The "C" word comes to mind.

Yeah - the rep was extremely rude and a slow to understand a simple request - but what's the help of playing up the pity card? I'm having a bad day / I'm sick reminds me of all those "I was treated poorly, and I'm in the MILITARY" posts we see.

To be honest: is this really something you should be sharing on a tech support call? It's such a non sequitur overshare that it could've sounded like a joke.

"I just found out I have a brain tumor" sounds like a genuine thing you're going through. An out of nowhere: "I'm being harassed and stalked and I just found out my brain tumor didn't go away" sounds kinda like the crazy dude talking to himself at the bus stop.

@legwork: but they have the APP STORE!!!

@Clold:

Agreed on that. Playing the pity card tends to not work, and that's what was done here. It does suck, but it's totally unrelated to the problem and something the CSR didn't need to hear about.

I have to give the tech credit here. It is not his problem. She wasn't getting her way show she tried to get him to help her because she has cancer(or so she said). Personally someone trying this shit with me would just just make me care less about helping them.

Unless the email account caused the cancer somehow it doesn't need to be brought up.

Maybe she was thinking out loud. Like, "Is this my problem? Do I need to respond? No, not my problem." Maybe she was just clarifying to herself.

Yeah, I would have just ignored that comment if I were Sheila. It was rather superfluous.

I'm on side with Sheila - your life story has no bearing on what a CSR can do for you, particularly when the explanation is as vague as it seems and the tone of the customer is very terse.

Just say what you want, if it can't be done politely ask for an escalation.

I hate to be the jerk around here, but she's right, it ISN'T her problem. She could have handled it better, sure, but if there's nothing she can do, you having a medical condition isn't going to change that.

If it can't be done, ask politely for an escalation.

Sounds like the caller expected somebody to do something for him because he has a brain tumor. I am guessing if he isn't a bold faced liar he should spend some time worrying about that than email accounts and what he will be charged. I wonder how irate customers would be if the CSR said, my husband left me, and my daughter is pregnant and I cant afford health insurance, but thanks for spending my time dealing with changing your email issues.

In my experience, people only bring up things like that to get sympathy so they can get service they aren't entitled to. And what he asked for wasn't possible since the MobileMe switch, of which she had already informed him, so why else would he mention it? So while Sheila's response wasn't professional (the only proper thing to do would to have ignored his statement altogether), you get tired of hearing stuff like that.

Okay. Deep breath. Gotta get through layers of dense. Must focus...

Here's the thing: When you have a brain tumor, you are automatically entitled to be a little pissy. It's just how it works.

Now having a brain tumor is not an automatic trump card to get whatever you want, but here's the other thing: When someone tells you they have a brain tumor and the FIRST WORDS, the FIRST WORDS you say in response are "not my problem"... I shouldn't have to finish that sentence. If I haven't penetrated all that dense, it means there's nothing to penetrate to; eventually I'll just come out the other side of the dense.

So in essence, they don't give a crap about us, we don't give a crap about them, and we don't give a crap about each other. I have no idea why there are so many customer service problems in this country.

I don't believe that the caller was "playing the pity card", I think that people who receive distressing news have the urge to share it because they're full of tension and it needs to get out.

When they're in another stressful situation, like dealing with small hassles like tech support, it tends to be a way of releasing some stress and not escalating to being overtly angry with the person who isn't making the situation any easier.

Compassion costs nothing, nor do good manners or civility, but you'd think they were the most costly things in the world by the way some people behave. All she had to say was, "I'm so sorry to hear that, sir," and then pause and wait for him to state his next request. I disagree that the "proper" thing to do was ignore it. Even if it was a lie (and I *don't* believe it was a lie after reading the conversation), how hard is it to make one compassionate statement in response?

Huh, to me it sounds like the caller as just venting his frustrations by saying out loud the laundry list of shit not going right (with the "and this isn't going right either" being unspoken). I have occasionally done it myself. A person can only take so much before they have to say something. And you know, when other people do it I respond with compassion and understanding.

You see, we are all sharing the same human experience, so for me the "I'm not paid to give a shit about you" attitude just doesn't cut it. It's a matter of decency. You don't kick a man when he's down and by sharing the list of stuff that's upsetting him not only is he explaining to the rep why the email issue is so irritating (..It's not just the email lady, I'm not crazy, I'm just having a shitty day, please don't take offense..) he is BEGGING not to be kicked while he's down (sorry lady, I can't take any more, can you please just help me, I'm suffering here.)

I think most people need a lesson in empathy and compassion. Most people are so self absorbed they don't realize what asshats they are. "That's not my problem" ie. "This doesn't affect me or my paycheck so it doesn't matter. Sorry 'bout your luck looser."

The correct response to someone venting this kind of frustration would have been "Sounds like your having a tough day. Lets see what we can do to fix the issue with your email."

That's it. Just a little sprinkle of humanity.

Of course, that's above and beyond for most people.

It's sort of surprising that so far every consumerist poster has taken the side of the CSR. The point is, it isn't her problem, but she should have said "I'm sorry to hear that..." Simple as that, none of this would have happened.

@glitch44: @Clold: @sketchy:

God forbid the caller explain why she's upset.

Even if those who are saying the OP shouldn't have mentioned the cancer had a point, the customer service rep should never have responded with "not my problem". That was in no way an appropriate response. If I were a manager, and any employee under me ever treated a customer like that, I'd fire them in a heartbeat.

could it be possible that the CSR made an inadvertent typo... and meant "not a problem", rather than "not my problem"?

granted it took her a while to understand him... i'm saying that maybe we're not giving sheila enough credit.

Regardless of whether it's oversharing, that is not an appropriate response from a customer service representative. A simple "I'm sorry" would have been fine, or if that's just too much compassion, ignore the statement altogether.

That damn voice recognition software! Next time, don't speak your thoughts, Sheila!

It doesn't matter what the caller says or does. The CSR is supposed to be professional, the caller is not. A professional makes a meaningless statement of empathy and redirects the conversation.

If the caller says, "I've got a brain tumor," the CSR is going to think, "Gee, I haven't heard that one in a while," and say, "I'm sorry to hear that, unfortunately we have no way to do what you're asking," or simply ignore it. That's her job. She doesn't have to get suckered by a pity play, but neither should she have responded in that manner.

Is it possible she meant to say "Not A problem" instead of "Not MY problem"?

I've had many CSRs - from different companies even - use the phrase "Not a problem" when responding to a request or question. (Much like "My pleasure.") It must be a CSR lingo thing.

Am I the only one who thought it could've been (a really awkward) typo/Freudian slip? Perhaps she meant "Not a problem."?

@msbluesky

You read my mind!

I think she meant to say "Not a problem."

The rest of her communication seems to jive with that too.

Oops, already mentioned by others.

Some of you people who commented are just as bad as Sheila. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned his problems to her, but a HUMAN response is necessary. If you made idle conversation at the bus stop with some one and they mentioned that they just found out they had cancer, would you say "not my problem?" The circumstances of the situation aren't so different that it immediately means he's trying to get special treatment and pity. Show some respect.

Brian, I'm sorry for your bad news. I'm sorry you have cancer. It is a terrible, terrible thing. I hope you do well.

@JamieSueAustin: While I agree with you, it's hard to believe everything you hear when working such a job [or any job for that matter. Or quite frankly anything ever because everybody lies]. People will say all sorts of crazy stuff just to get what they want. Plain and simple. People will lie through their teeth if they think they aren't getting something they deserve.

While the tech person may not have gone about the situation correctly she was ultimately correct. It is not her problem. People have bad days all the time, cancer or not.

There's no such thing as a free lunch. And if people don't want to be treated differently for being gay, or handicapped, or whatever then as far as I'm concerned the same applies to those with cancer. Good or bad.

Not to say that the person was lying, I just could imagine a friend telling them to say that they are getting stalked, "They'd have to change your account if you say that", thinking it's a good idea, and then attempting it.

With the "I've been able to do it since the Mac Plus", comment: Has .mac been around for 20 years? What the hell does a Mac Plus have to do with .mac? That's like the people who come and buy a computer and say, "Oh I've been using Macs since the IIe", or "The last computer I had had Windows 3 on it", and want to transfer their data files from their tape drive to their new computer. "Oh, well it worked backed then!"

Well that's fine and dandy, but when you go to your car do you accidentally walk out in front to turn the old-timey crank and suddenly realize where has all the time gone?

I'm not trying to be mean or evil. I'm just saying.

And I checked out the blog and the person may in fact have cancer, and may in fact have a stalker, but I still stand by my OPINION.

I don't want to come across as unsympathetic, but I don't really think this is too bad. For the record, I just graduated with a degree in neuroscience and I'm attending medical school next fall, and I've talked with patients who have brain tumors. It's not a free pass to be irritable and vent at tech support.

To be honest, I'm more offended with the caller in this situation. There was obviously a misunderstanding between the two, and he breaks out the "I've been around since xyz, I know how things are done" line. It would seem that a policy has changed, a policy that is totally out of Sheila's realm of responsibility. Brian jumps to an entitled and arrogant tone before Sheila does anything wrong.

Additionally, if you are having a bad day/week, you can say so. A simple "I've had a really rough day, and I'd really appreciate any help you could give me" is much better than indignantly rattling off personal problems that the tech obviously had no prior knowledge of.

After Sheila's comment, Brian doesn't even take the high road. He begins with threats of emails to the Consumerist and name drops Steve Jobs. If he is going to publicly air his personal problems, he had better realize that people might not care like they should, even if they are supposed to be serving him.

Could Sheila have conducted herself better. Sure. However, I would never approach tech support like Brian did. That, to me, seems like an irresponsible consumer.

What has happened to this site?

its dis-hearting to see so many anti-consumer ideas/posts on this site.

Before you make a comment on the site, read the comments code. This paragraph in particular:

Avoid blaming the poster or victim or commenting only to be negative
Please, suggest alternate courses of action, or add important information that might help others or that we missed. Don't attack people. Assume good faith. Tipsters need help, not ridicule. Express contrary opinions, but treat others as you would like to be treated. Don't constantly spew negativity, be it about other posters, the site, the article, or anything. Commenting is a privilege, and can be removed at any time at our discretion.

@Chris Walters:

Since I don't post here often, I can't tell if that was directed solely at me, or everyone posting in the comments section.

Either way, I do believe in good customer support. I do not believe in people using an unfair and unrelated situation to try and manipulate someone who is entry level customer service representative, and become hostile when they don't get their way. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but that is what I perceive to have happened in this case.

I typically love the advice from the Consumerist, and have used EECB to some success. However, I personally don't think this experience was as bad as others, while others obviously do. I just assumed the comments section was where we could discuss our differences of opinion.

@mrpenbrook: No, sorry, you're not entitled to get pissy if you have a brain tumor. Your problems in life have absolutely no bearing on how you get to treat people. Or would you have us whip out our problems like trading cards to see who has it worse off? Perhaps the Tech Support lost both her legs in a car accident so she trumps his tumor and she's allowed to get pissy?

No, of course not. That's dense thinking.

Is his illness, if true, horrible? Sure. Could she have been more polite? Definitely.

But is it her problem? No, it is not. His brain tumor has no bearing on a tech support call.

Sorry, venting about brain tumors falls under the mother/ father/ sister/ brother/ significant other category. It does not fall under the tech support/ UPS delivery / mechanic category.

We are not beautiful and unique snowflakes cherished by everyone in the world. To delude yourself into thinking otherwise is sheer folly.

Ummm, who is Sheena? I thought her name was Sheila.

I was stalked for a year. It was the worst year of my life. Imagine being raped mentally everyday and you will have a small idea of what it was like. Having been a victim of a crime and am still dealing with residual effects, I know that when I get moody and pissy it is NOT the time to call up tech support to get a problem taken care of, call people I am having a disagreement with, etc no matter how tempting it may be.

Whenever we are going through trauma, we have to remember that it really isn't anyone else's fault or their problem. It is a hard pill to swallow but it is true. There are individuals who can be so uncaring and hateful. When going through any sort of trauma, illness or whatnot, we have to take care of ourselves before anyone else and that means avoiding uncaring and hateful people.

My advice to Brain would be to make sure he is in a good state of mind when making phone calls that have the possibility to be unpleasant (and being a reader of the Consumerist, you know that tech support calls can be unpleasant). It isn't worth raising his stress level.

Could Sheila have handled it better? Yes. Could Brian have handled it better? Yes.

(And I loathe it when people claim they are being stalked to get their way or to get back at someone. They need to fall off the planet. I don't feel this is the case in Brian's situation.)

I choose to give Sheila a teensy bit of slack: when a total stranger reveals something completely personal out of the blue, it can be so off-putting you blurt out something before your brain kicks in.

And, only a teeny bit because, when she recovered, she should have apologized.

Okay, I've worked in customer service for going on 10 years now. But even if it had only been 10 minutes I'd still know enough to not to fucking say "Not my problem". I've heard some pretty insane stuff over the years and have never had a problem dealing with it politely. OP wasn't asking for a new car or free shit FFS, just to get the problem handled.

WTF is wrong with all of you saying OP should keep their mouth shut about their problems? How about, you're in customer service, service the fucking customers regardless of what information they disclose as long as it's reasonably civil? Any other response aside from some polite empathy is out of bounds from a CS standpoint. Seriously, WTF is wrong with some people?

@Chris Walters: All to often the best help one can give the tipster is to correct their wrong behavior/attitudes/expectations.

"too often," not "to often."

*facepalm*

First rule in Customer Service, you don't talk about Customer Service.

No...wait.

First rule in Customer Service is don't be a jerk to the customer.

Ceriphim: If you've worked in customer services for so long, you'll know people don't bring up these kinds of personal details unless they're demanding you go above and beyond or are using it as ammunition for a complaint.

The person on the phone didn't cause her health problems and it's not related to her support request. Trying to guilt trip someone into doing more than they should do is a cheap tactic and customer services people get it all the time.

Your unrelated personal issues are not their problem, it may be very blunt to say it but it you use these things as a trump card you're pretty unlikely to get pity from a phone operator who hears these things day in day out and are more likely to be treated with contempt.

yeah, OP fault, I know.

@abigsmurf: Haha! People bring up stuff like that all the time! I've worked in Customer service for... ugh.. at least a decade, myself. Believe me, some of the stuff people say...

I sincerely think most of it isn't true. I may roll my eyes while staring at the wall, but I would never say anything rude to the customer. You sympathize, apologize, then figure out what you *can* do to solve their problem. There's no need to be rude. It's part of my job description to put up with customers and their quirky ways.

The above situation is no doubt largely due to Apple outsourcing to another company (regardless of being overseas or located in the states). Contract employees do not receive decent pay, benefits, or good, safe working conditions. They suffer from high turnover rates and poor attitudes due to the disrespect they receive from management.

Every company-run call center I've ever managed has been pleasant in the extreme, with calls handled efficiently and politely. It's not the best job in the world, but at least you feel like you're being compensated fairly for the effort you put in every day.

I swear, outsourcing is the worst thing to happen in the Customer Service industry. Customer Service agents are your first point of contact with the customer. If you're paying them $6.00/hour and sticking them in hot, crowded call centers, where even a three minute unscheduled bathroom break is cause for reprimand, it's not surprising they're so grumpy when they answer the phone.

@twophrasebark: I thought the same exact thing. Change "Not my problem" for "Not a problem" and the whole paragraph makes more sense.

Isn't it possible that this is what the CSR said (or meant to say)?

i agree it sounds like 'not a problem' was misheard as 'not my problem'. But even if the CSR said "not my problem" so what, they don't want your life story and it just gets in the way of resolving your problem for you to bring it up.

Maybe Sheila was pissed he called her Sheena, and racially insulted her..

"I'm sorry sir, but mobileme is no longer tumor-enabled. I'm not authorized to remove stalkers for you either, without additional charges."