself playing to keep yourself from spending?
(Photo: Getty)
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Why do people need "tricks" and games to keep themselves from overspending? Just make a budget, and stick to it. Plan out big purchases in advance so that you can afford them. It's not that hard.
It also helps to say, "I can get this, but I have to wait two weeks." Usually by that time "got to have" erodes into "well maybe I'll be fine without it after all."
well my big purchase is my divorce... 15 grand and counting... all on credit cards.
I used to have great credit
All the reasons I want something: too numerous to list.
The one (and only) reason I don't need something: lack of funds.
The list looks rather lopsided ...
As much as I want to believe in this, I'm not sure if there is any way I can talk myself out of buying a sweet plasma TV to go with my xbox.
Although I suppose "wife would murder me" might be good enough. But would she *really* do that?
I go by the $100/day rule. Even if I wanted a pair of $50 shoes, I will still think it over for a day.
My problem is when I stumble across great "deals" like Woot! and I worry about missing out. When you miss out on a great deal, it just makes you crave getting the next one so you don't miss out. They say the worse thing that can happen to a paranoid person is the thing they fear happening happening. If they make it through OK, it reinforces the behavior vs. something going wrong makes them doubt prepping. So the reason I do what I do is Boy Scouts.
@johnva: The same reason they need "tricks" to lose weight, stop biting their fingernails, swear less, save money, whatever. The old habit is self-reinforcing because it's the known, familiar behavior. Those of us without wills of iron need to find ways to make the new, unfamiliar behavior rewarding--especially if it's something with delayed gratification (smaller ass, bigger savings account, prettier hands). Eventually, the newer, more desirable behavior becomes easier, but sometimes we need "tricks" to pave the way.
@johnva: Budgets work for some people Jedi mind tricks work for others.
I'm a spaz and a recovering impulse shopper. When I see something nice and I want it, having the mental discipline to put the debit card away is handy.
@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->: I think Woot totally feeds on that craving, especially with a Woot off. So many deals happening so fast, you really have to act on your impulsive spending instincts.
@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->: *waves hand* These are not the deals you're looking for.
But, I kind of lost you after the paranoid points...
I love that you think $500/week is what the unemployed have to scrape by on.
I work full-time and make less than that.
The sleep-on-it approach. This works well on anything you'd otherwise buy on an impulse (ie, had no intention of buying until you saw it). I find if I just leave the store, sleep on it, and still want the product enough to go to the store again to buy it then it's validated. Rarely do I still want it after that.
I'm can handle large purchases, but it's the small ones that get me. That's why I try to avoid carrying one dollar bills so I can avoid those quick trips to the snack machine, etc.
@johnva: Lack of self-control.
Then, when they splurge they can rationalize "well, I just didn't know the right anti-spending trick" instead of realizing they're just a bit of a crap human.
Ok, so I was standing in the Treasury Department the other day and I listed all those reasons I didn't need to get that new bailout...
@Ber'Zophus: I do this all he time at the book store I work at. I just keep it behind the counter, and by the next day I'm usually saying, "Screw it, I'll just read it during lunch." Especially since there are very few books I re-read.
@Clold: Thats exactly what I was thinking. Actually, my thought was "really? damn, I should quit my job, I could make the same or more than I do now for not working"
...
I keep a hundred dollars in my wallet and one credit card. Every time I am out in a store picking up the bare essentials for survival. I think hard about the hundred dollars in my wallet and think do I really need the box of Obama waffles. We don't need all this materialistic crap that we are brain washed into buying. I understand that people do need unnecessary items to pass the time until the world ends. We just need to save our money and buy only what we need to live happy not above our means. We don't need exotic cars or designer jeans that cost $400 dollars. We don't need a huge house that we can barely afford to own or heat. This is what got the economy in the state it's in now. I don't really think it matters who gets elected because they can't do much to get us out of this. They can try as hard as they can to give us tax breaks or stimulus checks. But in the end it's up to us the consumer to start acting wisely about our spending and bring this economy back on track. I know people will disagree with what I said. It freedom of speech and you have every right to bitch it's in the Constitution.
@johnva: Merchandising is all about generating desire or need. Ad people are trained to push your buttons.
@johnva: It's not that these are "big" purchases necessarily. If you have two "small" purchases close together, it can be as big as a "big" purchase. Say what you will about personal willpower, but there are thousands of people out there whose sole job is to convince you that this is the product you should buy. Things like limited time only sales can also eat away at your budget, as right now it's 25% off, which is saving money, but by the time you have the surplus you need to buy it, it will be back at full price, and you didn't save the 25%.
my trick is to buy nothing I haven't planned to buy in advance.
I remind myself there's always a better deal online and giving into your impulses now screws you out of the best deal possible.
@downwithmonstercable: I think I've heard this one as "for every $100 the item costs, wait that many days before buying it." This means you have time to think about whether you really need it, etc., and the more expensive the item, the more time you have to mull it over and decide if it's something you really need or can justify spending that much money for.
When I make big purchases. I think about two things.
1) Is the pleasure that I get from the purchase worth the time that it took to earn the money?
2) If I buy this object, what am I giving up in the future by not having this money.
Definitely the sleep-on-it approach, as several commenters have already mentioned.
But also--and I wish I could remember where I read this... sometime earlier this year, I stumbled on an online article pointing out how often many of us buy things because we want to own them, rather than because we'll necessarily be using them (or, at least, using them much). Sounds dumb that anyone would need to remind themselves of this, but it really has made a difference to how I think about spending (and I was already a cautious spender).
Another trick--if you ever get the chance to live for an extended period without most of your stuff (while traveling, couch-surfing, etc.), it does tend to help you realize how little of it you actually need. I came back from a long trip abroad, last month, and found I hadn't missed much of the stuff I'd put in storage before leaving.
I bought way too much stuff I didn't really need when I bought my house and still regret it. Every time I'm shopping I think about if I will regret the purchase and most of the time the answer is yes.
Now it takes me forever to talk myself into buying things. My dishwasher broke a few years ago and I'm still researching my options and washing things in the sink. It drives my family nuts, but helps keep my spending under control.
I also do this when food shopping, I ask if I'll eat it in the next 3 or 4 days and if not I avoid buying it and wait until next time. This has really cut down on food waste at my house.
@lodleader: You need to learn to do without divorce, I mean, hell, if your spouse has life insurance, you could always look into cutting their brake lines...
I've done this same thing since I was 16 and had a job. In the end, my final thought usually is "I don't need it and I can better spend my money elsewhere."
@Clold: That's what I got in UI Benefits. $485 a week to be exact:
I am sure people are making due with much less, and did not mean anything negative by it.
@Paper: This is the one I use most often. Plus, I think of all the accumulated crap I already have and don't use and how frustrating it can be to live with it when it starts to pile up...
@mazda3jdm: Nobody likes the hard truth of their own responsibilities staring them down after they try to talk themselves out of it...
Taking the time to do comparison shopping helps in two ways: 1. Either you end up buying the product for the lowest price, or 2. You end up not buying it at all when you find that you don't want or need it badly enough to go compare prices.
I do most of my shopping online, which in itself generally saves me money. For anything I don't urgently need, I put it in my shopping cart (or or wishlist or just a text file called "Future Purchases" on my hard drive). Then I wait. If I still want it 3 months down the road, and I can afford it, I go ahead and buy it. Otherwise, I delete it from the list and move on.
For Amazon shopping, this has an added benefit. You can see by watching your shopping basket any price fluctuations, so you know when your getting the best price, and you always have a ready supply of items to add to bump the purchase up to $25 so you can get free shipping.
@ironchef: Exactly. If I see something really cool in a store or whatever, I remind myself that it might actually be crap and I should go do some research. Loosing $100 by not buying it right away isn't as bad as loosing $50 on something I have no use for or isn't made to hold up.
I do two things. First, I think about how many hours I have to work to make up for that purchase. Since I haven't had a job I liked in a long while, that usually knocks me out of the mood.
Second, I contemplate how I explain it to my husband. Since he's a penny pincher, having to find a way to rationalize it to him makes me realize how stupid my own arguments sound.
I also save for weeks and weeks for larger purchases. Like our new television, we set a goal that we wanted to buy it in November and we've been saving for it since then. We managed to save up more than enough, so that surplus just stays in the savings account.
I keep spending down by purposely living in a 700 sq. ft. apt. with no closets. Everything has to be out in the open, so I find that I rarely buy anything (including home furnishings) as I don't want it in the place if I don't use it on a daily basis. When most people see our place they think we just moved in. People also think we're crazy b/c we only have one t.v. *gasp* and no cable. (Cable internet, though.)
@Paper: The waiting period works for me. The first two or three times I think about buying something discretionary, I tell myself "Wait and see." I'm superlazy, so if I actually make the effort to go back and buy whatever it is, it's usually something I really want and will enjoy. 7-8 times out of 10 the waiting period is enough to make me forget about it.
two words to help control your out of control spending:
IRON WILL
there, was that so hard?
I usually ask myself the following: by buying this physical product, what intangible product am I hoping to get? If the answer is something that can be acquired WITHOUT a purchase, then I don't buy it.
For example, let's say I'm looking at a dress and considering a purchase. I'll ask myself if I am really looking for a dress...or if I'm looking for the sense of femininity that comes along with wearing a dress. (I don't need to buy femininity; I can achieve that through other, non-consumer means.) Let's say I'm looking for a new wireless phone. Do I really want a new phone, or am I hoping that the phone is the means to an end result of more/stronger social interaction? Am I buying a pair or means, or am I trying to buy self-confidence? Am I buying a business suit, or am I trying to buy credibility? Social interaction, the building of confidence and credibility...all of the above can be achieved without actually purchasing a thing.
I hope this makes sense to someone else.
The waiting-period approach usually works for me. Also, I think about where I would keep the new widget, and if I can't visualize a place for it my house, I'm much less likely to buy it. The thought of all the time (years) and energy I've spent decluttering in the wake of a relationship with a major packrat, and the thought of how much I love my space, is a powerful motivation.
What mind games do you find yourself playing to keep yourself from spending?
None. Unemployment drastically changes your perspective on WANT vs. NEED... not that I would recommend it to anyone.
Just think "If I lost my job tomorrow, and had to live on $500 a week, could/should I buy this?"