Starbucks New Healthy Breakfast Tasted, Opinions Formed
Pike Place Roast Coffee:
Chris: "I like the old "burnt" coffee just fine." Ben: "This tastes like 'coffee.' Like 'acme brand coffee.'" Meg: "Like from Looney Toons?" Ben: "Yes, exactly." Carey: "Easily overwhelmed by the milk." Meg: "If you told me this was Dunkin' Donuts coffee I wouldn't punch you in the face and call you a liar."
Apple Bran Muffin:
The Apple Bran Muffin has 330 calories and costs $1.75 Ben: "This muffin is the sh*t. It has a lot of sugar, though." Carey: "It tastes like Frosted Flakes in muffin form. It's Grrrrrrrrreat." Meg: "I can get behind this muffin." Chris: "Don't you pretty much just love muffins, though?" Meg: "Ok, well. Yes. Shut up."Perfect Oatmeal:
Perfect Oatmeal has 140-390 calories depending on the toppings you choose. It costs $2.45. Chris: "I just don't get it. It's nothing you wouldn't do at home with instant oatmeal. There's no Starbucks touch to it. People who eat oatmeal eat it at home or microwave it at work. It tasted fine, but I don't get it." Carey: "I'm offended by the term 'perfect oatmeal.' It wasn't perfect. It was all right. And it costs $2.45." Meg: "The nuts are good. I don't know about $2.45 good, but good." Ben: "Once you add the nuts, there's something to talk about." Captain Duvel Moneycat:"NOM NOM NOM NOM GET OUT OF THE WAY NOM MOVE OVER NOM"
Power Protein Plate:
The Power Protein Plate has 330 calories and costs $4.95. It contains a hard-boiled egg, peanut butter, a small bagel, grapes, apples and cheese. Chris: "This is a good package, but I don't like hard boiled eggs." Ben: "Good portion size. I like it." Carey: "This is an airplane breakfast." Meg: "I would buy this at the airport and take it on United Airlines because it doesn't cost 9 %#%@-ing dollars."
Which of these options, if any, would you personally buy? Any final thoughts?
Chris: "I have already bought the "Stella" (280 calories, $1.75) and will again. It's a "not unhealthy" choice. I'm impressed with the changes Starbucks has made overall. It's true that the breakfast sandwiches stink up the place. It was not a good smell. Regularly brewing the coffee makes a difference as well." Ben: "I'd have to have a reason to eat at Starbucks, but if I did, I'd get the protein pack. That's your 4 food groups right there, and its a sensible portion. It's convenient. And there's pepper. For the egg. They even peel it for you. That's great." Carey: "If Starbucks showed up every morning with a breakfast like this, there are some days when I would open the door."
Meg: "The oatmeal was a little pricey for what it was, but it did taste good, especially once you added the nuts. I would eat that muffin again. Damn, I love muffins." Captain Duvel Moneycat: "I love this oatmeal more than anything I have ever known. It has opened my eyes and given my life purpose. Never again will I take for granted the miracle of God's finest creation — the oat. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lick the floor where someone accidentally dropped some." 
Post a comment
Comments:
Considering I'm eating popcorn for breakfast, I don't know that I can reliably comment about what makes good breakfast. That, and I make my husband buy me chocolate cereals... (He likes sick things like Bran Flakes... and he's not even 60 yet).
Captain Duvel Moneycat needs to be added as a regular contributor.
I'll keep my Dunkin Donuts though, thanks.
I've never missed working at Consumerist more than I do right now.
Thank Jehovah! Starbucks sells breath mints as well. After drinking burnt coffee and eating a boiled egg, you'll certainly need it.
Thanks for letting me know you'd "open the door" to Starbucks if they showed up with these breakfast items at your door. Just one more reason to not stay in bed all day, I say...
I liked the oatmeal, and the protein breakfast (which I got for free today, helluva coincidence that opinions are being sought) was simple, old-fashioned good food. What a revelation.
I did the math: for a few bucks over $10 you can buy a pack of oatmeal, a small milk a pack of dried fruit and (maybe) some honey to sweeten. That'll be about 6 oatmeals at about $2 per. That doesn't count that you'll need a bowl and spoon at your office, line up for the kettle and then you've got to wash and put away your utensils (and make sure no-one steals your food).
At roughly $3 per bowl, it's actually competitive with doing it yourself.
I'm not a shill, btw, I just happen to like Starbucksy-type places.
Those claws! I would never get in the cat's way when there is oatmeal involved. I can see many scratches (and potential losses of body parts) if that happens.
Everyone must now bring Starbucks oatmeal to the alter of Captain Duvel Moneycat.
Hm, $3 for a bowl of oatmeal isn't something I'm willing to pay. I'm not really picky over oatmeal, so just pass me some of the kind you add water to and nuke. Yum!
@CaptainSemantics: I have a cat with claws like that, but he is nice and can grab without hurting.
Everytime my wife and I go to a Starbucks she asks for a blueberry muffin and they are out. Multiple starbucks in multiple cities and at various times. So now they are going to have new items to be out of instead of just having more of the good items they already have?
If I was in a rush, I could actually imagine buying the protein pack. (Did nobody think that it sounds so very, very dirty?)
Dennis Family Cat, Sr., would fight Cpt. Moneycat for the oatmeal. However, he is a large wimp and would lose.
Competitive my rear. I buy the kroger brand huge tub of old fashioned oatmeal, a bag of raisins and a half gallon of milk to keep at work or home. 2.25 for the oatmeal, 3.99 for the raisins and 2.00 for the half gallon is 8.25. This will give me 30 servings if i eat it like the oatmeal package says, i usually double it, so let's say 15 servings divided by 8.25.
Yeah, I pay roughly $0.55 for my morning breakfast. 2.45, no thanks. As far as saving time, I have a bowl, and a spoon (both free fom my home) and I use the microwave and tap water. Takes 5 minutes desk to desk.
My revelation for the day? Never buy overpriced food. Unless you're Dying for something specific.
@mariospants: What oatmeal are you buying? You can get way more than 6 servings of oatmeal from a regularly sized container. Milk is expensive, granted, as is honey, but both of those items are going to last you more than 6 servings.
I like these stories. Do them more often imo.
Also, we want more Duvel Moneycat.
My dog loves eating the leftover rice and meat in my mom's bowl each morning.
(Yeah, we're asian)
I wish I had an oatmeal lovin' cat...
I had a piece of cake and some tea for breakfast. The awesome Captain Duvel Moneycat eats a healthier breakfast than I do.
But hey, leftover Chinese food for lunch is comin' up! No scurvy here, folks.
If you are going to eat out you will pay more than eating at home. A morning coffee & oatmeal is the ~same price as coffee and a muffin and better for you. I found their oatmeal above average with generous portions of mixed nuts & fruits but wish it was hotter. I'd have it again. Ask for the bagged nuts, fruit, & sugar on the side & add them yourself.
Ben, if you are ever out of town and need someone to cat-sit for you, I will be more than happy to fly up from Birmingham and take care of that funny little guy.
what is that line "Stella!" from? I hear that all the time and it drives me nuts!
and thank you for reviewing breakfast.
"Stella!" is from "A Streetcar Named Desire."
I second the motion for Captain Duvel Moneycat to weigh in on other crucial issues in the future.
that first picture's freakin' awesome. it looks like capt. moneycat is holding the clipboard while he reviews the oatmeal. lol.
is a review from a being that regularly licks his own butthole a good thing? hrm...
I love that as commenters who usually argue and disagree over so many things, we can all come together over the sweet Mr. Captain Duvel Moneycat. He is truly the epitome of the universal language of love.
@BlondeGrlz: He could work with Tax Cat perhaps. Although, Captain Duvel Moneycat by himself would be just fine, too.
I love the cat... can't say much about the oatmeal, but the cat is so damned cute!
Starbucks delivers?!
So did a Starbucks representative get your feedback while your tried the food, or did they run off before you could get a confessions article out of them?
Agreed, Captain Duvel Moneycat should become a contributor.
To the Editors:
To Meg - I'm obsessed with muffins, too. I sure hope there's a support group for people like us....
Ben- Be thankful it wasn't army coffee, pours like oil and could potentially damage vital organs.
Chris- I don't get it, either.
Carey- Thanks for advising me how to get you to open the door :)
To Captain Duvel Moneycat: Another Nom Nom was needed, and a mild sedative. Seek professional help.
Do you put those horrendous caps on your kitty cat's paws?!
I think I would prefer my boiled egg to be left unpeeled. The thoughts of some greasy minimum-wage earner picking at my egg with his fingernails makes me queasy.
I just had to register here and add that never before have I so thoroughly entertained and informed regarding breakfast simultaneously like this. Ever. Something tells me that there's a coffee-flavored Starbucks coffee (how novel!) and a sugar-bleeding muffin in my future. Yum!
I demand a youtube video to see how fast that cat can munch a bowl of oatmeal.
HELP! I am cat-sitting this weekend and I want to give it some oatmeal, this bad boy really seems to be going crazy for it.
Do most cats like oatmeal or just this one?
I only have steel-cut oats so will those be okay?
Is it really the oatmeal or the milk the cat likes?
I. Want. More. Captain Duvel Moneycat! Those claws! That insatiable desire for oatmeal!
My room mate's cat LOVED broccoli so that was fun waving the mini tree in front of his face, his claws reaching up and grabbing the treat. Then eat like a starving cat who regularly gets kicked down the stairs (pffft, never happened. Spoiled rotten little cat. Ate better than we die -- he got all the broccoli.)
I'm going to have to get some of that Starbucks oatmeal--in order to see if my two black cats like it.
Just don't feed your kitty too much oatmeal. They are carnivores after all, though considering the shit that's in their food, I wouldn't be suprised they enjoyed REAL oats instead of the crappy processed stuff.
More reviews from Captain Duvel Moneycat please!
It does sound like Starbucks has made some good changes now.
It's nice to know Starbucks is selling cat food. I'll have to pop down there and get my wife's cat some.
OK, Ben just got a new middle name;
Clawed.
Enuf said. ^.^
I agree 100% with Captain Duvel Moneycat being a regular contributer to this site.
@Segador: I add my vote to this motion! More Nom Noms are definitely needed on Consumerist.
You can feel free to count my vote two or three times. :)
@Cyclokitty: My cat won't even be in the same room when broccoli is cooking! Toes, on the other hand, are apparently very palatable. *shrugs*
Okay, where are the pictures of the cat coming from? I must get them all together and email them to my girlfriend, it looks just like her cat. She'd love it.
Oatmeal = high fiber and high water content.
Any takers for litter box duties? :)
Hmmm, I tried a protein pack pack today...It was tasty and a nice selection of different foods, but I think that I would have liked a second egg. I was still kind of hungry after I finished it. My usual breakfast is the Banana Chocolate Vivanno with extra chocolate. Choclatey, Healthy, and Chocolatey.
@BrianDaBrain: I agree that consumerist is in dire need of more Nom Noms and that Captain Duvel Moneycat should be made a regular contributor.
Finally, are there plans in the works for a Captain Duvel Moneycat fan club. My cat wants to join cause he looks kinda like Captain Duvel Moneycat. I am in support of my cat's desire to join such a fanclub because Captain Moneycat has a job and is therefore an excellent role model for my currently unemployed kitty.
I'd be all over that protein plate if it wasn't for the cheese. I'm just not a big fan of plain ol' cheese.
As a cheese spread? Depends on the flavor.
On a burger? I can do that.
Melted over nachos? Now you're talking.
The oatmeal's a non-starter for me since I usually take a packet of instant with me to work (160 cal), unless I've already had a serving of bran flakes (w/ 1% milk, 165 cal) before I leave the house.
If the apple bran muffin was a weeeeeee bit less on the calories front, I could go for that. (Yeah, I'm one of those idiot calorie counters. I'm not proud of myself.) But as a once-in-a-while treat? Sure, I could do that. It's still lower than the rest of their muffins. The Stella at 280 cal would be a more likely pick for me though.
That cat looks exactly like my cat, Fruitbat. He even has the old man-y white hairs in his ears! I will have to try some oatmeal out on her. She already loves bits of bread.
IRS Circular 230 Disclosure: United States Treasury Regulations provide that a taxpayer may rely only on formal written advice meeting specific requirements to avoid federal tax penalties. Any tax advice in the text of this message, or in any attachment, does not meet those requirements and, accordingly, is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, by any recipient to avoid any penalties that may be imposed upon such recipient by the Internal Revenue Service.
IMPORTANT/CONFIDENTIAL: This message from the law firm of Locke Lord Bissell & Liddell LLP is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient (or authorized to act on behalf of the intended recipient) of this message, you may not disclose, forward, distribute, copy, or use this message or its contents. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by return e-mail and delete the original message from your e-mail system. Thank you.
Cutest. Cat. Ever.