Personally, I would use the room. I don't see the point of breastfeeding in public when a private room is available.

It's not that breastfeeding is 'dirty' or 'wrong'. It's just that it's my breast and my bonding time with the baby, and it's not something I'd like to share with other people who could gawk because of their own insecurities.

If the room is not up to snuff, I understand. But Addie writes, "I told him that I did not want to nurse my baby in a room that smelled like baby poop." And does not mention that she had ever been in the room. Is she prejudiced against it? It makes me feel like she's trying to make some kind of statement.

Also: Hey, guess what. Babies poop. Aren't you used to the smell yet?

I sense a nurse-in coming...

If that was me I would have called the police for harassment.

uh oh. First rule of Fight Club is: Don't get the La Leche League on your ass.

@Daniels: Yeah, tending to a baby's every need and whim 24/7 makes us completely selfish. Just because a room is provided doesn't mean she is obligated to use it. I don't always eat in my dining room; sometimes eating in the living room is more convenient. Why would you care if a mother fed her baby in your line of sight? Does it ruin your day? Would you even notice?

Holy cow. That law seems absolutely ridiculous if it's scope is as large as you're describing. Is it really saying that you can't even ask her to leave the store? Is she automatically assumed to have authorization to be there despite the fact it's private property because it's a store open to the public? I would think that it would mean that a woman is allowed to breastfeed wherever she wants but that she can always be asked to leave private property, right?

I would agree that Toys R Us was certainly not in the right to throw her out.

On the other hand (the one that includes compromise), supposing the baby room didn't smell, I don't think it's too much to ask for her to go there to nurse.

She didn't mention actually checking out the room, which is a big deciding factor to me as to whether she was justified in her actions or if she was just being confrontational.

I fail to understand why it would even be an issue, especially when she was had a nursing cover on. But then I've *NEVER* understood how some people consider nursing to be offensive. For a store catering to babies and mothers, this is probably one of the worst forms of publicity it could ask for.

I've never understood why people are so adamant about breast feeding in a public place? If you're discreet about it then fine, but most of these people want their boobs hanging out for all to see as if its no big deal. At the same time we say that a 0.0001ms flash of a boob on tv is a CRIME AGAINST CHILDREN!!

It's been my wife's experience that the Mother and Baby room is the nicest and cleanest aspect of our local Babies R Us.

And while the employee probably wasn't correct in telling her she could only use the mother's room, using unpaid merchandise she probably shouldn't be using the glider to nurse either. Babies spit up, and I certainly wouldn't be interested in purchasing a chair with someone else's milk, spit up, or drool potentially on it. Perhaps a compromise of using the many benches on the sales floor or some other non-merchandise would have been a good solution. I mean you wouldn't let someone test drive a baby bottle, bib, highchair, changing table, etc.. as they may involve a transfer of bodily fluids. I would think this would fall under the same rationale.

Breastfeeding is a great and natural thing, but the risk to "damaging" their merchandise doesn't make this sound THAT unreasonable a request and something that a conversation with a manager probably could have easily resolved.

I've seen enough women breast feeding in public that I don't really notice any more. My girlfriend has always found it a little disturbing, as she sees feeding more along the lines of private mother-child bonding time, not something to be done in public. Either way works for me.

That being said, the employee had no right to try to force the OP into a room to do it. It's likely that the employee was just uncomfortable with the act and was trying to get it out of his sight. Lame.

@Daniels: Yes, the rooms are there, no they're not always available. The one at the location near me has one small sofa and a changing table, and is usually occupied.

I nursed both of my children for nearly 2 years each and this was 22 years ago before nursing areas were commonly provided, but I was never harrassed or bothered when nursing in public (covered). If there had been a room available back then I would certainly have used it.

Did she check out the nursing room and it smelled? Or did she just decided to sit down in a NEW glider and start nursing? I see nothing wrong with an employee letting her know they had a room set aside for moms, and telling her they'd prefer that she not nurse her baby while sitting on their merchandise. It's easy to nurse while walking around the store (I did that all the time with a nursing cover draped over us), or she could have found a seat in a public area where benches or other public seating was available. I doubt he would have made a comment if she had not been nursing in a chair on the sales floor but if he had, then she'd have every right to be offended.

@Neecy: I think the issue is more with her using the display item to do this. I wonder if there might be liability or sanitary issues involved as well.

No matter what people's opinions are about breastfeeding in public, the fact remains: the law is the law. California says you can't throw a woman out for doing so in public. She was "justified" in feeding the baby wherever she wanted -- and if you need a reason, trying out the nursing chair in action seems like a pretty valid one. It's nuts that a place called "Babies R Us" would have a problem with, you know, babies.

Personally, I support breastfeeding moms all the way. People freaking out about something so ordinary and natural are the problem, not the moms and babies.

@Neecy: Some of us find it to be offensive when we are trying to eat and see a tit hanging out with a baby attached. That is indecent exposure and something that should be done in your home or another private place.

@picardia: Doesn't Babies R Us have the right to refuse service to ANYONE? I would agrue that they can throw her out of their store for anything they want.

I've never had a baby (& thus, I've certainly never breastfed one). I have no idea what approach I'd take to public nursing if/when I ever had a kid.

but it's not like this mom was nursing in the middle of a Brooks Brothers or something; presumably everyone in a Babies-R-Us is either a parent or knows someone with small children (& thus, is aware/reasonably comfortable with the notion that babies nurse). plus, she was sitting in a chair specifically designed for nursing! If I was considering buying an expensive piece of furniture specifically for nursing, I would certainly want to test its performance for that purpose -- particularly in an environment where I was legally entitled to be nursing.

I understand that nursing makes some people uncomfortable, & that some women prefer not to nurse in public, & that this is a very hot-button issue. but the bottom line is that the mom in this story should not have been asked to stop nursing, both according to the laws of her state & the specific policies that Toys-R-Us corporate has outlined. I don't see how criticizing her actions is an appropriate response.

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No to put too fine a point on it, but it's up to the store to decide whether it's okay to breastfeed on their display chairs. I mean, Bed Bath and Beyond gets mighty pissy if I take a nap on their beds, even though that's exactly what a bed is meant for, that it allows me to evaluate the bed's comfort more thoroughly, and I'm not exactly doing something offensive. I'd probably ask a member of staff if it's okay for me to lay on the bed for a minute and get a feel for it, but I wouldn't outright go to sleep. There's no need to.

@The Unicorn: So if I am considering buying an expensive piece of furniture to help "create" another little bundle of joy, would it be cool to test drive each mattress at the serta store for that purpose? There are always several public benches in the store not in mothers room that are not merchandise that would work just as well without putting their inventory at risk.

@trekwars2000: Interesting you find a breat offensive and are the first in this post to also use a vulgar term.

Women are the source of human life and the breast is the source of human nourishment. A woman breast feeding her infant is one of the most holy and sacred acts there is on this earth.

Perhaps you've noticed all the great works (often religious art) that features a woman feeding an infant? The act of breast feeding has been celebrated in art and culture for hundreds of years.

Only in America in our dual sex-obssessed / sex-repressed culture do some try and turn this into an ugly and shameful act.

To cheapen and pervert it into a sexual or offensive act is merely a reflection on yourself.

@trekwars2000: No, it is not indecent exposure. The law spells that out very clearly.
I find ugly faces offensive, but I just look the other way. Oh well!
If you don't like it, too bad. You're an adult. Suck it up.

Disclosure: My wife is due with our first in November. And I've given BRU a LOT of money recently.

1. Re: "on the merchandise" - I bought a floor model glider/ottoman combo. I then took the cloth material off and washed it - I kind of assumed it had been tried, and expected it. That's why it was at discount, right?

2. HooterHiders.com - my wife just got hers from Target. They had good reviews, and she plans on using it. And a funny URL for me to post - I have nothing to do with the company.

3. I would've stuck around until they got security. Then made a bigger fuss. I'm sure my wife would too. Then made sure to let any associates in "Mommy & Me" or "Mom's Club" or any other local mom's clubs around - being sure to let the manager know that on the way out.

If it was nearly any other store, I would've said that maybe a little more discretion may have been in order - like I wouldn't expect you to plop down in a La-Z-Boy in (insert your regional upscale furniture store) and do it, but a piece of furniture specifically designed for it, in a store that supposedly caters to somebody who would have just such a situation, is what makes this so wrong.

I personally don't understand how nursing mothers are so comfortable exposing their breasts in public to nurse - it is an incredibly intimate bonding experience between mother and child. And while I realize that to a certain extent, they get to the point where they don't feel quite as (for lack of a better term, pardon any offense) "modest" about it, there is a double-standard about breasts in public, in which the exposure of one - in any circumstance - causes a definite reaction.

The reality of the situation is that it is a state law that breastfeeding mothers can do so in public, in private at liberty. It's a law, and complaining about it doesn't change it. However, I think that the instant confrontational stance this particular mother took sends a message akin to, "I am going to breastfeed when I like, where I like, and you aren't going to tell me otherwise." I think that's the point where I go from, "Oh well, it's her right" to "Just who do you think you are?".

In this case, both parties erred.

um. i'm gonna side with the store on this one. that's like saying if a toilet's on display it's perfectly ok to pee in it on the floor because you're trying it out. if she'd stood up and breast fed or sat on a chair that wouldn't possibly be for sale that's different. she should have checked out the room either way.

when it comes to possible spilling of bodily fluids on store merchandise i think this mother was in the wrong. if the baby spit up and it got on the chair, she's just wrecked the chair for another customer. would she have bought it? it's her right to breastfeed in public, it's not her right to use display items as she sees fit when it involves bodily fluids.

@Daniels: I can't read Daniels' post. What did it say?

I'm the mother of four children and I have breastfed them all (and am currently nursing my fourth - well, not right this moment cause it's hard to type). Just from a practical standpoint, I would not use the floor model chairs to breasfeed because there's always the possibility that my baby will spit up while nursing and get on the chair. I seriously doubt that a furniture store would let you "try out" a floor model couch while you eat cheetos and drink a slushie. I think if the store is providing an area specifically for breastfeeding then they should be able to redirect moms to that area.

@StyckyWycket: because it's just a snack? "intimate bonding" or whatever, you're basically just putting food in the kid's tummy. my friend breast fed while walking around, she generally kept a shawl over her and the kid though.

@sleze69: Nothing worth reading, if it got disemvoweled.

I can ALMOST see both sides of the arguement. Honestly, I don't think "anywhere" is acceptable. I don't feel I should be forced to explain to my child why some woman whips her boob out. Some aren't very conspicous about it, and don't cover up at all.
However, at a baby store that has a whole section related to breastfeeding, it shouldn't be that huge of an issue. The boy should have simply suggested the use of the room, and talked to his manager if he had an issue with it.
Middle of a mall or resturant...not a good place. I've almost gotten to a fight with an idiot teen, because he felt he could swear every other word matterless of where he was and who was nearby. Well..not in front of my kid. People need to respect others.

Only breast feed in public if you are going to show them to everyone. If not, find a room.

@trekwars2000: Maybe the baby finds your fork and spoon offensive. The kid is having lunch, why should that bother you?

A mother nursing a baby is not offensive. A plastic nipple made from petroleum products on a plastic bottle made of the same is offensive.

@Fujikopez: "I don't always eat in my dining room; sometimes eating in the living room is more convenient."

so along the lines of other things that can make a mess, do you change your baby's diaper in food courts for convenience? do you leave your empty drink containers on book shelves after having purchased coffee in the cafe instead of finding a bin?

YOUR dining room and YOUR living room are YOUR property. this chair wasn't hers. what if you wanted to just sit in it and try it out to find there's some other baby's barf on it? or maybe a bit of napkin used to wipe up dribble? is that ok?

I am all for breast feeding in public, but i don't think it was inappropriate for the store to ask her to move.

I wouldn't go into a Pier 1, sit down at one of their dining room tables and pull out a bagged lunch. It's perfectly acceptable for a store to ask me to keep my food away from the merchandise and I don't see why that doesn't apply here.

Wow, I can't believe how many commenters are comparing breastfeeding to sex and defecation. They're nothing dirty about breastfeeding. The only reason why people have hangups about it is because they're conditioned to believe that breasts are sex objects and therefore dirty. Breastfeeding is their original purpose, and they're is nothing naughty about that.

And personally, I never found it very "intimate". I was bonding, yes, but mostly just feeding her.

Also, for all of you who are worried about the kid spitting up on the furniture: Babies spit up whenever, whereever, regardless of whether they're currently eating, just ate, or ate an hour ago. My daughter very rarely spit up at all. Does this mean that BRU doesn't allow children under a year near any of the merchandise? Nope.

@sleze69:
Me neither.

I thought the "comment code" would fix stuff like that.

I have to agree that she shouldn't have been breast-feeding on store merchandise, unless the floor model would NEVER be sold. I mean, you can breast-feed in a piano store, but if I owned it, I wouldn't let you do it on the Steinway!

@katylostherart: Again, what does poop and littering have to do with breastfeeding? For me, breastfeeding was never, ever messy. No mess. Nada. And BRU should just assume that merchandise + babies (regardless of feeding status) = potential mess.

@Fujikopez: there's nothing dirty about breastfeeding? feeding a kid very often results in dribble and spit up. that's pretty dirty. and half digested milk is pretty stinky when spilled on fabric. and sure kids spit up all the time no matter where they are. but does that mean it's ok to make it a very probable possibility that your kids spit up is going to get on someone else's propery when it's avoidable? no.

@trekwars2000: Why on earth would a breast turn your appetite?

For that matter, why on earth are you trying to eat in a Babies R' Us?

I can't comprehend the mentality that finds feeding a child offensive and frankly, you see far more skin on many 40' movie billboards than you do on the average breast-feeding mother.

Okay, absolutely nothing wrong with nursing in public. The problem here is using a chair that someone else might purchase for breastfeeding. It's a little weird IMO. Sit in the chair and test it that way. Hold your baby in the position you would use to nurse, but it's quite rude to nurse your baby in merchandise that you have not purchased and that was not intended for you to use at your convenience.

@Fujikopez: so breastfeeding for YOU was never messy. congrats. other people are messy. it's not wrong to be courteous.

The law is the law. The law is wrong.

Sexual intercourse is natural - we (generally) don't do it in public.
Pooping is natural - we (generally) don't do it in public.

Breastfeeding is natural - but I don't want to see it in public anymore than I want to see other natural acts in public.

I'm not sure why she didn't feed her son before she got there? It says in the post he is easily distracted and "wiggly"...I wouldn't think it would be any easier in the middle of a store than it is in a parking lot.

@SkokieGuy: Women are the source of human life and the breast is the source of human nourishment. A woman breast feeding her infant is one of the most holy and sacred acts there is on this earth.

Wow, that's pretty dramatic.

There's a mother goat out in back of my house that's performing a holy and sacred act right now for her kid.

Seriously, it isn't anything special just like birth in itself isn't anything special. It happens every day all over the world. So what.

Only in America in our dual sex-obssessed / sex-repressed culture do some try and turn this into an ugly and shameful act.

Now there I agree with you. Americans are so afraid they or their children will see a boobie. It would be hilarious if it weren't so stupid.

Everything out on display in a store for babies is going to potentially be covered with bodily fluids. Babies NOT being fed, spit up, throw up, drool, mouth everything, etc.

Babies R Us no doubt fully expects this, and that is why stores place items are on display, to try before you buy.

Using a nursing chair to nurse is not in the same league as a test drive of a toilet at Home Depot.

I never see hot moms breastfeeding in public. That's probably why it gets a bad rap.

It seems like a lot of people who have commented are confused about breastfeeding. Most (if not all) women don't just whip out their breasts in the middle of a crowded room and let their kid go at it. They cover up their entire upper bodies, and usually the baby too, before they even move around any clothing. As long as they're being discreet, why should women be forced to feed their child in the bathroom or out in the car?

Although in this instance, I don't see why she didn't use the room that was provided specifically for breastfeeding. Neither person in this story is 100% at fault though; the woman should've used the room, but the manager should've left her alone as long as she was covering herself.

@katylostherart: Obviously you didn't realize that "dirty" in that context means "deviant", not "messy".